Posts Tagged ‘beer’
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I know that technically Bulletproof Monk came out on Wednesday, but if the reviews are any indication, not many of you are running out to see it. That’s why I can make a joke about it today and pass it off a relevant content!
Some of you may not know, but Bulletproof Monk is based of a comic book. The premise is pure Saturday afternoon cheese. Opening in 1943 Tibet, Nazi’s come looking for a sacred scroll that will imbue whoever reads it with unimaginable power.
But every 60 years, the scroll is assigned a protector who takes on supernatural powers from his trainer that keeps him from aging and, essentially, bulletproof.
But, of course, like any good premise, Hollywood has to muck it up by throwing in Sean William Scott, AKA Stiffler from the American Pie movies. So evident is the bad casting in this respect that you can see it from space. The less said, the better.
Still, it WOULD be funny to watch Stiffler pull the old “semen in your beer” trick on Chow Yun Fat. Just for the expression on his face.
Good news, gang! Posters are back from the printer! And because you’ve all been so good, I’m unveiling the FULL DESIGN there on your right. That’s what the bad boy will look like, and you can take it home with you starting Monday!
That’s right! On Monday I’ll start taking orders, so be sure to check the site early so you can get one of the lower numbers in the 100 print run. Once again, I can’t stress enough, once they are gone THEY’RE GONE! I WON’T REMAKE THESE!
Each poster will be signed and numbered by me and I would be happy to include a personal message on your poster or otherwise on a separate letter. Each poster will be rolled up and mailed in an INDESTRUCTIBLE cardboard tube to prevent damage.
The only glitch now is finding a place that sells them in bulk. Most office supply stores only carry a dozen or so at a time, but that shouldn’t be difficult to get around.
Expect full details regarding payment, shipping and the remaining nitty-gritty on Monday. Demand looks to be pretty high, so be sure and check the site EARLY!
Beyond that, I plan on kicking back and taking it easy this weekend. Here’s hoping you have a great Easter/Passover as well!
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If you’ve ever been on the… y’know internet you’ve probably come across the subject matter of today’s strip in a piece of junk e-mail or on a humor site.
This being a week with very little for me to make fun of, I decided to capitolize on the awesome logic of these cinematic observations and translate them into toon form. They’ve been around so long, it’s almost like they’re part of the public domain. But hats off to whomever came up with them first.
I’d kind of like to make this a regular feature, but that depends on how well it’s received by you. If you concerned I’m abandoning original material, don’t worry. I have a fresh joke on deck in time to roast Dumb and Dumberer on Friday.
With that in the open, it leaves me with little else to talk about. Well, scractch that. Hollywood Homicide is coming out this week. Cami really wants to see it, and I do to (mostly for the Han Solo factor), but I’ve heard bad things about the flick. I guess initally, it was written as a comedy – and we know comedy is not one of Harrison Ford’s strong suits.
But I guess after some horrible test screenings, they changed the tone of the movie to more of a gritty L.A. cop drama. Ebert & Ropert liked it, whatever that is worth. So I guess my curiosity will win out this weekend and we’ll go see it.
I want to give a quick shout out to Brian Carroll over at Instant Classic who (as of this posting) has rocketed to #12 on the TWC. He’s totally deserving and I wouldn’t be surprised if he replaces us at #11 before the month is up. He has a damn fine comic. If you haven’t checked it out already, please do so… now!
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Aug27
THIS IS AS WILD AS WE GET ON A WEDNESDAY NIGHT
August 27th, 2003 |
(1 votes, average: 7.00 out of 10)
There’s been a lot of fuss made about the 25th anniversary of Animal House – commemorated this week with a new Dolby-quality output of the seminal 1978 gross-out comedy on DVD this last Tuesday.
I admire Animal House less for what it is and more for the path it paved. Up until that point, erection jokes really weren’t getting their play in American cinema. It just goes to show, all of the most awesome movies were made in the 1970’s.
