Posts Tagged ‘hate’
13 items.
Today’s strip details exactly what happens EVERY SINGLE TIME I try to see a movie in a big multiplex. Unfortunately, I run into this problem quite often because nearly EVERY theater in my hometown is a multiplex. Just another example of suburbianization gone wrong. And it seemed like such a good idea at the time…
Local boys will probably recognize the offending movie house at the Wynnsong 16. It used to be a cool place to go when it was new. Now they barely have enough people there to man one concession, let alone keep it clean or orderly.
That doesn’t stop people from coming back, though. And the reason is simple:
In Iowa, YOU HAVE NO PLACE ELSE TO GO!
I could probably go on about all the things I hate about multiplexes… but I don’t want to dip my pen too deep into the Seinfieldian well.
Let’s just put it this way; I used to think the worst thing about going to the movies was sitting with the audience. But now I’m beginning to wonder if the theater owners aren’t against me, too.
Clearly the only solution is to build my own IMAX screen in the backyard like these guys. I can use it to watch shortened versions of Episode II and Apollo 13.
Here’s some notes of interest:
I’m getting rid of the forums. I’ve ceased to find use for them, and the maintenance is more than I care for. Not like there was much to maintain. We had a handful of subscribers, but nothing to scream about. Granted, they’re wonderful people, but I’ve opted to put the forum on the shelf until the site garners an audience large enough to demand one. Besides, I like Carrington’s forum so much more.
There is going to be a Theater Hopper documentary! Maybe this sounds like a toss off to the rest of you, but I’m excited about this project. Jared is going to put together a film chronicling the behind-the-scenes drama of creating a three-times-weekly online cartoon. The drama! The intrigue!
Actually, it does make for good documentary fodder. Although popular, the notoriety of web comics is somewhat limited by the medium. It’s not like they are printed daily in papers nationwide. It isn’t as though you could kill a little time reading one when the jumble has you stumped. You have to search this stuff out! And besides, have you ever seen a documentary about web comics?
We haven’t gotten started yet, but Jared is going to start gathering footage sometime this week. A film festival spurred him to action and the deadline is fast approaching, so he’s going to bust his hump to make something fantastic. We’ve spoke about selling the results on the site, but I have a sneaking suspicion that lawyers might have to be involved for that. Fair use, copyright and whatnot. We could be getting ahead of ourselves there.
We’ll be sure to keep you posted!
[ No Comments ]
With great regret, I must forewarn you all that today’s blog will be all about hate. It is unfortunate considering this is the last Theater Hopper strip of 2002, but best to vent now before midnight tomorrow and all that “fresh start” and “new cheer” crap gets underway.
First, let me say that I absolutely HATE my local Fox affiliate. I cursed their name quite loudly when they pre-empted The Simpsons for a basketball game between Iowa State and UNI. This is the second time this year they’ve done this. Normally I would be on board to support the Panthers, but may the Lord help anyone who stands between me and the best damn show in television history. The bastards.
Second, about today’s strip.
Anyone who knows me knows my hatred for my local multiplex – The Wynnsong 16 – burns white hot and rages without boundaries. They also know, like a chump, I keep going back there because it is one of the only theaters boasting both stadium seating and THX sound. You can see my dilemma.
However, as good as the physical theaters are, they barely compensate for the crew of nearly retarded helper monkeys they have manning the ticket booths, concessions and projection booths. Today’s strip is but one of the many TRUE STORIES I’ve collected in my experience with Wynnsong.
The above tale took place less than a week ago when I went to see Star Trek: Nemesis. I went to the matinee. I asked for two tickets and was charged $15.00. I had a twenty in my hand and gave it to the drooling goon with the mop-top haircut. But once I had my tickets, I slowly realized that matinee prices should be… y’know, cheaper.
Immediately stepping back up to the booth, I went back to the same dude who sold me tickets. I explained calmly “I just bought tickets for the 1:30 matinee, but you charged me full price.”
A blank stare greeted me from behind the glass.
“So that means you charged me five dollars more than you should have,” I continued to explain. I waited for him to leap into action.
Still a blank stare.
Then the employees flanking him started walking him through the procedure to return to me my five dollars. They were pointing at buttons on the cash register he should press and did everything but grab his hand to pluck my refund out of the drawer for him.
The whole process took about four minutes longer than it should have.
With my cash firmly in my grasp, I waited for some kind of apology or a humble “Oops. My mistake!” but got nothing. This cretin didn’t say a word to me about it. Not even a half-hearted “Enjoy your show!”
I walked into the theater wondering how people such as he could even conjure the will to bathe themselves in the morning.
