This comic is a little bit mean. I don’t think it’s exactly fair to bust on Cami for wanting to see Twilight with the argument it’s for teenage girls. Look at all the dumb crap I’m into! I really just wanted an excuse to show Gary Oldman in that crazy wig from Bram Stoker’s Dracula. Man, that was a messed up movie.
In real life, Cami doesn’t have an interest in seeing Twilight. Although she has read the book for her book club. Incidentally, they’re talking about it tonight, I think! Small world. But she is not swayed by Edward Cullen’s charms (or his off-putting trapezoidal head). She’s taking the day off work Friday, so I asked her if she planned on seeing the film. She described such activity as “a waste of time.” Ouch.
My wife’s indifference to the movie aside, Twilight is one of those phenomenon like Pokemon or Queer Eye For The Straight Guy that caught me completely off guard because I’m not the target demographic. I had no idea how popular the books were or even that a movie was being produced because I am not – as pointed out in the second panel – a teenage girl. That’s fine. I’m just saying that I’m a little bit ashamed of myself for being so unaware. Call it willful ignorance, I suppose.
We were talking about a recent crop of videos that popped up on YouTube featuring a bunch of screaming girls losing their minds in Philadelphia last Thursday when Cullen showed up to promote the film in a mall appearance. I don’t understand this. They can’t be going so crazy for Cullen? What has he done. Nothing. The movie isn’t out yet. He could be totally awful in it. I guess they could be responding to his looks or maybe just excited that the lead character from their favorite book now has a physical form they can direct that energy toward. Whatever it is, it’s scary.
Joe made the point on Monday’s Triple Feature that Twilight is posed to become the next Harry Potter. That makes sense considering the supernatural aspects of their stories. But at the same time, I kind of doubt it’ll be around that long because Twlight doesn’t appear to work on the myriad of different levels that the Harry Potter movies do. I feel they touch on more universal themes and the more complicate politics of the adult world as much as they do on budding teenage romance and fantasy elements. I guess we have to wait and see.
Quick sidebar, today is the 900th Theater Hopper strip. Nine hundred. I say that out loud and I hear Jeffery Jones as Principal Ed Rooney from Ferris Bueller’s Day Off in my head. “Nine tyyyyyymes.”
I’m not going to make a big fuss about it beyond the fact that I appreciate a nice, round number like 900 and that it makes me excited to cross that 1,000th strip milestone. It’s not far off now. After that, I’ll really feel like I’ve accomplished something.
Then, nothing. Not until Theater Hopper celebrates its 10 year anniversary. Speaking of which, congrats to Mike and Jerry for reaching the big 10 over at Penny Arcade yesterday!
One last thing before I forget: To celebrate the release on Wall-E on DVD yesterday (c’mon – how many of you bought the film and ran home to watch it last night?!), I’m passing along all kinds of fun stuff from the movie that you can check out online.
Today it’s Space Fun Facts!
Just who is this Wall-E? And what is an Axiom? The Character Guide gives the low-down on all of the bots and even the human Captain! Wall-E and Eve take an adventure across the galaxy. Go beyond the Earth’s atmosphere with these Space Fun Facts!
I’m linking to the document as a PDF, so you’ll need Adobe Acrobat Reader to view it. Click here to check it out!
That’s all for now. Have a great Wednesday!
I’m being a little unfair to the teenage fans of Twilight. For example, when discussing the movie’s $70 million haul this weekend, my wife asked why I had to pin it on teenage girls.
Well, because that’s who is going to this movie. I haven’t met one guy who has said “Yeah! I’m pumped to see it!” I mean, girls are taking videos of themselves waiting in line for the movie and posting them online.
Just so we’re clear, I don’t have a problem with girls doing this. I’m not making fun of them for that. I just want to point out to every chick that’s ever dissed a guy for waiting in line for Star Wars or Lord of the Rings, you have no moral authority now.
