Posts Tagged ‘rant’
8 items.
So the first week of Theater Hopper has come to a close. I have to say it’s been a moderate success. Thanks to everyone who has visited the site. Here’s to many more hits in my counter. Er, I mean… laughs and ever-loving friendship! Yea, that’s the ticket!
Today’s strip is basically an indication of how badly my wife doesn’t want to see XXX.
That’s right, I said wife. I really haven’t made any attempt to explain it in the past, but like most strips, the characters are representative of real people in my life. The blond haired fella is supposed to be me, the woman (obviously) is my wife Cami. She asked to be in a strip and she got her wish.
The brown haired dude you saw in the last two strips was the toon alter-ego of my good friend Jared. As far as I know, he never asked to be immortalized in four-color glory, but sometimes life throws us curve balls, y’know?
Whether or not these are the names of the characters, I’ll leave that up to you to decide. I may end up giving them different names down the line – I may just leave them nameless. If you have an opinion in the matter, post it in the forums. Better still, you can now e-mail me at theaterhopper@hotmail.com. I finally got Microsoft Outlook to work, so I can now receive all your comments.
Speaking of which, if you have any suggestions on how to make the site better, I’m more than willing to listen. I’m thinking about adding a section underneath the blog area for movie news. If you can think of any other features I can add, send them in.
One last bit of business and then I’ll let you go about your merry way.
I’ve got to give major shout-outs to a few people who linked to me in their news blogs and for whom I would like to return the favor. Each of them run awesome strips and you need to check them out immediately.
Muchos gracias to:
Zach Miller of No Pants Tuesday
Zach of Saturday Morning Breakfast Cereal
Mike and Aric of Fish Strips
Sean of Force Monkeys
Regular gracias to these fellas for being such extra nice guys:
Eric Drobile of Mall Monkeys
David Stanworth of Snafu
Carrington Vanston of Movie Punks
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Mar31
I guess I shouldn’t be surprised that Head of State was number one at the box office this weekend. Considering the world climate, it makes sense that audiences would go see comedies. I guess I just hate to see Chris Rock find success with such pandering material. He’s starting to become the Jennifer Lopez of urban comedies – i.e. A performer I once respected who gets caught up in producing, directing, writing, whatever and ends up churning out the same predictable formula-driven dreck.
I know everyone thought he was great a few years ago when he had his HBO special Bring The Pain, but that was way back in ’96. Bigger and Blacker was in ’99, but not as impressive.
People often compare Rock to Eddie Murphy. I think he should take a page out of his book and do a concert movie like Raw featuring his stand up material. I know we all have a bad taste in our mouth after Martin Lawerence in Run Tel Dat, but if anyone can make it work, Rock can. He’s too good a talent to dry up in cozy demographic land.
I’d continue with my rant, but the other half was already covered by the strip. So we’ll let that one stand on it’s own two feet.
Spent this weekend watching both of MICHAEL Moore’s previous documentaries. I had seen both Roger and Me as well as The Big One before, but Cami became interested after Moore won his Oscar for Bowling for Columbine.
I never got a chance to see Bowling for Columbine in theaters, so I have to wait until it comes out on video. I regret that. I know I would have really enjoyed it. I remember getting several e-mails at the time it was in release from people urging me to see it. “YOU would love it,” they said. Why didn’t I get up off my lazy ass. The world will never know.
I’d still like to take a swing at seeing Spirited Away. The film serves as a GREAT example of what Oscar gold can do for a picture. Before it won it’s trophy for Best Animated Picture, the movie was only being shown in 7 theaters nationwide. After the win, Disney (the distributor, not the animators) re-released it into 800 theaters. Luckily, our best independent theater – The Fluer Cinema (check out their web site design; it’s killer)- got a hold of it. Gotta check it out before it moves on.
For those of you who are curious as to how things went in Kansas City this weekend at Planet Comicon, things couldn’t have been better! I had a blast!
Jared and I took off around 7AM Saturday morning (no problem for me since my beagle Truman decided to get up at 4AM) and got into K.C. right around 10 when the convention started. We wondered around the floor for a while, just getting our bearings and checking out the deals.