This is but one of the many reasons why I hate the Wynnsong 16.
[ No Comments ]
Well, here we are. 2003. Everyone make it through okay? While I have no tales of New Year’s Eve debauchery to share, I am glad to see another year. Here’s to you and yours.
I have to apologize for the delay on the strip. I know I said late morning/early afternoon, but it turned into early evening. But at least I got it to ya on a Wednesday!
As you can see, I’m continuing the “Why I Hate Wynnsong” theme this week. The above event is based on truth, but exaggerated greatly on the end. I know I’m dipping into Seinfied territory with today’s bit of satire, but I am extremely annoyed with the concessions people who repeatedly try to push on you these stupid combo meals. The amount of popcorn they give you could feed a family of four. Why do I need a refill?
“And have you ever noticed how difficult it is to open a bag of airline peanuts?”
By the way, has anyone else noticed the extra care I’ve taken when coloring panes of glass? It’s like, my new thing, or whatever.
No real news today, so I guess I’ll remind you to vote in our poll. It will only take a second and it helps me to know which way to turn the rudder when plotting the future course of this site. The current poll is all about Top Web Comics and it seems to have generated some interest. It’s already racked up a quarter of the votes our last poll took a week to pull together.
Also be sure to check out the “Our Media” section on the right. I was looking for a little extra content to fill the space and figured since this site serves double-duty as a funny pictures depot and a rant spot, I would fill everyone in on the pop culture inspiring me at the moment. As you can see, Jared jumped on the bandwagon as well.
Hmm… must think of clever ending. Hey! Look over there!
:: runs away ::
[ No Comments ]
I took a second glance at the blog post I made this morning and decided that it was a really sucky way to cap off the week. I wanted to come back and let everyone know things are all better at Camp Brazelton.
After thumbing through the forums at Triton Labs, the solution became immediately clear. When installing the Afterburner, there are four protective plastic strips that prevent contamination to the components before installation. While assembling the mod, I only removed three and that’s why the colors looked all assy.
I would have had time to make the repair last night, but I didn’t want to wake up our beagle puppy Truman. How ironic that the little bastard woke me up at 6 o’clock this morning – a full hour before I regularly get up. I decided to take the extra time to make the repairs to my Game Boy and everything turned out fine. Yay!
I have to say, in retrospect the installation was fairly uncomplicated. But I think when you crack open the shell of this rather expensive piece of equipment, you’re nerves get a little jittery and you don’t follow directions as well as you should. Just goes to show I would make a horrible bomb squad technician…
Something else I wanted to cover in this blog is another Wynnsong story. I figured it was the least I could do since I gave everyone the shaft this morning. I wanted to use it as a plot for one of today’s strip, but it had to deal with concession workers in a different aspect, and I was looking to follow the thread of continuity a little further down the line. Hence, the “lunging through the projectionist booth window” gag we get today.
Anyway, the story. And I swear on the grave of Jack Lemmon it’s the truth.
I went to see Gangs of New York about a week ago. I was having a particularly crappy day and wasn’t much in the mood for any crap. I had hoped going to a movie would take my mind off things. No such luck.
We get to the theater and there is only one guy selling tickets. It’s a Monday night, but it’s understandable, but it’s also right before Christmas when a lot of people have time off. Bad management strikes again.
After purchasing tickets and going inside, there are about 16 people working behind the concession counters and there is NO ONE in line. In fact, there are kids standing behind the counter while the line for tickets is trailing outside. You can’t pull a couple of kids out from behind the candy counter to help thin out the ticket line? Morons!
Realizing that Gangs of New York is like, 12 hours long, I decided to get some popcorn and a soda (BUT NOT A COMBO!) I hadn’t eaten yet and I didn’t want hunger getting in the way of my grasping the movie in all it’s Scorsese glory.
I ask the kid behind the counter, “Can I have a large popcorn and a medium Coke?”
To which he replies, “Sure you can. It’s a free country.”
To which I wanted to reply “ARE YOU GOING TO GET ME MY DAMN COKE, OR NOT?!” But Miss Manners wouldn’t approve.
The kid then starts scooping up the corn and looks over his shoulder with a cock-sure grin and asks “Do you want oil on your popcorn?” And his tone inferred that this was not his cute name for butter, but meant to be taken sarcastically.
“Nooooo… I don’t want OIL on my popcorn,” I scoffed.
Once he was finished putting everything together he rang up the total and I paid with a twenty. “Ooo! Big spender!” he cooed.
So close I was to gripping his skull and slamming it into the register.
I get my change back and he says to me “Enjoy your movie, people!”