Truthfully, I wish this kind of thing would happen more often. I was thinking about how utterly confused I was by the Twilight phenomenon until I decided, “You know what – good for them.” Seriously. How often does something like this come along for teenage girls? As it pertains to movies, I mean. People weren’t exactly lining up around the block for midnight showings of the last Sandra Bullock movie, you know? Romantic comedies shouldn’t be the exclusive domain for “chick flicks.” Why can’t they have a kick-ass franchise like Twilight? For some girls out there Twilight is to them what Iron Man is to me and I think that’s AWESOME.
Does that mean I’m going to see Twilight? Unfortunately, no. At least not right away.
But not out of stubbornness. More out of timeliness. I wasn’t prepared mentally to face the crowd that was sure to be there over the weekend. Now with the Thanksgiving holiday fast approaching, I’ll probably have to take a pass.
Still, Jeffery Wells over at Hollywood Elsewhere makes a good point. “Guys of all ages can go to this thing and learn (i.e., remind themselves) how to act with their girlfriends and wives in a way that will most likely lead to some action. This is not a painful-to-sit-through, young-girls-only movie. It goes down fairly easily, plus it’s a major phenomenon that anyone who fancies himself to be any kind of cultural pulse-taker is absolutely required to see.”
Suggesting the movie communicates a coda for behavior that will get you laid later on is kind of crass and not the message I was attracted to. Rather, being a cultural pulse-taker, I feel I owe it to myself to check things out lest I flap my gums further. So I may make time for this yet.
Cami is seeing the movie with her book club Tuesday night. So I’ll have to see what she thinks. If she likes it, I’ll probably try to check it out later.
That’s it for now. Be sure to listen to The Triple Feature podcast tonight at 9:00 PM where we will discuss Twilight and more.
See you then!
Major shout-out to Michael May from Eros, Inc. for providing me with this excellent guest strip today. Michael was one of the architects of the excellent musical version of Instant Classic last week and offer this guest strip without me asking as a form of thanks. He’s been a real life-safer. So thanks, Mike!
At the moment, I’m in transit – coming home from Emerald City Comicon in Seattle. Since it’s only a two-day con, I wanted to stay the whole time to take advantage of it. Flying out Sunday night didn’t appeal to me, so I stuck it out another day. Expect a full recap soon.
Since I’m out of town, we won’t be recording The Triple Feature tonight. Instead, we’re looking to record it on Wednesday. So stay tuned for more information soon.
Thanks again to everyone who came out to see me at Emerald City Comicon. I had a blast and I can’t wait to tell you more about it!
Talk to you soon!
I have to admit feeling a certain amount of pressure writing today’s comic. I knew I wanted to do something that continued to explore New Moon, but I didn’t know exactly what that would be. I knew it would involve shirtlessness, but I wasn’t sure how.
Added to this pressure was the unexpected reaction to Monday’s comic. Lots of positive comments, e-mails and feedback which I greatly appreciate!
We have a little comic ranking system below each strip and usually about 20 or so of you habitually leave your two cents and rank the comics on a scale of 1 to 10. It’s a handy little litmus test that I enjoy checking in on because it helps me know when I’m doing well and when I might need to freshen things up with the strip.
The response to Monday’s comic was unprecedented. As of this writing, it generated 52 votes with an average of 9.67 out of 10 – nearly perfect. I take that seriously because it’s one thing if a couple of guys give a comic a 9 or 10 star rating. But when you’re able to maintain that average across 50 people, that means you really did something right!
So, thank you! I’m really glad you enjoyed it.
Which brings us to today’s comic…
When I think about it, it probably makes more sense for Goth Jared to be excited about New Moon, since the sullen protagonists of the film fit so neatly into his world view. But I needed someone who was over-enthusiastic about the movie to help sell the punchline where glitter is thrown into Tom’s face. Admittedly, the punchline is a bit of a non sequitur. But it sounded funny to me.
In my head, a guy going shirtless to a Twilight movie counts as attending “in costume.” Following that line of logic, it would also make sense to cover yourself head to toe in glitter if you planned on attending as the sunken-cheeked Hollister model known as Edward Cullen.