Around 11AM I finally worked up the nerve to go say high to Mike and Jerry from Penny Arcade. They had a lot of fans standing around their booth. I was surprised how many of them brought cardboard tubes for them to sign – a sign of reverence toward the “Chronicle of The Cardboard Tube Samurai” they recently ran. One guy even brought a panel to his computer case and asked Mike to draw his character Div on the side of it.
Man… I wish I had thought of that.
It was good talking to Mike and Jerry. I told them about Theater Hopper, but neither had heard of it. I gave them my URL in hopes they would check out the site. I told them in person that their success had a lot to do with inspiring me to start my operation – and it’s true. I don’t expect to ever match their success, but here are two guys, roughly my age, who carved out a niche for themselves that tens of thousands of fans respond to vigorously. Who among you can say the same? I can’t.
I could never imagine Theater Hopper growing to a level of success where appearances at comic book conventions would be either welcomed or warranted. I don’t even know what I would do if placed in that situation. Behind that desk, greeting people that come to see you. You shake hands and say thank you to these people for making you popular. How weird. I would be terrified that I would be letting them down in some way.
That’s the trouble with the Internet. It’s really easy to mask the behind-the-scenes stuff if you want to. People can build up your image to suit their imaginations. What if I don’t meet their expectations?
But Mike and Jerry seemed to handle it really well. I didn’t get a picture with them, but I got a picture OF them. Unfortunately, there are about 20 more pictures left on the roll, so it will probably be a while before I can get my shots on the site.
I didn’t get pictures with any of the other celebrities in attendance. Mostly because none of them warranted shucking out $25 bucks for the “honor”. I’m sure Lou Ferrigno is a nice guy and everything, but what do you say to him? “What was it like being painted green 30 years ago?”
The Playmates in attendance weren’t that thrilling, either. In fact, they were down-right depressing. I know one of the two was Playmate of the Year at some point. I guess within that “industry”, that’s probably the pinnacle of achievements. But to find yourself signing autographs at a comic book convention 20 years later all used up and wrinkled? Sad. I suppose that’s what you get when you base your entire earning potential on your genetics – or silicone, or whatever…
Anyway, that’s my report for the forefront of geekdom. I promise I’ll get back to the movie stuff from here on out.
I will, however, say this: I snagged a killer deal on some old Iron Man comic books. I found a dealer who was selling them for 50 cents a piece – good condition, too. Keep in mind, these books were selling for 75 cents back in the late 80’s when they were originally published. That’s quite a savings!
I don’t know if that’s a comment on my superior bargain-hunting skills, or a sad commentary on the state of the collectors market, but whatever. Iron Man is the coolest. Don’t let anyone tell you otherwise.
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I’m sure to most of you, today’s comic is an ugly swipe at the American Pie movies. But I can attest that everything said in the 3rd panel rings very true to my ears. This is my honest-to-God interpretation of these movies, and I’m sticking by it.
I won’t deny that the original American Pie had something going for it. The amount of teenage sex they threw up onto the screen wasn’t anything audiences had seen since the hey-days of Porky’s.
But I still can’t hide my resentment.
I’m not a prude and I’m not uptight, but watching these movies makes me feel like I missed something in high school. And, high school being a touchy subject for me, I don’t like being asked to drudge up those memories for the sake of “entertainment”.
For me, and like a lot of you, high school was a daily battle and a boring chore all rolled into one. I had my share of friends and many varied interests. I wasn’t a shut in, picked on or angry at anyone.
But after four years, I was sick of navigating the sea of morons that surrounded me and found the experience without challenge, and worse, a total waste of time.
I don’t miss any of the people I went to high school with. The ones I still want to see, I make a point to see on a regular basis. The rest of them can go back to their lousy waitress jobs at Applebee’s. You won’t see me at any reunion.
I suppose in it’s own way, it’s sad that my high school experience still takes up this kind of real estate in my brain. At 25, I should probably be past it. But, well… here we are.
