Posts Tagged ‘Shia LaBeouf’
40 items.
Feb01
I wish there was some kind of context for this comic, but there really isn’t. I was checking my LiveJournal friends page the other day and the feed from BestWeekEver.tv posted these images of Shia LaBeouf wearing a cow costume – no explanation provided.
I suppose you could argue their existence in a couple of ways. Maybe some photographer talked Shia into taking a couple of photos to make fun of his name – which loosely translates to “Thank God for the beef.” Maybe he’s trying to reach out to the furry community. Maybe they’re a gag gift. Or maybe Shia has no idea what to do with all the money he made from Transformers.
Whatever the case may be, they fit way too neatly into my anti-Shai campaign to pass up. But instead of mouthing off for the hundredth time about why I find the dude so off-putting, I decided to post both images at a higher resolution and let the images speak for themselves.
Have a great weekend, everybody!
Images courtesy of Towerload.com
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When someone e-mailed me this story about actor Shia LaBeouf having a $1,000 bench warrant issued for his address, I laughed out loud. Not only because it fit into my ant-Shia campaign, but because it fit so perfectly.
First of all, who on Earth gets cited for unlawful smoking? Second, I know he’s a busy guy and probably couldn’t make his court appearance, but what kind of boneheaded attorney has he hired who wouldn’t be there on his behalf? It’s almost too perfect.
This, combined with “Hell-no-I-won’t-leave-this-Walgreen’s-Don’t-you-know-who-I-am?” bust in November of last year makes LaBeouf the most laughable wannabe “tough guy” in Hollywood. It’s almost like he’s the Jan Brady of up-and-coming actors, always coming up with these hair-brained schemes to boost his tough guy cred and shed his Disney past. But he’s only capible of coming up with the most minor offenses.
“I gotta think of of a way to look more manly for casting agents! I know! UNLAWFUL SMOKING! Then, later, I might egg someone’s house.”
I know that’s not the case, but in the dark corners of my mind, I wish it were true.
Still, what do you have to do to get cited for unlawful smoking? I realize in most urban centers, you’re not allowed to smoke indoors anymore. But it’s not like running a red light, is it? I mean, a cop isn’t going to see you lighting up indoors somewhere and immediately hit you with a ticket, is he? Heck, even when you’re speeding, sometimes they let you off with a warning. Don’t you think they would have asked him to “please extinguish the cigarette” before hitting him with a fine?
I’m starting to wonder if it wasn’t a case of someone asking him to put out the cigarette and him saying “Sure!” before lighting up again when the person was out of sight. I wouldn’t put it past him. That’s exactly the kind of entitled attitude that I read in waves coming off this kid.
Again, this is all conjecture. In fact, a great deal of it is fantasy. But does it really seem that far outside the realm of possibility? Food for thought.
Sorry for the lateness of the comic. I didn’t get a start on things until late last night and couldn’t finishing until later this morning because we had a guy in our house doing electrical work. Lame excuse, I know. But things will settle more back into a routine next week when I start my new job.
That’s all for now. Have a great weekend everyone!
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Apologies for the lack of a news post on this comic. I stayed up late Tuesday night producing it and had to crash before writing the blog. I planed on completing it when I got back from work Wednesday night, but crashed out because I was really sick with chills and everything. I slept something like 13 hours last night. Crazy.
Things are a little nutty right now because of the new job I started on Monday, so I appreciate your patience while things fall into place.
About the comic, I know that I did a Shia LaBeouf comic a couple of days ago, but the kid keeps screwing up in such unspectacular ways, he makes it too easy not to comment on it. If you click on that link and read the story about his parking mishap, be sure and check out the note someone taped to his car. Perhaps a candidate for PassiveAggressiveNotes.com?
Not much else to add. Like I said, I’m a little scattered this week. But thanks for your patience. I hope to see you here Friday!
Later!
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May23
GUEST STRIP – CLAY AND HAMPTON YOUNT
May 23rd, 2008 |- Comics »
- Comics »
- Guest Strip
(5 votes, average: 9.00 out of 10)
Today’s guest strip comes from my Boxcar brothers-in-arms, Clay and Hampton Yount. Clay and Hampton produce the always-excellent Rob & Elliot as well as Cosmobear. Two of a very small handful of strips that make me ROTFLMAO on a consistent basics. Check ’em out.
