ONE MAN’S PUN IS ANOTHER MAN’S DISPLEASURE
April 28th, 2004 | by Tom(6 votes, average: 8.83 out of 10)
It IS true that long time Star Trek producer Rick Berman is looking into filming an eleventh Star Trek movie. But since the cast of The Next Generation announced (in unison, I presume) that the Gawd-awful Nemesis would be their swan song, Berman has had to rely on his wits to get by.
His answer? A prequel!
Yes, Rick Berman isn’t satisfied until he’s ruined everything Gene Roddenberry hoped to accomplish with his franchise.
You’ll have to apologize for the lame Khan joke that kicks off today’s strip. It’s been done before and by better comics. But I felt it was a necessary device to get to the William Shatner underwear-stealing gag I had saved for the last panel.
Not much else to report for the moment, but if you have a webcam and are looking for new portals on which to slap your mug, it should be known that the Theater Hopper forums has a portal of its very own! All you have to do is sign up for an account in the forums, include the URL path to your cam image and you’re set!
Also, don’t forget that pre-orders for the very first Theater Hopper t-shirt end this Friday. Be sure to check out the store to find out how to order one!
If you guys are wondering what’s up with today’s strip, then I invite you to take a trip in The Wayback Machine to precisely a week ago to check out where this story arc began. All caught up? Good!
Today’s strip reintroduces a long-lost fan favorite character – Scurvy Joe: the local transient in Tom and Jared’s neighborhood. He helped scare the pimp juice out of Tom in this comic from earlier in the year.
I don’t know why I’m dusting off these old characters. First Goth Jared. Now Scurvy Joe. It must be a bug I’ve caught from all those year-end, top 10 list programs I’ve been seeing so much of on TV.
Went to see Ocean’s Twelve on Friday and was pleasantly surprised. I think my expectations were low because advance reviews were saying, while fun, the movie carries little heft.
While essentially true, you’ll still have a damn good time in this movie. It’s just good entertainment, even if it doesn’t add up to much.
Fans who loved the heist aspect of Ocean’s Eleven will probably be disappointed here. The majority of the crew spends the movie in a European prison. Bernie Mac is almost completely wasted as he’s one of the first to get pinched.
In any case, it’s less about the heist and the “How’d they DO that?!” and more about the twists and turns. The fake-outs. The red herrings. A few of them you can see coming a mile away. Actually, after the fact, they all seem pretty obvious. But the movie zips along at such a steady clip, you feel like you’re two steps behind the crooks.
Julie Roberts still annoys as the most gaunt-looking pregnant woman in film history, but props to Catherine Zeta-Jones. She gives a very confident performance and one of her least condescending in years. It’s almost enough to make me forget those T-Mobile advertisements and rekindle the same kind of interest she sparked with her turn in The Mask of Zorro so many years ago.
…almost.
Those of you who ordered t-shirts, baby doll tees or hoodies the last few weeks will be happy to know that I’ve placed the order with the printer. No E.T.A. on when I’ll receive them, but once I know, you’ll know. Check this space for updates. Previous experience indicates it could be anywhere between two to three weeks before they’re in your hot, little hands. So nothing by Christmas, sorry. Then again, I never promised that, did I? ;-D
If you missed the boat on this last round of orders, I’m taking pre-orders for a whole other batch. Everything we sell, you can find in the store.
One last bit of fun. I know I promised not to bug you guys about it, but Theater Hopper has been hovering around number 11 on the buzzComix list for about a week now and I’ve playfully laid down the gauntlet to Anime Arcadia that I will usurp their position on the list. We’re about 60 votes away from achieving that goal, so if you want to lend a hand, it would be pretty cool. Just to say we could do it.
More later. Sleep now.
I like to think I learn from my mistakes, so here’s Friday’s comic – on time!
I don’t know if you want to bother voting for Theater Hopper at buzzComix today. I was totally bankrupt for ideas when it came to penciling today’s incentive sketch, so I tried to draw a picture of Darth Vader from memory. It’s kinda close, but that’s a generous assessment. It’s like saying Joan Rivers looks kinda like a human being.