To that end, the makers of American Pie can rightly jump off the nearst cliff. I have no interest in seeing the third installment – American Wedding – when it comes out on Friday. I think it’s a cheap grab at more money by forcing these “BIG LIFE EVENTS” into the plot. I have more to say about it, but I’m saving it for Friday. I have another American Pie diss on deck.
Never the less, I’m sure Cami will drag me to see it. She’ll claim it’s curiosity, but why lie? Her high school experience was much more enlightened and satisfying than mine.
I can’t complain too much about high school. After all, it is where I met Cami. But so much of high school was just mental debris. I wish I could brush away the bad stuff and focus on the good, but I’m much more effective at that in the present.
Some parts of your past should remain ignored.
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May22
GUEST STRIP – EDDIE BOWLEY
May 22nd, 2006 |- Comics »
- Comics »
- Guest Strip
(14 votes, average: 5.21 out of 10)
Today’s guest strip comes to us from a very clever chap from across the pond – Eddie Bowley, the creator of Edd Egg. I don’t want to spoil too much of what Eddie is doing here, but I strongly encourage you to go to the effort of "decoding" his guest strip. It not only tackles the "controversy" surrounding The Da Vinci Code in a very clever way, but it also makes me wish I had thought of the joke first!
Eddie did an excellent job of capturing Tom’s stentorian sermons, so I was doubly impressed by the effectiveness of this comic. I just love reading the comics from people who really seem to "get" the characters. It makes me feel like when I’m writing them, things are less random. People understand who they are – their likes and dislikes.
Or, as Eddie’s comic implies, perhaps Eddie is a genius and my attempts at character development are highly transparent to him!
In either case, be sure to check out Edd Egg and come back here on Wednesday for more guest strip goodness!
Side note: There is a good chance that Cami and I are in Cannes, France as you read this. Part of our vacation tour takes us to Nice, France and we found out that Cannes is only a half hour to an hour away. So we’re going to try and get a train ticket to Cannes and wander around for the day. The film festival is going on right now, so if we see any celebrities, we’ll take pictures and post them here. We’re hoping to get into one of the movies playing at the festival for bragging rights. But I don’t know how likely that is! So what, really? We’ll be in Cannes during the festival! That’s a big score for a movie buff such as myself!
At any rate, thanks for checking in with us! See you here on Wednesday!
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Yesterday the Academy of Motion Picture Arts and Sciences announced that it would be widening the field of nominees for Best Picture from 5 to 10.
When I first heard the news I though, “Hmm, that’s interesting.” But the more I think about it, the more upset I become.
This isn’t the first time the Academy has nominated 10 films for Best Picture. In fact, it was par for the course when the awards show was created back in the 1930s and was a practice they continued well into the 1940s.
But the big difference these days is that there are FAR fewer studios producing movies and a much smaller number of films being released each year. Also, the Oscar’s weren’t broadcast until 1953. So what’s the real reason behind widening the field to 10?
Follow the money.
If you ask me, this is all one huge money-making scheme. 10 films get nominated and now 10 films are “must see” in the theater. If you don’t catch them in the theater, now studios can slap the “Oscar nominated” title on the DVD and claim their film is an avatar of quality. If you don’t catch it on DVD, maybe you’ll watch the Oscar broadcast because – hey – something is new and different! Nevermind all of the entertainment media that will now be forced to write about, speculate, categorize, rank and rate 10 Best Picture nominees.
Remember the Oscars last year when they didn’t have a host and instead had actors come up and give little speeches to the nominees about how great they are. Remember that Zac Efron was one of those presenters?
Yeah… this 10 nominations thing is just another gimmick, but on a much larger scale.
My question is, if they’re going to nominate 10 films for Best Picture, then why not 10 nominees for Best Director? How many films have won Best Picture without their directors winning in their categories? Why not 10 Best Actors, Best Actresses?
Some of you probably think that 10 Best Picture nominations is a good thing. Would Wall-E or The Dark Night have been nominated last year under this structure? Will this open the door to more independent movies being recognized by the Academy and a larger audience? Perhaps.