You doubt their quality?! Well, Hampton just recently won a comedy competition in Washington D.C. that affords him an all-expense paid trip to Hollywood to perform at the Improve there. So suck on that!
That said, Clay had a few reservations about the strip he sent to me. But I like it a lot. I think it captures something pure and essential about the developing relationship between Jared and Shia LaBeouf.
Now for something convoluted and unnecessary.
Last Saturday I was out running a few errands and Cami called me on my cell phone to pick up lunch. “Get whatever you want,” she said.
So, like the proud, upstanding, overweight American I am, I went to Burger King.
I like Burger King, but you have to be careful to eat just the right amount. Too much Burger King and you’re looking at a long afternoon of stomach upset and evaporated dreams.
For me, the kids meal is perfect. You get an appropriate amount of Burger King – PLUS! – free toy. Who’s the big winner? That’s right. Me.
So I purchase my kids meal (hamburger, no pickles) and I see that they are promoting Indiana Jones and The Kingdom of The Crystal Skull. I’m excited, but The King kind of ran the Iron Man promotion out on a rail kind of quickly, didn’t he?
I get the food home and I’m looking at the side of the bag. It lists the 8 different toys you can get. Indy running away from the boulder, a pen that writes in invisible ink… you know, the regular stuff.
Anyway, I notice that there is also a toy featuring Shia LaBeouf on a motorcycle. "I hope I don’t get that one!" I say to Cami.
I reach into the bag and what do I find?…
So I was a little bit disappointed.
But as I was eating my lunch, I started to study this miniaturized LaBeouf (almost life size!) and I started to wonder about the proportions. Was real-life Shia like this? Then I began to notice the eyes. I held the toy closer to get a better look…
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Closer still…
The tiny plastic avatar of Shia LaBeouf is AS BORED to be a toy as I am to HAVE him as a toy!
Those droopy lids will haunt my nightmares forever.
FOREVER!!!
Regarding the movie in question, Cami and I plan on seeing Indiana Jones and The Kingdom of The Crystal Skull tonight. It’ll be a nice reprieve in a week of incredible stress and worry.
We’re leaving Henry and Truman with Cami’s parents this evening, taking a little time for ourselves and then going back to Rochester to visit my Dad in the hospital.
Dad is doing well, by the way. They moved him out of the ICU into a private room on Wednesday morning and they’ve had him up and walking the last few days. He’s exhausted, but recovering well. They took out his chest tubes and the IVs going into his neck yesterday and they’re talking about discharging him on Sunday – so we’re really looking forward to that.
I still have a few guest comics in my back pocket and, depending how things shake out this weekend, you’ll probably see them next week. I’m thinking Monday at least and then getting back to regular comics on Wednesday and Friday. Since I have more guest comics than that, I’ll probably use them to fill in on Tuesday and Thursday. I would feel bad not running them. Especially when they were sent to me without solicitation and as a show of solidarity during this time of upheaval and my Dad’s surgery.
It’s been a long week, but things are looking up. Thanks to everyone for their support and I’ll see you here on Monday!
Have a great weekend, everyone!
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May26
MOVIE REVIEW – INDIANA JONES AND THE KINGDOM OF THE CRYSTAL SKULL
May 26th, 2008 |(2 votes, average: 7.00 out of 10)
Typically, when a franchise fill series takes the better part of a generation to introduce another sequel into the pop culture landscape, the entry could be misconstrued as a money grab.
But, for whatever reason, the latest installment of the Indiana Jones is a film that fans have been chomping at the bit to see. Chalk it up to excellent marketing, and indelible heroic lead or perhaps the sands of time fogging the lens of nostalgia.
After all these years, does Indiana Jones and The Kingdom of The Crystal Skull hold up? Infuriatingly, yes and no. While not a dour or violent as the exhausting Indiana Jones and The Temple of Doom, Indiana Jones and The Kingdom of The Crystal Skull suffers from one too many head scratching, credibility straining moments that pull the view right out of the movie and suck the life from it.
