Posts Tagged ‘Satan’
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Nov18
THERE ARE WORSE THINGS TO ALIGN YOURSELF WITH
November 18th, 2002 |
(10 votes, average: 7.80 out of 10)
Whenever I do a comic with social commentary, one might be inclined to believe that real-life events are what inspired them.
The above scenario isn’t something that has happened to me personally, but coming from Iowa, it wouldn’t surprise me if it did. Sometimes I resent that our country was founded by puritanical nutjobs. I resent it further that they all seem to camp out in my backyard.
Today’s comic is more of a response to the overzealous Christian parents who organized book burning in regard to the immense popularity of the Harry Potter book series (and, subsequently, the popular movie sequel debuting in theaters this weekend).
I think the swipe paints itself pretty clearly. It’s okay to saturate yourself with violence and gore, but fantasy and magic are no-no’s. Do these parents prevent their kids from watching David Copperfield specials? Do they refuse to have their picture taken out of fears that it may “steal their souls”. Personally, I find Steven Segal movies the greater offense to God.
Obviously the Harry Potter franchise has done a lot to get kids back into reading. How can that be a bad thing? In an era of diminished imaginations – where cable television, video games and the Internet eat away at brain cells, why would you want to punish a kid for reading? I don’t have kids, but if I did, I’d hand over the freakin’ Necronomicon if it meant having a child capable of stringing together a few sentences of cohesive thought down the road.
That’s probably enough ranting, but it’s good to get that out.
I did get a chance to see Harry Potter and The Chamber of Secrets this weekend – after trying three times!
I went on Friday night around 7:00 to try and secure tickets for the late showing at 10:30. The idea was to avoid having to sit through the film with a bunch of screeching 10 year-olds. The plan worked only too well when we learned ALL of that evenings shows were sold out.
We tried again Saturday afternoon in hopes of catching a matinee. But again, all afternoon shows were sold out. Cami had to work in the evening, so that option was out.
The stars finally aligned when I went to the theater AGAIN and purchased two tickets for a 7:15 showing. This time I had the foresight to go in and buy the tickets at noon. Geeze!
Although the film was long, I felt it was well worth the effort. I liked it better than the first movie because it got all of the clumsy introductions out of the way. I hope to have a review up sometime soon, but then again, I promised a review of Punch-Drunk Love a few weeks ago. These things tend to slip through my fingers.
As I mentioned in Friday’s blog, I bought Episode II on DVD last week – only to find that I purchased the full screen version and not the wide screen as the Gods command.
Fortunately, I had some luck sticking it to the man when I went to exchange it. Toys ‘R Us wasn’t the place where I made the trade, however. In fact, they were so useless, I wouldn’t wipe my ass with their customer service.
Where I struck gold was at Target of all places. I walk into the store with an OPEN copy of the DVD and tell them my whole sob story about how I didn’t know it was the full-screen version until I started watching it. Could I exchange it?
To my shock, the woman behind the counter said YES! At TARGET! The place my friend Nick gripes about having to hand over blood and urine samples when you want to make a return.
The woman told me to grab the version I wanted, and she would ring me up. The beauty of this situation is that I bought the full-screen version for $9.99 at Toys ‘R Us. The widescreen version at Target cost $15.99 – it would have been $22.99 if it weren’t on sale. I ended up making money on the deal!
Of course now I am constant fear of reprisal from the great, red bulls eye. They’re probably watching me right now. It’s most likely a grand mistake to admit my crimes in such a public forum. Let’s just say if I’m taking away by the retail tribunals, I won’t be surprised. If Wednesday’s comic is a bit late, like 5 to 10 years late, you’ll know why.
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So I’m continuing to pound the living tar out of Kangaroo Jack. As far as I’m concerned, there isn’t enough satire in the universe to compensate for the evil this film has cast over the Earth. I guess I’m just trying to do my part – however small.
Some of you may or may not be familiar with Jerry Bruckheimer, the target of today’s strip. He’s basically your typical big-shot movie producer, cramming his vision down the throats of an American movie-going public. Here’s a picture of the guy so we all have a point of reference:
Man, what an ugly mug. That’s the kind of face only a highly paid call girl could love.
To his credit, he’s been the money behind several of our culture’s largest film iconography. Top Gun and Flashdance come to mind. But to his detriment, he’s also made a string of lousy blow ’em up pictures like Con Air and Gone in 60 Seconds.
The idea for today’s strip came from an old high school friend who wrote me a prophetic e-mail in response to last Friday’s strip. This, mind you, was before Kangaroo Jack went on to do boffo box office over the weekend.
“Personally, I subscribe to the theory that the only reason this film [Kanagroo Jack] was made was for Jerry Bruckheimer to test his “midas touch” theory. You know, how it seems that a disproportionate amount of the crappy movies he makes end up with big grosses… So he does this: finds a crappy script, puts Jerry O’Connell in a starring role, sticks his name on it as producer and laughs at all the rubes who pay to see it. We’ll have to see how it does.”
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I kind of ignored his message at the time, but realized how incredibly profound it was after the weekend tally.
“What did I tell ya?” he wrote the following Wednesday “Bruckheimer made some sort of Faustian bargain and it is only a matter of time before he is able to buy the world with his ill gotten gains. Then we’ll all be sorry.”
From there, the strip was basically standing inches from my face screaming at incredible volume. So thanks, Eric for the fodder!
In other new relating to the apocalypse, I received an e-mail from a “certain Carmike employee” (who wished to remain nameless) informing me that Kangaroo sold out at the theater he worked at not once… but twice.
This is seriously bumming me out.
On a brighter note, is anyone appreciating the awesome work going on at No Pants Tuesday and Jayhoo & Jawhoo lately? Both Zach and Mark are putting out some excellent art lately. If you’re not down with it, you’re missing out on some quality stuff. Zach’s color and shading make my strip look like it’s been fleshed out with a Lite Brite. Mark’s composition and visual story telling make me wish I wasn’t such a slave to my four panel rule. Great stuff. Check it out.
And lastly, it’s been very interesting to monitor the results of the poll we have going now. There’s been a pretty strong response since posting it on Wednesday. Almost 100 visitors have taken a nanosecond and made their selection.
I guess I wasn’t surprised that the majority of you want to help, but have no money (or, more likely don’t have a credit card to make a PayPal transaction possible). But I was kind of take aback to learn that in second place, you would want t-shirts. I figured stickers would come way before that, and here they are at the bottom of the list.
You’ve put me in a tough spot, people. A sticker would have been easy. Slap a logo on some adhesive paper, laminate it and off you go. But a t-shirt? That means I have to come up with a concept. And I don’t even know where to start.
I’m kinda wishing I didn’t include that “I have money, but refuse to donate” option in there. Or at least worded it differently. Oh well.
I hope everyone enjoys their weekend!
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