Posts Tagged ‘Lindsay Lohan’
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In Zombie America, Linday Lohan will still be working and she will look FABULOUS!
I’m really sorry that I didn’t come back with a blog sooner. I need to stop making promises like this to you guys.
To be fair, work has been hectic this week. I’m preparing a newly designed web site for my company and have been concentrating on it on it so diligently for the last two weeks, it feels like there has been little time for anything else.
My personal life has been cluttered as well. Relatives visiting from out of state. Cami away at her night classes. Packing up things in the house for our move on July 12. My attention hasn’t been this fractured since 1996 when – over the summer – I graduated from high school, prepared for college and watched three elderly relatives pass away.
It is 11:08 on a Saturday night and this has been my first time at the computer since I left work at 5:00 on Friday.
I’m making excuses. I know it. I’m divulging all this personal crap when you’ve come here to be entertained. I know it. Maybe I’m showing too much of my hand here. Maybe I should stick to the script, be mysterious, not let you in too much on my personal life. But I can’t do it. Because sitting here and typing everything out makes it more real, helps me deal with it and helps me move forward. And this is just as much for me as for you.
Besides, not everyone can be a tough-talkin’ hombre. Maybe in some sweet way, my insecurity endears me to you? A boy can dream, can’t he? How very emo of me.
Hey, I just saw Bewitched tonight and I would love to sit here and talk about it. But truthfully, I’m just so tired these days.
Just… bear with me for a little while. Things will get back to normal eventually. In the meantime, I appreciate your support and patience. And for everyone who sent me an e-mail, purchased a shirt or advertising to whom I haven’t responded yet, I will get to you soon.
I promise.
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I know that making fun of a Lindsay Lohan movie is kind of like shooting fish in a barrel that have been coked up and spray tanning for years (allegedly!), but the premise of I Know Who Killed Me was too delicious to pass up. I know a lot of guys who still think Lohan is hot because they’re into girls who barely know how to hold their liquor and I know women who want to string Lohan up by her Louis Vuitton handbag for setting the women’s movement back 20 years. I mean, flashing your lady parts for publicity? That’s just sad.
Lohan plays a girl that’s been kidnapped, tortured and left for dead. When she wakes up, she insists that she’s not the person that people were looking for (they just look alike!) and the original girl is still in danger.
You can try to read the plot synopsis over at IMDB and see if it makes sense to you. I read it three times before giving up. Basically it’s a role meant to show off Lohan’s acting chops as she tackles the same character from different emotional perspectives. But does anyone really care at this point?
By now, Lindsay Lohan is known more for the company she keeps and her constant run-ins with the law. Her most famous role isn’t on screen. Her most famous role is being a drunk socialite with crazy parents. Anyone who is a fan of hers seems to be an apologist of some kind – always citing her incredible acting talent. Often you hear her name mentioned in the same breath as Drew Barrymoore – another actress who showed promise early on, but was derailed by the Hollywood party scene before getting her act together.
My question is, why does everyone things she’s such a great actress? I mean, recent movies like Georgia Rule and Herbie Fully Loaded maybe aren’t films that one can fairly gauge her talent with because, by the time those movies were made, she was already a fixture in tabloids. So what about the movies pre-fame? Freaky Friday, Confessions of a Teenage Drama Queen and the much lauded Mean Girls – plus a handful of Disney movies like The Parent Trap and Life Size.
A few of these movies I’ve seen and a few of them I haven’t. Mean Girls, for example – Lohan was never really the star. It was Tina Fey’s whip-smart screenplay that takes that credit. There seemed to be an inkling of talent in The Parent Trap, but she was, like, eight years-old at the time, so who can judge?
My point is that there is nothing in Lohan’s body of work that suggests to me that she’s the next Jodie Foster and I think deep down she probably knows that. So why not live it up when you have the money? What frustrates me is that she keeps being offered these second chances because she somehow fooled America into thinking she’s either A.) interesting or B.) talented – of which she is neither. I mean, to land a role in Robert Altman’s last movie? How does that happen?
It’s all part of the great American cycle of fame. We love to build you up and we love to tear you down. And if you can make a comeback, we love you all the more.
Until we tear you down again.
Maybe Lohan is interesting to some because she’s at once both nakedly ambitious as she is equally self-destructive. Sometimes she’s just naked! But there’s only so many times you can catch me with the “No, I really CAN act!” maneuver before you lose all credibility by hanging out with Paris Hilton and Britney Spears. The fact of the matter is, if she wanted to be taken seriously at all, she wouldn’t be showing up in trendy Hollywood night clubs. You can complain all you like about the paparazzi and how they won’t leave you alone. But there’s a simple solution – stay home.
