Posts Tagged ‘twins’
4 items.
If you’ve ever been on the… y’know internet you’ve probably come across the subject matter of today’s strip in a piece of junk e-mail or on a humor site.
This being a week with very little for me to make fun of, I decided to capitolize on the awesome logic of these cinematic observations and translate them into toon form. They’ve been around so long, it’s almost like they’re part of the public domain. But hats off to whomever came up with them first.
I’d kind of like to make this a regular feature, but that depends on how well it’s received by you. If you concerned I’m abandoning original material, don’t worry. I have a fresh joke on deck in time to roast Dumb and Dumberer on Friday.
With that in the open, it leaves me with little else to talk about. Well, scractch that. Hollywood Homicide is coming out this week. Cami really wants to see it, and I do to (mostly for the Han Solo factor), but I’ve heard bad things about the flick. I guess initally, it was written as a comedy – and we know comedy is not one of Harrison Ford’s strong suits.
But I guess after some horrible test screenings, they changed the tone of the movie to more of a gritty L.A. cop drama. Ebert & Ropert liked it, whatever that is worth. So I guess my curiosity will win out this weekend and we’ll go see it.
I want to give a quick shout out to Brian Carroll over at Instant Classic who (as of this posting) has rocketed to #12 on the TWC. He’s totally deserving and I wouldn’t be surprised if he replaces us at #11 before the month is up. He has a damn fine comic. If you haven’t checked it out already, please do so… now!
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We do our fare share of razzing Julie Roberts around here, so in an effort to appease Cami, today’s incentive sketch loving depicts her in Roberts most famous role – Pretty Woman.
Even if you don’t care about lending votes to the site, I insist that you click on this link to view the sketch. It’s seriously probably one of the best ones I’ve done in a long time. I’m very proud of it.
In any case, according to an interview she conducted with Newsweek, Julia Roberts will indeed put her career on hold to raise the twins she’s supposed to give birth to this December with cameraman husband Danny Moder. All she has left to promote is the infidelity drama Closer and the European heist flick Ocean’s 12 and that’s all she wrote. We won’t see Julia Roberts for a long time to come. Hopefully the next 18 years. That’s how long it is before they kick kids out of the house these days, right?
Personally, I find the whole “Julia Roberts Pregnant!” story a little too good to be true. First they tell us she’s having twins. NOW there are reports it’s a boy and a girl. Could it *be* any more perfect?! I’m sorry; its sounds a little too much like a Hollywood concoction to me.
Frankly, I’m surprised Roberts is pregnant at all. She doesn’t have the shape of a mother. She looks like the kind of girl that any added weight is going to unbalance her like a weeble. She looks to frail to carry a baby, let alone two.
But then again, I suppose she should have extra room in her body considering that giant, empty chamber where a heart should be.
I’m sorry if that sounds callous, but Roberts does not strike me as the motherly type. She’s too cold. Too bitchy. Too… pointy. She doesn’t even have the shape of a mother. I guarantee one flash of that impossibly white windshield she calls a smile is going to burn the back of those kids retinas… leave ’em blind. JUST YOU WAIT!
Now that I think about it, she probably isn’t pregnant at all. She just ties on a prosthesis belly for when she has to do interviews or walk about town. She probably invented the whole pregnancy thing so she could hole herself up on that ranch she has in New Mexico and do lines of coke of a laser disc copy of Flatliners.
Come time to “deliver” the babies in December, she’ll fly out to some farm house in central Nebraska and buy a couple of kids from a poor, confused young woman. She’ll steal the children away before handing the crying infants over to her entourage. Then she’ll wag her bony finger in the face of the sobbing woman, threatening her to “Keep her dumb, redneck whore mouth shut!”
After flying back to their ranch, she’ll set the kids up in the guest house and have a Mexican nanny look after them. Ever so often she’ll wheel them out for photo ops and the occasional publicity – y’know, so America doesn’t forget about her.