However, the movie starts with a bang – literally. We catch up with our hero in 1957. Indy has been kidnapped and taken to a mysterious government warehouse in the middle of the Nevada dessert. His captor is KGB agent Irina Spalko, played with a hint of dominatrix glee by Cate Blanchet. She wants Indy to find an artifact that will give the Soviet army the upper hand in the escalating Cold War.
Indy’s romp and eventual escape from his Russian captors are the most exhilirating moments of the movie. And, although the sequence ends with one of those head-scratching moments I was referring to, you let it slide. Because it’s exactly the kind of "by the skin of your teeth" escape you wan to see Indiana Jones make.
Later on, when a switchblade-wielding greaser named Mutt Williams comes looking for Jones to help him track down his mother, also kidnapped by the Russians, it isn’t long before Indy is drawn back into the conflict.
What follows is a slow unraveling of the film’s initial bounce and swagger. The film begins to feel less like a treasure hunt and more like a series of unending action sequences.
Part of Indiana Jones’s appeal is that he is an everyman hero who can be hurt and complains about the obstacles being thrown in his path. While there is a certain amount of that bruiser charm on display here (largely at the expense of star Harrison Ford’s advancing age), eventually you feel like there simply isn’t enough time between harrowing escapes and near-misses for Indy to reflect on his mortality in a humorous way. The pacing of the film gives neither the audience or our hero time to rest.
By the time the film reaches it’s ultimate conclusion, it all kind of feels like a blur. Less of a “whodunnit” and more of a “whatwuzthat?”
The performances in the film are all well done – especially Harrison Ford who inhabits Indiana Jones so thoroughly, it’s the most fun I’ve had watching him on screen in years. Shia LaBeouf comes off less annoying than I expected, toning down his more frantic actorly tics and zeroing in on the "not quite a nerd, not quite a hunk" niche he occupies so well.
But some of the characters feel perfunctory. Ray Winstone as a duplicitous adventurer adds nothing but dead-weight and false conflict to the proceedings. Karen Allen returns as Marion Ravenwood – Indiana Jones’s one, true love. But her contribution feels less like a contextual advancement of the plot but more of a "fill in the blank" role required to explain relationships between characters.
With these check marks in the minus column, the movie doesn’t fail completely. Even though I recognize some of the more awful, groan-inducing moments (Shia LaBeouf – Kind of the Monkeys, anyone?) the movie delivered the kind of entertainment I was looking for. In some ways, it ignites the imagination in unexpected ways.
For example, it was alluded that Jones spent his time between adventures operating behind enemy lines in World War II and was designated the Army rank of Colonel. Both my wife and I turned to each other at the same time and said”I want to see THAT movie!”
But, for what is is, Indiana Jones and The Kingdom of The Crystal Skull does not disappoint.
I think fanboys who are looking to pick apart every last detail of the movie won’t have a problem finding weaknesses in it’s armor. But, within it’s given context, how disappointed can you be? The sci-fi elements of the film fit within the 1950’s time period the movie takes place. The fantastic escapes and cartoonish villains really aren’t any worse than what Indy has faced in the past.
This is the double-edged sword of nostalgia. Some people will remember the original movies for being better than they were. Or, at least assume that Kingdom of Skull will always be the runt of the litter.
My biggest complaints have to do less with content and more with execution. Director Steven Spielberg swore up and down that the film would rely on practical effects and there is a little too much CGI for my taste in this picture. Some of the more knowing nods to past adventures could have been eliminated and the movie probably could have benefited from a little bit of a trim on its running time.
But overall? Fun is fun and Indiana Jones and The Kingdom of The Crystal Skull is an adventure I would line up for again in a heartbeat.
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Ah, it feels good to get back in the swing of things.
Real quick, thanks to Wes Molebash, Brandon J. Carr and Clay & Hampton Yount covering for me last week while I was away helping to see my Dad through his open heart surgery. I took off Monday as well and filled in with a review of Indiana Jones and The Kingdom of The Crystal Skull. We were having some site isues on Monday, so it was posted late.
For those of you who are wondering, we brought Dad home on Sunday, less than a week after his operation. Everything went better than expected. They were able to repair my Dad’s mitral valve and he was out of the ICU in less than 24 hours. I was amazed that they had him up on his feet and walking so soon after surgery.
