Archive for April, 2004
16 items.
There really isn’t a punchline to today’s comic. The whole thing is more of a conceptual exercise. The situation is the joke. I hope it goes over.
Aside from the whole “we can’t reach each other because we’re calling at the same time” bit, today’s comic is true to real life. Neither Cami nor Jared’s wife Patti are the least bit interested in seeing Hellboy. Women – What’s wrong with them? I’ve been looking forward to this movie for a long time. To me, it’s the first summer blockbuster of the year – and it’s barely April! Any film that casts Ron Perlman in the lead has my support. Jared and I are catching a matinee on Saturday.
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With that said, I need to get down to business. On Wednesday I announced that Theater Hopper is taking pre-orders for our first t-shirt. All the information you need can be found in the store. We’re taking pre-orders through the month of April. So for those of you who complain, “Gee, I’d really LIKE to buy a shirt, but I don’t have any money!” this gives you at least TWO pay periods to get your ducks in a row. Sit down with a piece of paper and a pencil and put a Theater Hopper t-shirt in your monthly expenses!
I should probably also mention that I dropped the price of ALL posters by a dollar. So if you were thinking of decorating your walls, now is a good time to get in on a good deal. Remember, every order from our store comes with FREE STICKERS!
One last bit of business: Cami and I will be out of town next week starting Wednesday and won’t be back until Sunday. So that means you’ll only get ONE new comic from me next week. I already have two guest comics lined up, but if anyone out there is interested in submitting material that I can post on Thursday, Saturday or Sunday, you can always drop it off in my in-box.
Looks like we’re going to have good weather this weekend. I’m looking forward to pissing it away sitting in a darkened movie theater! Don’t forget to set your clocks forward this weekend!
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Today’s comic is the last one you’ll see from me until next week. Cami and I are skipping town this Wednesday for a trip out to the Nevada desert. That’s right – Sin City. “VEGAS, BABY! VEGAS!”
/end Swingers reference.
Cami and I went to Vegas last year with my parents. We had never gone before and they wanted to take us out there. We thought it was a grand idea. That is, until our flight out of Des Moines was 5 and half hours late.
To make up for the snafu, the airline gave us free tickets back out to Vegas. They expired in July, so we figured we’d better cash in. So there you have it!
But just because I’m leaving town for a few days doesn’t mean that you shouldn’t keep coming back to the site! I have guest strips all lined up for you while I’m away. And don’t forget the forums. It’s a great place to talk to like-minded people going though Theater Hopper withdrawal! You can form your own support group.
By the way, did you guys know that I was selling t-shirts now? Yeah, it’s true. In fact, I’m taking pre-orders through the end of April. You should really pre-order your shirt right now so you’ll be sure to have yours included in the first batch of orders.
Wanna talk about something movie-related now? Okay!
I went to see Hellboy with Jared on Saturday and I loved it! In fact, I think my admiration for the film has only grown stronger since my first viewing. I’m seriously considering seeing it again before we leave town.
For me, Ron Perlman IS Hellboy. He totally makes the movie. He’s got a great “been there, seen that” working-stiff attitude that’s a real treat to watch. This, as opposed to the macho bravado of most other super heroes.
The effects in this movie are stunning – especially the puppetry and costume work of the main villain. At times things can get a little CGI heavy and some wire-work is immediately apparent, but it didn’t diminish from the overall wonder this film casts over you. It’s just a really great ride. If I have time, I might throw together a review for the bonus materials pages. Things have been sparse over there for a while.
I’m going to try and keep the lines of communication open as much as possible before I take my vacation. So if you want to chat it up, the forums are the place to do it.
By the way, you should check out our latest advertiser Maveric PC. They advertised with us once before. They liked us so much, they decided to come back! If you’re in the market for a top-of-the-line custom PC, these are the guys to see!
Tally-ho!
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Okay, so you know how on Monday I said I would be out of town on Wednesday and you wouldn’t see a new comic from me today? Well, I kinda lied. Turns out one of my guest strip guys flaked, so I had to improvise. That’s why you see the comic you see today.
Something close to this actually happened last week between Cami and myself. As you recall, Cami flatly refused to see Hellboy, but admitted that Walking Tall had piqued her interest. I thought it would be fun to rent another movie starring The Rock called The Rundown as a sort of appetizer.
I picked up the rental from my local blockbuster last Wednesday expecting to watch it with Cami that night. Well, it turns out she had a work-related function to attend that night. Thursday night wasn’t much better because she had a night class. And Friday… well, Friday we go out. So no movie watching there. Then on SATURDAY, she was out of town…
You get the idea.
It was Sunday before we were together long enough to watch the movie together. I was getting ready to pop in the VCR and Cami asked me why I hadn’t gone ahead and watched it without her when she was gone all those evenings. I told her I was saving it to watch with her.
