Posts Tagged ‘vampires’
2 items.
Nov18
I have to admit feeling a certain amount of pressure writing today’s comic. I knew I wanted to do something that continued to explore New Moon, but I didn’t know exactly what that would be. I knew it would involve shirtlessness, but I wasn’t sure how.
Added to this pressure was the unexpected reaction to Monday’s comic. Lots of positive comments, e-mails and feedback which I greatly appreciate!
We have a little comic ranking system below each strip and usually about 20 or so of you habitually leave your two cents and rank the comics on a scale of 1 to 10. It’s a handy little litmus test that I enjoy checking in on because it helps me know when I’m doing well and when I might need to freshen things up with the strip.
The response to Monday’s comic was unprecedented. As of this writing, it generated 52 votes with an average of 9.67 out of 10 – nearly perfect. I take that seriously because it’s one thing if a couple of guys give a comic a 9 or 10 star rating. But when you’re able to maintain that average across 50 people, that means you really did something right!
So, thank you! I’m really glad you enjoyed it.
Which brings us to today’s comic…
When I think about it, it probably makes more sense for Goth Jared to be excited about New Moon, since the sullen protagonists of the film fit so neatly into his world view. But I needed someone who was over-enthusiastic about the movie to help sell the punchline where glitter is thrown into Tom’s face. Admittedly, the punchline is a bit of a non sequitur. But it sounded funny to me.
In my head, a guy going shirtless to a Twilight movie counts as attending “in costume.” Following that line of logic, it would also make sense to cover yourself head to toe in glitter if you planned on attending as the sunken-cheeked Hollister model known as Edward Cullen.
For the life of me, I will never understand why Stephanie Meyer chose to upend the vampire myth and allow the vampires in her books the ability to walk around in daylight. Twilight would be a much more satisfying franchise if Edward Cullen’s head burst into flames every time he pokes that moussed-up haystack out of a window. By turning vampires into My Little Ponies, she has effectively de-fanged them as a menacing threat (if you’ll pardon the pun). And how boring is that?
I was combing the internet looking for the reasons WHY Meyers’s vampires sparkle in the sunlight and – as usual – Yahoo! Answers has the most hilarious dissection of the subject:
Q: Why are Twilight vampires beautiful and why do they sparkle?
Okay, so the venom that’s supposed to help sedate you so the vampire can kill you will somehow turn you into the perfect, immortal model with diamond cells. With creative license, I can buy that, I suppose. But WHY do they?
Vampires are predators. Sparkling in the sunlight would tell your prey that you were coming. It would give you away. Now, they supposedly sparkle and are beautiful to attract their prey – humans – which would be attracted by your physical beauty. However, Edward specifically says at some point that people purposefully didn’t approach them because, due to instinct, they’re scared of them. And if they’re ungodly fast and strong, why do they need to lure their prey in, in the first place?
BEST ANSWER
It’s because Meyers doesn’t know what she writes. She seems never to have gone to 5th grade English lessons. Her entire writing contradicts itself at every possible opportunity.
I think Edward’s beautiful so Bella gets attracted to Edward, LUST. Because she never talked to anyone else, the love she feels for Edward is LUST, she only talks about Edward’s beauty. Nothing else.
Another thing abut Bella, she’s an idiot. Giving up her friends, her family, just so she can spend eternity as a 18 year old, is at the very least, disturbing.
I love you, Yahoo! Answers.
Does anyone here have any thoughts about why Meyers’s vampires are all glammed out? If so, leave your comments below. Until then, thanks for reading and have a great day!
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I’m not exactly sure what the Twilight movies have to do with the Resident Evil franchise, but Jared seems passionate about the topic so Tom really has no choice but to go along.
I wish I had made the genesis of Jared’s conviction a little more clear in the comic. But the gist of it is, “If we’re going to be subjected to ridiculous genre movies, we should at least side with the films that honor the films that came before it.”
Or something to that effect.
The Resident Evil movies are a complete bastardization of the zombie movie genre, but at least it doesn’t upend things entirely. Twilight treats vampires like the amalgamation of an Ambercrombie & Fitch fever dream filtered through the diary of a 15 year-old. It completely ignores the mythological elements that make vampires interesting in the first place.
Like I said, Jared’s stance isn’t exactly clear. I was really more interested on busting chops in regard to Resident Evil: Afterlife. The execution was a little sloppy on this one. Sorry. Righteous indignation is a lot more fun when you don’t have to explain it.
In my defense, however, my mind is pretty flayed right now as we prepare for our move to a new home in a week and a half. We’ve been packing for what feels like forever and our house has become a claustrophobic snare of boxes.
Speaking of the move, I recently put a bunch of my Theater Hopper merchandise in boxes and it’s intimidating the crap out of me. I’m really wishing I hadn’t taken my books out of the boxes they were shipped to me in right now. I got a couple of really heavy Tupperwares in the basement and I pray for the poor souls that have to move them into our new house.
You can help with this, you know? All you have to do is place an order between now and Sunday, September 19 in the Theater Hopper store to help lighten our load. All books are $11.00 and all t-shirts are $7.00 or less.
You might also want to look into following me on Facebook and Twitter. I’ve been sharing special discount code there that can help you save on your order. In most cases, the discounts pretty much cancel our shipping expenses entirely.
Response to the sale so far has been really, really great. So I’m reluctant to push the ball too far up the field. I don’t want to alienate anyone who has already shown their support.
But we’re reaching the finish line and every little bit helps. I’m very motivated to sell off as much of this merchandise as possible so I don’t have to move it into the new house.
Again, if you’re unable to make a purchase at this time, that’s totally fine. I understand. But if you can help spread the word about the sale on Facebook, Twitter, forums or in the comments section of the blogs you visit, that would really help.
Additionally, if you’ve already made a purchase and would like to leave a comment about it, you can do that under the “Store” tab on the Theater Hopper Facebook page. Testimonials are worth their weight in gold and sometimes help give people who are on the fence the little extra push they need.
Also, it totally feeds my ego. So… win-win!
That’s all for now. We’re in the dog days of Summer, kids. Not a lot of movie news to talk about. Did anyone happen to see Resident Evil: Afterlife and care to talk about it in the comments? Can someone explain the appeal of these movies to me? Let us know your thoughts!
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