Posts Tagged ‘lame’
3 items.
Mar31
I guess I shouldn’t be surprised that Head of State was number one at the box office this weekend. Considering the world climate, it makes sense that audiences would go see comedies. I guess I just hate to see Chris Rock find success with such pandering material. He’s starting to become the Jennifer Lopez of urban comedies – i.e. A performer I once respected who gets caught up in producing, directing, writing, whatever and ends up churning out the same predictable formula-driven dreck.
I know everyone thought he was great a few years ago when he had his HBO special Bring The Pain, but that was way back in ’96. Bigger and Blacker was in ’99, but not as impressive.
People often compare Rock to Eddie Murphy. I think he should take a page out of his book and do a concert movie like Raw featuring his stand up material. I know we all have a bad taste in our mouth after Martin Lawerence in Run Tel Dat, but if anyone can make it work, Rock can. He’s too good a talent to dry up in cozy demographic land.
I’d continue with my rant, but the other half was already covered by the strip. So we’ll let that one stand on it’s own two feet.
Spent this weekend watching both of MICHAEL Moore’s previous documentaries. I had seen both Roger and Me as well as The Big One before, but Cami became interested after Moore won his Oscar for Bowling for Columbine.
I never got a chance to see Bowling for Columbine in theaters, so I have to wait until it comes out on video. I regret that. I know I would have really enjoyed it. I remember getting several e-mails at the time it was in release from people urging me to see it. “YOU would love it,” they said. Why didn’t I get up off my lazy ass. The world will never know.
I’d still like to take a swing at seeing Spirited Away. The film serves as a GREAT example of what Oscar gold can do for a picture. Before it won it’s trophy for Best Animated Picture, the movie was only being shown in 7 theaters nationwide. After the win, Disney (the distributor, not the animators) re-released it into 800 theaters. Luckily, our best independent theater – The Fluer Cinema (check out their web site design; it’s killer)- got a hold of it. Gotta check it out before it moves on.
For those of you who are curious as to how things went in Kansas City this weekend at Planet Comicon, things couldn’t have been better! I had a blast!
Jared and I took off around 7AM Saturday morning (no problem for me since my beagle Truman decided to get up at 4AM) and got into K.C. right around 10 when the convention started. We wondered around the floor for a while, just getting our bearings and checking out the deals.
Around 11AM I finally worked up the nerve to go say high to Mike and Jerry from Penny Arcade. They had a lot of fans standing around their booth. I was surprised how many of them brought cardboard tubes for them to sign – a sign of reverence toward the “Chronicle of The Cardboard Tube Samurai” they recently ran. One guy even brought a panel to his computer case and asked Mike to draw his character Div on the side of it.
Man… I wish I had thought of that.
It was good talking to Mike and Jerry. I told them about Theater Hopper, but neither had heard of it. I gave them my URL in hopes they would check out the site. I told them in person that their success had a lot to do with inspiring me to start my operation – and it’s true. I don’t expect to ever match their success, but here are two guys, roughly my age, who carved out a niche for themselves that tens of thousands of fans respond to vigorously. Who among you can say the same? I can’t.
I could never imagine Theater Hopper growing to a level of success where appearances at comic book conventions would be either welcomed or warranted. I don’t even know what I would do if placed in that situation. Behind that desk, greeting people that come to see you. You shake hands and say thank you to these people for making you popular. How weird. I would be terrified that I would be letting them down in some way.
That’s the trouble with the Internet. It’s really easy to mask the behind-the-scenes stuff if you want to. People can build up your image to suit their imaginations. What if I don’t meet their expectations?
But Mike and Jerry seemed to handle it really well. I didn’t get a picture with them, but I got a picture OF them. Unfortunately, there are about 20 more pictures left on the roll, so it will probably be a while before I can get my shots on the site.
I didn’t get pictures with any of the other celebrities in attendance. Mostly because none of them warranted shucking out $25 bucks for the “honor”. I’m sure Lou Ferrigno is a nice guy and everything, but what do you say to him? “What was it like being painted green 30 years ago?”
The Playmates in attendance weren’t that thrilling, either. In fact, they were down-right depressing. I know one of the two was Playmate of the Year at some point. I guess within that “industry”, that’s probably the pinnacle of achievements. But to find yourself signing autographs at a comic book convention 20 years later all used up and wrinkled? Sad. I suppose that’s what you get when you base your entire earning potential on your genetics – or silicone, or whatever…
Anyway, that’s my report for the forefront of geekdom. I promise I’ll get back to the movie stuff from here on out.
I will, however, say this: I snagged a killer deal on some old Iron Man comic books. I found a dealer who was selling them for 50 cents a piece – good condition, too. Keep in mind, these books were selling for 75 cents back in the late 80’s when they were originally published. That’s quite a savings!