I thought we were at a safe enough distance away from the Charlie storyline to bring back our title character in a more casual context. In some respects I felt like a lot was sacrificed to bring this new voice to the comic and then felt guilty for not utilizing her in the last month. So here she is. Don’t worry. We’re not embarking on some giant storyline again. This is just a casual insert of a regular cast member no different than Jared or Jimmy.
HOWEVER I will point out that today’s comic tells you a lot about Charlie. Probably more in a few panels then I was able to achieve in 6 comics during the storyline. That’s right. Charlie’s a nerd.
For those of you with active imaginations, let me say right now that Tom and Charlie will not hook up. That’s not the kind of show we run here. If you want quasi-angsty relationship humor, there are plenty of other comics that fill that niche. I just thought it would be a fun bit of contrast to take this kind of vapid, looks-obsessed character and make her a nerd at heart. Nothing more, nothing less.
Anyway, I don’t have a lot to talk about at the moment that’s movie related. But I think you can forgive me for being less pre-occupied with that and more interested in the fact that Cami and I are celebrating our 5 year wedding anniversary today!
At the risk of sounding overtly sentimental, I look forward to our anniversary probably more than my birthday, Christmas or even Halloween. If there was ever an event to set time aside for to recognize, I think wedding anniversaries should be at the top of the list.
I talked about this in the THorum, but if you’re celebrating a birthday, that’s a singular achievement. Basically, people congratulate you for not dying that year. A wedding anniversary, on the other hand, is a celebration of the effort TWO people make to keep a union strong. It’s not a given. It’s not this arbitrary route-marker on the road of life. Every year is a milestone and worthy of your attention.
I’m not a real religious guy so I don’t have the threat of God looming over my shoulder on this one. So don’t think I’m expounding on the sanctity of marriage from a secular perspective.
No, I’ve always been enamored by couples who are able to make it work. I look in the paper for anniversary announcements and see people who have been together 50 or 60 years. Optimistically, I think they’re the lucky ones.
So happy 5th wedding anniversary, Cami! I love you!
Today’s comic is the yang to Wednesday’s comic yin. I thought it was important that Tom be served some kind of comeuppance for his comments in that strip because, well, I took a little heat for it.
I knew Wednesday’s comic and blog would generate a little controversy. It’s to be expected when you take a hard line on an unreasonable position.
Obviously anything I create for the site is meant to be interpreted as entertainment. But I think this is an instance where things got away from me a little bit.
Reader Matt Harrison forwarded me a link to a bit that Jerry Seinfield performed at the 2006 Oscar ceremony when he was announcing the nominees for Best Documentary. I had kind of forgotten about it, but when Matt mentioned it, part of the puzzle clicked. If you’ll allow me the indulgence, here is the transcript of his routine:
“I’m a huge fan of movies in general. I go all the time. I’ve noticed in theaters now they’re running some announcement trying to get you to pick up the garbage from around your seat. Oh, OK! Let me bring my orange jumpsuit and a wooden stick with a nail in it, too! Maybe I’ll work my way down the highway after the credits roll.
I’m not pickin’ nothin’ up! I’m the one that threw it down. How many different jobs do I have to do here?! There is an agreed-upon deal between us and the movie-theater people, it’s understood by every single person in this room. The deal is, YOU rip us off on overpriced, oversized crap that we shouldn’t be eating to begin with, and in exchange for that, when I’m done with something [holds out hand as if holding a soda cup], I open my hand [opens hand, letting the cup fall]. I’m not stickin’ my hand down into a dark hole to try and pry out three Goobers that have been soda-welded there since ‘The Shawshank Redemption’.”
That was kind of the spirit of things I was going for. Only problem is, I’m not Jerry Seinfeld and people can’t interpret your tone over the internet.
If I’m being honest, I wouldn’t have written what I did if I didn’t think there was a ring of truth to it. Concession prices are ridiculous and it feels like they’re adding insult to injury by telling us “Don’t forget to pick up after yourselves!” Especially when the status quo – the unspoken agreement – is that we’re spending our money to get away from those kind of responsibilities as long as there is someone there to do the job for us.
