Posts Tagged ‘Wynnsong 16’
5 items.
With great regret, I must forewarn you all that today’s blog will be all about hate. It is unfortunate considering this is the last Theater Hopper strip of 2002, but best to vent now before midnight tomorrow and all that “fresh start” and “new cheer” crap gets underway.
First, let me say that I absolutely HATE my local Fox affiliate. I cursed their name quite loudly when they pre-empted The Simpsons for a basketball game between Iowa State and UNI. This is the second time this year they’ve done this. Normally I would be on board to support the Panthers, but may the Lord help anyone who stands between me and the best damn show in television history. The bastards.
Second, about today’s strip.
Anyone who knows me knows my hatred for my local multiplex – The Wynnsong 16 – burns white hot and rages without boundaries. They also know, like a chump, I keep going back there because it is one of the only theaters boasting both stadium seating and THX sound. You can see my dilemma.
However, as good as the physical theaters are, they barely compensate for the crew of nearly retarded helper monkeys they have manning the ticket booths, concessions and projection booths. Today’s strip is but one of the many TRUE STORIES I’ve collected in my experience with Wynnsong.
The above tale took place less than a week ago when I went to see Star Trek: Nemesis. I went to the matinee. I asked for two tickets and was charged $15.00. I had a twenty in my hand and gave it to the drooling goon with the mop-top haircut. But once I had my tickets, I slowly realized that matinee prices should be… y’know, cheaper.
Immediately stepping back up to the booth, I went back to the same dude who sold me tickets. I explained calmly “I just bought tickets for the 1:30 matinee, but you charged me full price.”
A blank stare greeted me from behind the glass.
“So that means you charged me five dollars more than you should have,” I continued to explain. I waited for him to leap into action.
Still a blank stare.
Then the employees flanking him started walking him through the procedure to return to me my five dollars. They were pointing at buttons on the cash register he should press and did everything but grab his hand to pluck my refund out of the drawer for him.
The whole process took about four minutes longer than it should have.
With my cash firmly in my grasp, I waited for some kind of apology or a humble “Oops. My mistake!” but got nothing. This cretin didn’t say a word to me about it. Not even a half-hearted “Enjoy your show!”
I walked into the theater wondering how people such as he could even conjure the will to bathe themselves in the morning.
This is but one of the many reasons why I hate the Wynnsong 16.
[ No Comments ]
Well, here we are. 2003. Everyone make it through okay? While I have no tales of New Year’s Eve debauchery to share, I am glad to see another year. Here’s to you and yours.
I have to apologize for the delay on the strip. I know I said late morning/early afternoon, but it turned into early evening. But at least I got it to ya on a Wednesday!
As you can see, I’m continuing the “Why I Hate Wynnsong” theme this week. The above event is based on truth, but exaggerated greatly on the end. I know I’m dipping into Seinfied territory with today’s bit of satire, but I am extremely annoyed with the concessions people who repeatedly try to push on you these stupid combo meals. The amount of popcorn they give you could feed a family of four. Why do I need a refill?
“And have you ever noticed how difficult it is to open a bag of airline peanuts?”
By the way, has anyone else noticed the extra care I’ve taken when coloring panes of glass? It’s like, my new thing, or whatever.
No real news today, so I guess I’ll remind you to vote in our poll. It will only take a second and it helps me to know which way to turn the rudder when plotting the future course of this site. The current poll is all about Top Web Comics and it seems to have generated some interest. It’s already racked up a quarter of the votes our last poll took a week to pull together.
Also be sure to check out the “Our Media” section on the right. I was looking for a little extra content to fill the space and figured since this site serves double-duty as a funny pictures depot and a rant spot, I would fill everyone in on the pop culture inspiring me at the moment. As you can see, Jared jumped on the bandwagon as well.
Hmm… must think of clever ending. Hey! Look over there!
:: runs away ::
[ No Comments ]
I took a second glance at the blog post I made this morning and decided that it was a really sucky way to cap off the week. I wanted to come back and let everyone know things are all better at Camp Brazelton.
After thumbing through the forums at Triton Labs, the solution became immediately clear. When installing the Afterburner, there are four protective plastic strips that prevent contamination to the components before installation. While assembling the mod, I only removed three and that’s why the colors looked all assy.
I would have had time to make the repair last night, but I didn’t want to wake up our beagle puppy Truman. How ironic that the little bastard woke me up at 6 o’clock this morning – a full hour before I regularly get up. I decided to take the extra time to make the repairs to my Game Boy and everything turned out fine. Yay!
I have to say, in retrospect the installation was fairly uncomplicated. But I think when you crack open the shell of this rather expensive piece of equipment, you’re nerves get a little jittery and you don’t follow directions as well as you should. Just goes to show I would make a horrible bomb squad technician…
Something else I wanted to cover in this blog is another Wynnsong story. I figured it was the least I could do since I gave everyone the shaft this morning. I wanted to use it as a plot for one of today’s strip, but it had to deal with concession workers in a different aspect, and I was looking to follow the thread of continuity a little further down the line. Hence, the “lunging through the projectionist booth window” gag we get today.
Anyway, the story. And I swear on the grave of Jack Lemmon it’s the truth.
I went to see Gangs of New York about a week ago. I was having a particularly crappy day and wasn’t much in the mood for any crap. I had hoped going to a movie would take my mind off things. No such luck.
We get to the theater and there is only one guy selling tickets. It’s a Monday night, but it’s understandable, but it’s also right before Christmas when a lot of people have time off. Bad management strikes again.