I don’t know if that’s a comment on my superior bargain-hunting skills, or a sad commentary on the state of the collectors market, but whatever. Iron Man is the coolest. Don’t let anyone tell you otherwise.
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Feb28
Although I had seen most of the nominated films in consideration at the 77th Annual Academy Awards, I watched the telecast with very little emotional investment. It seemed in terms of the nominees, there was very little wiggle room for surprise. Most of the contenders were locks for their awards. I can say in hindsight that that came to pass.
I haven’t decided if an Oscar ceremony without surprises is a good or bad thing. Certainly from an entertainment perspective, it’s a bad thing. I mean, who doesn’t look forward to shouting at the screen when their favorite cinematographer isn’t given their just due?
But on the other hand, less surprises usually translates into more accurate award-giving. Who could really argue that Jamie Foxx didn’t deserve his Best Actor award? His portray of Ray Charles went FAR beyond kind mimicry. He truly inhabited the man.
*THE REST OF THIS BLOG POST WAS LOST WHEN THEATER HOPPER MOVED TO WORDPRESS IN 2009*
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Part of me feels that making a comic that criticizes George Lucas’ choices in the Star Wars prequels is kind of like sitting in a rocking chair – it gives you something to do, but you don’t go anywhere.
However, the idea of Anakin pushing General Grievous over the back of Obi Wan, leading to a dramatic explosion, was too funny to me. As you can see, I tried to play up the cartoon outlandishness to the hilt.
In the vein of characters muttering “I have a bad feeling about this.” and lightsaber adversaries losing limbs left, right and center – quickly and unoriginally disposing of cool-looking secondary vilians has becomes something of a Star Wars tradition.
It’s frustrating to a degree because Lucas’ art direction team has it in them to invent some incredible baddies. They build them up so that we think they are the most heinous, devious, impervious challenges our heroes will ever face. Then they are quickly disposed of in undignified ways. It seems like such wasted potential.
Naturally, the first victim to this folly was Boba Fett way back in Star Wars: Episode VI – Return of the Jedi. Absent-mindedly knocked into the Pit of Sarlacc, he was left to digest for 1,000 years. The biggest, baddest bounty hunter in the galaxy – SO TOUGH HE DOESN’T EVEN HAVE TO TALK! – dies in a way so undignified, Lucas might as well had him slip on a banana peel and split his head open on a rock.
Now we can kind of let this one slide, because at the time the original trilogy came out, he didn’t realize that Boba would capture people’s imagination so thoroughly. He envisioned him as this kind of background character. Totally disposable. Okay, fine. We’re not weeping into our Cheerio’s for that random Gamorrean guard who is fed to the Rancor.
However, this doesn’t absolve him from the absolute disregard for the great villians created for the prequels – Darth Maul, Jango Fett and General Grievous. Each one of these creations is billed as a major threat, but are removed from the equation in the lamest ways possible.
Darth Maul? The first Sith seen in 1,000 years. Proves his bad-assery by ventilating Qui Gon Jinn, but plucky young padawan Obi Wan Kenobi takes a lucky swipe and separates his legs from his torso. Enjoy your ride into obscurity down that random, bottomless shaft!
Jango Fett? First off, he’s a Mandalorian. Their reputation proceeds them. Second, he’s chosen as the template for the Clone Army. There must be something special about him, right? Wrong!
He barely gets out alive after a clumsy tussle with Obi Wan on Kamino and gets his head sliced off by Mace Windu without the erstwhile Jules Winnfield breaking his stride. Perhaps this is why the Stormtroopers are such a terrible shot?
Finally, General Grievous. The metaphorical alpha version of Darth Vader. An alien who swapped out most of his organic parts for mechanical substitutes. This guy kills Jedi FOR FUN and takes their lightsabres as keepsakes.
When he was introduced in the Star Wars: Clone Wars mini-series on Cartoon Network, he was a grisly, swift spectre of death, able to take out four Jedi all by his lonesome.
Too bad he didn’t employ the foresight to forge a more durable carapace. One that wouldn’t crack like a lobster shell when Obi Wan crams his hands into the opening between his chest plates, exposing his weakened heart and lungs to “uncivilized” blaster fire.
What recourse do these indelible characters have when their creator tosses them aside so readily? I mean, it makes sense to a degree because you want to introduce as many new, exciting visuals for each movie. If Darth Maul had been running rampant through all three prequels, it might have become stale. And certainly there would be less merchandising opportunities!
Lucky for us there is the Expanded Universe. The comic books and novels where writers who understand what it means to cherish an original character will flesh out their back stories and give them the respect they deserve.
Except R.A. Salvatore. I still haven’t forgiven him for killing off Chewbacca in Vector Prime…
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