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Just because summer’s over doesn’t mean the studios aren’t trying to squeeze in some of their outright stinkers before Oscar season heats up.
Into the Blue, for example. A treasure-hunting picture with Jessica Alba and Paul Walker. Wouldn’t this move have been more interesting if it were released in June or July when the weather is warm? It must be a real turkey. In fact, Tom’s convinced he’ll be in sore need of something if made to watch it.
Today’s comic isn’t about Into the Blue specifically, but about the abysmal state of commercial movies in general this year. I only had Jared list a handful of the worst offenders this year, but could have gone on indefinitely. There were a lot of bad movies this year. A lot of sequels and a lot of retreads on franchises that already had footing in television or books. Very little in terms of original screenplays were put in front of audiences this year and I think the industry was punished accordingly with some of the lowest box office receipts in the last 10 years.
I’ve gone on in the past about Hollywood needing to provide more in terms of fulfilling content when in competition against satellite television, video games and even themselves with the Goliath DVD market. Give us something to care about, something we’ve never seen before. We’ll come back. We promise. People are still hungry for authentic theater experience, but there is only so many obstacles you can put in front of them before they decide it’s not worth the effort.
Thank goodness for the autumn. More cerebral films are starting to fill up the multiplexes. I feel like I can start using my brain again.
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There’s usually not a lot of argument as to the question of mortality when one is struck broadside by an eighteen-wheeler. But if you need further evidence of David’s untimely demise, vote for Theater Hopper at Web Comics List for the proof.
After "outting" the erstwhile David as a device to lampoon wacky secondary characters, there was no choice left but to kill him. I had pretty much rendered him impotent at that moment, so why not go out with a bang, yes?
That was pretty much the plan all along. Establish a new character, reveal him as a tool designed to deconstruct conventional storytelling approaches, kill him off. I’m begining to worry this might be a theme for me. The killing off of characters, at least. After all, it wasn’t that long ago that Dewey met his end at the top of the Empire State Building.
I don’t have much more to say about the arc than that. I feel I’ve pretty much left everything I wanted to say in the strip. I was happy how the art turned out on this last strip. It’s good to go out on a high note, but I’ll be happy to going back to making fun of new movie releases. I say that every time, don’t I?
Sales are going strong on the great apparel liquidation of ’06. I’m not going to beat you over the head about it. After all, it’s the weekend. We could do without the extra shilling.
Okay, one last shill. The sale ends February 6.
Here’s hoping everyone has a great weekend!
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Originally, I wanted to do a comic about Hellboy II: The Golden Army for today’s update. I had a chance to see the movie last Friday and loved it. But seeing as I had just completed TWO Hellboy comics STARRING Hellboy last week, I thought it might be overkill. Truthfully, it would have been more of an excuse for me to try and rope things back into Theater Hopper territory and not do a straight-up parody. Best to let sleeping dogs lie.
I was about to do a comic I had on the back burner for Meet Dave. The set up was going to be Tom and Cami sitting at a table and Tom mentioning to Cami that Eddie Murphy had a new movies in theater. Her reply would have been a courteous but clipped “Oh, that’s nice” and then the last two panels were going to be completely without dialogue to reflect the idea that NO ONE CARES ABOUT EDDIE MURPHY ANYMORE!
If you think that last statement is too harsh, then just check out the box office on Meet Dave in it’s first week. 7th place and $5.3 million dollars? You really screwed the pooch with Norbit, Murphy. You could have had a Best Supporting Actor Oscar for Dreamgirls and pulled yourself out of this hole. Now you’ll be stuck doing tepid family films for ages.
Ah, who am I kidding. The guy has more money than God. He’s set for life.
Anyway, that was going to be my Meet Dave comic which I really like conceptually, but probably wouldn’t have worked in reality. Too low key, too subtle and I’m not sure people would have understood that neither Tom or Cami were particularly interested in the latest Eddie Murphy movie. It probably would have ended up looking like I forgot to add word bubbles to the last two panels.
Thank goodness for The Dark Knight. Probably one of the most anticipated films of the year and I feel like I have enough ground to cover with this one to do a WHOLE WEEK’S worth of strips. So, buckle up.
People have been going round and around talking about Heath Ledger’s performance of The Joker. And, of course, you can’t talk about Heath Ledger without mentioning that he died back in January from an accidental overdose. It’s kind of a catch-22. On the one hand, it feels slightly exploitative. But, on the other hand, it wouldn’t be responsible journalism if you didn’t mention it somewhere. It might almost be considered disrespectful to his memory – like you were trying to gloss over something that didn’t happen.
Any way you slice it, it’s a shame. I kind of feel bad for the other actors in the film that not have to field questions on two fronts. It’s no longer about promoting the movie. It’s also about Ledger and what his death means. I have a fantasy where Gary Oldman just goes off on some reporter for pushing the issue too far, but that’ll probably never happen.
Some critics are already saying Ledger should be nominated for an Oscar for his performance. Having not seen the movie, I can’t judge one way or the other. Although I’ve been impressed with the clips I’ve seen. Ledger is mesmerizing and it’s evident that he tapped into something primal in his depiction of The Joker.
