A medicine cabinet. In the dining room. Why? Were the previous owners of my house insane?

When my wife and I took possession of the house we thought “Oh, they left that ugly mirror.” Well, as it turns out, the ugly mirror is a freaking medicine cabinet.

This weekend was very, very long. I am due to pick up my wife from the airport tonight. Hopefully she did not stray from the beaten path and become ambushed by backwoods pot farmers.

(Note to Kentuckians: I have been to your state several times. It is very nice. I am not trying to make fun of it. Please give my wife back.)

I filled the loneliness of the weekend with movies. As promised, I will quickly recount the list.

Picnic at Hanging Rock: Overall, I have enjoyed the Peter Weir films I have seen. Gallipoli is a favorite and one of the few things that can make me burst into tears. They all have one thing in common, however. They move very slooowwwly. Though it captured the essence of a 1900 Australian school for girls very well, the story lacked punch. Since it is based on a true story, all the things you want to occur to make it a nice little movie do not happen, because life doesn’t work like it does in the movies.

The Hitchhiker’s Guide to the Galaxy: I loved the book. I wish I could say the same for the movie. Watching this movie was like listening to Vogon poetry. I had to watch it in about four sittings, because this BBC produced mini-series was quite boring. The animations are good and script is obviously well written, as it draws directly from the text, but the rest is terrible. I can get past the Red Dwarf budget, but the camera shots are wholly uninteresting. The acting is forced and sometimes seems like the actors do not know their lines. I think I could have read the second book in the time it took to sleep through this one, and I know I would have been better off.

Heart of Darkness: This made for cable movie draws from the same source as Apocalypse Now. Set in Africa, ship Captain Marlow is hired to restore the link to a remote ivory trading post and find out what the deal is with the leader of the outpost, Mr. Kurtz. Tim Roth is great as Marlow and John Malkovich does well as Kurtz. The whole movie is somewhat spoiled by the fact that I’ve seen Apocalypse Now and therefore was not shocked or surprised by any of the plot points. It is worth watching though.

Roman Polanski’s Pirates: This is a well done film which has a spirit that mostly makes up for the lack of story. Walter Matthau is great as the pirate.

The Celebration (Festen) : What starts out as an odd look at a fairly un-likeable family gathering for a reunion degenerates into a deeper look at the family’s extraordinary dysfunctions. The movie is a bit boring at first but turns into a car accident from which you can not look away. Don’t watch this one with your family.

Pirates of the Caribbean: Curse of the Black Pearl: Very good. Fun, exciting. The special effects are very well done. It doesn’t have the “HEY WE ARE GOING TO DO SOME SPECIAL EFFECTS NOW, LOOK!” that some other films have. Johnny Depp is awesome. I wish I would have stayed in the theater after the credits, because there is an additional scene. This movie stands with Finding Nemo as the best movies I’ve seen this year.

That’s all for now. Video Warehouse is calling to my movie loving soul, so I’ll probably pick up more films soon.