Posts Tagged ‘Orlando Bloom’
7 items.
Much like Chris Tucker seems only able to perform in Rush Hour movies, Orlando Bloom seems only capable of taking a role where the brandishing of antiquated weaponry is a requirement. Be it longbow, sword or musket – Bloom is your man!
It’s a fairly commonplace assertion that Bloom has cast himself in the mold of a modern Errol Flynn – having taken roles in The Lord of the Rings trilogy, Pirates of the Caribbean and it’s sequels, Troy and Kingdom of Heaven. I don’t think is a totally negative thing to aspire to. Quite frankly, the movies are sorely lacking in brave adventure and derring-do. If someone were to come along and revitalize the persona, why not Bloom?
Okay, he’s a little bit pretty. Alright, not just pretty – but MAN pretty. Not the kind of rakish rouge you would expect to swing in from a rope and save you. But I suppose you take what you get.
I’ve been very interested in seeing Elizabethtown since I first saw the trailers. This is one of those movies where I thought it came out two weeks ago and then was really disapointed when it didn’t. Then I thought it came out again last week and was disapointed again. I really need to read the one-sheet posters for release dates much closer.
I’m excited pretty much because any movie with Cameron Crowe’s name on it is a "must-see" in my book. Between Say Anything…, Singles and Almost Famous, the man’s bitter-sweet storytelling hits me right where I live. I can do without Jerry Maguire and Vanilla Sky, but that’s why pencils have erasers, right?
I found it curious to learn that Crowe had Bloom in mind from the onset as his protagonist. When it looked like Bloom couldn’t do the role, he brought on another man pretty up-and-comer Ashton Kutcher to fill the role. I think this would have made the movie much less interesting for me. Good think Crowe thought Kutcher didn’t have any chemistry with Kirsten Dunst and fired him. Then again, cardboard boxes have more chemistry than Kirsten Dunst, so maybe it was just wish fulfillment on Crowe’s part to dump Kutcher when Bloom became available.
Elizabethtown is interesting in that I think it provides Bloom an opportunity to prove something he hasn’t tried before. That’s always exciting.
:: switching gears ::
I would be remiss if I didn’t take this opportunity to again mention that I will stop selling all t-shirts, hoodies and baby doll tees from the store on October 31. Leave a note here now means that it will stay up until Monday. That’s what they call "saturation," kids.
At any rate, three of the designs will be retired forever. So if you want "Under Construction," "Emerging" or "Truman in a Purse" now is the time to get them. After the 31st, the won’t be available ever again!
As for the other shirts – they’ll come back at some point, I just don’t know when. So maybe you’re thinking someone might enjoy a "Spoiler" t-shirt for a November birthday or maybe for the holidays. Best to grab them now because I don’t know if I can make them available by then.
I need to let you know that part of the reason I’m closing off this section of the store is so I can get caught up on orders. But the bigger reason is so I can begin work on a new book collecting the first year of Theater Hopper strips.
I’m having some trouble trying to decide how to distribute the information. Whether it’s one large book about 180 pages and retailing for $20 or splitting the content into two volumes of 90 pages each with the release dates spaced apart and retailing for $10.
There has been some debate about it in the THorum with more specifics than I can get into here. There is also a poll attached. I’d love to hear your feedback if you consider yourself someone interested in buying a Theater Hopper book. If you’re not comfortable posting in the THorum, I am also receptive to e-mails.
Thanks.
[ No Comments ]
Due to the technical difficulties that prevented me from doing a strip on Wednesday, I haven’t really picked up a pencil since completing Monday’s strip. I feel a little rusty! Remember kids, that’s why it’s important to draw every day.
Anyway, feeling like I tried to put a lot into today’s comic and I have stayed up well past my bed time, this won’t be much of a blog. Just take heart in the fact that I have my new 19" flat screen LCD Samsung monitor and I love it. I love it enough to post pictures of it on the internet for you to ogle at:
I always get really self-conscious drawing celebrities. You’d think for a comic about movies and pop-culture, I would have a more refined sense of caricature. Nope, not really. I maintain that pretty much all of my character designs are the same, I just give them different haircuts.
I ∗do∗ think my rendition of Cameron Crowe turned out pretty well. But does that play to anyone who isn’t a cinephile? I mean, how familiar is the general population with the physically appearance of a director? I mean if he isn’t Spielberg, Scorsese or Hitchcock?