I was thinking about Animal House and its level of raunchiness. Not only the “gross-out” stuff, but the general sneering attitude toward women and minorities. I sincerely doubt the movie would ever be made in these P.C. times.
I was never in a fraternity in college. Blissfully, my alma mater was host to a fairly anemic Greek system. But my Dad was a frat guy and he swears by Animal House. It’s probably his favorite movie. He loves to tell me stories about initiation pranks where they would cover a banana in chunky peanut butter, drop it in a toilet and force blindfolded pledges to retrieve it. That’s exactly the level of sophomoric hi-jinks Animal House pitches. I find it more roguishly charming than truly outrageous. Almost cute.
If you compare hazing rituals like that one to the 24-hour keg stand most fraternities pass off as tradition these days, it makes me think my Dad rode the crest of the wave. I envy him in that respect.
Why such a goofball movie makes me think these things is beyond me. But it must have something to do with the enduring legacy of the film. Thanks to Animal House, every college guys aims for a similar experience…
…or at least wish they had.
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Apologies for the delay posting today’s comic. For some inexplicable reason, I couldn’t connect with the site’s server last night and by this morning, the site was down completely! I have no idea what happened. I didn’t receive any notification from my hosting company.
Funny – whenever my site does something that impacts their business (like the overabundance of spam that was in the database that controls the commenting system) I get an angry e-mail and they shut off the database that manages it. But when something on THEIR end impacts MY business – not a peep.
At any rate, it wasn’t until this afternoon that I noticed the site was back up. So here’s today’s comic!
I was trying to think of a way to do a joke about Superbad for today’s strip, but became paranoid that I wouldn’t be able to match the awesome humor that I’ve already seen from the film’s commercials and notorious red band trailer. I’ve been pleased to see that reviews for the film are coming back positive and strong. I can’t wait to see this movie. If for no other reason than to help cement Michael Cera as the comic talent of his generation. I thought everything he did on Arrested Development was note perfect and Superbad is exactly the kind of movie that will put his ability front and center. I’m telling you – he’s the real deal.
But I digress. Paranoid that I couldn’t come up with a joke that could sufficiently commentate on my perceived awesomeness of Superbad, I went the self-deprecating route instead. I actually came up for TWO punchlines to this joke. The other being that it would actually be high-school Cami answering the door in revealing lingerie (because cheesecake is funny!) but I opted not to go that route because of the implication that she was a big drinker in high school or… well, a whore. Neither was the case. Now that I think about it, I just wanted to draw Cami in lingerie. Next time, pervs!
I don’t know when Cami and I will get the chance to see Superbad this weekend. We have some relatives in town from Texas, so we’ll be hanging out with them. I have my fingers crossed for Sunday, but that seems kind of wrong to see a movie so crass on the Sabbath.
I’m being facetious. I don’t go to church!
I have a bunch of stuff planned for next week including a new DVD contest giveaway for Wild Hogs, which came out on DVD last Tuesday and The Ex (with Arrested Development’s Jason Bateman) which will be on DVD this coming Tuesday. Look for a review for The Ex and for Once as well along with three new comics.
Cami and I finally got to see Once the week before I went to Wizard World Chicago and I’ve been meaning to write up a review for it that will encourage more people to see it. The film is probably out of theaters in smaller markets, but if you live in the bigger cities, it might still be available. See it. That movie will change your life.
That’s it for now. See you guys soon!
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When I came up with the joke for today’s comic, I thought it one of the most clever things I’d ever written. But I think something got lost in translation because I’m not sure I executed it at the level I was imagining it. I feel like I’m trying to find my sea legs after spending so much time on the Shia LaBeouf arc.
I saw Beowulf over the weekend and liked it. I’m kind of surprised at some of the reactions I’ve been reading online. Some people like and and some people really hate it. I have to admit that there is some pretty bad dialogue in the film and there are some shades of “THIS! IS! SPARTA!” in the delivery. But for the most, part I give it a pass simply because it kind of makes sense that people in the middle ages would kind of talk like idiots, right?
