Does Tom get what he deserves for calling an old lady a "battle axe?" You bet your sweet bippy he does! Kids… respect your elders.

An event not unsimilar to this one unfolded Friday night when I went with Cami and my sister-in-law Tara to see Brokeback Mountain. The critically acclaimed movie just opened here in Des Moines, but judging by the crowds, you’d think it was the Second Coming.

The lines were insane and the vibe in the place was just short of frantic. I’ve never seen so many people in our tiny art-house cinema. They were all there to see Brokeback Mountain.

We showed up maybe 20 minutes early, but we still had to sit in the 4th row. Pray for the poor souls who arrived in large parties trying to seat everyone together when only empty seats dotted the theater. Some patchuli dude with the sensitive-man pony tail had to flip on the lights at the front of the stage and ask everyone to scootch together. They had sold out that evening show.

As annoying as it was to be crammed into a tiny art house, I really enjoyed the fact that the movie was being so well recieved out here in the sticks. It felt like an event. Not quite a cultural watershed, but something thereabouts. I’ve read artcles by famous film reviewers who claimed that the "flyover" states would hate this movie on moral principles. We’re a lot more enlightened then the coasts give us credit for.

At any rate, before being asked to scootch together, Cami and my sister-in-law had left their seats to get popcorn. This left me alone with their coats on either side of me. I am now defenseless against the dumb-dumbs who want to claim the seats for their own. I had an interaction with an older woman almost verbatim to what happened in the strip.

"Are those seats taken?"

"Yes, the seats with coats on them are taken."

"And the one on the other side of you?" There is only one unoccupied seat and it’s my wife’s. Her coat is on it. The other seats are taken.

"Yes. That one, too."

The lady then rolled her eyes and kind of glared at me before stomping off.

Hey, I understand you’re frustrated that you can’t find a seat. But it’s not my problem, is it? Get here earlier next time and we won’t have that problem.

What I found so ridiculous is that she kept pushing the issue as if to say "Are you SURE those coats mean the seats are taken?" It’s not as if I walk into public places with extra coats so I can avoid human interaction. Although now I’m starting to think that’s not a bad idea.

Anyway, I just decided to take that real-world frustration and make fun of it. I don’t know if the bigger joke in today’s strip is all that great, so I decided to throw in extra smaller jokes like Jared being so excited to go to the bathroom and the fact that the old lady in the comic chooses to confront Tom over seats when there are several other empty seats available. More bang for your buck, I say!