Major kudos to Cami for giving me the idea for today’s strip. This, of course came after viewing Anger Management. So utterly dissapointed were we by Adam Sandler’s latest offering, he may have completely lost us as fans.
It’s almost shameful that we helped contribute to it’s near $45 million dollar take this weekend. To put the accomplishment in perspective, that’s more than the gross of the remaining top 12 pictures COMBINED.
To go into specifics of why the movie failed us so would spoil too much of the “plot” (snicker, tee hee). But I can say that the movie totally falls apart in the end. The filmmakers try to tie up lose ends in a pretty, little package. The film is also littered with cameos dropped in for no other reason that to illicit cheap audience response. Former New York City mayor Rudolph Gulianni almost derails the picture when he shows up during it’s climax.
Even the regularly great Jack Nicholson couldn’t save the movie. Although I love movies that let “Jack be Jack”, I couldn’t shake the feeling that he was just the hired help. One couldn’t decide if we were supposed to interpret his character as insane or inspired. The script never lets him chose.
Of course, a positive view of the film was pretty much dashed to bits when the theater we were seeing it in suddenly cut the picture as strobe lights started flashing and an flat, automated voice stated “There is an emergency. Please locate the nearest exit.” Apparently, there was a malfunction in the theater’s security system.
Thanks again, Wynnsong 16. Rendered anally just like I’m used to. I would have asked for a refund due to the inconvenience, but I didn’t feel like being on the receiving end of a blank stare for 15 minutes. How ironic that I am there to see a movie about keeping one’s temper in check, and then be tempted to throttle the nearest movie employee when inconvenienced.
Maybe I should look into anger management classes of my own…
As promised, I’m taking another shot at 2 Fast, 2 Furious. This time, I’m focusing my “Laser of Hate”(tm) on star Paul Walker – An individual who reminds me so painfully of every jock I had to talk circles around in high school to avoid a fist-fight… it makes me sick. If Paul Walker spontaneously bursts into flames tomorrow morning, it won’t be too soon.
I hope you like todays strip. It took a lot of work for me to put it together. Of course, that was kind of the point. I felt Monday and Wednesday’s strip lacked a certain… I don’t know what… in the art department. I tried to raise my game a little before kicking off the weekend.
Cami said she liked that we share a bed in the last panel. “As opposed to what?” I asked. “The Dick Van Dyke Show beds of the 1950’s where we sleep in individual beds with a nightstand seperating us?”
That girl is cute. I dig her. đ
By the way, if you want to check out other instances where I’ve used the “Tom dreams of horrible violence gag” you can scope them here and here. We’ve come a long way, baby.
Did anyone happen to catch the 2003 MTV Movie Awards last night? It’s not as if you may have missed anything special. They tape the show in advance and the winners are released in the press the next day. By the time it makes it to television a week later, the air has been let out of the thing.
I don’t really watch for the awards. That’s just a toss off anyway. We all know the awards are a guise for getting a bunch of celebrities in a room and selling ad time. The reason I watch is for the comedy skits and parodies – which were pretty good. The Charlie’s Angels “Ass Coordinator” parody actually makes me want to go see it now. Mission accomplished, Drew Barrymore – you savvy business woman!
I’m starting to feel skittish about asking for votes for the Top 150 list at Top Web Comics (note, I did not include a link). It was pointed out to me in the forums that in the 16 strips since I’ve joined the list, I’ve asked for votes 11 times – sometimes twice in a day. That made me feel… icky.
I don’t want to get in the position of having to remind or beg or whatever for votes and I need to keep that in mind. So if you see me stepping out of line or if it becomes annoying to you, let me know. I need to remember that you guys don’t come here to be pestered for votes, but to be entertained.
I leave it at that.
I don’t have a lot to say in today’s blog other than it’s been one hell of a week and I’m glad it’s almost over.
I’m not planning on seeing any of this week’s new releases. Despite my never-ending admiration for all things Rollins, I actually WON’T be seeing Bad Boys II.
