Cami and I were actually excited to see Cold Creek Manor this weekend, but if its 5th place showing at the box office was any indication, the rest of the nation figured out its horrible secret just like we did.

The previews for this movie made it look like a classic haunted house story – which I’m always up for. Poltergeist, for example, is one of my favorite movies.

Instead, after reading several reviews, the plot was revealed to be some kind of country bumpkin vs. city slicker stalker fantasy in the vein of Cape Fear.

I’ll buy Dennis Quaid and Sharon Stone as the beleaguered gothamites. But casting Stephen Dorff as the backwoods tormentor is laughable. That guy is L.A. to the bone. I guess they cast Juliette Lewis as his white trash girlfriend – but hasn’t she covered this territory before in movies like Natural Born Killers and, well Cape Fear?

I don’t know if there would have been as big a backlash if the producers of the film simply fessed up and cut the trailer that represented the movie they made. But I guess Hollywood thinks they can still pull the wool over our eyes.

What the hell happened to Mike Figgis? Back when he directed Leaving Las Vegas, people were holding him up as the next best thing. That was a great movie, and he comes back with this crap?

Dennis Quaid will survive. He still has momentum from The Rookie and an excellent turn in Far From Heaven.

Sharon Stone? Four years after The Muse and Gloria, she still can’t pick a lead role to save her life. Here’s hoping her supporting performance in the forthcoming Catwoman will treat us to the icy sex queen we come to know and love.