At any rate, I’ll be back later with a more thorough blog. In the meantime, why don’t you vote for Theater Hopper at Webcomics List to see my sketch of Legolas from The Lord of the Rings trilogy? I think that one came out pretty nice. Legolas of course being the filter through which I view all of Orlando Bloom’s subsequent roles.
Enjoy!
[ No Comments ]
In case you’re wondering who that guy is in the last panel, it’s supposed to be Elizabethtown director Cameron Crowe. I drew him once before not last Friday, but the Friday before that. Crowe is such a mild-mannered guy, I thought it would be funny to depict him committing a felony.
If you still don’t know anything about Cameron Crowe, don’t worry. Tom doesn’t seem to know much about his abductor, either.
As you may have surmised, Cami and I saw Elizabethtown this weekend and were not pleased. I was looking for a soapbox to rant about it, then remembered I have this comic. My illustrated avatar doesn’t typically breech the fourth wall so directly in these situations, but I thought it made sense that he talk to "you" in the sense of the audience since his/my displeasure with the movie was so great.
I wanted to like this movie. I really wanted to like this movie. In fact, when we left the theater and Cami was actually ANGRY about the time we just spent watching it, I swung hard in the opposite direction – Playing Devil’s Advocate to the point where Satan himself came to me and said "Dude, seriously. It was a bad movie. Stop speaking up for it in my name. It’s not good for business."
To me, the three acts of the film played like three separate movies. The first act dealing with Drew’s corporate life and his failure. The second detailing the harmless eccentricities of Southern people and the third capturing Drew’s cross-country trek back to Oregon. It seemed like barely any of these arcs related to each other. I feel in love with the third act. If they could have condensed the first two acts and expanded the third, I would have been much more interested in that.
There were so many details about the movie that I think were overlooked. In addition to the ones mentioned in the comic (which are the most glaring), what about the 737 that Drew takes into Kentucky – it’s totally empty! No plane that large would ever be that low on passengers. Not even on a red eye. Not even on a crappy airline. Disbelief NOT suspended!
Kristen Dunst’s character gives up a trip to Hawaii to be with Drew during his crisis even though they don’t know each other. Why even mention that at all? Are we supposed to be impressed that she gave up so much to be with this stranger? Giving up a weekend to hang around this guy would be enough!
Why the hell wouldn’t Drew’s mother fly to Elizabethtown to retrieve her husband? Yes, I understand she was in shock. Yes, I understand that she felt his family didn’t like her. But if she loved him to the degree that she would perform an embarrassing tap dance routine in front of them, she couldn’t have gotten on the plane sooner?
The wake hosted in the hotel ballroom with Drew’s cousin’s band playing "Freebird" seemed incredibly cloying and ridiculous – especially in the light of the huge prop bird catching fire at exactly the right moment and various members of the audience laughing and scampering about in slow motion as the sprinkler system burst. Of course the band continues to play, stomping around in pools of water on the stage and their instruments do not electrify them to a crisp.
At a critical juncture in the movie, Drew attempts to break off his relationship with Kristen Dunst’s character and she says he "keeps trying to break up with her even though they’re not together." Was there some other break-up scene I didn’t see? I think they dropped this one back in there to remind us that Drew is actually VERY despondent and planning to kill himself when he gets home. An idea mention once, dropped, then picked up again to add tension, I guess. Some kind of conflict. It was sloppily executed.
What about Drew’s road trip back with his Father’s cremains. His mother and sister had no problem with him spreading them all over the country? Were they ever consulted? Didn’t see that on the screen! You’d think they have a say.
And of course, the big reunion at the end. So we’re supposed to believe that Dunst’s character pulled some strings in her role as a flight attendant to get fly ahead of Drew and be at the Second Largest Farmer’s Market to meet him just in case she showed up? He job must have some pretty flexible work hours and policies!
I dunno. Maybe all of this is nit-picky, but all of these inconsistencies really got to me after two hours in my seat. I expected so much more from Crowe and he let me down. The whole film is like a string of half-baked ideas. Or rather, the film feels like it must have been 3 hours long to start and was edited down for time. There’s probably a better movie in there somewhere, it just sucks that we’ll have to wait for the DVD to see it. In the meantime, the theatrical version is probably going to turn off anyone who is casually interested.
I think that there is probably a larger version of Elizabethtown waiting in the wings. Crowe did the exact same thing with his release of Almost Famous: Untitled. And while that release is vastly superior to the theatrical release, at least the version that landed in theaters had a narrative thread. Elizabethtown doesn’t even have that.