Right now Dad is at home, building his strength back up. Even the little things wipe him out completely. But, fortunately, we found that he doesn’t have to do physical therapy and only needs to walk on a daily basis to help build him back up again. After 6 weeks, he’ll be clear to go back to work part time.
Everything leading up to the surgery was pretty scary. There was a lot of invariables. Turns out the surgery was the easy part. It’ll be a long road to recovery, but my Dad’s young age plays to his advantage and I know he’ll be up and around in no time.< I wanted to reiterate my thanks to everyone who sent positive messages of support. I really appreciated them. I wish I could respond to everyone individually. But, at this point, I'm just trying to get caught up. Thanks again. It means a great deal to me. ... Back to movies, I was able to catch Indiana Jones and The Kingdom of The Crystal Skull Friday night before Cami and I left for Rochester to visit my Dad. We left Henry with my in-laws for the weekend and it was a nice break for the two of us. As I mentioned in the review, I liked the film. I left feeling entertained and that the film - at least partially - lived up to the hype. HOWEVER, I'm not turning a blind eye to some of the more ostentatious "WTF" moments. Most notably during the jungle chase when Shia LaBeouf character gets knocked off a moving vehicle and gets tangled up in some hanging vines. In true, implausible fashion, it’s not long before he extracts himself from the situation by mimicking the CGI monkeys that have surrounded him by swinging vine to vine, Tarzan style. I turned to Cami during that scene and say “Boy, you can really see George Lucas’s Ewok-lovin’ mitts all over this one!”
There’s been a lot of hullaballoo on the internet about these credibility straining moments in KotCS and some of them I’m willing to give a pass on. But I haven’t talked to ANYONE who thought that vine-swinging sequence with the monkeys was kosher.
It’s symptomatic with the "everything and the kitchen sink" approach Spielberg took to the film. Truthfully, that whole jungle chase sequence is a perfect example. It’s not enough to have a chase sequence. You have to have a chase sequence where people are constantly falling off the roof of the car, rear-ending each other, throwing passengers from one car to the other, firing hood-mounted machine guns at each other, engaging in a 50 MPH sword fight with each other, nearly ramming each other off steep cliffs before finally ending up in a river and plunging down three impossibly large waterfalls.
Oh, yeah – and monkeys who know the difference between the greaser good guy and the Soviet dominatrix bad guy and will help in a fight.
Truthfully, if you want to talk overblown, don’t forget the CG gophers in the opening sequence of the movie. I don’t know why real gophers couldn’t have been used. CG gophers strip credibility from the film when their inclusion offers nothing of value. Do we REALLY need a CG gopher to give Harrison Ford a quizzical look after a harrowing escape? REALLY? Because guess what? That shot just cost $50,000.
It’s bloated and wasteful and indicative of filmmakers over reliance on this technology. Especially when the director vows up and down to use practical effects whenever possible in a year’s worth of interviews. If you’re going to use CG, at least make it so I can’t TELL if it’s CG!
I’m kind of beating up on the film a little bit. Actually, a lot – especially for a movie I professed to enjoy. I started to fall into the same trap during last night’s recording of The Triple Feature. If you missed that show, you can download it here. I encourage you to do so. We had a very lively exchange. I had a lot of fun.
Beyond that, I’ll leave you with an illustration I found over at the Digital Pimp Online forum. It comes from illustrator Jolly Jack and I think it sums things up nicely…
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May29
GUEST STRIP – TREVOR MUELLER
May 29th, 2008 |- Comics »
- Comics »
- Guest Strip
(6 votes, average: 7.67 out of 10)
Here’s something dumb I did.
So, you know yesterday I was all over the place thanking Wes Molebash, Brandon J. Carr and Clay & Hampton Yount for their guest strips and I completely forgot to thank two more people — Trevor Mueller and Tom Maciejewski.
Completely out of the graciousness of their own hearts, these two sent me guest strips while my Dad was in the hospital. I didn’t ask for them. They just saw a guy who was struggling a little bit and decided to chip in. And I ignored them.
My face is red.
So I’m making up for it now!
You’re reading Trevor’s strip today. Be on the lookout for Tom’s strip on Saturday. I wish I could give them a little more prominence, but I also wanted to get them into production while they were still timely. So, enjoy!
By the way, Trevor has three — count ’em THREE — different comics you can read over at his web site. Show him a little love.