I saw the movie in Digital 3D which I wasn’t aware was even an option until a few hours before I went to see the film. I haven’t seen a 3D movie in years, so it was a real treat. The effects weren’t all that obnoxious, but there were a few you could tell were thrown in to tweak the audience. Obviously I don’t have the basis for comparison seeing it in a “standard” format, but I felt watching it in 3D really put me closer to the action and I felt like I was able to pick up much more detail in the animation that I wouldn’t have been able to otherwise.
There’s lots I want to talk about with this film. Everything from the story to the performances to the rotoscoping technology behind the animation. But I’m sitting on my comments. Part of me wants to write a complete review for tomorrow and the other part knows that we’re probably going to talk this one to death on The Triple Feature tonight.
I guess if I was going to encapsulate Beowulf in a sound bite, I would say that my expectations were really low for the film because I was kind of offended by the concept that this motion capture stuff could be considered animation. I’m a traditionalist in that regard and part of me thinks that what Robert Zemekis is doing is a shortcut in the process.
On the other hand, I didn’t want to cast myself as a Luddite and as an animation fan in general, I owed it to myself to investigate this new technology.
The animation has problems, but you can tell they’ve made huge leaps forward since The Polar Express and now I’m kind of interested to see what’s next. My expectations were low and I think that’s why I ended up enjoying the film as much as I did.
Be sure to listen to The Triple Feature podcast tonight at 9:00 PM CST over at TalkShoe.com. I think all three of us have seen the film, so I’m sure there’s going to be a lot of crossfire. More than likely you’ll hear something you can attach yourself to, so check it out!
That’s it for now. See you tomorrow!
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When I learned Charlton Heston had passed away over the weekend, I was kind of shocked. I don’t know why. After all, it’s perfectly within the scope of reason that an 84 year-old man suffering the later stages of Alzheimer’s might be lost to us at some point.
Yet, when confronted with the reality of the situation, it’s tough to accept. It seems that in some for or another, Charlton Heston had always been known to me. Admittedly, as little time as I spend thinking about Heston specifically, you never really prepare yourself for the idea of a world without the guy.
Depending on your own beliefs, it could be easy to characterize Heston as a villian for his gun control stance in his later years. Personally, I never agreed with it and found his appearance with the NRA in town days after the Columbine massacre tasteless. How much of that was actually Heston’s idea versus the NRA pulling his strings, I suppose we’ll never know. Unfortunately, he might be as well known for his podium posturing and “…from my cold, dead hands!” speech than for any of the famous roles he played.
It’s particularly difficult for me to reconcile Heston’s pro-gun ownership position considering his history as a civil rights activist in the ’60’s. Here’s someone who marched with Martin Luther King Jr. – a strong proponent of NON violence. Where’d the gun thing come from?
I suppose you could say it was all about freedom. Freedom between men, freedom to arm yourself if you so choose, freedom from the hands of others that would try to steer your course in life. That aligns much more with my vision of who Heston was as a man.
Of course Heston leaves behind and amazing legacy in film as well. From Ben Hur to The Ten Commandments to Planet of the Apes, this guy was in more iconic movies than you can shake a stick at. Also, let’s not forget The Omega Man because The Omega Man is awesome. He makes Will Smith in I Am Legend look like a total pansy.
So, here’s to Charlton Heston. May he rest in peace.
I’m sure Heston’s passing is something we’ll be discussing tonight on The Triple Feature – as well as the weekend’s new releases. Curious that 21 held onto the top spot against George Clooney in Leatherheads and Jodie Foster in Nim’s Island. Two Oscar winners can’t take down a movie about some Dawson’s Creek rejects counting cards?
We’ll be discussing all that and more tonight at 9:00 PM CST over at TalkShoe. Be sure to listen to the broadcast live and submit your questions to the chat field. We took a few calls last week and that was a good time. We’d love to do it again!
