GUEST STRIP – BRANDON J. CARR
December 14th, 2009 | by Tom- Comics »
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- Guest Strip
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When I started this who guest strip bru-ha-ha, Brandon J. Carr (formerly of The Kenmore and Weird Adventures of Unemployment) told me that inspiration had struck and he had an idea for a three-comic arc that parodied Avatar. He asked if that was okay. How could I say no? I have a diapers to change! A baby to burp! I haven’t slept in…! -SNNNNRRRZZKKKK! – Huh? What?! I’m awake!!
Yeah, man. Three comics. Sounds great.
So, anyway, buckle up, guys. Brandon is bringing the funny three times this week and it’s going to be infused with Avatar-goodness. Big thanks to Brandon for majorly stepping up to the plate. I don’t know about you, but I’m really excited to see what he comes up with!
I’ll probably talk more about Avatar later in the week. But for right now… HOLY LEGS!
Despite having a baby a little more than a week and a half ago, Cami and I actually were able to see a movie on Saturday. My in-laws watched Pearl for the afternoon as we took Henry see The Princess and The Frog.
We’ve been on quite the roll lately since we took Henry to his first movie – The Polar Express – about a month ago. At this point, we might end up seeing Alvin and The Chipmunks: The Squeakquel!
I’m just kidding. That will NEVER happen. We’re trying to cultivate a child with taste, people!
We probably started talking up The Princess and The Frog to Henry about two months ago. Cami had it in her mind that this should be Henry’s first movie because A.) It’s Disney and B.) It was their return to hand-drawn animation for the first time since… man, I can’t remember their last hand-drawn movie? Was it Home on the Range?
Anyway, it was hard to argue with her.
Our only problem is that we thought the movie was coming out much sooner than it actually was. When we realized it was coming out the weekend after the date we scheduled for Cami’s C-section, we improvised and went with The Polar Express, instead.
Things worked out fine on that front. Henry enjoyed The Polar Express a great deal and we felt like super parents. But as the release date for The Princess and The Frog drew closer, Henry would see commercials for it on TV and say “We’re going to go see that!”
How could we NOT take him now?
Long story short, Pearl arrived a week early, Cami was feeling better and we had willing baby sitters. So we decided to take Henry to the movie.
Of course, 30 minutes before we were about to load up the car and take him to the theater, Henry asked his grandma “Is it going to be dark in the theater?” To which she naturally replied, “Yes” and, at this point, Henry decided he didn’t want to see the movie anymore. After weeks of anticipation and him talking about the movie, we basically had to cajole him into seeing the film before we tossed him in his car seat and say “YOU’RE GOING!”
Things were fine once we got to the theater. Even though he got a little bit antsy near the end of the movie, he actually does a pretty good job sitting still and paying attention for a certain length of time. The fact that the theater was dark didn’t even enter his mind once we were seated.
As for the movie itself, the whole family loved it. Cami loved the songs penned by Randy Newman and gave high praise to Tiana – Disney’s first African American Princess. “She has the best singing voice of any of the princesses,” she said. “And she’s the best-looking!”
Well, okay. It’s a cartoon, dear. But I see what you’re saying.
Henry and I both loved Ray the lightning bug. Based off the trailers, I thought Ray looked like a crude stereotype of a redneck, or something. But the character is much, much more.
I also really enjoyed the villain, Dr. Facilier – who I thought had the most style and the best musical number in the movie. I’m sorry – but Disney villains are infinitely more interesting to me than the protagonists.
I don’t know if anyone here is on the fence about The Princess and The Frog or not, but I strongly encourage you to check it out. After years of making cookie-cutter animated films that felt like they were designed to sell toys first and tell a story second, Disney is in grand form with this one. To me, the whole film just felt right. It didn’t hit one sour note.
Maybe I’m in a haze just because I’m glad to see Disney do what it does best with the hand-drawn stuff. Maybe I’m overlooking something. But if I am, I kind of don’t care. Bottom line, they could have hit us with another Atlantis: The Lost Empire or Treasure Planet. But, instead, they did the right thing and gave us a movie with both heart and soul.
Did anyone else see The Princess and The Frog this weekend? If so, what did you think? Who was your favorite character? What was your favorite song? Are any of you thinking about passing on this film? If so, why?
Leave your comments below!
I don’t want to overplay the premise that Tom’s coma caused him to miss out on a bunch of movies for too long, but I really wanted to bring Avatar back into the fold somehow. I mean, when the movie makes half a BILLION dollars worldwide in only 4 weeks, it’s kind of irresponsible to ignore it.
I talked about watching Avatar a few days after it came out on December 21, so I won’t rehash all of the details here again. Seems kind of pointless. I guess you could say that’s another reason I don’t want to revisit all of the movies that came out in December that I didn’t do comics for on the site. Eventually things will balance out again.
Not much else for me to talk about today except to remind you that tonight is THE FINAL EPISODE OF THE TRIPLE FEATURE.