What a waste.
[ No Comments ]
May28
REVIEW – PIRATES OF THE CARIBBEAN: AT WORLD’S END
May 28th, 2007 |
(4 votes, average: 6.50 out of 10)
The Golden Age of Hollywood pirate adventure movies consisted of swash-buckling, swordplay, thin mustaches and derring do. Occasionally, the hunt for buried treasure was thrown in before the hero sailed into the sunset with the girl on his arm.
In the formative years of the franchise, the first film Pirates of the Caribbean: The Curse of The Black Pearl did a great job of breathing new life into the genre by mixing in a dash of supernatural tonic. It’s tale of cursed Aztec gold and undead skeleton pirates made for a frolicking popcorn blockbuster.
It’s sequel, the overlong but technically superior Pirates of the Caribbean: Dead Man’s Chest upped the ante by constructing mythology around the Pirates universe and branding an indelible mark on film history by introducing one of it’s most memorable villains in the entirely CG-created Davy Jones (performed brilliantly by Bill Nighy).
In the third (and possibly last) movie in the franchise, Pirates of the Caribbean: At World’s End, there was very little territory left to cover and the film dives deep into the metaphysical and surfaces with six kinds of weirdness. What made the originally Pirates inventive and the second compelling feels overdone in the third movie.
At the film’s onset, our merry band of sea-faring adventurers – including Orlando Bloom, Keira Knightly and Geoffrey Rush – meet with the Pirate Lord of Singapore, Sao Feng (plays with a craggy slither by Chow Yun-Fat). From him they seek an ancient map that will lead them to the the so-called “End of the World” that will literally plunge them into the barren limbo of Davy Jones’s Locker. Contained therein is the perpetually loopy Captain Jack Sparrow, whom they seek to rescue.
Nothing about Davy Jones’s Locker makes sense. Not the ego-driven hallucinations it seems to inflict on the increasingly unhinged Jack, not the fact that his ship, The Black Pearl, seems to have survived the cross-over in tact and certainly not the oddity of a million rock-shaped crustaceans that billow under the hull of the Pearl, pushing it toward water. All of this non-sense is representative of the bigger problem in At World’s End. There’s a lot of stuff in the movie that looks really cool, but all of it feels inconsequential because the film either changes the rules of it’s universe (or worse) makes it up as it goes along.
Discussing the plot of the movie will do it no service. There are so many double-crosses, hidden agendas and obscured half-truths uttered throughout that it makes it difficult to follow which characters have allegiance with another at any given point in the movie. I wasn’t bothered by that so much. I haven’t yet mistaken a Pirates of the Caribbean movie for a David Mamet film and I’m not about to start.
What bothered me most about the film is that never once did I feel that any of the characters were in any kind of danger. Geoffrey Rush’s Captain Barbossa came back to life at the end of the second film. It gives nothing away to say that Captain Jack Sparrow matches the feat when he is rescued from Davy Jone’s Locker in this movie. Screenwriters Ted Elliott and Terry Rossio wrote too many loopholes of supernatural origin into the mix. Between the mystical map that leads to the Locker, to Jack’s compass that lead’s you to your heart’s desire, to the 9 pieces of 8, to the sea-goddess Calypso bound in human form to the voodoo priestess Tia Dalma, to the contents of the Dead Man’s Chest… Too often characters seem to pull these trinkets or pieces of information out of their back pocket at the last minute to make bargains or back out of sticky situations. In more capable hands, it could be clever. In this instance, it just feels tacked on.
Particularly when we’re informed that killing Davy Jones won’t end his curse, that his ship – The Flying Dutchman – will ALWAYS need a captain… It’s a set up for an emotional payoff later in the film. But it feels like a contrivance that Jones is no longer a singular scourge of the seven seas. That his is some kind of mantle passed down from cursed sailor to cursed sailor. It strips the character of a great deal of individuality and makes it less satisfying when he is finally dispatched.
That’s not to say that there aren’t a lot of things that the film gets right. The humor that is peppered throughout the film hits it’s mark and, as always, the performances from Depp, Rush and Nighy push everything forward. All three of them seem to be having a hell of a time and they’re a great deal of fun to watch. Rush, especially – who seems to have returned to his role as Barbossa having sharpened his flinty gaze and reveling in a cathartic madness that is four sheets to the wind.