After purchasing tickets and going inside, there are about 16 people working behind the concession counters and there is NO ONE in line. In fact, there are kids standing behind the counter while the line for tickets is trailing outside. You can’t pull a couple of kids out from behind the candy counter to help thin out the ticket line? Morons!
Realizing that Gangs of New York is like, 12 hours long, I decided to get some popcorn and a soda (BUT NOT A COMBO!) I hadn’t eaten yet and I didn’t want hunger getting in the way of my grasping the movie in all it’s Scorsese glory.
I ask the kid behind the counter, “Can I have a large popcorn and a medium Coke?”
To which he replies, “Sure you can. It’s a free country.”
To which I wanted to reply “ARE YOU GOING TO GET ME MY DAMN COKE, OR NOT?!” But Miss Manners wouldn’t approve.
The kid then starts scooping up the corn and looks over his shoulder with a cock-sure grin and asks “Do you want oil on your popcorn?” And his tone inferred that this was not his cute name for butter, but meant to be taken sarcastically.
“Nooooo… I don’t want OIL on my popcorn,” I scoffed.
Once he was finished putting everything together he rang up the total and I paid with a twenty. “Ooo! Big spender!” he cooed.
So close I was to gripping his skull and slamming it into the register.
I get my change back and he says to me “Enjoy your movie, people!”
I WAS THE ONLY ONE AT THE COUNTER! THERE WERE NO OTHER “PEOPLE”
I met up with Cami who was looking at preview posters and I was nearly shaking with anger. “I think they must be giving these kids lessons on how to be a jackass, or something,” I muttered. We went to watch our film.
Now look, before this erupts into some kind of class warfare thing or whatever, know that I used to work for a movie theater just like this kid. So I KNOW what’s it’s like to be bombarded by idiots all day long. But I was nothing but cool to this kid and he’s firing back with both barrels.
I may have never liked any of the people I served when, but I never went out of my way to make anyone feel like crap. I swear to God if I ever see that kid again, I’m gonna punch him in the back of the head.
Oh, look. Now I’m all angry again! Dammit!
[ No Comments ]
So this is the conclusion of Why I Hate Wynnsong week. Obviously I dipped a little too deeply into the well of hyper-extended realism with the last two comics, but they’re fairly true to life. I hope you all walked away with at least a smile from this episode. Meanwhile, I’m still waiting to hear from a Wynnsong representative for tarnishing their mediocre name. No luck.
I’m not feeling very chatty today because I just attempted to install the Afterburner for my Game Boy Advance and am afraid I screwed it up. The colors are all washed out and I’m stressing about it. I’ve been reading the Afterburner forums trying to isolate the problem, and I think it’s an easy fix, but my Game Boy is in the kitchen and I don’t want to wake up my dog.
Plus, considering I just spent a gut-wrenching two hours installing the thing – petrified I would ruin a fairly nice piece of electronic equipment – I don’t know if I up for round two just yet. Nevermind I burnt the hell out of my finger tips with the soldering iron.
Anyway, that about caps it off for me tonight. There are no big releases this weekend, so I’ll probably stick close to home. Cami wants to see Two Weeks Notice, but I’m in such a pissy mood right now, just the thought of Sandara Bullock up on screen makes me want to break a two by four over my knee.
Ah, well. Hope everyone else has a better weekend than mine is shaping up to be. I might be back later, but don’t count on it.
Oh, and if you haven’t participated in the poll above, be a dear and give me some feedback! Thanks!
[ No Comments ]
Jun06
As promised, I’m taking another shot at 2 Fast, 2 Furious. This time, I’m focusing my “Laser of Hate”(tm) on star Paul Walker – An individual who reminds me so painfully of every jock I had to talk circles around in high school to avoid a fist-fight… it makes me sick. If Paul Walker spontaneously bursts into flames tomorrow morning, it won’t be too soon.
I hope you like todays strip. It took a lot of work for me to put it together. Of course, that was kind of the point. I felt Monday and Wednesday’s strip lacked a certain… I don’t know what… in the art department. I tried to raise my game a little before kicking off the weekend.
Cami said she liked that we share a bed in the last panel. “As opposed to what?” I asked. “The Dick Van Dyke Show beds of the 1950’s where we sleep in individual beds with a nightstand seperating us?”
That girl is cute. I dig her. 🙂
By the way, if you want to check out other instances where I’ve used the “Tom dreams of horrible violence gag” you can scope them here and here. We’ve come a long way, baby.
Did anyone happen to catch the 2003 MTV Movie Awards last night? It’s not as if you may have missed anything special. They tape the show in advance and the winners are released in the press the next day. By the time it makes it to television a week later, the air has been let out of the thing.
I don’t really watch for the awards. That’s just a toss off anyway. We all know the awards are a guise for getting a bunch of celebrities in a room and selling ad time. The reason I watch is for the comedy skits and parodies – which were pretty good. The Charlie’s Angels “Ass Coordinator” parody actually makes me want to go see it now. Mission accomplished, Drew Barrymore – you savvy business woman!
I’m starting to feel skittish about asking for votes for the Top 150 list at Top Web Comics (note, I did not include a link). It was pointed out to me in the forums that in the 16 strips since I’ve joined the list, I’ve asked for votes 11 times – sometimes twice in a day. That made me feel… icky.
I don’t want to get in the position of having to remind or beg or whatever for votes and I need to keep that in mind. So if you see me stepping out of line or if it becomes annoying to you, let me know. I need to remember that you guys don’t come here to be pestered for votes, but to be entertained.
I leave it at that.
[ No Comments ]