But if they’re going to widen the field this far, then the Academy needs to get ride of “ghettoized” categories like “Best Foreign Language Film,” “Best Animated Feature Film” and “Best Documentary Feature.” All of them are ridiculous categories to begin with and treats their genre’s like second class citizens. Any of the films nominated in those categories can stand shoulder-to-shoulder with films from other genres.
Well, except Bolt. Seriously, what were they thinking nominating that last year?
What the Academy fails to realize – especially when they attempt these naked gimmicks to boost their ratings – is that movie goers haven’t lost interest in because they’ve become bored with the tradition. If anything, that’s THE REASON they huddle around their television each year.
No. People have become disenfranchised from the Oscar’s because their choices reflect no sincerity, originality or taste. That, coupled with the fact that a Best Picture nomination has become a political campaign among the studios to jockey for a position at the end of the year that will increase their odds of the Academy (and their narrow memories) to nominate their films.
The Reader, for example, was sent to theaters in limited release on December 10 to meet the Oscar deadline but wasn’t released wide until January 9. By then, reviews were ancient, no one was talking about it and demand for the film was nil. It barely reached middle America except in a few art houses. How are we supposed to get excited for a film like this when there is no opportunity to see it?
If this change results in sincere diversity among the Best Picture nominees, then I will happily eat crow. If Up is nominated alongside The Hurt Locker, no one will be more pleased than me.
But I see no reason for the Academy’s decision to remotely change how Hollywood does business. The studios have a formula and they’re sticking to it. The rest of us are just along for the ride.
What is your reaction to the Academy’s announcement? Are you excited for the change of pace or do you thing the Academy has an ulterior motivation. Do 10 Best Picture nominations dilute the value of the Oscars or is the trophy bragging rights and not an indicator of true quality?
Leave your comments below! Let’s get a dialogue going!
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This comic stems from another one of our conversations on The Triple Feature this Monday. It’s largely a rant that I tied off with a punchline here, but went unchecked during the recording of the podcast.
I’m greatly annoyed by the remake of Fame. Not because I’m a fan of the 1980 original or even the lousy TV spin off that spawned from its success. As a matter of fact, I hate the movie Fame and pretty much cite it as the flash point of a generation deluded into thinking that they were amazing singers/dancers/actors just waiting to be discovered.
More and more, the culture seems to advocate fame and popularity by birthright rather than by hard work and talent. I don’t know if it is a uniquely American expectation or not, but I’ve noticed an upswing in the last few years. People seem to fall ass-backwords in to fame with increasing regularity. Blame YouTube, I guess.
With that in mind, will a remake of Fame even resonate with today’s audiences? Is having talent and a work ethic even attractive to a culture that is willing to accept humiliation on national television if it means they get their 15 minutes of infamy?
You can stand in line for 18 hours to sing for Simon Cowell. If you’re good enough, you might get to go to Hollywood. But even if you’re a piss-poor singer, maybe they’ll throw you onto the highlight reel of all the dismal failures so America can have a good laugh at your expense. So what, right? As long as someone is paying attention. William Hung took that lack of self-awareness all the way to the bank.
One could argue that this comic is its own desperate plea for attention. I would be hard pressed to argue with them. Am I proud of the success I’ve found with Theater Hopper? Of course. Could I do with a little more exposure? Well, sure. I mean, who wouldn’t want that? So I’m just as guilty as everyone else.
But then, I’m not exactly the audience this remake of Fame is shooting for.
So if you’re a teenage girl with aspirations to become a great singer, are you going to watch a movie like Fame that promotes the concept of hard work and sacrifice or are you going to tune in to American Idol three times a week an nurture the fantasy that maybe you too can be America’s most popular karaoke singer?
Food for thought, I guess.
What about the rest of you? Any aspirations to see Fame this weekend? Are you a fan of the original movie?Do you think a remake can possibly bring anything new to the table? Leave your comments below!
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I know I’ve been posting a lot about comic book movies, so please excuse this rant. But X-Men: First Class is a mess.
First a little bit of a recap. Two days ago and awkwardly posed (and obviously Photoshopped) picture of the cast showed up on MSN before quickly being taken down. It was for naught as the photo made it’s way around the internet in no time.
