Tom

A fan boy for all seasons, Tom is the youthful exuberance of the Theater Hopper crew. Sometimes his passion gets in the way of making sense or having self-respect. Like when he insists on visiting the theater dressed up as his favorite movie characters or when he fantasizes about a romantic interlude with Iron Man. Don’t ask why he insists upon wearing a Spider-Man mask around time whenever a new Spider-Man movie hits theaters. Only he knows for sure.

Cami

If you look up “calm” or “sensible” in the dictionary, don’t be surprised if you see an image of Tom’s always-patient wife, Cami. She makes sense out things where there is none and her appreciation for Julia Roberts movies is a perfect counter balance to Tom’s geekier tendencies.

But a woman’s heart is a deep ocean of secrets. For example, who knew that Cami was once praetor in a nefarious cult dedicated to Adam Sandler? Or that she can, y’know… levitate and throw fireballs?

Jared

Tom and Jared have been best friends nearly all their lives and Jared is often Tom’s right hand man. He’s normally patient and kind, but watch out if you accidentally name-drop Ben Affleck in conversation! They were once contentious enemies for years!

No one exactly knows what set off their rivalry, but some assume that Jared felt grossly cheated after watching Reindeer Games and decided to take it out on Ben. In the time since, he’s assaulted him with baseball bats, giant candy canes and bees sent through the U.S. Postal Service. He’s even tormented him in his dreams!

But no retelling of Jared and Affleck’s epic war can overlook Jared’s battle against the nefarious Benbots!

After making one final attempt on Affleck’s life before realizing that the actor had matured with age, Jared has centered his focus on another up-and-coming actor who annoys him for no reason – Shia LaBeouf – and joined Harrison Ford in a team-up where the two of them beat the ever-living snot out of him.

Goth Jared

As you might have guessed, Goth Jared is regular Jared’s dark side. He’s not really married to the lifestyle though. He typically only turns up when people are talking about dark and mystical things or emo culture.

Charlie

Once a fierce rival to Cami during their high school years, Charlie left the Midwest to pursue a career in Hollywood. Working as a production assistant on Jersey Girl, Charlie met Ben Affleck and dated him for a short time. When Affleck fretted that the tabloid press would dub them “Barley,” Charlie broke it off with him – by hitting him across the face with his Best Original Screenplay Oscar.

Cami and Charlie have since resolved their differences and gone on to become good friends. Charlie is still single, despite wooing from the town nerds, who find her knowledge of geek culture enchanting.

Truman

A man’s best friend is his dog and that’s never been more true than with Tom and Cami’s sweet and loving beagle Truman. He doesn’t say much, but his loyalty has never faltered. Much like his affinity for piloting bi-planes, dressing like Justin Timberlake and passing gas.

Jimmy

Patient, trust-worthy, kind, chump. These are all words that describe Jimmy, the tireless theater employee. He takes Tom’s insults and jibes in stride and isn’t above asking for help in a tight spot. For example, like the time he lost his job. Why? Because Jimmy believes people are good at heart. Despite Tom’s consistent actions to the contrary.

Victor

From the cold and barren mountains of the Ukraine comes Victor Kresh – the fearsome manager of the movie theater Tom and his friends frequent. It’s been said he once cut off the hand of a kid who took too many napkins!

Victor’s stoic, authoritarian style would seem to put him in direct odds with Tom’s brand off offbeat wackiness. He once threw both Tom and Cami into the theater’s holding cell! But in recent years, Victor has let a lot of Tom’s transgressions slide. Some say he even has a crush on him! If that’s true, Tom has yet to notice.

Victor relies on his faith in worship of Balki Bartokomous to stand strong in the face of his unrequited love.

Cecil

Not much is known about Cecil except that he works at the same movie theater as Jimmy and Victor and is possibly Jimmy’s subordinate. He has only appeared in one comic so far, but we may see more of him in the future…

David

In the world of web comics, talking appliances are nothing new. David was Tom’s sentient, surly and snobbish DVD player who randomly came to life one day. No one else seemed to have a problem with it except Tom, who unceremoniously kicked David to the curb. He briefly found solace with other upright appliances from the world of web comics. But, unfortunately, David wasn’t long for this world. He was run over by an eighteen-wheel truck four comics after being introduced.

Dewey

An early Christmas present Cami gave Tom before the remake of King Kong hit theaters, Dewey looked like the ultimate pet. He got along great with everyone, but harbored a festering resentment for Truman and the two were frequently at odds.

Things went off the rails when Tom snuck Dewey into a screening of King Kong. It gave him all kinds of bad ideas. Thank goodness Truman was there in his bi-plane to save the day!

Dewey’s last known whereabouts were with a Hollywood studio. They placed him inside a motion capture suit to help animate the latest iteration of Curious George. Dewey sent a postcard back to Tom, Cami and Truman to rub their noses in it.

The Fat, White Movie Producer

He’s fat, he’s white and he’s here to squash your creativity. The Fat, White Movie Producer represents all that is wrong-headed about Hollywood marketing and decision making.

The Pitchmen

This nameless, tireless duo makes their appearance whenever we need to pull back the curtain on the creative process.

They had some good ideas for the costuming in 300, if you ask me.