I WAS THE ONLY ONE AT THE COUNTER! THERE WERE NO OTHER “PEOPLE”
I met up with Cami who was looking at preview posters and I was nearly shaking with anger. “I think they must be giving these kids lessons on how to be a jackass, or something,” I muttered. We went to watch our film.
Now look, before this erupts into some kind of class warfare thing or whatever, know that I used to work for a movie theater just like this kid. So I KNOW what’s it’s like to be bombarded by idiots all day long. But I was nothing but cool to this kid and he’s firing back with both barrels.
I may have never liked any of the people I served when, but I never went out of my way to make anyone feel like crap. I swear to God if I ever see that kid again, I’m gonna punch him in the back of the head.
Oh, look. Now I’m all angry again! Dammit!
[ No Comments ]
So this is the conclusion of Why I Hate Wynnsong week. Obviously I dipped a little too deeply into the well of hyper-extended realism with the last two comics, but they’re fairly true to life. I hope you all walked away with at least a smile from this episode. Meanwhile, I’m still waiting to hear from a Wynnsong representative for tarnishing their mediocre name. No luck.
I’m not feeling very chatty today because I just attempted to install the Afterburner for my Game Boy Advance and am afraid I screwed it up. The colors are all washed out and I’m stressing about it. I’ve been reading the Afterburner forums trying to isolate the problem, and I think it’s an easy fix, but my Game Boy is in the kitchen and I don’t want to wake up my dog.
Plus, considering I just spent a gut-wrenching two hours installing the thing – petrified I would ruin a fairly nice piece of electronic equipment – I don’t know if I up for round two just yet. Nevermind I burnt the hell out of my finger tips with the soldering iron.
Anyway, that about caps it off for me tonight. There are no big releases this weekend, so I’ll probably stick close to home. Cami wants to see Two Weeks Notice, but I’m in such a pissy mood right now, just the thought of Sandara Bullock up on screen makes me want to break a two by four over my knee.
Ah, well. Hope everyone else has a better weekend than mine is shaping up to be. I might be back later, but don’t count on it.
Oh, and if you haven’t participated in the poll above, be a dear and give me some feedback! Thanks!
[ No Comments ]
This isn’t really the first time Tom has consulted religion (or at least his limited understanding of it.) Nor is it his first brush with existentialism. But when it comes to the matter of pop culture, it’s serious business and sometimes you need to look to a higher power.
I’ve personally been reading Entertainment Weekly since 1995 and I can remember the first issue I picked up. I was in Iowa City over the summer attending a two-week art camp at the University of Iowa. I was 17 and still in high school. It was great. We got to sleep in the dorms and we took classes ranging from photography, to oil painting and pottery.
But I digress. I picked up the magazine at the university bookstore and it had Val Kilmer on the cover in full costume for Batman Forever. I devoured the issue. And no, not because of the bat-nipples on the costume. Here was a magazine that was catered very well to my interest in the myriad of pop culture. Not just movies or music but television and books as well. I thought it was written exceptionally well and in a voice that spoke directly to me. 11 years later, I’m still reading it. If I had saved each of those issues, I surely would have become one of those people you read about who was found buried alive under all the garbage in their house that toppled over on them.
At any rate, I didn’t mean for this to be a giant endorsement of Entertainment Weekly. I’m not getting any kickbacks (but if anyone has connections!…) Just kidding. I’m just telling stories.
The pre-sale for the book is still going on. I’m feeling a little better about things. People seem to really like the idea of me signing the book and including a numbered original sketch with their orders. Of course, I would feel better if I could tell you I have all the orders I need and I was sending the artwork to the printer – but were still a ways off from that. So if you’re thinking about pre-ordering a book, do it today!
Also, don’t forget that I still have an open call for guest strips. I have a few people that have expressed interest and are working on things, but so far I don’t have enough to cover me while Cami and I are gone. I’m gonna need about 3 weeks worth of stuff, so if you have anything, send it in! Really the only limitation is to keep the artwork 525 pixels wide. Anything larger breaks the template of the site. But if you want to go longer, I’m okay with that! Black and white or color is okay. Just keep it tasteful (nothing worse than you might see in prime time network television) and I’ll roll with it!
I consulted my Magic Eight Ball and asked it if I see Mission Impossible 3 this weekend. I turned it over and it said "My sources tell me ‘No’." Part of the reason is because we’re having a big party at our house on Saturday to celebrate Cami earning her Master’s degree in Public Administration. A two-year struggle that’s finally come to a close. The other reason is that I’m pretty much over all of the hype and don’t feel like supporting Tom Cruise in any way, shape or form.
