Posts Tagged ‘Lord of the Rings’
12 items.
Acceptable alternate punchlines would also include:
“Whad’da think?”
“I think that ain’t tobacco in that pipe you’re smoking.”
OR
“Whad’da think?”
“I think I’m gonna have nightmares trying to figure our where you stashed that hat this entire time.”
Thank you very much!
So here’s to another week of exploiting my nerdy obsessions. I even snuck in a little Lord of the Rings. Isn’t that nice?
So what’s next? Ah, yes. Harry Potter. I, along with the rest of the mindless drones plan on seeing The Chamber of Secrets tonight. Is it wrong to admit I like this franchise? I enjoyed about 80% of the last one. The remaining 20% sat there loathing director Christopher Columbus for unleashing the holy terror of the Home Alone movies and Bicentennial Man onto the world. What did we ever do to you, Chris?!
I never read any of the Harry Potter books before seeing the movie. But I thought the movie was good enough to make me want to start reading them. I think that’s a pretty good indication of quality.
Anyway, Harry Potter jokes here Monday. Do come back.
I ran into a spot of bad luck last night. On a tip from the crew over at Troy’s Bucket, I swung by my local Toys ‘R Us to purchase a copy of Episode II on DVD. Word on the street is that they were letting it go for a mere $9.99.
Yes, I know I’ve spoken about the sanctions on cool purchases, but this price probably wouldn’t have lasted much longer. But when you make your love ones purchase nerd artifacts as presents, they’ll be a lot less happy knowing they could have saved ten bucks two weeks earlier. I decided to save them the frustration.
Anyway, I bring the movie home tonight, unwrap it – then notice it’s the FULL SCREEN version. NOT wide screen like any cineophile with discerning taste would demand. No. It was crappy, pan-and-scan. I felt like a total chump. I’m usually more observant of these kinds of things. I guess I must have been blinded by the price tag. It just goes to show, kids. ALWAYS CHECK THE LABEL!
So of course I’m going to take it back and demand my widescreen version. Let’s hope the big, goofy giraffe is understanding.
The funny thing about this story is that my friend Nick e-mailed me earlier this week and shared a story where the exact same thing happened to him when he bought Spider-Man at Target. Ladies and gentlemen, we’re both college-educated individuals. You’d think we’d do better at simple reading. Nick was an English major, for crying-out-loud.
It is my opinion that retailers need to stick the full screen and wide screen versions of movies AS FAR AWAY FROM EACH OTHER AS POSSIBLE. Treat them like they were just divorced. Use the VHS copies like they were kids used for leverage and stick them in the middle so we know where the dividing line is. Turn left for quality. Turn right for a version that’s just as good as anything you’ll see on TBS.
For the love of God, I don’t know why anyone in their right mind would choose the full screen version. It’s like buying beer without alcohol in it. Don’t tell me you drink it for the taste!
QUICK PLUG: I almost forgot, but everyone needs to swing by Unmentionables. Protege108th was cool enough to sneak our characters into the background of his latest strip and I promised I would give him a shout-out.
It’s a good comic. If you’re in the loop at all, you know that already.
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Today’s strip sprang from real events in my life this weekend. Anticipating the release of The Two Towers this week, Jared and I promised to sit down and watch The Fellowship of the Ring to prime us for the next installment. Ironically, neither of us own the movie. We’re both holding out for Christmas. So off to our local Blockbuster we went.
And it’s no exaggeration about what’s written on the box. It really did say “Rated PG-13 for epic battles and some scary moments”. We joked about if the movie were just slightly less epic, they would have gotten away with a PG. This made me thinking about how the MPAA comes to these inane conclusions when they rate films.
Personally, I think the MPAA is antiquated in its practices. Their friendly “labels” end up stifling artists who are under the gun from studios to make more “family-conscious” products. And R rating these days is just as bad as an NC-17. It’s considered financial suicide. This approach is the loudest indicator that MPAA ratings are meaningless. They do nothing to indicate the content of movies when studios kowtow to the system and mold their pictures around them. The end results are films made for adults, instead replaced by dumbed down versions designed to rope in the disposable income of pubescents. Quite frankly, it’s insulting and a little sad that studios would place so much stake into such an obviously flawed system.
Now I’m not advocating sex and violence just for the sake of it, but I can’t count the number of times I walked away from a movie that was PG-13 movie disappointed that it didn’t explore more adult themes or situations. None come to mind at the moment, but I’ve had this experience too many times to recall.
:: end rant ::
I lost the battle of wills this weekend with Cami and ended up seeing Maid in Manhattan. What a steaming pile that movie is. I was going to do a strip on it, but I thought I couldn’t top how unintentionally funny this flick is and to let sleeping dogs lie.