For the life of me, I will never understand why Stephanie Meyer chose to upend the vampire myth and allow the vampires in her books the ability to walk around in daylight. Twilight would be a much more satisfying franchise if Edward Cullen’s head burst into flames every time he pokes that moussed-up haystack out of a window. By turning vampires into My Little Ponies, she has effectively de-fanged them as a menacing threat (if you’ll pardon the pun). And how boring is that?
I was combing the internet looking for the reasons WHY Meyers’s vampires sparkle in the sunlight and – as usual – Yahoo! Answers has the most hilarious dissection of the subject:
Okay, so the venom that’s supposed to help sedate you so the vampire can kill you will somehow turn you into the perfect, immortal model with diamond cells. With creative license, I can buy that, I suppose. But WHY do they?
Vampires are predators. Sparkling in the sunlight would tell your prey that you were coming. It would give you away. Now, they supposedly sparkle and are beautiful to attract their prey – humans – which would be attracted by your physical beauty. However, Edward specifically says at some point that people purposefully didn’t approach them because, due to instinct, they’re scared of them. And if they’re ungodly fast and strong, why do they need to lure their prey in, in the first place?
BEST ANSWER
It’s because Meyers doesn’t know what she writes. She seems never to have gone to 5th grade English lessons. Her entire writing contradicts itself at every possible opportunity.
I think Edward’s beautiful so Bella gets attracted to Edward, LUST. Because she never talked to anyone else, the love she feels for Edward is LUST, she only talks about Edward’s beauty. Nothing else.
Another thing abut Bella, she’s an idiot. Giving up her friends, her family, just so she can spend eternity as a 18 year old, is at the very least, disturbing.
I love you, Yahoo! Answers.
Does anyone here have any thoughts about why Meyers’s vampires are all glammed out? If so, leave your comments below. Until then, thanks for reading and have a great day!
The mounting sense of pressure I blogged about with Wednesday’s comic became very pronounced while I was writing today’s comic.
It’s been interesting tracking these last few comics about New Moon. You guys are very into it. You’re posting lots of comments and submitting ranking votes in record numbers. All good things!
The ranking thing I really blowing my mind. As if this writing, 101 of you ranked Monday’s comic and 92 of you ranked Wednesday’s comic. When you consider the average is about 20 people, it feels really good when a comic generates over 5 times that level of interaction.
So keep it going! Keep rating the comics! Keeps submitting your feedback in the comments section. I love to read about what you guys think, so let’s see more of that!
To that end… I feel a little embarrassed that I ended the arc this week with a very lame and obvious pun. But I at least hope you find it endearing. It’s nice to put a bow on these things sooner rather than later before they get drawn out.
I’m wondering if anyone here saw the midnight screening of New Moon last night and if so, what did you think?
Consensus among critics is trending downward. As of this writing, the film has been given a 29% rotten rating at Rotten Tomatoes. When you consider the original Twilight averaged about 49% positive, that’s a red flag. Obviously Twilight has a contingent of die hard fans. But now with New Moon, nearly 25% of the people who were on board with the first movie have jumped ship. Why?
I’ve read that star Robert Pattinson isn’t in the movie much – really only at the beginning and at the end. Co-star Kristen Stewart ends up carrying most of the movie.
Of course, this shouldn’t be a surprise to fans of the books. And certainly the movie has hit upon a piece of choice casting by adding Taylor Lautner as Jacob. So there must be something that’s keeping it from connecting with the critics.
Of course, this is entirely moot. The film will do just fine at the box office this weekend. Entertainment Weekly is already predicting an $80 to $100 million haul. Obviously they’ll film the next two books as well. It’s just food for thought. I’m all about realistic expectations, people!
Time to leave your thoughts in the comments below! Are you one of the Twi-hards who saw New Moon last night? Let us know what you thought!
Before today’s blog, I wanted to quickly remind everyone about the fund raising campaign for Theater Hopper: Year Three over at Kickstarter.
