Posts Tagged ‘WTF’
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I know I should probably be talking about Pirates of the Caribbean: Dead Man Chest’s incredibly record-shattering $132 million weekend, but I saw this press release about Dakota Fanning being offered membership into The Academy of Motion Picture Arts and Sciences and had to comment on it before it was no longer news-worthy.
Clearly, this is a move by the A.M.P.A.S. to counteract criticisms that it’s an old-fogey club. If you check the roster of other invitees, you’ll see younger actors such as Jake Gyllenhaal, Keira Knightley and Joaquin Phoenix we extended membership. But it’s Fanning’s name that sticks out like a sore thumb.
Dakota Fanning is 12 YEARS OLD. She can’t vote in an acutual election, but she can throw in her two cents on next year’s Best Picture nominees. Granted, helping to figure out who 2007’s Best Sound Effects award should go to is less imperitive than choosing who should be the next person to sit in the Oval Office, but can a 12 year-old objectively judge this kind of stuff? Or, more likely, was Fanning’s name tossed into the mix as a shrewd publicity move to get the media outlets to notice their larger initiative of proving that the Oscars are young! The Oscars are hip!
Truthfully, the name on the membership invitation list that REALLY caught my eye was Werner Herzog. If you need ANY proof that the A.M.P.A.S. is out of touch – even with their own constituents – you need look no futher than Herzog’s name on the invitation list. Outside of perhaps Tony Kaye, I can think of no other director who is more PURPOSEFULLY outside of the mainstream than Herzog. Obviously, it’s either some kind of makeup gesture for excluding Grizzly Man from the Best Documentary category last year or – barring that – Herzog’s more public profile as of late probably woke someone up and they said "Hey, that guy makes movies arty people like! Let’s invite him."
It’s my hope that Herzog tells them to take a long walk off a short pier. But that’s just me.
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If nothing else, Jimmy is very responsive to matters concerning customer service. To figure out exactly what I’m talking about vote for Theater Hopper at Top Web Comics.
I didn’t realize it until I had finished inking and scanned today’s comic into the computer, but I think I may have inadvertently stole the set up for this joke from a recent Joe Loves Crappy Movies. Sorry about that, Joe. Totally unintentional, I swear. I guess there are just a lot of movies leaving people stunned walking out of the theater!
I suppose one could accuse me of plagiarizing myself in this comic as well. Anyone who is following my Twitter account already read the punchline Friday night after I posted my 140 character or less review of Crank: High Voltage on Twitter as soon as the credits started to roll. But what can I say? I thought it was a good off-the-cuff zinger that could be used in the comic.
I saw Crank: High Voltage at a late showing on Friday night and there’s really no other reaction but slack-jawed silence.
The movie is 1 hour and 25 minutes of pure kinetic “eff you.” I didn’t have attention-deficit hyperactivity disorder before watching this movie, but now I fear I might. Now I know how an 8 year-old on a Ritalin fit must see the world.
Crank: High Voltage is an unusual film in the respect that the filmmakers are basically daring you to hate it. And if you do hate, they make it perfectly clear they don’t care what you think.
You know how critics complain that action movies are like giant video games? Crank: High Voltage takes that literally, and there are several references to the digital pastime littered throughout the film. Everywhere from the 8-bit opening credit sequence to Dwight Yokum’s girlfriend Chocolate playing Atari on the couch to the topographical map of Los Angeles tracing the hero’s journey from location to location. There’s even a giant boss battle at an electrical sub-station!
The film is none to subtle about letting you know that Jason Statham’s Chev Chelios is basically a character inside a giant video game running around Los Angels, creating all kinds of mayhem with barely any interference from the authorities. Watching Crank: High Voltage, you realize how pointless a film adaptation of Grand Theft Auto would be. This movie beat them to the punch.
There’s not a lot to celebrate in the film. It’s a highly cynical, hateful affair. But at the same time, it’s cathartic fun. Much like a video game, I can easily see someone watching this film, working out their aggression and then going about their day a little less wound up.
Regarding the performances, Statham does a good job kicking ass and chewing bubble gum. Oh, but look! He’s all out of bubble gum! I like Statham’s willingness to go along with something that is completely ridiculous. Outtakes during the credits reveal his good nature. Whereas other action stars might look at the role of Chev Chelios and roll their eyes, Statham seems to be licking his chops to get at the character. His sincerity is communicated clearly and it makes the intensity of the character easier to stomach.
Beyond that, I kept trying to figure out what Amy Smart was doing in this picture (beyond the fact that she appeared in the original) and Bai Ling basically played to type as a hysterical, gibbering psycho bitch who wears too much eyeliner.
I’m trying to think of more critical angles to examine the film from. But, in truth, the whole episode feels like a fever dream. It’s very difficult to remember details because the film zips from location to location, scene to scene so fast, nothing really sticks with you except the feeling of momentum.
In that respect, I suppose the film is successful in communicating the sensation of a man running out of time. Chelios and his artificial heart placed under strenuous use keeps things moving at a brisk pace. But beyond that? Um… a stripper chest shot in the chest and her implants ooze out all over her body as she screams? Yeah, that sticks out to me.
I think most of you already know whether or not Crank: High Voltage is the movie for you. There’s very little about this film that aims for acceptance from the popular majority. It is what it is and either your along for the ride or not. Hang on, if you dare.
For more discussion around Crank: High Voltage, be sure to tune in to The Triple Feature tonight at 9PM CST at Talkshoe.com. I know for a fact that all three of us saw the film and certainly with a movie as provocative as this one, we should have a lot to say about it.
If you have any questions you would like us to answer during the show, please feel free to send them to us at group@thetriplefeature.com. We’ll be happy to answer them on-air!
See you then!
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Yesterday it was reported that Detroit’s Mayor Steve Bing took to Twitter to deny any plans for the city to erect a statue of Robocop as part of their revitalization plans. The Mayor’s office has been soliciting for suggestions online.
I’m sure the suggestion was tongue-in-cheek and the mini-firestorm it set off yesterday was probably equally playful. But as sympathetic as I am to Mayor Bing’s decision to reject the proposal, I’m personally disappointed it’s not happening.
Realistically, you don’t want to erect a statue of a character from a movie that was a pretty savage satire of commercialization in the United States (the police being owned by a large corporation) while using Detroit’s reputation for urban blight as a backdrop. I get that. Truthfully, you could argue that Robocop did more to harm Detroit’s reputation than help it. So why celebrate it.
But on the other hand, Robocop is awesome. There’s no two ways about it. If someone wanted to present me a statue of Robocop, I’d put it up in my front yard.
What’s your reaction to this disappointing news? What other cities might benefit from having statues of movie characters erected in their cities? Sound off below!
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