For one thing, Ralph Finnes isn’t someone anyone would want to be with. At least, not the way he acts in this film. Chalk has more personality. I wan to unload further on the movie, but after spending most of the weekend socializing with a few different groups, I’ve exhausted my hate-tanks in my thorough dismissal of the experience. I can’t go through it again.
What really burns my gravy is that this movie beat out Nemesis by, like $200,000 dollars and came in #1 with something like $19 million. They said it’s J-Lo’s biggest opening to date. I guess we can all look forward to more watered down “You can do it, ladies!” material from the future Mrs. Affleck.
In linkable news, you may want to check out the sites of a few more friends I made. The Hardcore Empire (not as dirty as it sounds), Funny Bunny, (bunnies are cute!), and No 4th Wall To Break (classic).
Those first two have a lot of pop-up ads, but that shouldn’t dissuade you from checking them out. No 4th Wall To Break is slowly becoming one of my surrealist favorites. Play nice and tell ’em Tommy sentcha!
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No doubt most of you are going to see The Two Towers tonight (that is, if you already aren’t recovering from a midnight showing). I’m really looking forward to seeing it. After watching the first one over the weekend, I am sufficiently amped up.
I’m having fun this week with the Lord of the Rings, in case you couldn’t tell. It’s easy strip material and I know of at least one LOTR fan site that’s noticed my efforts. But I lost the link to it, so… damn.
Cutting the rants short today so I can detail a few plans I have for the site. Stay tuned for some new improvements including a new poll that will be over on the right hand side and also some additions to the Bonus Materials page. Jared put together something right dandy for it.
Speaking of our resident mystery man, he’s back in the house. So I’m going to let him do a little gum-flappin’.
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Today’s strip has to do with a little bit of industry news. If you haven’t heard by now, Peter Jackson, the director of The Lord of the Rings trilogy has signed on with Universal to do a remake of the 1933 classic King Kong. For more details on the story, read this item here.
To be fair, this odd choice for a follow-up project didn’t completely come out of nowhere. King Kong is a project that has been on Jackson’s back burner since 1997 when it was shelved by Universal so as not to compete with Disney’s Mighty Joe Young or Sony’s Godzilla rehash.
I don’t doubt that Jackson will make an excellent movie. And if he’s got his LotR W.E.T.A team behind him (which looks likely), I’m sure the effects will be astounding.
But still, don’t you think you would take a little time off before trying to update one of the most beloved monster movies in cinematic history. I mean, if they screw this up, that’s a pretty big strike against him. Does anyone remember the 1976 version starring Jeff Bridges and Jessica Lange? Okay. Well, maybe you do. But do you think anyone was standing around ASKING for that picture to be made?
With that out of the way, I wanted to move on to some business involving the site. Recently there’s been an influx of fan art and cameo appearances that you can check out in full detail on the Bonus Materials page.
I mentioned how Aric from Fish Strips is putting together an epic storyline featuring a lot of my pals in the community, but Beaner from Troy’s Bucket must have been sweating bullets when he put together this bad boy featuring over cameo appearances
I want to send a special shout out to my good friend Dave (just Dave) who put together a killer guest strip a few weeks ago. Dave contacted me to let me know that he has just started his own strip called Taking the Bi-Pass. He has only the first strip up right now, but take my word for it, this is one you’re going to want to bookmark and check often. If you don’t believe me, check out his extra bit of fan art that picks up where his guest strip left off!
The last bit of news I’ll mention is the rather grim message that was left over at No Pants Tuesday yesterday. Visitors to Zach’s site were led to believe he had died due to choking on a pizza roll. I would call everyone’s attention to yesterday’s date and give Zach a hearty pat on the shoulder.
…you know. To dislodge that pizza roll…
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Aug22
I think the more savvy among us are aware that the DVD market is often ledden with scams designed to extract your last home-entertainment dollar. Movies are released then re-released with “extra bonus footage!” and “double secret extra hidden footage!” that keeps you coming back for more. By now, I think there are at least 94 different editions of the American Pie movies.
That said, you have no one to blame but yourself if you wind up purchasing The Lord of the Rings: The Two Towers when it comes out on DVD this coming Tuesday. They might as well call that the “Sucker Edition” when you consider all the cool extra stuff they’ll insert with the Platinum Series Extended Edition in November.
Honestly, I’ll probably stay away from even that and wait until after Return of the King since they’ll probably bundle all of the Platinum Series together with a special collectors edition hollow bust of Sean Astin’s head that you’ll be able to carry around like a thermos.
