I don’t have a lot to say about this week’s strip other than it’s a bit of a slight against my retention capabilities. In truth, it is physically impossible for me to ignore any movie I go to. Even if it really sucks, I’m still likely to retain 90% of it and spit out quotes from it at inopportune and awkward times. Same goes for TV or really any flickering image. I think it hearkens back to a time when our Cro-Magnon ancestors were captivated by a dancing flame.

…must resist urge… to grab bone… and throw it into… air!…

I know there were some media outlets predicting xXx would stay on top of the box office for a third week. I couldn’t help but smirk when it turned out Signs was the winner. Granted. $14.4 million versus $13.7 isn’t a landslide by any means, but why anyone would expect xXx to garner repeat business is beyond me. What? Did you miss how that explosion happened the first time or do you really want to study it’s intricacies. Flawed as it is, at least Signs turns the screws a little – makes you think.

What shocked me most about the weekend are the new releases. The fact that such obvious junk as Serving Sara could come in 6th place while Al Pacino and Simone languish at 9th is appalling to me. I don’t have respect for the concept of either film, but Pacino is one of the signature actors of the last 30 years. Give the man his due, then banish the flick to the dollar bin at Blockbuster.

For some reason, I’m really geared up for buying National Lampoon’s Van Wilder on DVD. I saw it in the theater last fall expecting goofy fun and it delivered exactly at that level. Some call it the Animal House for the new millennium, but how many times have you heard that sound-bite volleyed about?

Truthfully, it’s just a good-natured goof. Ryan Reynolds plays Van like a collegiate Ferris Bueller. He’s the smooth-talking friend to all everyone wants to be. Why on Earth he would fall for the raccoon-eyed hack that is Tara Reid is beyond me.

Taking into account the gross-out gags, low-brown humor and abundance of boobie shots, the film should attain cult status in no time. I would be proud to harbor it in my collection.