She let out the most terrifying, prolonged belly-laugh I had ever heard. Totally spontaneous, half mocking and 100% unexpected. Gee, thanks. I love you, too.
We sat down to watch the film and she feel asleep. Let’s put it this way: The hassle of watching The Rundown wasn’t worth the late fee I racked up.
Anyway, that’s enough storytelling for one evening. Be sure to visit the site on Friday because I have a guest strip all lined up for you. And it’s for REAL this time!
See you all next week when I get back from Vegas!
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Well, I made it back from Vegas in one piece.
Today’s comic is part one of a three part arc. I’ve decided to spoil all of you by continuing the arc on Tuesday and finishing on Wednesday. Then, because I’m feeling EXTRA generous, you’ll get an EXTRA comic on Thursday! That’s right y’all! I’m doing 5 comics this week just because I like you so much! Consider it my penance for all the sinnin’ I’ve been doin’!
Actually, my vacation with Cami to Vegas was pretty tame. Stayed away from the casinos and spent more time lounging around the pool. We have the sunburns to prove it! We had a great time, but it’s always good to come home. It was very nice to see that people in the forums actually missed me! Aww…
I know this whole “spoofing the Ten Commandments” thing it a little bit tired, but I thought the device was appropriate considering the timing. What with Easter being yesterday and this sudden interest in all things Holy courtesy of The Passion of The Christ’s success. It pretty much goes without saying that Hollywood follows its own trends until it exhausts them. So expect to see more religious-themed movies and television in the next 6 to 8 months. Might as well jump on the bandwagon now while I can!
I’m gonna close here tonight because it’s almost 2:00 A.M. as I write this. Not a big deal since I’m still on Las Vegas time, but I have to be up in a few hours for work. So best to get my beauty rest!
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Almost forgot to mention that everyone needs to check out our latest advertiser Split Reason. They have a ton of cool t-shirts, sweatshirts and hats for you to buy. Free shipping for orders over $50! I’m thinking of picking up a few items myself!…
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Still playing around with the Ten Commandments of Movie Watching. I hope you’re enjoying it. Be sure to come back tomorrow for the conclusion of that arc. Don’t fret, though. I’ll have ANOTHER extra comic for you on Thursday!
Don’t have a lot to say, mostly because I’m still adjusting from the two hour time change from my Vegas vacation. It probably doesn’t help that I’m staying up late again to finish the comic. Cami and I went to see Henry Rollins do a spoken word gig in our hometown last night and he performed a set that went on from 8 P.M. to 11 P.M. It was a good show. He gave some stupid drunks in the front row a hard time when they wouldn’t stop talking. One of the dumb girls was even on her cell phone at one point. He called them out pretty well, but sometimes you can’t cut through a drunken fog with a flame-thrower.
I didn’t find out about the Rollins show until late Monday morning. It’s ironic, because when we were in Vegas, Cami and I were wandering around the Mandalay Bay Resort. They have a House of Blues inside and Rollins was going to perform there April 18th. I lamented we didn’t take our vacation one week later. We come home, and guess who’s waiting for us?!
I want to mention again that I’m doing pre-orders for t-shirts through the month of April. Things have kind of tapered off – probably because I’m not reminding you that they’re available. Well, THEY’RE AVAILABLE! Check out the store for all the details. Remember, I need a certain amount of pre-orders or else I can’t submit an order. These are really good shirts. You can thank the good people at Brunetto for their quality screen-printing for that.
More later if I can get to it. Right now, I’m bushed. If not, see you here Wednesday!
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So as you can see, I’ve rounded out the last four of the Ten Commandments of Movie Watching. I know there was some anticipation out there waiting to see where it ended up. I hope you aren’t disappointed. If anything, I hope you enjoyed getting an extra comic on Tuesday. Keep checking the site. You’ll get another extra comic tomorrow.
I wanted to mention that I finally got off my can and updated some sections in the Bonus Materials area. I placed last week’s guest comic as well as a couple others from when I went to New York for New Year’s Eve. You can check them out here.
I also updated the cameo page. This is where I hook you up with all the little appearances Theater Hopper characters have turned up across web comic land. This time through, there are two more to add to the list. Be sure to scroll down to the bottom on both pages for the new stuff.
I still have some art to add to the “guest strips that I’ve drawn” page as well as to the fan art section. I feel awful, because I’ve been sitting on some of this stuff for a long time. But it’s a start, right?
Beyond that, nothing much to say. I’m VERY excited for the weekend’s movie offerings. Kill Bill Vol. 2 predominantly on my mind. I’m also looking forward to seeing The Punisher, even though I know it will suck horribly. It’ll be a bittersweet few days. But I gotta support the boys at Marvel. If anything, I’m brand-loyal.