Visually, the film is astonishing. The Pirates universe has always been one that is very tactile. Set design on this film is beyond compare. The Pirate stronghold of Shipwreck Cove is breathtaking. Davy Jones is an even more emotive, slobbering menace and the sight of a 30′ tall woman on the deck of The Black Pearl dissolving into a wave of crabs looks great even if it doesn’t make any sense. Anyone who goes to At World’s End expecting a feast for the eyes will not be disappointed.
The film has been taken to task for being too long, but I found it much more brisk than Dead Man’s Chest even when the film seemed to linger (as each of the scenes set within Davy Jones’s Locker.) The only time I stopped to look at my watch was during the final battle – which probably isn’t a good thing since this was the sequence that was meant to send the franchise out in a spectacular blaze of glory.
When it’s all said and done, the third installment of the Pirates franchise is serviceable as both a conclusion to the series or a potential continuation of it. They left a window open, let’s say that. Those of you who might have been frustrated by the first two films will probably have the same complaints with this one. But for those of you that like to play in the sandbox along with all the other unique characters of the series, you’ll have a good time.
For more discussion regarding At World’s End, be sure to tune in to The Triple Feature talkcast at TalkShoe tonight at 9:00 PM CST where myself, Joe Dunn from Joe Loves Crappy Movies and Gordon McAlpin from Multiplex will discuss our reactions of the film. If you saw the movie this weekend, call in with your opinions! We’ll be taking your calls live! See you then!
[ No Comments ]
Dec04
Just in time for the holiday season, the studios are trotting out their summer blockbusters on DVD. Disney proves the rule with it’s release of Pirates of the Caribbean: At World’s End out on DVD today.
Much like it’s sometimes murky and crowded predecessor, Dead Man’s Chest, At World’s End plays a little bit better on the small screen. The amazingly rich details of the sets and effects work are kept somewhat more within a controllable scope on the small screen. It really allows you to drink everything in an appreciate the more subtle aspects of what is otherwise a bombastic action thriller.
Unfortunately, some things don’t improve with a reduced scope. While the performances of Johnny Depp, Geoffery Rush and Bill Nighy are largely bulletproof. Rush particularly attacks his roll of Barbosa with zeal. Keira Knightly and Orlando Bloom are as wooden as ever. Dialog is stilted, themes are muddled and there are so many interwoven plot points, it’s difficult to keep track (or care.) The issues I had with how the film was put together back in May still hold true here. For more detail on those opinions, you can read my original review here.
So why review At World’s End on DVD? Presumably for the extras! After all, this is a special 2-disc “limited edition” copy of the film that is apparently going back in the vault on September 30, 2008. If it’s so limited, one would think that the extras are spectacular, right?
Well, not quite.
“Bloopers of the Caribbean” is your standard collection of actors flubbing lines, tripping over the set and asking to “go again” – but not saying anything particularly clever or entertaining. There are only two deleted scenes that were cut for good reason and are equally as boring.
The rest of the bonus features are largely behind-the-scenes documentaries. Some are total fluff, meant to stroke the egos of their subjects – one about Chow Yun Fat and the other about Keith Richards. Much has been made about Johnny Depp’s inspiration for Jack Sparrow coming from the perennial Rolling Stone’s guitarist. But it’s evident in their interview while sitting side-by-side, Depp is trying to extend as much courtesy and politeness to Richards as possible. Meanwhile, his eyes are screaming “THIS GUY IS NUTS!”
I suppose, in hindsight, that’s kind of entertaining.
A few documentaries were interesting, but not entirely up my alley. “The Pirate Maestro: The Music of Hanz Zimmer” and a documentary about Penny Rose, the film’s costume designer were expertly done and add another layer of enjoyment to the film, but didn’t fire up my imagination.
The documentaries under the “Masters of Design” series focus on the propmasters behind Sau Feng’s map, Teague’s Code Book and the dressing of the Singapore set shot for the opening of the film are fascinating explorations into the level of detail provided for the film. The short on Crash McCreery and his design work on Davy Jone’s and his cursed crew was breathtaking. As spoken by one of the interviewees during one of the documentaries “these guys are winning Academy Awards for a reason.”
The big documentary is “Anatomy of a Scene: The Maelstrom” and it has to be seen to be believed. Two full-scale replicates of The Black Pearl and The Flying Dutchman were built inside a warehouse for the film’s climatic sea battle. To see the amount of detail, practical effects and integration with computer effects is mind-boggling and a real treat for people who are looking for ways to deconstruct scenes. Everything from the filming to the editing is on display here and it really gives you a sense of the enormous amount of strategic planning that goes into orchestrating these things.