I have pretty strong opinion about Michael Bay movies. While you can’t deny they man has a keen visual sense, each one of his films pitches to the lowest common denominator. I won’t support that with my movie-going dollar. I doubt I could even enjoy it on an ironic level.
And besides, like I said, this week has been hell. I could stand for a more quiet, introspective affair. I need to see if Whale Rider is playing at any of the local art houses. I’ve heard good things.
I was surprised at the amount of positive mail I received regarding my Rollins affliction. Apparently there are a lot of other people out there suffering in the same way. It’s good to know I’m not alone. đ
Real quick: You might notice that the number of posters are dwindling. Slowly, but surely my stock of posters is ebbing away. You really need to put your order in now. Do it before it’s too late – cuz once they’re gone, they’re gone.
As always, if you want to pay by check, cash or money order, fire off an e-mail to theaterhopper@hotmail.com and I’ll tell you where to send your payment by snail mail.
I’ll cap the blog here for now, but maybe Jared will log in with more anecdotes about his new house. I enjoy our small exchanges about the commonwealth status of states on the Eastern seaboard, don’t you?
As part of this holiday weekend, today’s incentive sketch is an image of Jared wishing you and yours a very happy AND SAFE Fourth of July. Click here to view it!
In case you’re wondering what product I’m referencing in today’s comic, you can find information about it here. This isn’t the first time that the Theater Hopper crew has suffered injury caused by carefully marketed comic book movie licensed merchandise. And if you forgot, here’s a refresher.
Does everyone remember back in the day when Silly String used to be flammable? I know you’ve all seen that footage from America’s Funniest Home Videos where some dude is about to blow out the candles on his birthday cake just before someone unleashes a wad of Silly String in his face when his lips are inches from the flames. The dude lights up like a stack of dry twigs.
I guess these days the makers of Silly String learned it’s a good idea not to physically scar people for life and went ahead and made their product non-flammable. I was at least hoping to find a video of that footage somewhere so I could link to it. Oh, well.
Wanna talk about Spider Man for a minute? I know I do!
So Cami and I saw the sequel opening night and I couldn’t have been more excited. I’ll spare you the full-length review because I think everyone should go out and see this movie with fresh eyes, if possible – but I enjoyed it immensely!
You can tell that Raimi and company really settled into a groove on this one. The action sequences are very fluid and astounding. And for fans, there are tons of small references to the comics littered all over the place.
“Hey? Is that Dr. Conners, AKA ‘The Lizard?’ And isn’t that shot a recreation from the classic cover to Amazing Spider-Man #50?”
Oh, yeah. You comic book fans are going to love this one!
Just as the first movie was able to do, Spider-Man 2 is peppered with several great scenes. After losing his powers and landing on a rooftop, Spidey has to ride the elevator down to street level and has an uncomfortable conversation with the individual he’s riding down with! And when Doc Ock’s tentacles first spring to life, it’s truly a terrifying moment! (Be sure to keep an eye out for the Evil Dead reference).
I like how the story allowed for the secondary characters to breath a little more. Aunt May, Harry Osborne and J. Jonah Jameson all have a chance to really expand their range.
Of course it’s Tobey Maguire who sells it as Peter Parker and his alter ego. He perfectly captures the conflict and guilt he suffers trying to balance his two lives. The scene where he admits responsibility for his Uncle Ben’s death to Aunt May is heartbreaking and the core of the movie.
I don’t often see the same movies twice while they’re in theaters. At least not anymore. Even though I love the first movie, I only saw it once before buying it on DVD.
The sequel is everything I could have hoped for and more. MUCH better than the original, it improves upon it’s formula in nearly every category. Don’t be surprised if you see me standing in line to watch it again this weekend!
That’s it for now. For all my American readers, have a safe and happy Fourth of July! See you here on Monday!
