Posts Tagged ‘Dakota Fanning’
3 items.
Jun10
Taking MTV to task for no longer playing music is a bit like shooting fish in a barrel. Added to that, it’s not very original.
But for better or worse, The MTV Movie Awards was a big-ticket news item in the world of movies this week and it’s what I decided to spoof.
I suppose I could have taken shots at Mr. and Mrs. Smith, coming out today. But would anyone be interested in another commentary about celebrity hook-ups immediately following the shot I fired across the bow of TomKat in Wednesday’s strip?
I am 27 years old. I’ll be 28 in December. The closer I get to 30, the further I fall outside of MTV’s target audience. On the surface, I’m fine with this. Call it “The Circle of Life.” But underneath, there is a little resentment. Growing up as part of the “MTV Generation,” what does it feel like when Mommy and Daddy don’t love you anymore?
I could have cared less about The MTV Movie Awards last night. I didn’t even know they were on until I stumbled past them on the dial. However, there was a time when the MTV Movie Awards were very important to me. I remembered the skits they did and how the whole affair seemed like a grand zinger fired in the face of conventional award shows – and specifically, the stodgy Oscar telecasts. With bright, flashy graphics and set designs that looked like they threatened to tumble into the audience and crush Adam Sandler, it was aimed straight toward the visceral sensibilities of a 14 year-old boy.
And it worked.
Watching it now, I can see through all the glitz (or do they call it “bling” now-a-days?) In fact, the proceedings show its hand so transparently, it’s like playing poker with a moron who will lean over and ask you “Are these four aces any good?”
The show used to be live. That’s out the window. Now it’s taped in advance and all the news outlets report the winners. No reason to watch now!
Even if you did watch, you can tell that all of the winners have been notified in advance that they’re taking home “The Golden Popcorn,” so they’d better be in attendance. You’ll notice that there’s never a shot of the multiple nominees glaring expectantly at the podium when the winner is announced. The people who win couldn’t look more unsurprised. What reason does that give me to be invested in their achievement?
At least in years past the skits between awards were good for a laugh. I will still never get over The Brady Bunch re-enacting the interrogation scene from Basic Instinct. Classic. This year? Nary a titter. My funny bony remains unmoved.
Analyzing the show as if it had any merit is frustrating to an alarming degree. I’ve been hip to this scam for a while, but looking back on how much B.S. I was willing to ignore for the sake of being entertained tells me what a dumb teenager I really was. It’s embarrassing.
Thinking about the kids who are growing up with this kind of low-grade – Nay! – almost narcoleptic marketing makes me think that they won’t have a chance at all when it comes to maturing into independent thinkers.
I guess that explains how someone like Britney Spears could become popular…
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So are you guys ready to see the lamest incentive sketch ever? Hey, you gotta understand, I was out celebrating my sister-in-law’s birthday last night. I didn’t get home until 11:00 PM and then had to whip together a comic. But if you vote for Theater Hopper at Web Comics List, you know I’ll treat you like a brother.
Here’s to poor planning!
Yeah, yeah. I know today’s comic kind of recycles Wednesday’s comic. But I promise I’ll make it up to you on Monday. I have a good one in the bin involving a certain Mr. Affleck and his recently announced nuptials.
Jury is still out on whether or not to see War of the Worlds. I think Cami has sincerely fallen in love with the idea of boycotting the movie on principle, but the hard core movie fan in me keeps saying “You should at least see it – just so you know what you’re hating.” I can talk myself into anything.
From what I’ve heard, the bulk of the movie is spectacular. Wrought with tension, fun to watch. It’s the beginning of the movie that’s lame and the ending that’s a real clunker. Again, it appears Spielberg can’t stop himself from heaping on the schmaltz and it totally deep six’s the atmosphere of dread he built up to that point.
This is only what I’ve read, but the criticism wouldn’t surprise me. He does this in all his films. I was particularly offended by the shiny, happy robot ending of A.I. – Artificial Intelligence.
I’m sure most of you remember that the movie was originally the pet project of the late Stanley Kubrick. After his death, Spielberg took it over to honor his friend. Let me tell you, that movie does Kubrick no honors. The first time you think the movie is over, eject the DVD and don’t look back, because the rest of it is just going to ruin it for you.
Anyway, back on track. I doubt we’ll have time to see War of the Worlds this weekend anyway because Cami and I will be taking the holiday weekend to pack up all our crap for the big move we have coming up on the 12th.
You guys know all about this, right? We’re moving to a new house about 5 minutes away from our old house. Of course, they say it’s the short moves are the worst. They’re probably right. I predict we’ll probably run about 30 or so car trips between homes before the professional movers come in on the 14th to carry out all the heavy stuff.
But this leads me to my next point – I’m REALLY gonna need guest strips from you guys before July 10. So if you’re interested, draw something up and send it to me at theaterhopper@hotmail.com. If you can keep your images in JPG format, that’s best. And the strips can be as long as you want, just no wider than 525 pixels. Otherwise, they break the site layout.
That about does it for me. I hope everyone has a great weekend!
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I know I should probably be talking about Pirates of the Caribbean: Dead Man Chest’s incredibly record-shattering $132 million weekend, but I saw this press release about Dakota Fanning being offered membership into The Academy of Motion Picture Arts and Sciences and had to comment on it before it was no longer news-worthy.
Clearly, this is a move by the A.M.P.A.S. to counteract criticisms that it’s an old-fogey club. If you check the roster of other invitees, you’ll see younger actors such as Jake Gyllenhaal, Keira Knightley and Joaquin Phoenix we extended membership. But it’s Fanning’s name that sticks out like a sore thumb.
Dakota Fanning is 12 YEARS OLD. She can’t vote in an acutual election, but she can throw in her two cents on next year’s Best Picture nominees. Granted, helping to figure out who 2007’s Best Sound Effects award should go to is less imperitive than choosing who should be the next person to sit in the Oval Office, but can a 12 year-old objectively judge this kind of stuff? Or, more likely, was Fanning’s name tossed into the mix as a shrewd publicity move to get the media outlets to notice their larger initiative of proving that the Oscars are young! The Oscars are hip!
Truthfully, the name on the membership invitation list that REALLY caught my eye was Werner Herzog. If you need ANY proof that the A.M.P.A.S. is out of touch – even with their own constituents – you need look no futher than Herzog’s name on the invitation list. Outside of perhaps Tony Kaye, I can think of no other director who is more PURPOSEFULLY outside of the mainstream than Herzog. Obviously, it’s either some kind of makeup gesture for excluding Grizzly Man from the Best Documentary category last year or – barring that – Herzog’s more public profile as of late probably woke someone up and they said "Hey, that guy makes movies arty people like! Let’s invite him."
It’s my hope that Herzog tells them to take a long walk off a short pier. But that’s just me.
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