Posts Tagged ‘men’
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Ten points to the first person who guesses the movie that today’s comic title is referencing.
Before I commence with the blogging, I gotta warn you, today’s buzzComix incentive sketch is probably the most disturbing thing you’ve seen from me in a while. If you don’t want to start your Monday on a sour note, DON’T CLICK THIS LINK!
I think today’s estrogen-inspired comic is funnier to me considering that Jared and I had a genuine guys-night-out on Saturday. We went to see a regional hockey game, had a whole lot of beer, then went to a sports bar and had a whole lot more beer and didn’t go home until close to 2 in the morning. So monly!
It’s sweet when the wives let us get away for a while…
Big burly action guys doing soft and fuzzy family comedies is nothing new. Schwarzenegger did it first with Kindergarten Cop. Stallone followed suit with a lesser degree with Stop! Or My Mom Will Shoot. Heck, even old-school action guy Burt Reynolds did Cop and A Half. So I guess it should be no surprise when action guys with a sagging career like Vin Diesel follow the same formula.
For my money, Vin should stick to doing voice-overs for giant robots.
And by the way, what narcotic was America collectively under the spell of to give The Pacifier a $30 million opening weekend? Geeze, people!
Something that I got a big kick out of was seeing Aikida back in action. I don’t know where Fenris learned his new coloring technique, but I want to steal a page from that book!
Also, I just wanted to give a quick shout-out to Bernie over at Alien Loves Predator who recently announced that he and his wife will be having twins! Congrats, Bernie!
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Does everyone know what I’m referring to when I talk about the "Not Gay" seat? It’s that little buffer zone between two paranoid heterosexual men that says "I’m seeing a movie with this guy, but I’m not WITH this guy. We’re not gay!"… Get it? The "Not Gay" seat.
Personally, I think is has to be one of the most ignorant things that some men do and I fail to understand it every time I see it. I’ve even been on the receiving end of the phenomenon, believe it or not!
When I was in college, sometimes a bunch of the guys from our dorm would pile into a car and see whatever blow-em-up action movie was dumbing down America at the time. We’d all buy our tickets and file into the theater. Sitting down next to each other, I was the second to last guy in the aisle. The last guy coming in behind me made a specific point not to sit directly next to me, but one seat away.
"I’m sorry," I said. "Does my breath offend you, or something? Or do you just need your space today?"
The guy was from a small farming community and didn’t have a mean bone in his body. He wasn’t some loner jerk putting on a front, either. But he was cooly pragmatic when revealing his homophobia. "I don’t want people to think we’re gay."
"Dude! You’re in a group of 7 guys! We all just had dinner in the dining hall together and you sat right next to me! What is it about this theater and sitting next to me now that is going to give anyone the impression that we’re gay? Dear Lord! Get over it!"
So I basically shamed him into sitting next to me. And then, in a typical display of college-aged maturity and sensitivity, I would occassionally rub his knee during the movie just to mess with his mind. He was good people, though!
Seriously, though. If you’re a guy and you feel a compulsion to employ the "Not Gay" seat, get over yourself. Because you’re not asserting your heterosexuality. Your displaying your ignorance and weakness to everyone. In fact, you’re probably drawing more attention to yourself by NOT sitting next to the guy you came to the movie with than you would if you sat right next to him.
Honestly, if you’re not going to sit nex to the guy, why allude to the fact that you arrived at the theater together at all. Why don’t you sit in the back row and he can sit in the front row? Then NO ONE will be able to put two and two together! I mean, so long as we’re forging totally skewed social behaviors…
At any rate, the "Not Gay" seat was a comic that I wanted to do for a really long time and the desire to do so was refueled when I saw a couple of high school guys pull this stunt when we went to see Cars a few weeks ago. The problem with doing the comic was that I really didn’t have an ending for it. My commentary was more of a rant than anything humorous. Thank goodness for Brandon J Carr for providing me with the finest twist of a character’s motivation that I could ever hoped for. I’ve been milking the gag for a while now. But really, does it ever get old?
I’ll have some site stuff I’ll want to talk about later in the day, so be sure to visit us again this afternoon for an update!
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Cami’s comments about the original Clerks comes from real-life around the time we were first dating in high school. With the resurgence of Clerks II, this seemed like the best opportunity to share it with you.
Our relationship was just starting out, but I was totally about sharing my passion for film with her. We didn’t get Clerks in any of the movie theaters here when it first came out in theaters. But I had become familiar with it by reputation and decided to rent it so that we could watch it together. We sat in her parents basement, watched it all the way to the end and when I asked her "What did you think?" she said "Eh, I don’t really like movies about guys who do nothing."
Okay, so I twisted the quote around a little to fit in with the joke of today’s comic. But the spirit is still the same.