I’ve you’ve been a fan of the weekly podcast I’ve done with Joe Dunn from Joe Loves Crappy Movies and Gordon McAlpin from Multiplex for the last three years, then we would really appreciate it if you could swing by TalkShoe.com tonight at 9:00 PM CST as we record our final episode. We’re going to be sharing our picks for the Top 10 movies of 2009. But we’d also like to take the opportunity to have fans of the show call in and send us off on the right note.
Usually we record for one hour. But tonight, we’re going to play it fast and loose. The show could go on for two hours – maybe three. Who knows? It all depends on the turn out we see in the chat field tonight.
So set your alarms – 9:00 PM CST at http://www.thetriplefeature.com. Be there for the end of an era.
Thanks and I’ll talk to you soon!
Your ability to understand or appreciate today’s comic relies entirely on whether or not you watched Saturday Night Live this weekend with host Sigourney Weaver.
If you’re at all confused by the punchline, watch this video to be brought up to speed.
As you can see, I’m really aiming for jokes that will stand the test of time after this video’s viral status has faded.
I think I may have accomplished making this comic both topical and obscure at the same time.
Of course, last night was The Golden Globes. Usually I don’t pay too much attention to the Golden Globes because I don’t really care what the Hollywood Foreign Press has to say about, well… anything! But I was interested to see how Ricky Gervais would handle himself as host and was also looking for some kind of trend in terms of what movies might be nominated for Oscars this year. I was particularly interested in the latter considering that the Academy has opened up the field for Best Picture to 10 nominees. Could The Hangover’s win for Best Motion Picture – Comedy Or Musical have any bearings on Oscar nominations? We have to wait and see, I guess.
Incidentally, I live-blogged the event last night and you can read the entire transcript here. I’m using an application called Cover It Live which allows readers to participate in the conversation. I think it went really well. We had a really strong turn out despite very little advance notice. So I will definitely have to promote the fact that I’m live blogging for the Oscars.
If you don’t want to read two hours of snark, here are some of my highlights and lowlights from last night’s show.
- Mo’Nique’s acceptance speech – Maybe I’m just over the hype Precious has generated for itself, but the speech that others found uplifting, I found self-important and a pretentious way to start the evening.
- Martin Scorsese wins the Cecil B. DeMille Award – I kind of thought Hollywood was finished giving Scorsese gold watch awards after The Departed, but their montage of his films made me want to sit down and watch every single one of them in order – even Kundun. Of course, then they had to ruin it by making it a big advertisement for Shutter Island. Aw, who am I kidding? I’ll still go see it. It looks like a great Hitchcockian thriller and I was smitten listening to Scorsese talking about film preservation. Seriously!
- Glee wins Best Television Series – Comedy Or Musical – Sorry, I’m not a fan and you’re not going to convince me that Glee was any better than 30 Rock this season or any other. Where was all the love for prime-time musicals when Cop Rock was on the air?
- Ricky Gervais as host – I thought he got in a good dig on Mel Gibson as someone who “likes to have a drink from time to time,” but found him classless for plugging his HBO series at the end of the show before dashing away from the podium.
- Up wins Best Animated Feature Film and Best Original Score – Motion Picture – I was legitimately thrilled when I saw Up win for Best Animated Feature… until I remembered Fantastic Mr. Fox was up for the same role. (Maybe I should flip my last two picks for the Top 10 of 2009…) There was no disputing Michael Giacchino’s win for Best Original Score – one of the most emotional and effective of the year.
- Christoph Waltz wins Best Performance by an Actor In A Supporting Role for Inglourious Basterds – Another gimme. If Waltz doesn’t win a Best Supporting Oscar, I’ll be shocked. The man speaks 4 languages in his performance!
- Jason Reitman looked pissed when he lost Best Picture to Avatar – Go back and watch the tape. He looked livid.
- James Cameron speaks in Na’vi – During his acceptance speech for Best Director, Cameron came precariously close to the pretentiousness that killed any remaining good will I had for Titanic after his boastful “I’m the king of the world” Oscar acceptance speech in 1998. Also note that he didn’t thank any of the fans who helped push Avatar to nearly half a billion dollars in box office domestically.
- Robert Downey Jr. wins Best Actor – Comedy or Musical – I was convinced Matt Damon would win for his work in The Informant! That’ll teach me to bet against RDJ, who delivered one of the most entertaining speeches of the night.
- Jeff Bridges wins Best Actor – Drama – Another upset, as I was sure George Clooney would win for Up In The Air. I had a cursory interest in seeing Crazy Heart. Now it’s at the top of my “must see” list.
- Beards – Between Jon Hamm, Christoph Waltz sporting beards and William Hurt looking like Rutherford B. Hayes, what was up with all the facial hair last night?
Anyway, that’s my take on the Golden Globes. Did any of you watch last night? What did you think about the broadcast? What were your favorite moments? What were your least favorite moments. Leave your comments below!
Hey, guys. Sorry that the comic is late. But after live-blogging the Oscars last night, I sat down to work on today’s comic and started feeling terrible. I was light-headed and started seeing flashcubes like a migraine was coming on. I decided to rack out early to prevent totally wrecking myself.
I woke up this morning still not 100%, but functional. I went to work thinking I could plow through it before working on the comic over my lunch hour. I didn’t make it. I felt so terrible, I had to leave work early to go home and rest.