I’m not the only one. Tracking figures released Wednesday cite Mission Impossible 3 has 98% general awareness, 43% definite interest and 13% first choice. So, in other words, the marketing is doing it’s job by putting the film out there – but it doesn’t look like the majority of the audience is going to bite. There have been some initial good reviews. Some are calling it the best of the series. That’s good, I suppose. But it makes me wonder if the interest level in this film would be much more positive if people weren’t burnt out on the details of Cruise’s private life.
I like J.J. Abrams. I like Phillip Seymour Hoffman. If I see the movie, it’ll be for their talents. But from what I’ve read, Hoffman isn’t given very much screen time and the film seems to be edited in favor of Cruise. So, essentially, we end up with a movie abou a hero fighting a villian with no screen time. Sounds like cutting of your nose to save face. Which maybe what I’m doing by shunning the talents of those I like over those of one I don’t. But what can I say? I’m petty.
Happy Cinco de Mayo, everyone!
[ No Comments ]
So today’s comic is a continuation of the story arc I kicked off last Friday in which Jared has a crisis of faith in the wake of Ben Affleck’s directorial debut of Gone Baby Gone. Lest you think I’m pumping up the quality of this picture to service the needs of my story, check out the 93% positive rating over at Rotten Tomatoes. It’s got to count for something.
I know today’s comic doesn’t exactly deliver the funny. But sometimes you have to sacrifice a day for the greater good of the story. Jimmy getting thrown out of his house (lo, those many years ago) didn’t exactly illicit chortles, either.
Exposition, folks. Exposition.
As to why I’m going back to storylines, if you didn’t read last Friday’s blog, I strongly encourage you to do so. I posted it a little last week and it explains a lot. Including stuff going on behind the scenes that prevented me from doing what I’m doing now.
Back to movie talk (sort of), I didn’t get a chance to see Gone Baby Gone this weekend. I mostly spent my time catching up on household duties after being in Chicago last week. I had kind of let the grass grow in our yard a little too long before I left and then we got a full week of rain. So I spent about 2 hours mowing, re-mowing, raking up clippings and fertilizing the front yard and another 3 hours the next day doing the same in the backyard. Plus, I had to clean out the garage and, well… isn’t the minutia of suburban living interesting?
At any rate, if you want to see some photos of a walkabout I took in The Windy City, I posted them to my Flickr account. I was bitching and moaning about it in my personal LiveJournal about it all last week, if that interests you. It might give you some context, especially about the crap-tastic Congress Hotel, where I stayed.
Incidentally, while I was in Chicago last week, I hung out with Gordon McAlpin from Multiplex and we tried to get our weekly installment of The Triple Feature talkcast off the ground with our good friend Joe Dunn from Joe Loves Crappy Movies. Talkshoe was broken, or something, so we had to abandon the show. But we’re giving it another try tonight! So be sure to participate this evening at 9:00 PM CST. Hopefully we won’t have any problems!
That’s about it on my end. See you Wednesday!
[ No Comments ]
I was trying to think of something witty to talk about in today’s blog post or at least something movie-related. But this is the down side of doing a longer story arc. There’s not much to say. I can’t really tease too much what’s going to happen. So I feel like this blog post is the internet equivalent of two people sitting in a room together staring uncomfortably at each other.
*cough*
I guess I can say that I’m having fun writing Jared as emotionally conflicted. It’s probably funnier for me since I know the real-life Jared and he’s about as mild-mannered as you can get. To depict him as aggressively bi-polar (and violent, to boot) is endlessly hilarious to me.
I know that for you, the reader, your perception is somewhat different. After all, this isn’t the first time that Jared has demonstrated random violence in the strip. Some readers have come to know him as mostly quiet, but secretly unhinged. I’ve read descriptions of him where I think to myself “No, that’s not him at all!” But then I look at the comics and think to myself “Well, I can kind of see how you came to that conclusion.”
The tone of today’s comic is somewhat apt because I’ve been in a cranky mood lately. I can’t discuss it. I’m not even sure if I can put a finger on it. But let’s just say that I’m someone who is very in touch with his anger. I’m not advocating violence as depicted in the comic. That’s just taking a mood and exaggerating it for effect. But my personal interpretation of anger is that it can be an effective tool and not always a negative. Anger is the flip side of passion, if you ask me. It can be scary, it can be confrontational, it can be ugly. But anger should never censor itself or be censored by others. People wouldn’t work themselves up into a frenzy if they didn’t care.
And that’s the opposite of anger. Listlessness, uncaring, unengaged. I would rather have someone angry at me than disinterested in me.
Wow. What a weird little essay to attach to a comic about a guy who has lost his hatred toward Ben Affleck.