I’m looking forward to that…
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Part of me feels like I should apologize for today’s strip, while the other part of me can’t stop giggling at its absurdity.
Hey, if nothing else – I sent you into the weekend with an endearing image!
You’ve probably heard by now that New Line is planning on re-releasing the first two installments of Peter Jackson’s Lord of the Rings trilogy before the release of Return of the King – the final installment.
The butt-numb-a-thon won’t happen everywhere – just a handful of markets and it is generally considered more of a publicity stunt to generate buzz about RotK than anything else.
That’s a damn shame. I wish more theaters were getting the trilogy in one fell swoop. Sure, it would take endurance. But if there was ever a group of people who could tolerate staring into space, stewing in their own butt juices, it’s Tolkien fans.
That, or Deadheads.
Ooo… I’m gonna get some mail for that one! Just kidding, my little Cherry Garcias!
I’m really looking forward to the Labor Day weekend. Tomorrow I have an afternoon wedding to attend and a bachelor party immediately following!
On Sunday I’m going out to lunch with my parents and dinner with a bunch of friends. Why? Because on Monday, it will be CAMI’S BIRTHDAY! I’m sure I will repeat it on the first, but it never hurts to send birthday greetings ahead of time!
There will also be a few layout changes when you come back to the site on Monday, so get ready for that!
I hope everyone has a great weekend. Sorry about all the ass in today’s comic…
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This is the first of a three-part story arc celebrating The Return of The King and the gluteal fortitude it will require to sit through it.
I’m really looking forward to the film, but Cami is dragging her heels. I can’t understand why. She said she didn’t like The Fellowship of The Ring (understandable considering its lengthy exposition), but she admitted to actually enjoying The Two Towers. This is like The Matrix Revolutions all over again. Well, I hope not literally…
I think Cami doesn’t have a problem with the movies, per se. But has an aversion to the extreme displays of nerdery on the opening nights of these kinds of fan boy movies. I swear we saw a guy who looked exactly like Gandalf when we went to see The Two Towers last year.
I’ll probably end up playing The Guilt Card. Cami made me go see Something’s Gotta Give on Sunday night. Fair is fair.
Truth be told, the movie wasn’t that bad. It was very sharply written and well directed. Although I take issue with the kind of environments writer/director Nancy Meyers tends to place her characters in.
All of the people in her films are very rich and have impeccable taste. Their houses are spotless and look like they’ve sprung to life from the pages of an interior decorating magazine. If you peek into the kitchen of any one of these individuals, you’ll often find copper pots hanging from some kind of rack over an island. I like to call her work “The Copper Kettle Comedies”. Just turn to The Father of the Bride 1 and 2, the 1998 Parent Trap remake and What Women Want for the proof.
As far as Something’s Gotta Give is concerned, I liked the performances. As always, Jack Nicholson is the reason to go. It’s fun to watch him playing off his aging Lothario role. He shows a great deal of vulnerability in his performance. You can tell his characters thoughts on growing older are issues Jack has dealt with in his own experience.
One thing I can’t get over is how many older couples there were in the audience. This film is definitely skewing older. You could smell the Brill cream and rose perfume in the air. I think we were the youngest couple in the place.
During the scenes where Jack and Diane Keaton were kissing, cavorting or being intimate, I was immediately taken out of the picture. My attention kept turning to all of the older people in the crowd and wondering what they thought. Every time the two actors kissed, it was almost if I could hear them thinking “Oh, how nice to see people *our age* getting it on in the movies!” or something to that effect. I surmise this must have been what it felt like to sit in on a screening of Cocoon when it first came out. I know seeing Diane West naked is an image that’s going to stick with me for a long while – and not in a good way. What is up with Jack pairing up with older actresses who are stripping down to their birthday suits? He did it to us last year with Kathy Bates in About Schmidt, and now this?
I’m being more harsh on the movie than I should be. There really isn’t a lot to be critical over. If you can’t get into Return of the King on Wednesday, go see Something’s Gotta Give. It’s a very smart, mature picture that you’ll feel good about seeing afterward. Honest.
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Part of me feels that I need to move away from The Return of The King and start making fun of some other films ripe for parody. I have jokes for Mona Lisa Smile and Cheaper By The Dozen waiting on deck, itching for an opportunity to show you what they’ve got. It’s like sending in a closer during the World Series.
Just a quick note about Return of The King that brought a smile to my face. It’s 3 day weekend take was almost $74 million. It’s closest competitor was Mona Lisa Smile and it only took $12 million.