I thought I could still salvage today’s comic this evening before I realized that I left all of my drawing materials at my desk. So, even though I’m feeling better now, there’s no comic today. Just this Oscar roundup.
I’m not happy. This is the second deadline I’ve blown in a week and there’s no excuse for it except maybe “Real Life” is starting to catch up with me. It sucks not to have a comic ready after the biggest night in movies all year. At the very least, I hope you enjoy this recap.
Anyway, my apologies again. Thank you for your patience and understanding.
So, as we know, the Oscars were last night. For me, they were a wildly uneven affair. I thought co-hosts Steve Martin and Alec Baldwin were curiously M.I.A. considering how much ABC pushed them forward as a comedy duo unlike any other in their advertising. Having Neil Patrick Harris open the show with a bombastic music number – while entertaining – seemed out of place, as well. Shouldn’t – y’know – the hosts open the show?
I feel like I don’t have a lot to say about the winners themselves. There weren’t really a lot of upsets last night. There was a bit of a question mark hanging over whether or not The Hurt Locker or Avatar would take Best Picture, but I think The Hurt Locker set the tone for the show early on by snagging awards for Best Sound, Best Sound Editing and Best Original Screenplay. When they picked up the award for Best Editing later in the night, I knew it was in the bag. Films that win Best Editing usually end up winning Best Picture.
It was certainly a triumph to see Kathryn Bigelow win Best Director. She looked positively gobsmacked when she emerged on stage moments later to claim her award for Best Picture. Considering her ex-husband was James Cameron, the reward must have been that much sweeter.
It’s easy to be excited for Bigelow considering this historical context of her win as the first female director to be recognized by the Academy in this way. But among the other major categories, I can’t muster up much enthusiasm.
Jeff Bridges winning Best Actor for Crazy Heart was expected and long-deserved. Christoph Waltz winning Best Supporting Actor for Inglourious Basterds has been sewn up since last summer. Same for Mo’Nique winning Best Supporting Actress for Precious.
I don’t if you can say that Sandra Bullock was the most deserving for her Best Actress win in The Blind Side. I felt like the Academy was maybe responding more to the box office success of that film than her performance in particular. When Bullock asked “Did I really earn this, or did I wear you all down?” I bristled. Because it implies that she’s been giving great performances for years and has been overlooked. I know she was making an attempt at humor, but when compared to Jeff Bridges who actually HAS been delivering excellent performances for years and had been overlooked, it seemed shallow.
That said, I thought she gave the best, most emotional speech of the night. She really is America’s Sweetheart. It’s hard to hate her. She’s just been stuck in so many ridiculous romantic comedies over the years, its difficult to imagine her in another context. Hopefully her win last night will afford her the opportunity to be a little more selective with her roles. I mean, what other actor wins a Razzie and an Oscar in the same weekend?
Something that stuck out to me last night was the lack of musical performances for the compositions nominated in the Best Original Song category. Cami figured out that the reason why was because they needed the extra time to introduce each of the 10 Best Picture nominees over the course of the evening.
The economy of time made sense to me until we reached the the Best Original Score category late in the show. At first I was confused when a phalanx of dancers performed flips and high kicks to the score for Sherlock Holmes. But I was positively enraged when one of the dancers inexplicably started doing THE ROBOT to Michael Giacchino’s score for Up.
Giacchino’s score was the heart of Up and a well-deserved win for the composer last night. “Ellie’s Theme” not only serves as the centerpiece that plays behind the “Married Life” montage that emotionally devastated so many of us, but Giacchino expertly weaves it through the rest of the score. So any callback to that piece immediately takes us back to that moment in the film and connects the dots between the motivations behind Carl’s journey and the emotions he’s trying to bury. Having a guy dance THE ROBOT to this music seemed beyond offensive to me.
I mean, I don’t typically get this worked up over the Best Original Score category, but the dancing was by far the tackiest and most jarring piece of an off-balance telecast. If you want someone to blame, point your finger at show producer Adam Shankman. Who, shockingly, is also a judge on So You Think You Can Dance. Ugh. Let’s hope that Shankman isn’t invited to produce next year.
At this point, I feel like if I say any more about the Oscars, I’ll start talking in circles. So why don’t you let me know what you thought of the show and the winners. Leave your comments below and we’ll get a conversation started!
The following is a supercut of each of Bill Paxton’s lines as Pvt. Hudson from James Cameron’s Aliens condensed into one handy YouTube video.
Considering that the summation of Paxton’s performance can be distilled to roughly 6 minutes, I think it’s a compliment to him as an actor that he could create a character so indelible in our minds that people are still quoting “Game over, man! Game over!” over 25 years later.
When you think about it, there are very few protagonists that experience the character arc that Hudson does in traditional action movies. Most characters from that era were either superheroes or cannon fodder. Hudson was a little bit of both. Chest-puffing bravado at the outset, a pants-wetting fatalist after the first attack and a hero resigned to his fate by the end. In many ways, Hudson would act like we would in that situation and I think that’s why Paxton’s interpretation of him stays with us.
God be with you, Pvt. Hudson, you glorious coward.
Thoughts?
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