Jimmy Olsen is supposed to be "Superman’s Pal." Let me tell you – a REAL pal would clue you in to the bubble butt issue! Maybe Jimmy just hasn’t worked up the nerve yet.

Are you like me? Do you debate the practicality of comic book  storytelling methods? The whole "costume under the civilian clothes" thing never worked with me when it came to Superman. I mean, okay… the skin-tight body suit I can kind of understand. Except, how does he go to the bathroom when you’re wearing three layers of clothes? Or does Clark Kent have a super bladder to hold it all in?

Anyway, I can let the suit underneath slide… but where is that cape hanging out? Back pocket? Does he stuff it down the legs of his pants? Maybe that’s why he’s so clumsy? I had kind of forgotten about my pet theory until we went to see Superman Returns this weekend. That shot where Clark steps into the elevator and then flies straight up the elevator shaft, shedding his street clothes behind him, I started asking myself again… "Where did that cape come from?"

Another thing – is Clark just leaving clothes all over the city? In elevator shafts, phone booths, alleyways…. You’d think the Daily Planet would be reporting about a serial streaker in Metropolis! Wouldn’t he be leaving his wallet and ID behind everytime he soars into action as Superman? I imagine Clark Kent’s new clothes bill must be astronomical.

Heh, heh… I’m shattering the whole illusion for all of you, aren’t I?

Okay, enough of that crap. Onto Superman Returns. What did I think? Well, at risk of appearing lazy, I would say this recent strip from PvP sums up my opinion quite nicely. When we left the theater, I actually told Cami "I want to be Superman when I grow up." Dear God… Who doesn’t?

Something about that John Williams theme song just makes you want to leap in front of an out of control frieght train and stop it with your bare hands. All that zipping and zooming around the stratosphere makes me want to fly home.

The effects in Superman Returns were stunning. Absolutely seemless. Everything The Man of Steel did on screen was something I had been aching to see. Sure, the other Superman films showed him in flight, but not at 700 miles per hour. Amazing stuff.

Complaints? Nothing you probably haven’t read before. It’s a little long. It takes a while before we see Brandon Routh in costume. Kate Bosworth is nothing like any version of Lois Lane you’ve ever read about or seen performed by any other actress – and that’s not a compliment. Kal Penn is given NOTHING to do as Luthor’s henchman. NO SPEAKING LINES! Why is he even in the movie? He probably doesn’t care. Residuals from this flick will pay out for the rest of his life.

Good things about the movies? I felt both Brandon Routh and Kevin Spacey were right at home in their respective roles. There was never a moment where I didn’t believe in Routh as Superman. He put an element of grace and calm into his portrayal that I found very comforting. Sure, he could stand to have been a little older to get that fatherly vibe that Superman exudes, but that’s a quibble. Really, excellent casting all around, except for Bosworth. Parkey Posey hits a home run as Luthor’s arm-candy, Kitty. She does a lot with a role that could have been one-note or insignificant.

The concept of a world without Superman is a great idea in terms of "re-introducing" the character, but it’s never fully explored. He went to see if Krypton was still around. It took him five years to find out it wasn’t. Bummer. They gloss over his exploration, but spend a little too much time in other areas.

The whole question about Lois’ five year old son? Probably not best for me to go into it here. But I have STRONG opinions about it. Trust me on that one.

Poor James Marsden. He should change his name to "James Marginalized." Get’s screwed over in the X-Men franchise, plays the guy that Rachel McAdams DOESN’T pick in The Notebook and he just shuffled to the side here again. The shame of it is, he continues to play increasingly more likeable characters. He just can’t end up with the girl on-screen.

Overall, I left the theater on a high note. Cami and I saw the movie on IMAX which kind of screwed up some of the composition of a handful of shots, so I wouldn’t mind going back and seeing it again on a "regular" screen so I can soak it all in a second time. Other than that, I can’t recommend the movie highly enough.

Hope you guys had a great weekend. I’ve got the day off today, so I’m going to work on a new design for Theater Hopper. It’s something I’ve been wanting to try for a while, but it’s been difficult to find the time to take a swing at it. Wish me luck!