/end rant
Hey, guys – Don’t forget to check out tonight’s broadcast of The Triple Feature over at Talkshoe. We go live at 9:00 PM CST. Not sure what we’re talking about this week, but odds are good that it isn’t I Know Who Killed Me. Personally, I won’t mind exploring I Now Pronounce You Chuck and Larry. I took a swipe at it in the blog I posted on Saturday (sorry for the delay on Friday’s comic, BTW) and there was some interesting feedback in the comments section. It seems like some people were willing to give the movie a pass, but others were concerned about the film’s dangerous attitudes about homosexuality – even if it was being played for laughs. I might trying bouncing that off Joe and Gordon to see what they think. But odds are good we’ll probably spend most of the hour talking about The Simpsons Movie.
So tune in!
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There are some pretty serious problems in the world. But, really – who cares, right? Britney Spears just Botoxed her forehead!
Okay, I know that’s a little sanctimonious. But I’m making fun of myself just as much as the culture that spawned me. Jared’s discriminating taste in regard to a celebrity he chooses to focus his hatred on is a fairly minor concern in the large scheme of things. But how many people do you know retreat into the world of celebrity-bashing when the Real World becomes too oppressive. Exactly. They have a whole network that revolves around it, for goodness sakes!
Has anyone noticed that I’ve been trying to mix things up with the panel arrangement in the last few strips? Something I overlooked during my time with Juice was creative panel arrangement. In the strips I would have to repurpose for the publication, I would have to remain really rigid about the four-panel layout. Because instead of the two-on-two stacked arrangement we have on the site, it was four panels wide in print.
All part of those pesky “patterns” I fell into.
At any rate, I’m really enjoying mixing it up a little. It’s weird to keep drawing Jared so exaggerated. But I suppose since now I’ve established that he’s aggressively bi-polar, I can get away with it.
I’m very excited because I finally scheduled a day off for myself Friday, November 9 to work on the redesign of the site. My good friend Brian Arnold has got us all hooked up through WordPress and now it’s just a matter of me sitting down and designing a page template that I’m going to turn over to a generous reader by the name of Keith Solomon who will transform it into something I can use for WordPress.
Believe me, this is going to be great. The archive system will be beefed up, there will be a calendar on the home page, the commenting system will be back and we have WordPress’s power running the whole thing.
Optimistically, once I get this up and running, I might bring the THorum back, too.
It’s time to circle the wagons. Theater Hopper had a great year in 2006, but 2007 was a little fractured for me. I really want to take the time to make this site a destination for people again – a community. Because that’s a big part of why I got into this in the first place.
Anyway, I guess I can’t share anything more exciting than “I’m taking a day off!” I can’t say for sure when the changeover to WordPress will occur. But I have my sights set for January ’08. Stay tuned.
That’s all for now. Have a great weekend, everybody!
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I’m not exactly sure where the idea for today’s strip came from. Except that I read the headline that Lindsay Lohan was in talks to join Zack Snyder’s Superman reboot, potentially being cast as Lana Lang- Clark Kent’s high school crush.
The casting news seemed so out of place to me, the only was I could reconcile it in my mind was to presume Snyder wanted someone on-set with access to good drugs.
Y’know… because Lindsay Lohan… has a… has a drug problem.
She takes a lot of drugs, is what I’m saying.
I didn’t really think this one through. I was probably more focused on the reversal in the punchline, if I’m being honest with you.
Something I won’t do in this space is use this news as an opportunity to bash Zack Snyder again. Even I know that I’m sounding a bit like a broken record on that front.
Although I will admit that I’m somewhat curious about the casting decisions so far. For example, Diane Lane and Kevin Costner as Ma and Pa Kent are interesting choices. Individually, the casting makes sense. Amy Adams as Lois Lane makes a little bit of sense if you’re going for the spunky reporter angle. Less so if you’re trying to portray her as a hard-nosed journalist. Then again, Bryan Singer cast Kate Bosworth as Lois, so I suppose there is no where to go but up.
I guess my concern is that all of these casting decisions sound fine on-paper. But I wonder how they are going to perform together as an ensemble? Tossing Lindsay Lohan into the mix would be a real wild card – and I don’t mean that in a positive way.
Truthfully, Lohan is rumored to be in consideration for SO many movies today (as she tries to bouy her sagging career), I’m not convinced this isn’t a little bit of campaigning on her part. Would anyone put it past her to cravenly beg for the park like Sean Young did for Catwoman in Batman Returns?
I tried to find video from when Young went on The Joan Rivers Show dressed as Catwoman before sitting down for an interview about how she’d be perfect for the part. But the clips I found didn’t have any audio. Reportedly, Young also showed up at Warner Bros. Studio in her costume and was thrown off the lot after she tried to meet with Tim Burton.
I guess it’s wait and see with Lohan. I’m not exactly against the idea of her playing Lana Lang. It’s a bit part, a fun cameo, probably. I’m just more confused by the reports than anything else.
Had you already heard the rumor? What was your reaction to it? Does anyone want to grab a Coke with me? LEAVE YOUR COMMENTS BELOW!
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