This has nothing to do with movies, but I feel bad about not providing you guys with a new comic today. So I thought the least I could do was tell you a story about the Nine Inch Nails concert I went to last night.

Well, actually – The LEAST I could do is nothing. But you get my meaning.

Jared and I went to the concert together last night pulling into the parking lot about 6:00. We we just kind of hanging out for a while, waiting to go in – when I realized about 6:20 that I had forgotten the tickets!

I felt like such a moron. At the end of the day Thursday, the last thing Jared said to me before I went home (we work in the same office building and department) was "DON’T FORGET THE TICKETS!" I went home, let Truman out to go to the bathroom, changed clothes, made sure Truman was fed and immediately had to turn around to get across town and pick up Jared. In my rush, I forgot the tickets.

So we’re rocketing back across town on the Interstate the day after we got this big snow and ice storm, trying to get back to my house so we can grab the tickets and get back to the arena before the show starts at 7:30. We managed to do it, but what a waste of time. Jared was actually really understanding. I figured he’d be really ticked off, considering he’s the Nine Inch Nails Super Fan. But he was cool about it. I think I was actually more upset.

Our tickets were for general admission, so once we got inside, we headed to the floor. We positioned ourselves center stage half way between the front row and the sound board. It was a pretty good spot. We stood behind this guy and his girlfriend who was a total Avril Lavigne clone. Except she was about 4 feet tall, so it made it really easy to see over her.

The opening band was called Moving Units and the were nothing spectacular. They were out-and-out rip offs of The Killers. And I hate The Killers. Their lead singer was mumbling the whole time and acted barely enthused to be there. I’m sorry, but that’s just posing. If I was in a band lucky enough to open up for Nine Inch Nails and play big arenas, I think I could muster a little more enthusiasm. They left the stage with a smattering of applause.

When Nine Inch Nails started an hour later, Jared and I were shoved toward opposite ends of the crowd, so I didn’t see him until the end of the show.

The show itself was really good. A good mix of new and old songs, frenetic mosh pit anthems and slower, more atmospheric work. Most importantly, they played "Suck" – which is probably my favorite Nine Inch Nails song ever. I remember playing that one over and over when I was in high school. Just taking long walks, stomping around and listening to it on an infinite loop.

Trent Reznor looked really good. I don’t know what he’s been doing lately, but I’d like to look into whatever health program he’s got going on. I’m used to pasty-faced, scrawny Trent Renznor. I don’t remember the man having big muscle-y arms. The crew cut he was sporting made him look like a miniature Henry Rollins! Without the tattoos, of course! ;-D

Something about concert audiences: If you are a crowd-surfer, DIE! Just do us all a favor and die. By the middle of the set, the sway and the crush of the audience squeezed me to about the third row. Really not a lot of room to manuever up there. You couldn’t really leave if you wanted to. As such, you don’t have the ability to turn around and keep your eyes peeled for incoming morons. I took a lot of kicks to the back of the head.

My antigonistic relationship with crowd-surfers leads me to extreme pettiness. If you come anywhere near me, I *WILL* try to steal your shoe. If I can’t get your shoe, I will punch you in the spine.

There were some people giving me some harsh looks when I was taking pocket shots to Johnny Crowd-Surfer’s kidneys. "Hey, man! It’s all part of the concert experience! Let ’em surf, man!"

"HEY, MAN! If they surf, they gotta expect not everyone is going to enjoy having to prop up their dumb asses with the back of their necks when they come out of nowhere!"

Some people were really turned off by my attitude, but you know there are people around you that feel the same way. I saw a few people start grabbing for shoes later in the show and it made me feel like I had accomplished something.

I’m actually leaving out a few important details about the crowd-surfers that had me so cheesed off. Earlier in the show when I was further away from the stage and there were still openings in the pit, a crowd-surfer came near me and suddenly there was no support under him. The dude crashed into me, pushing me backwards. His entire body weight was pressed against my throat as he decended with his forearm across my Adam’s Apple. The crowd response was pretty fast and they helped us back on our feet. But when I got up, I wanted to cave that guy’s head in. He sunk back into the crowd.

Another future brain surgeon tried to prop himself up into crowd-surfing position not by gathering the people around him to hoist him up on their hands. Rather, he put his hands on my shoulders and tried to climb up my back! When that wasn’t working, he actually put his hands AROUND MY THROAT! Okay, party foul, buddy. I promptly spun around, threw his arms off me and politely suggested he not do that. Ah, who am I kidding. I swore up a storm and tried to scare the living crap out of him. "It’s a concert," right?

I don’t want to make it sound like I had a bad time. I also don’t know why I seemed to be exposed to repeated throat injury. The concet was awesome and I had a good vantage point throughout. Those were just the little annoying things that I’m telling you about just to spice up the story a bit. Otherwise, it would be a pretty short story! "I went to a concert. I had a good time. FIN!"

Anyway, there you have it. Story time is over.