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I would have been content to let the message I posted about my illness on Wednesday run throughout next week, but this guest strip from Josh Anderson was too timely – and too funny – to pass up. I love how he tossed Gordon and Joe into the mix. And, frankly, the hundred-yard-stare he gave Tom was pretty much how I was feeling for the last two days. Only clammier. Also, a chance to infect Shia LaBeouf? Priceless!
I got a couple of e-mail from people who were spooked when I said I was dying on Wednesday. Sorry about that. Didn’t mean to put the fear of God into you, or anything like that. Sometimes I forget the impact words have.
So, to clarify – NOT dying. Just felt like death.
I went to the doctor yesterday and it turns out I have acute tonsillitis. That sounds bad, like I have to have my tonsils removed, or something. Not the case. It’s basically an upper respiratory infection that causes white spots on the tonsils – and they’re filled with pus! Yum!
The good news is I’m no longer contagious and he has me on a steroid to reduce the swelling an antibiotic to kill the infection. As of this writing, I’ve already taken two doses and I feel much better. Not 100%, but not wincing from the back pain and migraines my body was delivering as part of the fever that was trying to get rid of the infection. So, yeah. Better.
I still plan on going to Wizard World Chicago this weekend. So if you’re in attendance, look me up at table #4308 on Artist’s Alley.
Oh, and be sure to send thanks to Josh Anderson for his guest comic by visiting his site Game U. I think you’ll like what you find there.
Thanks again for the well wishes and concern. I’ll see you all here on Monday!
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There are so many other things I could have done a comic about today.
For example, I could have talked about how I saw Step Brothers over the weekend and how much fun I had with that. Or I could have talked about something like Darren Aronofsky directing the Robocop reboot. Anything, really. My options are wide open.
But when Shia LaBeouf flips his SUV and is arrested on suspicion of D.U.I. – well, all your plans go out the window. Especially in my case when I’ve established myself as the anti-Shia guy. You expect me to say something.
Now, thankfully, Shia and the passengers in his car were not seriously hurt. Nor was anyone in the other vehicle he crashed into. LaBeouf was taken to Cedars-Sinai Medical Center and was treated for injuries to his left hand and knee, as well as a minor head injury. Obviously, if things had turned out differently, I wouldn’t be poking fun in this way.
I’m still a little sketchy about the whole thing. I certainly don’t want to come off like I’m celebrating the accident or LaBeouf’s potential for a downfall. That’s why it’s important to keep this in context.
Back in November of 2007 when I kicked off this whole anti-Shia thing as a means to replace Ben Affleck as the comic’s punching bag, I established that there was just something about LaBeouf that rubbed me the wrong way. Here’s what I said at the time:
I’m here to tell you that the kid is a fraud. And I think, secretly, there are some of you out there that agree. I’m planning on tapping into the vast undercurrent of LaBeouf hatred that’s out there and riding it all the way to the bank.
I don’t know what I don’t like about the kid. I’ve just never liked him. Admittedly, I didn’t know much about him as a person when he was starring in stuff like Charlies Angels: Full Throttle or Holes, but he just seemed way too cocky. He hadn’t done anything to earn the chip on his shoulder.
He seems like one of those kids that’s been pushed into show business by an over-zealous parent and they take it REALLY SERIOUSLY as a way to earn their parent’s love. As if being a professional or some kind of mini-adult will earn them more respect. Like Dakota Fanning or Haley Joel Osment, or something.
That’s fine. I appreciate an actor who is serious about their craft. But all of these actors started out as CHILD actors. And in order to perform at the level they do, you have to lobotomize a part of your childhood to do it. Let’s face it: That never turns out well.
I think what makes Shia particularly annoying is that he’s a sanctimonious hypocrite. In an interview with Entertainment Weekly, he derided the party-hard actors and actresses of his generation by saying that he isn’t a big partier and stays home with his friends instead of getting into trouble. Not two months later and Us Weekly reports a story about him gallivanting around Hollywood trying to pick up chicks.
Don’t get me wrong. If I was his age and making millions of dollars, I’d probably succumb to the temptation. But what I WOULDN’T do is go to the press and talk about how committed I am to acting and how stupid everyone else is for partying. Dumb, dumb, dumb Shia.