In fact, I would even go so far to say that it bumped up my respect for the film a few notches. Sure the script had holes in it and the characterization was a little weak. But that’s not exactly why you watch these movies, is it? When you see the great level of care that comes into the process of creating something that has never been seen on-screen before, it forces you to reassess what it is you’re trying to take from the experience. In this way, the bonus features succeed.
Is the film worthy of your collection? Completionists like me will demand it, but frankly, it’s no go without it’s first half – Dead Man’s Chest. Disney had great success with the Pirates franchise. Consider how long it had been since the last pirate film of any sort or the likelyhood that another director will attempt to come along and try to top what’s been done here, it might be a while before we see another entry in the genre ever again! So, yeah – pick it up. It’s a good time.
[ No Comments ]
I’m not as blasé about Pirates of the Caribbean: On Stranger Tides as I present myself in today’s comic. Actually, I’m kind of excited to see it. Cami is, too. Although, admittedly, I’m not excited for the reasons I’m probably supposed to be excited.
I guess I will say – at this point – Johnny Depp’s Keith Richards impression has worn a little thin on me.
I totally recognize that Depp has created an iconic film character – one that will be imitated (poorly) at Halloween parties for years to come. But that doesn’t mean I find it either as cute or charming as I once did.
Truthfully, the big draw for me is Ian McShane as Blackbeard. I’ve heard his role in the film is not pronounced, which is a shame. I mean, the man practically looks like a pirate by default. And he makes a great villain. Actually, he makes a great protagonist, too. He’s just great, okay!
Someone has got to fill the void Sean Connery left behind and I nominate McShane. Done! Written! One for the books!
The one thing the Pirates of the Caribbean movie have been exceptional about is characterization. Capt. Jack Sparrow, Barbossa, Davy Jones… even Norrington. Great characters, each.
Of course, leave Keira Knightley’s Elizabeth Swann and Orlando Bloom’s Will Turner out of the equation – which the fourth movie thankfully does – because they bore me to tears. I’m sure they have their fans. I’m just not one of them.
The Pirates of the Caribbean movies also have great production design. Amazing richness in detail – a stylized world I can believe in, a place I want to spend two hours in.
If the Pirates of the Caribbean movies have any failing is that they tried too hard to force continuity on the audience with the last two movies. They tried so hard to manufacture an epic legend, it ended up smothering the proceedings.
Of course it didn’t help that At World’s End devolved into a swirling cauldron of nonsensical special effects at the end. You could almost see Gore Verbinski looking at the dailies near the end and saying “I don’t know what the hell is going on anymore! THROW MORE MONEY AT IT!”
To that end, I’m glad that On Stranger Tides is more of a self-contained story. My hope is that it will recapture some of the pep of the first movie because the last two were completely exhausting to sit through!
With luck, Cami and I will be able to sneak out of the house sometime this week to check things out.
What about you? Have you already seen it? Also, why hasn’t the trailer for the new Muppet movie shown up online, yet? I demand answers!
Please feel free to leave your comments below!
[ 22 Comments ]
Late last night the first part of the two-part prequel to Peter Jackson’s Lord of the Rings trilogy – and Dear Lord, that’s a mouthful. I present the teaser trailer to The Hobbit.
At first blush, I get a distinct “gettin’ the band back together” vibe coming off this thing. Maybe that’s to be expected since Ian McKellen, Andy Serkis, Hugo Weaving, Cate Blanchett, Christopher Lee, Ian Holm, Elijah Wood and Orlando Bloom will all be reprising their roles from the LotR movies.
I know when I saw the title card reading “Next December…” I was taken aback. Mostly because it seems like a long way off to start an advertising campaign. But, when you consider that The Fellowship of the Ring first premiered in theaters almost a decade earlier, I can kind of understand wanting to capture that symmetry of time.
I was also struck by the sheer amount of footage they managed to cobble together for the trailer. With a year to go, it makes me wonder how much effect work is left to lay in? I’m sure WETA’s render farm will be overclocked in 2012.
What’s your reaction to the new trailer for The Hobbit? Personally, I’m a little underwhelmed. It feels like more of the same to me. But then again, I like the idea of revisiting these characters and hanging out with them again for a little while.
Good times, man. Good times.
[ 11 Comments ]
