Don’t you hate it when the lines of communication get crossed? Tom and Jared are going to look pretty silly trying to get into the theater for free with Tom looking like a Las Vegas hustler and Jared looking like a Hot Topic reject.

Those of you familiar with the site are probably aware of Jared’s long dormant personality – GOTH Jared. He’s kind of like the evil Captain Kirk except lethargic instead of evil and without the goatee so you can tell them apart.

So Blade: Trinity opens today and I’m in this weird paradox where on the one hand I know it will be formula and I don’t care about it, while on the other, seeing a vampire movie two weeks before the holidays really turns me on. That’s great counter programming, kids.

Blade as a franchise is kind of an odd duck for me. The first movie was filmed before the success of Spider-Man and X-Men or the notoriety of Daredevil or The Hulk. It’s kind of this Marvel comic book property that exists in its own pocket universe, protected from the detractors of the comic book genre.

Part horror, part action, part blacksploitation – the Blade movies are unique unto themselves. That said, is it shameful to admit that I find the lead character and Wesley Snipes’ performance the least intriguing aspect of the movies?

The first Blade was notorious for it’s off the wall violence and gore – something not seen in traditional comic book adaptations. That rave scene at the beginning where all the blood comes out of the fire sprinklers really set the tone. Plus, it casts L.A. street urchin Stephen Dorff as the main baddie. Hilarious casting!

Blade II had a pre-Hellboy/post The Devil’s Backbone Guillermo del Toro in the director’s chair. This film caught a lot of flack for being too dependent on shoddy CGI, but I thought The Reapers were pretty cool as far as creatures-of-the-night is concerned. Those little Predator-like mandibles coming out of the sides of their faces were pretty inventive. And really, how can you go wrong by adding Ron Pearlman to anything. With a shaved head to boot!

With Blade: Trinity, casting is again what has caught my attention. Jessica Biel, shedding the “Daddy’s little ‘Girl Gone Wild'” image and transforming herself into an ace archer. The erstwhile Van Wilder – Ryan Reynolds – packing on 25 pounds of muscle as a former vampire. WWE wrestling potentate Paul Michael Levesque – AKA “Triple H” putting on the pointy fangs. Indie Queen Parker Posey doing the same. And for the hell of it, they threw in Patton Oswalt.

Kids, Wesely Snipes is going to be the least interesting thing on the screen.

Naturally, Cami wants nothing to do with seeing this movie in the theater. So maybe Jared and I can weasel our way into it after navigating the crazed holiday crowds. We’ll see.

By the way, only a few more days to pre-order all of the clothing items in the store. December 10th is the cut off date! Don’t forget!