This weekend has taken so long to get here, I can’t think of a better distraction than catching the new Jackass movie down at my local multiplex. This movie has “leave your brain at the door” written all over it in sloppy, backward letters.

Watching the TV show was always a visceral thrill. It wasn’t so much being impressed by their stunts, but being positively repulsed by them. Considering how much more leeway they’ll be given without network censors breathing down their necks, it should make for an extremely more amplified experience.

I think this is going to be a great movie to see with a big crowd. Think of all the gross-out movies of the late 90’s. Here we all are, sitting together in this darkened theater, squealing in unison at the site of someone getting his wedding tackle caught in his zipper.

But now this time it’s for real. There are no prosthetics. And instead of getting Mr. Happy caught in a flap, they’re tying it to a cinder block with barb wire and heaving it into a sewage treatment reservoir.

I should figure out a way to throw myself down the stairs and make money for it…