Anyway, I’ll be sure to hit all these topics more in the next few days. Until then, take it easy!
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How happy are you that I’m not doing another comic about the Ten Commandments of Movie Watching? I received positive feedback on the 3-part arc, don’t get me wrong. But after a while it’s like that “knock-knock” joke that goes on forever and ends with the person asking “Aren’t you glad I didn’t say ‘Orange’ again?” Regardless, I hope you’re enjoying today’s bonus comic.
I’m really looking forward to Kill Bill Vol. 2, but I have to admit it kind of snuck up on me. While Cami and I were away in Las Vegas, they started running the television ads for the flick. We’d be sitting in seedy casino bars and one would flash on screen. “Holy crap! Is that coming out next week already?” I would ask myself. And then a drunk transvestite would try to hit on me.
But I kid. I think it’s going to be a great movie. It already has a TON of advance buzz – all of it positive. I mean, c’mon! Was there anyone who saw Vol. 1 who DOESN’T want to know how this thing ends?
In random web comic news, Saturday Morning Breakfast Cereal has returned to a regular update schedule. Zach’s comic was one of the very first I read outside of the big names like Penny Arcade and PVP. I always got a kick out of his sense of humor. Check it out and tell ‘im I sentcha!
Oh, did you know we’re taking pre-orders for shirts? Maybe you want to put your money down so you’re not running through the streets naked. Cover up, man!
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The Punisher comes out today along side Kill Bill Vol. 2. Why Artisan decided to release their revenge movie on the same day as the highest profile revenge movie in history is beyond me. They should have released it on the same day Julia Roberts or Meg Ryan releases some chick flick. I know the thought of seeing something by one of those two actresses would make ME think of revenge. It would have been brilliant counter-programming.
I like the idea of a new Punisher movie – especially in light of the crap-fest that was the Dolph Lundgren version of 1989. The fact that they were able to produce a costume with the Death’s Head skull this time around already makes it 90% better than it’s predecessor.
But at the same time, I find myself questioning a lot of the choices they’ve made for this film.
If you’re not familiar with the story, it’s standard revenge flick material. Frank Castle is a former government killer. One day, mobsters murder his wife and son. With nothing left to live for, Castle takes his government training and uses it to hunt down and kill the criminal element – indiscriminately, where ever it may reside.
Originally, the character was created in the comics as a response to the escalating crime rate of the 1970’s. Fittingly, his base of operations was New York City, which – at the time – didn’t have the best reputation concerning the safety of its boroughs.
As The Punisher mythology grew, his anti-hero stature fit like a glove in the hardcore Big Apple. His all black costume was a perfect reflection of the gritty underbelly of a festering city.
Cut to 2004. A new Punisher movie is being made. Do the producers decide to capitalize on this visual metaphor of a decaying man cutting out the cancer of a decayed city? No. They move him to SUNNY FLORIDA!
Maybe I have a limited understanding of “America’s Wang” (geographicall speaking), but it doesn’t seem like ol’ Frank is going to have the opportunity to stalk rain-soaked alleyways when there’s a Cuban disco right around the corner. I’m sorry, but just the thought of all those art deco buildings, neon and HUMIDITY just turns me off.
THE PUNISHER IS NOT A SUNNY CHARACTER!
And not to give away too much of the plot, but Castle knows from the get-go who killed his family. A powerful businessman named Howard Saint, played by John Travolta, orders the hit. In the comics, Castle’s family was caught in the cross-fire of a gangland shoot out.
You don’t have to be a psychic to see that in the movie version Saint will meet his maker at the hands of The Punisher. But what this does is completely strip our protagonist of a motive. In the comics, the random nature of his family’s death leads Castle on a quest to wipe out the ENTIRE criminal element. But if you finally got even with the man that killed your family, wouldn’t that be enough? If Artisan is hoping to make a franchise out of this, they’re going about it in a lousy way.
Advance reviews are saying that The Punisher doesn’t pull away from some of the more intense scenes of violence. It shouldn’t considering the source material. That, at least, gives me hope. And while I had reservations at first, I think Thomas Jane will make a very good Punisher.
Although my hopes aren’t very high, I’m still counting on seeing The Punisher this weekend. If anything but to wipe clean the memory of that aforementioned Dolph Lundgren version, which still haunts me to this day. However bad this new movie is, it can’t possibly be as bad as THAT version!
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Who’s going to see KILL BILL tonight? That’s right, me.
My brother Lucas and I are going to get our dose of bloody Bill death this evening, then we will fight all night in an epic katana battle. True story*.
(Portions of these statements may or may not be true.)
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