There wasn’t a whole lot of traction on pledges last week and that may have been due in part to the fact that I wasn’t promoting the campaign as hard as I could. We had a really great week two weeks prior and maybe it left me feeling a little too comfortable.
So instead of burying a blog post about the campaign below the main blog, I wanted to take the proactive approach and remind you of it right away.
Please visit the campaign page at Kickstarter and if you have any money to pledge, please consider doing so today. I know here in America it’s going to be a short week because of the Thanksgiving holiday. So if you’re thinking about pledging, sooner is probably better than later.
Right now we’re 35% funded with 38 days to go. Let’s see if we can get that a little closer to 50% before all the turkey and tryptophan settles in and makes us sluggish!
Now, onto the blog!
Today’s comic is sad, but also a little bit true. I mean, who wouldn’t want awesome abs – especially it impressed your wife?
The only piece of fiction in this comic is that Cami knows/cares anything about Taylor Lautner. Even if she did, what are you going to do? I can’t compete with the metabolism of a 17 year-old. Hell, I don’t think I could compete with Taylor Lautner even IF I was 17 years-old.
As it has been widely reported, New Moon broke all kinds of box office records this weekend, taking in over $140 million and coming in third behind The Dark Knight and Spider-Man 3 for the biggest 3-day weekend opening ever.
There was some outrage in the blogosphere early Saturday when it was reported New Moon shattered The Dark Knight’s opening night tally with $72.7 million, besting The Caped Crusader’s $67.2 million – and it did it on 342 fewer theaters than The Dark Knight.
Some of the outraged comments I read online were particularly hilarious. And although part of me kind of wants to be outraged along with them, to do completely ignores two factors:
1.) The increasing escalation of box office reporting and one-upsmanship. If it wasn’t New Moon that overtook The Dark Knight’s record, it would have been some other movie. If not by popularity, but by sheer inflation alone.
2.) New Moon found success by virtue of an audience that was made up nearly 80% by women. When you consider Sandra Bullock’s The Blind Side drew a respectable $34.5 million (the best opening of Bullock’s career, by the way) with an audience made up of nearly 60% women, it is (as Entertainment Weekly put it) “of the most lopsidedly female-driven weekends in Hollywood history.” Any way you slice it, that’s impressive. So, good on ya, ladies!
At this point it would be very easy to delve into the debate that popularity does not equal quality. But at this point I’ve taken a very live and let live attitude about things.
Do I understand the Twilight phenomenon? Do I want to see New Moon? Do I even want to see The Blind Side. The answer to all of those questions is “No.” It’s not my world. I don’t understand it.
I don’t mean to put that out there as an excuse for perpetual willful ignorance. If, for example, Cami wanted to see either movie – if it was important to her – I would go. My point is, these films are not important to me. Just as Transformers 2 wasn’t important to her.
Now perhaps as a “critic,” it’s my job to go out and watch these films so I can tell you guys what I thought and if you should go see them or not. But Theater Hopper has never been about film criticism in a traditional sense. My opinions are not based in any kind of formal education and neither are they driven by a motivation to fit within a social or artistic context.
Simply, they are what they are. I present them to you as a friend might present his or hers to you. No one is holding me to some kind of invisible journalistic standard that demands objectivity and fairness. So if I make the decision that I’m not going to see a movie for whatever reason, I believe I have that latitude- so long as I can at least attempt to explain what lead me to that conclusion.
Besides, considering New Moon’s 29% rotten rating at Rotten Tomatoes, I think it’s safe to say that the film is essentially critic-proof. What kind of influence could I hope to express?
I’m sure we’ll be talking about New Moon’s success and more on The Triple Feature tonight at 9:00 PM CST on TalkShoe. Be sure to join us live if you want to participate in the conversation.
In the meantime, you can always leave your comments here. What were your thoughts about New Moon? Did it live up to your expectations or did it leave something to be desired?
And speaking of desire, what about Taylor Lautner’s abs? Amirite, ladies? Leave your comments below!