Afterwords, I went home and left the video at Cami’s house asking if she could return it (since she lived closer to the video store and was going to run errands the next day). Before she could return the video, her DAD got a hold of it looking for some kind of entertainment on a lazy Saturday afternoon. Cami came home from her errands and he gave her the old 20 Questions about this boyfriend of hers and what kind of entertainment I’m picking out for her.
My now Father-in-Law never confronted me about it, but Cami told me the story once and it made me pucker, that’s for sure!
The moral of the story? Don’t leave rented copies of Clerks laying around the house for your future Father-in-Law to find! Incidentally, Clerks is the only Kevin Smith movie I don’t own. I mean, I own Clerks: The Animated Series, but I don’t own the original movie that bears it’s name. Oh, and one of Cami’s favorite comedies is Mallrats. Go figure.
Judgemental Father-in-Law’s absent from our shoulders, Cami and I went to see Clerks II this weekend and loved it. I’m glad that it turned out as well as it did. I think the movie had a real capacity to be horrible. Combined with the failure of Jersey Girl, if Kevin Smith couldn’t get Clerks II to sell to audiences, I think it would have put his career as a filmmaker in serious jeopardy.
Is he returning to the well? Sure, but as Smith has freely admitted, these are the kind of stories he’s best adept to tell. Let him tell them!
There were parts of the movie that I felt were very stagey, blocked awkwardly by the actors and very talky. But after a while, it occurred to me how much in love I am with Smith’s sense of dialogue. By the end, the subtle commentaries the film makes about arrested development and "starting your life" in your 30’s kind of hit home for me.
Personally, I never suffered from the same wage-slave malaise as Dante and Randal, but I empathize with their situation. I think all of us are concerned with leaving some kind of legacy in one form or another. But sometimes if you stop to really take stock of what you have, things aren’t that bad.
On a subject related to that of making a mark, I mentioned on friday that copies of my first book "Theater Hopper: Year One" are in stock. If you haven’t ordered on yet, I strongly encourage you to do so soon!
That is all!
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I know I’m kind of getting ahead of myself by talking about movie that don’t come out for another week and a half, but since I’m down to one comic a week now, I kind of have to make it count.
August 13 is looking pretty good in theaters. Between The Expendables, Eat Pray Love and Scott Pilgrim vs. The World, there really is something for everyone.
Truthfully, it wasn’t until I noticed the contrast between the hyper-masculine Expendables and the hyper-feminine Eat Pray Love that I stopped to consider where Scott Pilgrim might fit on that scale.
Maybe it’s a little mean to suggest Scott Pilgrim fans don’t have balls, but it’s all in good fun. I’ll have more to say about Scott Pilgrim when it actually comes out next week. Anyone who might be upset by today’s comic will get their revenge at that time.
Incidentally, there is one movie I’d like to see this weekend and it’s The Other Guys. Chalk it up to my pathological weakness for all things Will Ferrell. Mark Wahlberg, however, is comedy kryptonite. A more humorless and self-important actor you are less likely to find. So I don’t know exactly how he’s going to keep up with Ferrell on this one.
I understand there’s a lot of comedy to be mined from characters who are diametrically opposed. But I kind of think Ferrell is better when he has other comedic actors to bounce off of. Another strike against the film is the WAY past its welcome conceit of two woefully mismatched cops.
But frequent Ferrell collaborator Adam McKay wrote and directed the script, so maybe there will be some curve balls in there. The Anchorman pedigree lives large in my mind, so I’m probably predisposed to ignore the film’s faults when it hits theaters this weekend.
What about the rest of you? Is anyone else anticipating The Other Guys this weekend or does the “mismatched cops” trope have you concerned? Did I go to far with my assessment of Scott Pilgrim vs. The World? Leave your comments below!
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Okay, so it’s been a little more than two weeks since I updated. That’s really bad. But let me explain how it happened.
Basically, I got thrown for a loop by the 4th of July holiday last week. Didn’t really plan in advance and was exhausted after all the family activities and whatnot. That’s why there was no comic last Monday.
I thought I would be able to compensate and post a comic later in the week, but late-night work commitments pretty much drained me of my energy reserves in the evenings last week to the point that I was going to be early, completely wiped out.
I hoped to get back on track over the weekend, but I was once again laid low – this time by crippling illness. Fevers of 103, chills, vertigo, migraines, back pain, night sweats, fever dreams. I don’t know what I picked up, but whatever it was certainly took advantage of my weakened state. I was pretty much out of commission from Friday night until… well, I’m still not 100% at the moment.
I went to a walk-in clinic on Saturday. They couldn’t confirm if I had a viral or bacterial infection. But they put me on antibiotics anyway. Then I went home and slept for 16 hours. It was tortured sleep, that much I can say – punctuated by thunderstorms, which made it all the more exhausting.
So, yeah. Last week? Not a great week.
I will also admit to a certain lack of confidence in this comic’s punchline. Frankly, the comic doesn’t stand very well on it’s own unless you know Jared’s long and sorted history with Shia LaBeouf.