It would seem The Apocalypse occurs with
Incidentally, I hope none of you out there take offense to all this Biblical reference. I’m not trying to goof on anyone’s beliefs. Just a little riff on all those improbable circumstances people say will bring about the end of the world.
You may not have known that there was a sequel to Baby Geniuses arriving in theaters today. You may not have even been aware there was even a movie CALLED Baby Geniuses. But somehow this franchise has ensnared the talents of Jon Voight, Kathleen Turner, Christopher Lloyd, Kim Cattrall, Peter MacNicol… and yes – Dom DeLuise and Scott Baio. All of these actors must have done something very, very bad in a past life to be sentenced to this celluloid Hell.
In case you’re not familiar with the premise of Baby Geniuses and its sequel SuperBabies: Baby Geniuses 2, the first movie suggests that “baby talk” is actually a highly sophisticated language that babies use to discuss the knowledge of the secrets of the universe with which they are born. Two doctors attempt to crack the code.
Wait, it gets better.
In the sequel, “the adventure continues with a new generation of talking toddlers. This time, the baby geniuses find themselves at the center of a nefarious scheme led by powerful media mogul Bill Biscane. Joining the babies in their battle against evil is a legendary baby named Kahuna. Part ultra-cool spy, part superhero, Kahuna joins babies Archie, Finkleman, Alex and Rosita in a race against time to stop the villainous Biscane from using his state-of-the-art satellite system to control the minds of the world’s population.”
That last part was taken directly from the SuperBabies: Baby Geniuses 2 web site. Now, go look out your window to make sure flying monkeys aren’t carrying away your car in their talons. Because right now, it would be more plausible than accepting a major motion picture studio – in this case, Sony Pictures – actually financed this (literally) infantile clap-trap.
Who’s over-reacting now?
If you’re looking for a little dose of sanity after that, swing into the THorum and say hello to our friendly community. Today starts another round of The Friday Five, so you should definitely check that out. The concept is simple: We ask you five questions and you answer them! Everyone gets to know a little bit more about each other and the world becomes a much friendlier place!
See you back in this spot on Monday!
I’m not becoming a broken record with the Ben Affleck-bashing, am I? I mean, I know I just got finished taking pot shots at him only a week ago, but I have to admit this felt right. I can think of nothing scarier than a Gigli sequel.
In any case, be sure to check out the buzzComix incentive sketch by clicking here and voting for Theater Hopper. You’ll see that Tom has learned his lesson, albeit too late.
I really like doing Halloween strips, but feel bad because I don’t get into it like some people do. I wish I could have done a full week of strips, but this one sums things up nicely.
Tomorrow I’m going to stop taking pre-orders on the Spoiler shirt. Yeah, I know the advertisement next to the comic says October 15. Ignore that. It’s an oversight on my part. A pretty stupid one, actually. It probably kept people from placing orders. Well, I’m making up for it now. GET YOUR ORDERS IN TODAY!
After I get this batch sent into the printer I’ll probably stop taking pre-orders for a while. I want to wait until the preliminary orders come back from the printer and try to develop a system to mail them out to everyone smoothly. In other words, I don’t want to bite off more than I can chew, so I’ll be suspending shirt orders for a while.
Don’t worry, though. Shirts will come back before the end of the year. Did I say “shirtS”… PLURAL? Yes, there will probably be more than one shirt in the store when it reopens.
In the meantime, I plan on finally hooking up the posters section of the store as well as creating a new area where you can request commissioned artwork. Everything from portraits, to Theater Hopper characters in funny situations, even banner advertisements for your site! I’ll do it all! Look for that in the future.
Cami and I are going to try and go to Ray tonight. Cami has heard some mixed reviews. Some people are saying that the movie isn’t as strong as Jamie Foxx’s performance. I’ve heard nothing but positives all around. We’ll have to check it out and see.
GUEST STRIP – VIC TAPLIN AND DING
July 12th, 2005 | by Tom- Comics »
- Comics »
- Guest Strip
(11 votes, average: 5.82 out of 10)
Big-ups to Vic Taplin and Ding for writing a Fantastic Four joke that ∗I∗ wish I would have thought up!