GUEST STRIP – TREVOR MUELLER
December 9th, 2009 | by Tom- Comics »
- Comics »
- Guest Strip
(20 votes, average: 6.55 out of 10)
Apologies for posting this update so late today, but my schedule has been thrown off somewhat. Not only by Pearl’s arrival (and the changes to our routine that a new baby brings) but also by this monster snowstorm that has everyone in the Midwest hanging onto their hats. I think they said Des Moines received 14.5″ of snow last night and now it’s whipping around in 45 MPH winds. Fun!
Anyway, the whole Brazelton clan is hunkered down at home today and we’ve been busy juggling a newborn and a rambunctious 2 year-old. Hence, the delay.
Today’s guest strip comes from Trevor Mueller who has always been a great friend to the site. I’ve know Trevor for years. Primarily through the forum community over at Digital Pimp Online. But I’ve also had the good fortune to meet him in person a few times. Usually at Wizard World Chicago each year – and we’ve had the good fortune to hang out a couple of times.
Since I feel so terrible about posting his comic late, please take extra time to visit his site featuring his photo comic @$$hole! It’s always a good time.
Thanks again, Trevor!
I wanted to mention really quickly that things are looking up over at the Kickstarter fund raising campaign for Theater Hopper: Year Three. You guys heard the call on Monday and have been pledging your support in big ways! We’re now over 50% funded, which really makes me feel great!
But we have 21 days to go. With the holidays coming up, the time we have left will evaporate before you know it! Be sure to visit the fund raising campaign page and look over all the potential rewards you can receive by pledging to the project. Free books, t-shirts, 1″ button sets, original artwork and more can all be yours with your pledge! The sooner you pledge, the sooner I can send the books to the printer!
Again, sincere thanks to everyone who has pledged so far. I greatly appreciate your support!
That’s all for the moment. Now, if you don’t mind, I’m going to hold on to my daughter for a couple of hours so Cami can get some sleep!
Today’s comic is an almost word-for-word exchange we had with a cashier when we were checking out at Walgreen’s last Saturday. They had a bunch of New Moon DVDs sitting out on the counter to tempt you with a last minute purchase. For reasons I can’t explain, I grabbed one and decided to taunt Cami with it. The cashier mistook my playfulness for genuine interest in the franchise and what followed was a weird, slightly sexist one act play.
It’s a little bit difficult for me to convey exactly how incredulous the cashier was when Cami admitted she had not seen either of the Twilight movies. But she acted like Cami had spit on her grandmother. Prefaced by her comment about “never seeing a man appreciate Twilight,” we definitely got the sense that this conversation was being drawn on lines of gender.
It’s true that Cami has read all of the Twilight books. I remember she told me that they are a very easy read, profoundly stupid series of books – but impossible to put down. Trash, pop culture “literature” at it’s finest. Lucy Knisley had a great comic about this very phenomenon. If you take offense at the way I’ve described Twilight, well, sorry. You can tell me Iron Man is stupid and we’ll call it square.
I don’t exactly know why I’m wasting time with these “real life” comics when I should probably be talking about How To Train Your Dragon or Hot Tub Time Machine. It’s very possible that these series of events are funny only to me.
Of course, that doesn’t mean I won’t talk about How To Train Your Dragon or Hot Tub Time Machine at some point. You can likely expect a recap on Monday. I hope to see both films this weekend. After the week I’ve had, I deserve it.
I try not to talk about my employment situation too much because 1.) I don’t want employers who read this to get the wrong idea about anything and 2.) Talking about unemployment is a drag.
BUT, today is my last day on the 90-day contract job I’ve been working and I don’t have anything lined up. So I’m kind of in limbo.
Today is also the day that Cami is going back to work after having been on maternity leave. To say we are transitioning at the moment would be a gross understatement.
Our immediate plan is to keep Henry in daycare to maintain the semblance of a routine while keeping him socialized. But we’re going to knock him down to 3 days a week to save money. Two days a week, he’ll be with me.
That’s not a big deal. We did something similar last summer when I was first let go from my last full-time gig. I’m used to that.