I’ll also admit to a little bit of selfishness. I thought if I could extend the Shia-hate for a week, I could run this ad (or actually, a variation of that ad) on a few web sites to help draw eyeballs to the site. I have no doubt it would have worked. I just had way too much on my plate last week and prioritized things very, very poorly.
But you know what? I’m not going to beat myself up about it anymore. I was already sick with some kind of infection and started to make myself even sicker with guilt. I just have to dust myself off, say “sorry” and move on. Next week, bigger and better things await, right?
Hey, it can’t all be Chaucer.
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Quick bit of business to take care of this morning and then I can tell you the story behind today’s comic.
Remember my Captain America comic last week? I talked about having an alternative punchline in my back pocket and talked about producing a second comic for it?
Well, I was getting ready for Wizard World Chicago last week, so it kind of got away from me. But yesterday evening I had a little extra time to throw something together. So here you go! Check it out and enjoy!
I’m actually kind of shocked that I was able to produce that comic along with today’s comic. I don’t know if in 9 years I’ve ever done two comics on the same day or not.
That’s something to take note of… on Friday, August 5, Theater Hopper will celebrate it’s 9th anniversary. That’s nuts! 9 years? I’ve had this comic longer than any FULL TIME job I’ve ever had.
Kind of says a lot about my generation, doesn’t it?
I don’t know if I have anything special planned to mark the celebration other than I have a script for Cowboys and Aliens kicking around in my head that I would like to get to before it becomes untimely. Considering James Bond and Han Solo broke even with The Smurfs this weekend, I don’t know that it’s going to be around much longer. I haven’t heard very much in terms of word-of-mouth.
One movie I DID see this weekend was Crazy Stupid Love. And the exchange in today’s comic was 100% for real. That’s right. I actually walked up to the ticket booth and asked for two tickets for “Crazy SEXY Love.” Which, when you think about it, kind of sounds like a 1960’s comedy starring Michael Caine.
However, unlike Comic Tom who knew he tripped up and tried to correct himself, I stood in front of the box office confident that “Crazy SEXY Love” was the correct title of the movie. I had to wait for the attendant to correct me. Not embarrassing at all!
Tickets retrieved, Cami threw me a wink and asked me what I was thinking about and – at that point – I figured it was best just to own it.
100% verbatim, folks! Sometimes these things just write themselves!
So… how was the movie? I had several people ask me that question after I tweeted “Am I the only dude here?” shortly before the movie started.
I can tell you this: Crazy Stupid Love certainly has a lot on its mind for the first two act. It’s juggling a lot of characters and has a lot to say about the nature of relationships. Everything from one-night-stands to high school sweethearts with long-term relationships.
As someone who married his high school sweetheart, the movie really spoke to me and gave me an interesting outside perspective from a couple maybe 10 years ahead of us.
I’m not saying Cami and I are anything like the couple played by Steve Carrel and Julianne Moore. I’m just saying that when it comes two couples who kind of started out at the same place, it’s interesting to compare and contrast where things might diverge.
I’m not explaining that very well, so I’ll drop it.
I can say definitively that Ryan Gosling walks away with this movie. A very tight, controlled performance of a character that is by his nature a very loose and improvisational. Watching him on screen, I became convinced of two things: 1.) I need to start lifting weights and 2.) I need to find a reputable tailor.
For some additional insights about Gosling’s performance, read Owen Gleiberman’s article over at Entertainment Weekly. He pretty much hits it right on the head.
Gosling’s scenes with Emma Stone’s are some of the movie’s best and I wish they spent more time exploring their relationship rather than hopping around from couple to couple. I found Gosling and Stone to be very relaxed and authentic around each other and it was a joy to watch.
This said, I will confess that the movie completely falls apart for me in the third act. There’s a dramatic shift in tone near the end and the movie practically becomes an outright farce. Coupled with some truly befuddling choices that force the characters to behave in a manner that no human being would actually behave… well, it left me a little cold.
The film salvages itself slightly in the final scene. But most of that third act is a real dog and borderline insulting considering how much I had invested in the characters up to that point.
I will say that Cami loved the movie outright. Considering I loved roughly 2/3rds of the movie, I still think it’s probably worth your time to check out. Despite its flaws, Crazy Stupid Love feels like the first “adult” movie I’ve seen in ages. It’s certainly the most adult film so far this summer.
Your mileage may vary, of course. Part of me kind of wonders if you have to recognize something in the relationships depicted in the film to get the most out of it. Married 10 years, a father of two, I’m certainly in a different place with my relationship than, say, someone in their 20’s is. But maybe there’s a little something for everyone here.
As long as you have your radar up for the curve ball in the third act, you’ll probably be fine.
Did anyone else see Crazy Stupid Love this weekend? What were your thoughts? Leave your comments below!
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