There’s is guest strip numbero dos in a full week of guest strip offerings while I am relocating headquarters to a new house about five minutes away from where I am typing this now.
Thanks to Vic and Ding for their contribution. I got a real kick out of their comic.
Hey! It just occurred to me that maybe YOU should thank Vic and Ding for their help this week by visiting their web comic! It’s called Blues and Twos and they’re just getting it off the ground. But bookmark it now so you can check it out later. I think their efforts today prove that what they have cooking will be good!
I didn’t have a chance to see Fantastic Four this weekend, but I was very impressed by it’s $50+ take at the box office this weekend. You have to assume that the aggressive marketing campaign had a lot to do with it. The reviews have certainly been less than kind. But with an opening that strong, a sequel will surely happen. Maybe they can find a different director and tweak the problems that so many have been grousing about. I’m eager to see it, but keep my expectations cautiously reserved.
The movie I’m REALLY looking forward to this week is Wedding Crashers. From everything I’ve heard, the dialogue is whip smart and Vince Vaughn knocks it out of the park. This seems to be a role written specifically for the charming schemer persona he’s been grooming since Swingers.
But I imagine there will be plenty of time to discuss the film in the next coming days. I have strips lined up every day until Sunday, so be sure to come back for more!
It’s kind of funny how time can change your perception of a movie.
When the first National Treasure came out a few years ago, I dismissed it as an American knock off of The DaVinci Code done on the cheap. To me, more notable than the outlandish plot was the excessive and blatant product placement in the film.
But you know how things change. A few years go by, the movie crops up on cable from time to time and you end up watching it. No matter how so-so my reaction to it the first time or how many time I had seen it since, I would always stop what I was doing to watch National Treasure on TV and⊠I came to like it!
Apparently enough people felt the same way because National Treasure: Book of Secrets is coming out on Friday and it looks like more of the same.
Thatâs not a left-handed compliment. Thereâs nothing especially wrong about National Treasure except that its mechanics are somewhat clichĂ© and its ties to actual history are tenuous at best. The further the original film progresses, the further it slides away from reality.
But then again â why not? It captures the imagination in a unique way, recasting history in a way you wish it were. The performances from Nicolas Cage, Sean Bean and Jon Voight are all amiable. Itâs really one of the top shelf âBâ movies of the last 5 years.
Cami never had a question about her affinity for the original movie. Sheâs a history buff â specifically Presidential history. So the plot of the second film â a Presidentâs book of secrets that contains all the top secret goodies weâre not supposed to know about â will be too much to pass up. Thatâs what I love about her. Despite her interest in actual history, she doesnât find fake history to be a detractor. I think she just likes a good story.
Concerning todayâs comic, I donât know if anyone will find the joke funny except for me. I donât know if youâve noticed, but Nicolas Cage seems to sport a different hairpiece in every movie and, for me, itâs starting to get distracting.
Obviously I encourage any actor to use whatever tool in their arsenal to inhabit the spirit of the character theyâre portraying. If it means gaining 50 pounds or wearing a fake nose, so be it. Similarly, if wigs help you find the essence of the character, go for it.
But Nicolas Cage is the exception to the rule for me mostly because his wig choices are so damn awful. I mean, you can SEE itâs a hairpiece from a mile away and some of them are laughablly stupid.
Ghost Rider, for instance. Or Next. Or The Weather Man.
Some of his hair choices have made more sense. Like the redneck bad ass Cameron Poe in Con Air or the neurotic Charlie Kaufman in Adaptation. But in those roles, he was actually trying to do a little acting. Throwing on an accent or performing in a way contradictory to his usual character. For his more recent action fare, heâs pretty much been playing Nicolas Cage. If thatâs the case, why would you go out of your way to look weird?
I donât know. Maybe itâs just me.