From left to right, it features Michael Fassbender as Magneto, Rose Byrne as Moira MacTaggert, January Jones as Emma Frost, Jason Flemyng as Azazel, Nicholas Hoult as Beast, Lucas Till as Havok, Zoë Kravitz as Angel Salvadore, Jennifer Lawrence as Mystique and James McAvoy as Professor X.
As a result, Fox ended up distributing 3 new photos from production to media outlets yesterday that show the cast in more traditional clothing, Kevin Bacon as Sebastian Shaw chatting it up with Jones’s Emma Frost and a quaint shot of McAvoy and Fassbender playing chess.
Serviceable photos, but a little ho-hum. As bad as the leaked cast photo was, at least it gave us something to sink our teeth into. In fact, they kind of make X-Men: First Class look… well, boring.
That brings us to today. Now we have a conversation with director Matthew Vaughn who was so incensed about the original promo shot being leaked, he reached out to SlashFilm and provided them with a pair of HIS OWN exclusive images – including one of Fassbender wearing his Magneto helmet.
“I freaked out on them yesterday,” said Vaughn. “I don’t know where the hell that came from. I don’t think it’s a Fox image. It’s not a pre-approved image. When I found out, I said, ‘What the f*** is this s***?’ and Fox is running around trying to figure out what happened as well. I agree. It’s like a bad Photoshop, which maybe it was by someone. It didn’t reflect the movie. I was shocked when I saw it. I was like ‘Jesus Christ’…”
Vaughn goes on in the interview to assert that he loves the X-Men, that they are not bastardizing the concept, that the tone of the film is serious, more realistic and basically the most awesome thing since sliced bread.
Pardon me if this sounds like a load of crap.
Clearly Vaughn and Fox are scrambling to adjust perception of the film in the wake of the leaked cast photo. That’s admirable. They’re trying to manage expectations for the film and that leak undermined it.
But at the same time, I can’t help but think all of this scurrying around is nothing but a huge cluster-eff and it really hasn’t done much to change my perception of the film.
I understand it, the plot revolves around Professor X and Magneto jointly establishing their “School For Gifted Youngsters” and the ideological differences that drive them – and the student body – apart. Framed within the context of the social upheaval of the 1960’s this makes sense.
But it over-complicates things.
Why do we need Angel Salvadore and Azazel in the mix? Modern characters that even most comic book fans aren’t familiar with. For that matter, why do we need Havok or Mystique?
What’s wrong with telling the origin story of the X-Men and using Cyclops, Jean Grey, Iceman, Angel and Beast? Why does there have to be this manufactured conflict or behind-the-scenes view of the school’s foundation that depicts the how and why of Magneto and Professor X’s falling out?
In the words of Patton Oswalt, “I don’t give a s*** where the things I love come from! I just love the things I love!”
Mostly I think I’m worried about Fox’s flimsy adherence to continuity. I don’t need the movies to be exactly like the books, but Fox seems to have trouble following character development in their own films.
In X-Men 2, Hank McCoy (AKA Beast) had a cameo in human form as a mutant rights activist. In X-Men 3, he shows up in his more well-known furry blue form and is played by Kelsey Grammar. If the leaked promo shot is to be believed, Beast shows up blue and furry almost 20 years prior to the events of X-Men 2. Um, okay.
In the comics, Havok is the younger brother of Cyclops. But in Wolverine: Origins, we see Cyclops recruited by Professor X while he’s still in high school. So I guess I’ll be interested to see how they explain that – if at all.
I’ll also be interested to see if they make any mention of Emma Frost’s relationship to Silver Fox – a plot contrivance that was also laid bare by Wolverine: Origins. Or are they just going to continue doing what they want?
Vaughn seems to hint as much.
“I’d say this is more like Casino Royale than [JJ Abrams] Star Trek. If you think about it, Casino Royale just totally rebooted Bond — they kept what they wanted and got rid of what didn’t work. You sort of saw Bond become a double O for the first time and yet it didn’t seem to matter [what they changed]. I think my rule is to make a stand alone movie that is as good as possible and do as many nods and winks towards the comics and the other films, but not get tied up in knots worrying about that.”
