Posts Tagged ‘Catherine Zeta Jones’
3 items.
Last weekend was nothing short of a movie-watching frenzy for my wife and me. On Friday, we saw School of Rock which she kept calling School House Rock. However you’d like to refer to it, it was good. It’s refreshing to know that Richard Linklater can make another fun movie after such heady fare as Waking Life. Not that I didn’t like that movie, it’s just that I get migraines whenever I think about it.
On Saturday, we saw Intolerable Cruelty. Although I liked it, I stopped thinking about it by the time I got home. The movie was full of close-ups of George Clooney and Catherine Zeta Jones. Their beauty only reminded us in the audience how unattractive we really are, except my wife; she’s hot.
Saturday nights are meant for parties, bar mitzvahs, and discos. So of course it would make sense that we watched Philadelphia. The movie was an early birthday gift from my mother-in-law. I’m not exactly sure what it is about me that made her think of Philadelphia, but it was a very sweet gesture and she’s one of the sweetest people I know. The movie made me want to buy those action figures that they advertised on SNL. Where can I get those?
And yesterday we saw Kill Bill. Tom’s description did it justice so I won’t go into it. I just want to say that I’m glad Erin, the love of my life, is cool enough to see that movie with me. Not only that, she didn’t want to leave in the middle, when the going got bloody, like the female half of the couple next to us did. Yes, I picked a good one.
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I couldn’t really think of a fun parody image to reward you with for voting for Theater Hopper at buzzComix, so here’s a doodle of Tom spinning a plate! Why not, right?
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Cami and I had a very productive movie-watching weekend. I took Friday off and we spent the late morning at the zoo and then swung over to the theater for a matinee of The Terminal.
Maybe there is something wrong with the two of us, but we HATED this movie!
If you’re not familiar with the concept of the film, Tom Hanks plays an immigrant coming to the United States. But while he is in the air, a military coup occurs in his country and the government is overthrown. With the new government in place, Hank’s old country does not exist and the United States does not recognize the new one. This renders his passport invalid. He can’t return to his homeland and he can’t step onto American soil. He ends up in limbo, living inside the airport’s terminal waiting for the black tape to be cleared up.
The first 45 minutes of the movie are interesting as Hanks character attempts to overcome the situation. There is the inevitable language barrier, and some clever situation involving the food vouchers he loses and how he generates money so that he can eat.
But the film quickly loses steam once Hanks is given Catherine Zeta-Jones’ character to pine after. Zeta-Jones is TOTALLY miscast as a flight attendant who is woefully dependent on her relationships with men – ANY man. Think about every Catherine Zeta-Jones character ever put to screen. Bossy, confident, pushy. She doesn’t do “conflicted” very convincingly.
There are several points in the movie that ring emotionally false. For example, the scene detailed in today’s comic. In an attempt to win her over, Hanks takes Zeta-Jones’ character “out” for a romantic dinner. But since he can’t leave the terminal, they dine out on the terrace overlooking the tarmac. Various terminal employees lend a hand by posing as waiters. Suddenly, Kumar Pallana’s character – Gupta the janitor – steps in and starts spinning plates and juggling hoops… FOR NO REASON!
Another subplot involves one of the said terminal worker’s longing to gain the attention of an INS agent that Hank’s character sees on a daily basis. In exchange for food, he recruits Hanks to learn more information about her until he can build up the nerve to talk to her. The end of the subplot comes about when Hanks delivers an engagement ring on behalf of the airport employee and tells the INS agent he waits for him in the food court. She arrives, ring on finger and they get married! Neither of these characters have exchanged ONE LINE of dialogue in the entire movie!
This movie was setting off my B.S. detector more than I care to recall. Hanks – although portraying an lovable, almost infallible character, loses points for his Eastern Bloc “accent” which sounds more like guttural mumblings the more he learns English than anything authentic.
Cinematography Janusz Kaminski also drops the ball by creating a very murky color palette in some scenes while totally bleaching out others.
Ultimately, Hanks’ reasons for coming to the United States don’t seem to warrant the amount of patience he displays as he whittles away his time in the terminal. And there are several other scenes that felt lifted straight out of a sitcom. For example, the solemn line of police officers preventing Hanks from leaving, but then – AT THE LAST MINUTE – having a change of heart!
Have you ever watched some softball romantic comedy where all the misunderstanding that erupt during the course of the film could be cleared away if only one character would come forward with ONE PIECE of information? That’s what The Terminal feels like. We’re never given any reason why Stanley Tucci’s bureaucratic Frank Dixon just doesn’t push Hanks out the door when he becomes infuriated by his constant presence beyond some rigid obligation to “The Rules”. There is no genuine conflict here. Just a highly improbable situation that failed to connect with me despite several tries.
Hmm… I’m noticing that this little bloggy-blog is getting a little long in the tooth and I still haven’t gotten to the other two movies I saw this weekend – Dodgeball: A True Underdog Story and Saved!
Tell you what. I’ll come back to this space later and give you my thoughts on these films then. Sound good? Come back here for more overblown insights!
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Today’s incentive sketch is brought to you by the letter "Z!"
So The Legend of Zorro comes out on Friday and I find myself in the odd position of being very excited by the idea of Antonio Banderas donning the mask and cape again, but slightly confused as to where exactly this movie is coming from.
I mean, it’s been 7 years since The Mask of Zorro. Typically, if a sequel is made, it’s done when the franchise is still sort of fresh in people’s minds. Why come back now?
Okay, okay. Zorro – as a franchise – has been around for over 100 years. He’s as much a staple of modern entertainment as he is a type of mythical figure like Robin Hood or maybe King Arthur. And, yes – The Lone Ranger totally stole his gimmick. But then again, so did Batman and pretty much every supero hero thereafter.
But I’m talking about this iteration – with Antonio Banderas playing the swashbuckling hero, Cathrine Zeta Jones returning as his wife and even director Martin Campbell back behind the lens. What’s the draw?
Banderas I envision as some kind of acting dynamo who does the work because he loves it. Cathrine Zeta Jones returning seems like a step backwards to me. I mean, she’s probably doing fine hawking cell phones. What point is there returning to a role where she’s just the eye candy? She’s an Oscar winner, right? What is up with the Halle Berry’s, Charlize Theron’s and Jennifer Connolly’s of this world that feel the need to follow up their Oscar wins with action films?
Remember when Catherine Zeta Jones used to be kind of cool? When The Mask of Zorro first came out, I remember being entranced. When Entrapment soon followed, I was bewitched. That is, when I wasn’t grossed out and distracted by Sean Connery making a pass at her every 15 minutes.
But somewhere around High Fidelity, her aura began to change. The character she played – Charlie – was a rambling, self-absorbed blow hard and you kind of got the sense it wasn’t that big of a stretch for her to play that role. By the time America’s Sweethearts came out, the idea that she was – in actuality – a pretty terrible person became firmly cemented in my head.
Winner her Best Supporting Actress Oscar for Chicago made her even more insufferable in my mind. I even took to calling her Catherine Ego Jones.
So why return to Zorro? Is this some act of contrition? Has she become aware of her frigid persona and is returning to her "roots," as it were, to remind people "Hey! Remember when we first met and how much fun I was?!" Maybe. We’ll see if it works.
I think I’m ready for an old-fashioned adventure flick. With all the swordplay and derring-do involved, it’s a wonder they didn’t cast Orlando Bloom as Zorro.
Darn it! That probably would have been the much better comic! But actually, I’m a little sick of talking about Orlando Bloom. Aren’t you?
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