Be sure to tune in tonight for another live broadcast of The Triple Feature talkcast over at Talkshoe.com. Tonight weâll be talking about I Am Legend and itâs record-breaking box office win this weekend. We hit the air at 9:00 PM CST. Be there!
Apologies for the gross lateness of today’s comic. I had a problem with my internet connection Thursday night and couldn’t upload it. Then, on Friday night, my parents came over to the house for dinner and conversation after being on vacation for a week and I was further delayed.
I wish I had a large, profound blog post for you right now. But I don’t – which is a shame, because I would love nothing more than to talk to you about Iron Man right now. Cami and I saw it on Thursday night and LOVED it.
I have a review written for the movie and I will most likely post it Sunday. So you’ll get the full scoop then.
I could literally talk about it for hours and probably will during The Triple Feature podcast on Monday night. So you have that to look forward to as well. No reason burning everyone out on Iron Man discussion just yet.
Here’s to you and yours and hopefully you all have a great weekend.
See you here on Monday. Take care.
On Sunday I read the news that there was a huge fire on the Universal Studios backlot and my heart sank. I was shaken by it; I don’t know why. And then I felt ashamed by it because it doesn’t seem like there is a year that goes by that huge wildfires rip through the state of Califorinia, decimating homes and leaving families with nothing… but the thought of a movie studio burning to the ground! *GASP!*… It just felt very selfish in comparison. Nevermind the other natural disasters that seem to be happening with greater and greater frequency all around the world. The earthquake in China — even the F5 tornadoes that recently hit here in Iowa. And I’m worried about a movie studo?
I seem to have lost my perspective. Have I bummed you out yet?
All the same, the events on Sunday (ignighted by workers using a blowtorch, incidentally) inspired this comic. So art is born again! Can you see The Circle of Life? I have a few other comics that will be posted in a short storyline, so I hope you appreciate them over the next few days. It’s not often one gets an excuse to do a Back to the Future parody, so I’m taking this flux capacitor and running with it.
I remember going to Universal Studios in Hollywood almost over 20 years ago – and in no way is that depressing. I believe I was 13 years old. My parents and I had gone to Arizona to visit relatives for Thanksgiving and then we hopped a flight to L.A. as part of an extended vacation.
I remember L.A. being very plastic and very fake. And this was during the early 90’s, pre-grunge. So everything was awash in bright neon green and pink. It was like some kind of Revlon candy land. It didn’t help that we were there over the weekend the Santa Ana winds blew into town. We didn’t know anything about it and were almost trapped outside of our hotel with sand and debris whipping down the street. They had locked up the glass doors in front to keep the vaccum of the high winds from blowing them out. We had to get inside through a service entrance. It was like our own mini disaster movie!
I’ve not had a strong desire to return to L.A. since, but if I *were* to go there, Universal Studios would be the main draw. We went there first-thing when we arrived in the city and I loved it.
Going to Universal Studios – Hollywood is a much more stratifying experience than going to the one in Florida or even MGM Studios (re: Disney Hollywood Studios) because it’s so much more authentic and so much less of a theme park experience (despite the theme park elements). We didn’t run into any filming productions when we were on the back lot tour, but several of the outdoor sets were immediately recognizable from other films. I remember when our tram turned the corner into Clocktower Square from Back to the Future and the spectacle of fantasy colliding with reality was almost too much for a young nerd to handle. It was so cool.
I feel kind of lame admitting it. I mean, I’ve since traveled the world and I’ve seen amazing, indelible, historical structures. But I speak with such effusive praise for a movie set? For a facade? I have no excuse for it. Seeing Clocktower Square from Back to the Future had as much impact on me as when I was standing 10 inches away from “Sunflowers” by Vincent Van Gogh at The National Gallery in London. I felt like I was face-to-face with history.
Kind of says a lot about the truncated American time line when a movie set from 30 years ago blows your mind.
That’s about all I have to say for today. Be sure to check back on Friday for the next installment of this Back to the Future mini-arc.
Have a great day!