So, in other words, another hatchet job that will leave fans of the comics dissatisfied and Bryan Singer’s X-Men 2 the high water mark of the franchise.
What’s your take to the pictures that have been released? What do you anticipate from X-Men: First Class? Are you optimistic about the film or do you have reservations? Do you think Fox and Vaughn can salvage the negative emerging perception of the film? Leave your comments below!
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Aug08
GUEST STRIP – WILSON PARKER
August 8th, 2012 |- Comics »
- Comics »
- Guest Strip
(6 votes, average: 8.17 out of 10)
I gotta hand it to Wilson Parker. His guest comic today felts totally in-sync with the kind of bizarre rants that I would not only produce for the comic, but like debate in real life with friends.
I also think Wilson hit on a universal truth about the three-breasted prostitute scene from the original Total Recall. If you’re not going to at least try to improve on the original, what’s the point?
I don’t know about the rest of you, but that scene left an indelible mark on my childhood. When I was growing up, we didn’t go to the movies very often, but we would rent stuff on occasion. Christmas was a big at-home movie watching holiday for us. My Dad would rent four or five movies and after we’d open presents, we’d watch them.
One year, he rented Total Recall. Now, let’s see… Total Recall came out in 1990, so I would have been 13 or 14 years-old at the time. Kind of an important time in a young man’s development.
Lo and behold, it’s the three-breasted hooker scene and I’m watching this movie ON CHRISTMAS with my Dad… AND my Mom.
You know when you’re younger and you watch a movie with your parents with embarrassing content? You want to crawl under a rock and die. That scene was my first exposure to that. Heck, I can remember a few year’s later when Cami and I were dating. We watched the original Austin Powers with my folks and I remember being mortified during the scene at the end where Austin and Agent Kensington hook up.
Maybe I’m just sensitive.
Incidentally, Wilson has a comic of his own called Unwinder’s Tall Comics. I highly encourage you to check him out and say thanks for this fantastic guest strip. Thanks, Wilson!
Switching gears, I was actually kind of interested in seeing the remake of Total Recall. The cast looked interesting and I’m really starting to appreciate Colin Ferrell as a genre actor. But the reviews haven’t been encouraging. For the most part they say the movie just kind of sits there. Not good – especially for an action movie.
But then director Len Wiseman is no Paul Verhoeven. That’s like comparing Dear Abby to Hunter S. Thompson. It’s simply impossible to out-weird that gonzo Dutch bastard.
Switching gears again, I wanted to address something that should have happened this week… but didn’t.
Sunday was Theater Hopper’s 10th anniversary. The milestone felt pretty underwhelming to me. Frankly, I didn’t realize it was the 10th anniversary until a day later.
It’s funny, because an anniversary is something I used to make a pretty big deal about on the site. I remember the 7th anniversary coming and going with more fanfare.
Perhaps I didn’t make a big deal about it because Monday was the day the comic was supposed to end. Obviously, that didn’t happen.
I’ve outlined the reasons why in earlier blog posts. I basically miscalculated how many comics I would need to finish the story – even though I had been producing double-sized comics for several weeks. But, yeah. I blew the deadline.
I kind of wonder if it’s self-sabotage. But it’s not. It’s just poor planning. So you guys are the benefactors of my poor planning. Revel in it.
I’d say I have maybe 5 or 6 more comics until I wrap things up. When I do, I hope you guys will be there to send Theater Hopper out with a bang. I’ll be sure to keep you updated as doomsday draws closer through Facebook and Twitter.
As for this week’s comic, I’m working on it. It’s a single-panel strip. But there’s a lot of action and detail I need to build into it, so it’s taking longer.
I’ll be glad when it’s done, though. Because it means I can stop adding fire and smoke effects to everything. That stuff takes a long time!
Thanks again to Wilson for the great guest comic and tiding everyone over with teh funniez. I appreciate it!
See you all soon!
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