Then, when the kids are all grown up, one of them will write a scathing tell-all book and dish on all of Roberts
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I’m not as adverse to Dwayne “The Rock” Johnson making kids movies as I depict myself in this comic. But I have to admit scratching my head in puzzlement when I first saw the trailer for The Game Plan. THIS was the guy that was supposed to replace Schwarzenegger? It might be a moot point. Truthfully, I don’t think we’ll ever see another era in action movies quite like what we had in the early 80’s. To that end, The Rock is smart for doing a kids movie – if it’s well crafted. As my good friend Joe pointed out, “one needs only say The Pacifier to know that even a successful family vehicle can stall an action heroes career.”
I think The Rock will emerge unscathed. I think that he moves quickly enough from role to role that audiences aren’t associating him with any one chracter – and that’s good. Plus, the guy has enough natural charisma, he won’t have trouble finding work.
People hold up Schwarzenegger as the pinnacle of action movie heroism but they kind of overlook the fact that action movies were all he was good for until he became bankable on name-recognition alone. Let’s face it – there’s not a lot of work for a near-mute, extremely musclebound guy in leading man roles. In many respects, Schwarzenegger had to pay his dues first.
Not much else going on at the moment. Although I want to remind you about the DVD giveaway I have happening right now. Two copies of Stargate Atlantis: Season Three. All you have to do is bookmark you three favorite Theater Hopper strips using the social bookmarking network of your choice and then e-mail me either a screen cap or a link to your profile page for the proof along with your name and mailing address to be entered. I can tell you right now that so far only FOUR people have entered the contest. So if you want some free stuff, your odds are pretty good. It’s a small way to help promote Theater Hopper and get something for yourself to boot.
I realize that Stargate Atlantis is probably a niche interest for some of you. But the next opportunity I get, I’m going to try this with a more popular selection and see if it sticks. Stay tuned.
I kind of got some bad news this week in regard to a site redesign I had been planning. I was trying to work with a local web design firm to help me impliment some air-tight comic archiving, blogging and content systems as well as helping me more fully integrate the site with social bookmarking networks. We had a few conversations over the phone, I met with them in person and outlined my thoughts, even the president of the company got involved to oversee things.
Then I get a note from them this week saying that they really aren’t equipped to partner with me in this way. Typically they design a site from concept to completion and don’t do much in terms of consulting. I was kind of pissed. I spent a month waiting for them to steer the ship in a certain direction and they totally bailed.
I’m very interested in taking Theater Hopper to the next level and I think a lot of that will rest of me elevating the design and interactive elements of the site to a competitive level. I need outside help to do this because I’ve been stewing in my own juices for too long.
Does anyone have suggestions? I want to work with a company. Not a freelancer. I need someone who will be accountable and on the clock if something breaks.
I’ve been fortunate enough to have some great people help me keep things running around here for a long time. I’m not discounting their efforts. But I want to build on their foundation and I don’t know where to go.
Part of me wonders if I should just switch everything over to WordPress and use the ComicSpace mod. I know a few people who have tried it and liked it. But the more I think about it, the more I’m convinced I need a customized buisness solution to meet my needs.
If you have any suggestions, please e-mail them to me at theaterhopper@hotmail.com.
Have a great weekend, everybody!
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Last week Cami and I watched No Reservations starring Catherine Zeta-Jones and Aaron Eckhart when I noticed that Eckhart has fabulous hair and I hate him for it.
Later, we watched an episode of 30 Rock we had recorded guest-starring Mad Men’s Jon Hamm when I noticed that his hair is also fabulous and that I hate him just as much.
Clearly these two should team up so they can flaunt their fabulous hair and I can hate them equally at the same time.
Think of it as the W.A.S.P. version of Bandidas starring Penélope Cruz and Salma Hayek from a few years back. Maybe Eckhart and Hamm can be investment bankers who run out of mousse, or something.
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