The BIG change is that I will be watching Pearl FIVE days a week. As you know, babies can be somewhat demanding.
I don’t have a problem being a stay-at-home Dad and I’ve been fortunate to land contract jobs here and there since being let go last June. But I’m getting very tired of not knowing what’s going to happen next. I’ve sent out a bunch of resumes. I’ve gone on lots of interviews. I’ve come very close to landing a few different jobs. But the job market is such that there are just A LOT of very talented web and graphic designers in my area. So it’s hard to secure a full-time thing.
We’ll see what happens. In the immediate future, I plan on being a house husband while I get ready for C2E2 in Chicago in a couple of weeks. After that, I’m going to pound the pavement hard and see if I don’t get lucky. Not to drag politics into it, but I’m really hoping that the new health care reform act will help employers to free up some money and hire more people. It can’t come soon enough!
I guess there’s not much else for me to say today except thanks for reading and I’ll see you here on Monday! If anyone has plans to see How To Train Your Dragon or Hot Tub Time Machine, leave your comments below and we can talk about it!
Later!
DUMB ZOMBIES VS. GLITTERY VAMPIRES
September 13th, 2010 | by Tom(26 votes, average: 7.12 out of 10)
I’m not exactly sure what the Twilight movies have to do with the Resident Evil franchise, but Jared seems passionate about the topic so Tom really has no choice but to go along.
I wish I had made the genesis of Jared’s conviction a little more clear in the comic. But the gist of it is, “If we’re going to be subjected to ridiculous genre movies, we should at least side with the films that honor the films that came before it.”
Or something to that effect.
The Resident Evil movies are a complete bastardization of the zombie movie genre, but at least it doesn’t upend things entirely. Twilight treats vampires like the amalgamation of an Ambercrombie & Fitch fever dream filtered through the diary of a 15 year-old. It completely ignores the mythological elements that make vampires interesting in the first place.
Like I said, Jared’s stance isn’t exactly clear. I was really more interested on busting chops in regard to Resident Evil: Afterlife. The execution was a little sloppy on this one. Sorry. Righteous indignation is a lot more fun when you don’t have to explain it.
In my defense, however, my mind is pretty flayed right now as we prepare for our move to a new home in a week and a half. We’ve been packing for what feels like forever and our house has become a claustrophobic snare of boxes.
Speaking of the move, I recently put a bunch of my Theater Hopper merchandise in boxes and it’s intimidating the crap out of me. I’m really wishing I hadn’t taken my books out of the boxes they were shipped to me in right now. I got a couple of really heavy Tupperwares in the basement and I pray for the poor souls that have to move them into our new house.
You can help with this, you know? All you have to do is place an order between now and Sunday, September 19 in the Theater Hopper store to help lighten our load. All books are $11.00 and all t-shirts are $7.00 or less.
You might also want to look into following me on Facebook and Twitter. I’ve been sharing special discount code there that can help you save on your order. In most cases, the discounts pretty much cancel our shipping expenses entirely.
Response to the sale so far has been really, really great. So I’m reluctant to push the ball too far up the field. I don’t want to alienate anyone who has already shown their support.
But we’re reaching the finish line and every little bit helps. I’m very motivated to sell off as much of this merchandise as possible so I don’t have to move it into the new house.
Again, if you’re unable to make a purchase at this time, that’s totally fine. I understand. But if you can help spread the word about the sale on Facebook, Twitter, forums or in the comments section of the blogs you visit, that would really help.
Additionally, if you’ve already made a purchase and would like to leave a comment about it, you can do that under the “Store” tab on the Theater Hopper Facebook page. Testimonials are worth their weight in gold and sometimes help give people who are on the fence the little extra push they need.
Also, it totally feeds my ego. So… win-win!
That’s all for now. We’re in the dog days of Summer, kids. Not a lot of movie news to talk about. Did anyone happen to see Resident Evil: Afterlife and care to talk about it in the comments? Can someone explain the appeal of these movies to me? Let us know your thoughts!