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If my inner 10 year-old is right (and he almost always is) bodily function jokes are hilarious. I hope you enjoyed the burping, stink lines and all!
Quantum of Solace was the big box office winner this weekend, crushing the competition with a near $71 million take. What’s more surprising is that it raked in another $30 million on top of Casino Royale. So I guess we can consider this a mandate from the people – Daniel Craig is the balls.
I went to see QoS by myself on Friday night. I can’t remember the last time I went to a movie on opening night. At least not since Henry was born. These days, I catch a lot of matinees. Which kind of sucks because you don’t get the same community movie-going experience. But, on the other hand, you have to put up with a lot less crap.
My showing was sold out and since I was flying solo, people we bouncing me around all over the theater asking if I could move down one, move over here, move over there… I’m usually pretty accommodating. But after the third time, I stayed put. Don’t ask me to move after the the movie has started. Get here early next time!
Even though Cami liked Casino Royale, she wasn’t interested in seeing Quantum of Solace. I asked her why and she said she felt like she had no stake in the movie and that it wasn’t advertised to her at all. She had no idea what it was about and no interest in seeing it.
She wasn’t dismissive toward QoS, just not involved. And I think this is very telling.
Obviously MGM had a reason to promote Casino Royale to everyone and their grandmother two years ago. They had a new Bond and it was essentially a reboot of the franchise. Spread the message far and wide. But I think the studio was a little complacent advertising QoS, perhaps relying a little too much on Casino Royale’s reputation to put them over the top. I talked to a few other friends whose wives and girlfriends weren’t interested in seeing QoS for similar reasons.
I guess the gamble paid off if the movie did $30 million over Casino Royale’s opening weekend box office. I just thought it was an interesting observation.
As for the movie itself, I’ve read several reviews that have called it “brutally efficient” and I would say that is the most apt description. Several of the action sequences take after the Bourne movies and force you to “eat the action” with a lot of hand held close-up shots. That’s fine if the action sequences are staged well. Here, they look like a monkey humping a coconut. It’s hard to tell what’s going on.
Daniel Craig is excellent as Bond. His steel blue eyes dare you to look away lest he snap your neck.
Not a lot of gadgets on display. The movie seems content to “push” existing technology into a more fantastic realm. Super powerful mini-cameras tied to a criminal database, GPS, that sort of thing.
Even the Bond women are toned down a notch. Not a lot of sex or innuendo. One quick roll in the hay and it’s over. This Bond is all about kicking ass and chewing bubble gum and he’s all out of bubble gum.
I have more to say about the plot of the movie. Specifically the ending – how it works while you’re watching it, but left scratching your head afterwords. If you’re interested to hear more, tune in to The Triple Feature podcast tonight at 9:00PM CST over at Talkshoe.com.
I mentioned this last week, but Joe, Gordon and I all have several big anniversaries to celebrate this week as well. Gordon hit #300 at Multiplex last week and Joe Loves Crappy Movies crossed the #400 strip milestone as well. Wednesday, I cross #900 and collectively, the three of us are inching up toward #100 recorded episodes of The Triple Feature. Seems like a good opportunity for a little introspection if there ever was any. Be sure to tune in tonight for the lowdown on that.
One last thing… In anticipation of Wall-E coming out on DVD tomorrow, I’m going to be posting all sorts of little bits and bytes to get you excited about the movie. Today, I have a half dozen clips from the film and they’re all great. So check them out and don’t forget to buy Wall-E on DVD this Tuesday.
Also don’t forget to come back to the site tomorrow when I post my full review of the 3-disc Special Edition! It’s good stuff!
Anyway, the clips. Enjoy and I’ll see you here tomorrow!
Treasures & Trinkets
Elbows (Bonus)
Reason for Bots (Bonus)
Building the Worlds from the Sound Up (Bonus)
Eve’s Entrance (Film)
Trailer
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