Of course, there is no logical defense against acting responsibly. Trash bins are at theater exits for a reason. As one of my readers, a theater worker, pointed out “People seem to have no problem bringing in a full bucket of popcorn and a 32oz. soda. But when it comes to taking out a few empty cups, it’s too much of a hassle.”
That’s hard to refute.
Reading the e-mails and forum discussions that spawned from Wednesday comic, I stuck to my guns at first. Partly because there’s no such thing as bad press and I wanted people to continue talking about the comic. I was also interested in seeing where the conversation would go. During the debate, I claimed that leaving your trash in the theater is a small way to “stick it to the man.”
That was the turning point.
The thing I overlooked in this whole debate are the people at the front lines – the theater workers who have to clean up this garbage. Yes, concession prices have inflated over the years, but little (if any) of that money trickles down to the theater worker. Why make an unpleasant job harder by refusing to make a minimal effort.
At first I protested. After all, I was once a theater worker. I used to have to pick up the most foul crap imaginable. We didn’t complain. That was the job and we knew it. Where was my advocate.
But then I realized that I’m nearly 30 years old and I need to get over it. This, as it turns out, is not the appropriately mature, adult thing to do. Additionally, as a blogger with some influence (however limited) it simply wasn’t responsible to suggest to my readers that it is acceptable to leave trash in a theater.
So as of this moment I’m renouncing my garbage-leaving ways and I encourage you to do the same. It doesn’t take a lot of effort and you’ll be the better person for it.
If you’re still looking for a way to “stick it to the man” and make your statement about the price of a popcorn and soda, boycott the concession counter. Send a message to the theater managers and hit them where it hurts – their pocketbooks. Don’t take it out on the little guy.
Or, you know, sneak your own soda into the theater.
C’mon! It’s Friday. I can still be a little bad!
Have a great weekend everyone!
If you follow me on Twitter or Facebook, you probably caught my announcement yesterday about celebrating my 10th wedding anniversary with Cami. And, if you didn’t, well… you are now!
It’s difficult for me to talk about the anniversary without sounding like I’m bragging or too proud. But, darn it… I’m proud! 10 years is a big deal and worth celebrating. I think it’s cool that I’m able to share it with so many people.
Cami and I have actually been together a lot longer than 10 years. The wedding anniversary is just the celebration of a legal document. In fact, we’ve been together for 15 years – almost half our lives. We were high school sweethearts and we married 5 years to the day of our first date. I don’t know about you, but I think that’s cool.
But, of course, I love it when dates and stuff like that line up neatly. I think it’s awesome that Cami and I got married in 2000. Not only because of symbolism of starting a new life together in a new millennium. But it means I can always do some simple math if I ever forget how many years we’ve been together when I’m old and senile. “Lessee… It’s 2056 and we were married in 2000… So that means we’ve been married… 56 YEARS!”
I’m telling you, fellas, it’s a bulletproof plan. Maybe I’m a closeted numerologist, or something. More likely, I suck at math and need all the help I can get!
To celebrate our anniversary last night, Cami and I recruited my parents to babysit Henry and Pearl and we had a very nice meal at a restaurant we love. We had the best time just talking, eating and sharing a bottle of wine. Afterwords, we ran an errand at Target and got a car wash. We joked about it. “What did you do on your 10th wedding anniversary?” “Oh, we got a car wash.”
We we were younger, we used to fantasize about our 10th wedding anniversary. We vaguely planned to go to Hawaii to celebrate. Of course, we had kids and I lost my job last summer. Then our oven crapped out on us last month, so we decided to buy a new oven and count that as our anniversary present for each other.
It sounds unglamorous on paper, but it’s not. It’s representational of how we’ve built a life together, how sometimes plans change and you go with the flow as best you can. How you grow, adjust and learn. If you’re lucky and you’ve picked the right person, hard times are never really hard. And you become a better person because you have someone to share these things with.
Cami makes me a better person and I’m having a blast being married to her.
Happy 10th anniversary, Cami. Here’s to 10 more… and 10 more after that… and 10 more after that.