Now, this morning, The Chicago Tribune is reporting that LaBeouf was arrested in Chicago for trespassing after he refused to leave a Walgreens drug store! It doesn’t get any better than this! (Thanks to Josh Anderson for forwarding me the link).
I’ve got the whole week to make my case against Shia, but I have to admit that last news item couldn’t have come at a better time. Mark my words, kids – LaBeouf is going down!
Now, at lot of this was tongue-in-cheek and I really don’t wish the kid any harm. But, you gotta admit, I kind of called it.
Shia is 22 years-old. He’s still young and he’s gonna make mistakes. I kind of equate these last few run-in’s with the law to a kid going to college for the first time and completely running off the chain. I hope whatever is going on isn’t symptomatic of larger problems like alcoholism or anything else. I hope it’s just an overblown case of immaturity and the unfortunate glare of the media spotlight.
I think LaBeouf is within his right to go out and night and get crazy. If I was 22, loaded with cash and starred in some of the biggest franchise films of the century, I’d probably feel like celebrating, too. Heck, we can even overlook the hypocrisy of that EW interview where he claimed he was better than the rest of young Hollywood. Whatever.
Just… next time, man? Call a cab.
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Every once in a while the universe gives you an opportunity to correct a wrong. And – as unfortunate as the accident was – Morgan Freeman’s recent car crash in a weird way provided me the opportunity to make fun of myself after last week’s poorly received anti-Shia comic.
Again, however, I paint myself into the corner or “What if things had ended differently?!”Thankfully, as we all know by now, Mr. Freeman is in stable condition and expected to make a full recovery.
Interesting how fast the news spread on this one. People were sending me e-mails about it before I even had a chance to read the news. Of course, Mr. Freeman’s condition went from critical to stable and back and forth. I also find it odd how the news reports couldn’t seem to get it right regarding his injuries. I heard everything from broken arms and ribs to broken hands and feet.
We talked about this a little bit during Monday night’s Triple Feature podcast and I commented on how I thought it was cool that Freeman flipped a 1997 Nissan Maxima. In some way, I saw that as him "keeping it real." Turns out the car belonged to the passenger of the vehicle. I guess Freeman was driving her home. Who knows?
What matters is that everyone is recovering and doing well.
And that Morgan Freeman cannot be killed by conventional means.
Shifting gears for a moment, I’m in a bit of a situation.
If you happen to be one of my LiveJournal friends or Twitter followers, you know that I suffered a catastrophic failure last night in regards to my external hard drive. It’s a real problem. This hard drive contains every single Theater Hopper comic produced since 2003. Not to mention the work I was doing on Theater Hopper: Year Three and basically every other piece of art I’ve produced in relation to the site for the last five years
The drive also contains over 15,000 MP3 files, and all of our download photographs and videos. Henry walking, for example. Important stuff.
I don’t know what happened. The drive was working fine on Monday night. I tried firing it up on Tuesday to work on today’s comic and it wouldn’t connect. The light is on, so I know it’s getting power and the driver appears in the device manager so I know my desktop is at least aware of the external drive. But when it fires up, it clicks three times like it’s trying to turn over and then powers down.
I don’t know a lot about computers, but I know that clicking sound isn’t good.
I’m gathering consensus from around the internet and people are helping me troubleshoot it. Most everyone thinks that the drive has failed and I am screwed.
I’ve had a few suggestions like "Leave in the freezer for 8 hours, boot it up and then try to move the data over." Kind of sounds like a wives tale, but I’ve had at least two people suggest it. Problem is, even if it works, I don’t have enough storage anywhere else to move it to. More importantly, if an attempt is made, I cannot accept anything less than 100% recovery.
I really need your help with this. If you have any suggestions, please e-mail me at theaterhopper@hotmail.com. Even if it’s just suggesting a data recovery firm that you’ve worked with and had a good experience with. I’m completely directionless on this. I literally feel sick to my stomach.
Once I decide a course of action (which will probably be sending the drive to recovery) I’ll probably start some kind of fund raising drive or art auction. From what I’ve been told so far, data recovery doesn’t come cheap and I have no way to cover the costs right now. So, I guess keep an eye out for that in the future.
I appreciate your help and consideration. Have a great week and I’ll talk to you soon.
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