[The rest of this post was lost when the site was moved to WordPress in January 2009 – Tom]
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Much like Chris Tucker seems only able to perform in Rush Hour movies, Orlando Bloom seems only capable of taking a role where the brandishing of antiquated weaponry is a requirement. Be it longbow, sword or musket – Bloom is your man!
It’s a fairly commonplace assertion that Bloom has cast himself in the mold of a modern Errol Flynn – having taken roles in The Lord of the Rings trilogy, Pirates of the Caribbean and it’s sequels, Troy and Kingdom of Heaven. I don’t think is a totally negative thing to aspire to. Quite frankly, the movies are sorely lacking in brave adventure and derring-do. If someone were to come along and revitalize the persona, why not Bloom?
Okay, he’s a little bit pretty. Alright, not just pretty – but MAN pretty. Not the kind of rakish rouge you would expect to swing in from a rope and save you. But I suppose you take what you get.
I’ve been very interested in seeing Elizabethtown since I first saw the trailers. This is one of those movies where I thought it came out two weeks ago and then was really disapointed when it didn’t. Then I thought it came out again last week and was disapointed again. I really need to read the one-sheet posters for release dates much closer.
I’m excited pretty much because any movie with Cameron Crowe’s name on it is a "must-see" in my book. Between Say Anything…, Singles and Almost Famous, the man’s bitter-sweet storytelling hits me right where I live. I can do without Jerry Maguire and Vanilla Sky, but that’s why pencils have erasers, right?
I found it curious to learn that Crowe had Bloom in mind from the onset as his protagonist. When it looked like Bloom couldn’t do the role, he brought on another man pretty up-and-comer Ashton Kutcher to fill the role. I think this would have made the movie much less interesting for me. Good think Crowe thought Kutcher didn’t have any chemistry with Kirsten Dunst and fired him. Then again, cardboard boxes have more chemistry than Kirsten Dunst, so maybe it was just wish fulfillment on Crowe’s part to dump Kutcher when Bloom became available.
Elizabethtown is interesting in that I think it provides Bloom an opportunity to prove something he hasn’t tried before. That’s always exciting.
:: switching gears ::
I would be remiss if I didn’t take this opportunity to again mention that I will stop selling all t-shirts, hoodies and baby doll tees from the store on October 31. Leave a note here now means that it will stay up until Monday. That’s what they call "saturation," kids.
At any rate, three of the designs will be retired forever. So if you want "Under Construction," "Emerging" or "Truman in a Purse" now is the time to get them. After the 31st, the won’t be available ever again!
As for the other shirts – they’ll come back at some point, I just don’t know when. So maybe you’re thinking someone might enjoy a "Spoiler" t-shirt for a November birthday or maybe for the holidays. Best to grab them now because I don’t know if I can make them available by then.
I need to let you know that part of the reason I’m closing off this section of the store is so I can get caught up on orders. But the bigger reason is so I can begin work on a new book collecting the first year of Theater Hopper strips.
I’m having some trouble trying to decide how to distribute the information. Whether it’s one large book about 180 pages and retailing for $20 or splitting the content into two volumes of 90 pages each with the release dates spaced apart and retailing for $10.
There has been some debate about it in the THorum with more specifics than I can get into here. There is also a poll attached. I’d love to hear your feedback if you consider yourself someone interested in buying a Theater Hopper book. If you’re not comfortable posting in the THorum, I am also receptive to e-mails.
Thanks.
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Due to the technical difficulties that prevented me from doing a strip on Wednesday, I haven’t really picked up a pencil since completing Monday’s strip. I feel a little rusty! Remember kids, that’s why it’s important to draw every day.
Anyway, feeling like I tried to put a lot into today’s comic and I have stayed up well past my bed time, this won’t be much of a blog. Just take heart in the fact that I have my new 19" flat screen LCD Samsung monitor and I love it. I love it enough to post pictures of it on the internet for you to ogle at:
I always get really self-conscious drawing celebrities. You’d think for a comic about movies and pop-culture, I would have a more refined sense of caricature. Nope, not really. I maintain that pretty much all of my character designs are the same, I just give them different haircuts.
I ∗do∗ think my rendition of Cameron Crowe turned out pretty well. But does that play to anyone who isn’t a cinephile? I mean, how familiar is the general population with the physically appearance of a director? I mean if he isn’t Spielberg, Scorsese or Hitchcock?
At any rate, I’ll be back later with a more thorough blog. In the meantime, why don’t you vote for Theater Hopper at Webcomics List to see my sketch of Legolas from The Lord of the Rings trilogy? I think that one came out pretty nice. Legolas of course being the filter through which I view all of Orlando Bloom’s subsequent roles.
Enjoy!
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