Not much else for you today. Download Monday’s Triple Feature talkcast if you’re so inclined. It was a really weird show. It just kind of… stopped. I guess that’s what happens when we go a week without talking to each other like we did last week due to technical difficulties. We get rusty.
At any rate, download the show. Complete your collection! Gotta have ’em all!
See you later.
[ No Comments ]
There are some pretty serious problems in the world. But, really – who cares, right? Britney Spears just Botoxed her forehead!
Okay, I know that’s a little sanctimonious. But I’m making fun of myself just as much as the culture that spawned me. Jared’s discriminating taste in regard to a celebrity he chooses to focus his hatred on is a fairly minor concern in the large scheme of things. But how many people do you know retreat into the world of celebrity-bashing when the Real World becomes too oppressive. Exactly. They have a whole network that revolves around it, for goodness sakes!
Has anyone noticed that I’ve been trying to mix things up with the panel arrangement in the last few strips? Something I overlooked during my time with Juice was creative panel arrangement. In the strips I would have to repurpose for the publication, I would have to remain really rigid about the four-panel layout. Because instead of the two-on-two stacked arrangement we have on the site, it was four panels wide in print.
All part of those pesky “patterns” I fell into.
At any rate, I’m really enjoying mixing it up a little. It’s weird to keep drawing Jared so exaggerated. But I suppose since now I’ve established that he’s aggressively bi-polar, I can get away with it.
I’m very excited because I finally scheduled a day off for myself Friday, November 9 to work on the redesign of the site. My good friend Brian Arnold has got us all hooked up through WordPress and now it’s just a matter of me sitting down and designing a page template that I’m going to turn over to a generous reader by the name of Keith Solomon who will transform it into something I can use for WordPress.
Believe me, this is going to be great. The archive system will be beefed up, there will be a calendar on the home page, the commenting system will be back and we have WordPress’s power running the whole thing.
Optimistically, once I get this up and running, I might bring the THorum back, too.
It’s time to circle the wagons. Theater Hopper had a great year in 2006, but 2007 was a little fractured for me. I really want to take the time to make this site a destination for people again – a community. Because that’s a big part of why I got into this in the first place.
Anyway, I guess I can’t share anything more exciting than “I’m taking a day off!” I can’t say for sure when the changeover to WordPress will occur. But I have my sights set for January ’08. Stay tuned.
That’s all for now. Have a great weekend, everybody!
[ No Comments ]
It’s been very interesting to read the comments people have been sending me since I revealed Shia LaBeouf to be Ben Affleck’s replacement in regards to Jared’s anti-celebrity ire. A lot of you think I’ve set my targets on the wrong guy. “He’s just a kid! Give him a break! He’s a good actor – why don’t you go after someone with less talent?” they say.
But then there are an enlightened few of you who have responded and said “YES! THANK YOU! I thought I was the only one who hated that guy! Now I know I’m not alone!”
I like to think of these people as the early adopters of the anti-Shia movement I’m starting. For those of you who want me to cut the kid a break, believe me – I see where you’re coming from. On the surface, he seems to be an okay guy and not causing any problems. But I’m warning you – there’s something sinister going on! I’ll take my lumps for the time being. That’s the price you pay for staying ahead of the trend.
For those of you on board with me, here’s something to brighten your day. Shai’s mug shot from our good friends at TheSmokingGun.com
Kind of looks like he had his picture taken at the Sears Portrait Studio, doesn’t it? Gotta love that glazed over stare.
Switching gears, I hope everyone had a chance to listen to The Triple Feature broadcast on Monday. Not only because I think we had a really good show, but also because I’m doing a contest giveaway for Michael Moore’s Sicko. The first half of a clue is embedded in the show. The second half is in my reveiew of Sicko that went up on the site yesterday. So check those out, send the whole clue with your name and address to theaterhopper@hotmail.com and be entered in the contest to win! One winner will be chosen at random.
Sicko came out on DVD yesterday. If you have a chance to view it, I strongly encourage you do. It was a great movie. I real eye-opener.
Be sure to come back to the site tomorrow as I have another review planned for you. Originally I was going to cover Ratatouille and The Pixar Short Films Collection – Volume 1 (also out on DVD yesterday), but so far I’ve only watched the Short Films Collection and was side-tracked by an advanced screening of a film I saw with friends yesterday.
It was called The Business of Being Born and it’s another documentary about the health care industry. I wasn’t expecting to like it as much as I did, but this movie (coupled with Sicko) delivered a one-two punch that’s left me reeling. I think there is more that can be explored by paring these two reviews together this week, so look for that tomorrow. You can expect Pixar goodness next week.
That’s it for now! Have a great day!
[ No Comments ]
