Posts Tagged ‘Disaster Movie’
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I think if I didn’t make a joke about this weekend’s newest disaster flick, The Core, you would think that I was feeling ill.
Today’s comic reflects my opinion of the behind-the-scenes machinations that brought this atrocity to multiplexes nationwide.
The producers of The Core are about five years too late if they’re still trying to ride the wave of late 90’s disaster epics. What Independence Day wrought has long since subsided.
The plot alone is too ridiculous to take serious. It echoes a period in cinematic history where people thought radiation could make bugs huge.
…and this was scary.
The premise of The Core is that our government has implanted a weapon into the center of the Earth, using it to trigger earthquakes against enemy nations. Somehow, this “don’t fool with Mother Nature” brain fart causes the core to stop “spinning” (yeah, right) and then cause electro-magnetic super storms that ravage the surface. The only solution? To drill through the crust and destroy the machine with NUCLEAR WARHEADS, thus jump-starting the planet and returning everything back to normal.
I think anyone who buys a ticket to this movie should get a free swift kick in the ass with every purchase. Everything about this movie flies so flagrantly against everything we know about science..NAY! COMMON SENSE!… that anyone who aids it’s success during it’s theatrical run is effectively dumbing down the rest of the population by association.
Harsh words? You betcha. But it’s how I feel.
I’m very excited to go to Planet Comicon in Kansas City. I received an e-mail from someone else in the Des Moines area who said they were going, too. They even asked for a sketch if they bumped into me! That’s weird. Here I am prepping myself to get into total fanboy mode, and someone comes along telling me they dig what I do. Have I crossed the other side? Have I become one of… them?
Nah. I’m still gonna have Lou Ferrigno sign my forehead.
One last note: Aric over at Fish Strips is undertaking a huge new storyline where all of your favorite web comic all-stars are making cameos. Aric was cool enough to find room for both Tom and Cami, so you should check out his good work.
Aric has been laying low for a little while, but I’m totally digging his new direction. It’s good to see him jump back in with both feet!
Now, if only my character can catch a knife in the eye, I will know I have made it in life.
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Disaster Movie comes out this weekend and if you don’t think this movie looks like it was made for five dollars, check out the production stills on IMDB and get back to me.
I’m not particularly interested in ragging on Disaster Movie (I get more of a chuckle out of making Jared "the heavy" in this strip) because it’s like shooting fish in a barrel. But I was looking back over the previous films in this dire franchise and was trying to figure out the formula for it’s success.
Date Movie, Epic Movie, Meet The Spartans and Superhero Movie are some of the lowest common denominator films out there. They get trashed by critics and I seem to know very few people who watch them or enjoy them. So why do they keep getting the green light?
It has to come down to simple economics. Cheap to produce and released on slow weekends against weak competition. Even if the movies only stay in the theaters a week, they more than make up their production cost. Then it’s on to the next steaming turd of a parody starring a brand new cast of unnamed actors who will work for scale.
Say what you want about the Scary Movie franchise, but at least they kept some of the characters consistent throughout those four films…
This is a stray thought not really tethered to anything, but I was looking at the production stills again and was kind of admiring how quickly they get their parody to market on some of these films. Indiana Jones, Hellboy II, The Hulk – these are references to some fairly recent movies.
I would almost be impressed if the impact of these references extended beyond the recognition factor and were actually funny. “Hey! I just saw that movie a few weeks ago and now they’re makin’ fun of it! That’s amaaaaaazing!” It’s a parlor trick for the easily impressed. The cinematic equal of a big rock band coming to your down and saying "It’s a thrill to be back in… [insert name of town here]!” The people who “WOO!” in recognition of their city being named… that’s who Disaster Movie is for.
Gotta cut it short tonight. I’m feeling a little under the weather. Stress catching up with me perhaps. I was a little bit down in the dumps this morning with a stuffy nose and an itchy throat. I thought it was allergies. But now I know for certain that I’m sick. So I’ve got to drink my Ovaltine and go to bed.
See you back here on Friday!
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