That said, it’s all speculation and too soon to say if it’ll even happen. I try to think in the short term as well as the long term and if there was going to be any benefit at all from Ledger’s death, the best I could come up with is the absolute conclusion to lame Brokeback Mountain references.
It was only a couple of years ago, but you remember how it went. Seriously – if I had to listen to one more person do their riff on the line “I wish I knew how to quit you,” I would have screamed.
Hey, I was guilty of it, too! But some people hang onto that stuff a little too long. Admit it, you still know someone in your office making Borat references. “Very nice…”
At this point, a Brokeback reference would not only be irrelevant from a pop culture perspective, it would be downright insensitive. So, I think we can officially label this “The End of The Trend.”
A short programming note for those of you who are fans of The Triple Feature podcast – there will be no show tonight. Both Joe and Gordon are traveling, which would leave me by my little, old lonesome. So we decided to scrap this week’s show and get together NEXT week at 9:00 PM CST at TalkShoe.com to discuss Hellboy II and The Dark Knight. I don’t know who we’re trying to fool. You know we’ll only end up talking about The Dark Knight. Which is a shame. I had a great time watching Hellboy II and everyone I’ve talked to has enjoyed it as well. It would be a real treat to pour over it.
I guess you’ll just have to tune in next week to see!
Thanks for visiting the site today. I’ll see you here again on Wednesday! Have a great week!
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First things first – I want to say “Welcome!” to everyone coming here from PVP!
I was thrilled to see that Scott used my guest strip. Originally, I wasn’t going to do one for him because I figured he was probably swamped with submissions. But I started thinking about how he was trapped in Seattle, sweating it out in a hotel room, unable to fly home as he fought off a case of the flu he contracted at PAX and how much that had to suck. Being sick is one thing. Being sick so far away from home is something else entirely. The very least I could do to show a little solidarity is put together a guest strip for him. I’m just glad to know he liked it enough to share with everyone else!
If you’re new to Theater Hopper, it would probably benefit you to know a little bit about the comic. Theater Hopper is a semi-autobiographical comic about movies that I update every Monday, Wednesday and Friday. Basically I target whatever new movies are in theaters and make fun of them. But sometimes I do longer story lines, too.
In August, Theater Hopper celebrated it’s 7th anniversary and publishing our 1,000th comic. So if you plan on checking out the archives at all, I encourage you to use the little bookmark feature beneath the comic navigation so you don’t lose your place! Or, if you want a sample of the best the archives have to offer, check out the Top Rated page where Theater Hopper readers have voted for the comics they like the best.
Everything else you ever wanted to know about the comic can be found under the About section – including details about the cast and links to popular story lines.
One last thing I’ll mention… If you’re new to the site, you came at a very good time. I’m running a fire sale in my store right now and I’ve slashed prices on all my merchandise. Books are $9.99 and shirts are $7.99. I also have a few odds and ends – baby doll tees, posters and sampler booklets. The sale runs until Sunday, so be sure to check it out today!
Let’s switch gears…
When I heard Patrick Swayze had died on Monday at the age of 57, I can’t say it came as a complete shock. Anyone who has every passed by a super market check out knows that he had been battling pancreatic cancer for the last few years.
Still, his passing is sad. Just like the untimely passing of anyone is sad. Admittedly, I hadn’t given much thought to Swayze as an actor in the last few years. But watching some of his old footage, I’m struck by how much he reminds me of Tommy Lee Jones. Maybe it’s that Texas accent. But I think a lot of it has to do with how Swayze carried himself. Very confident, but gentle. Maybe if things were different, Swayze could have had a career like Tommy Lee Jones later in life.
Swayze has been eulogized as a rare mix of masculinity and grace. When you look over his body of work, the two competing elements are prominently displayed.
Take, for example, my favorite Patrick Swayze movie Road House. That movie came out two years after his big break in Dirty Dancing. Alternatively, Road House was followed by Ghost, which was followed by Point Break. The man knew his audience. He was certainly no dummy.
Road House was a total B movie, complete with terrible dialogue and cheesy, over the top sound effects that punctuated the fight scenes. But Swayze is totally believable as a bar room brawler. He makes the movie better just by being in it.
I talked about this a little bit on The Triple Feature on Monday, but Road House was a movie that always seemed to be on in my grandparents house. Mind you, my grandparents were not the apple pie and afghan sweater set. They were the kind of grandparents who would hang out at the Legion Hall and bet on horse races – just to give you a little bit of context.
But Road House always seemed to be on. Whether it was just one of those scenarios where HBO was just playing it over and over again to fill time or if my grandparents were genuinely into it and sought the movie out, the film left an impression on me in my pre-pubescent years.
Specifically, the last fight sequence (as referenced in the comic). Patrick Swayze – the man America fell in love with two summers prior as he romanced Jennifer Grey and danced the night away in Dirty Dancing – fighting to the death with some guy and ripping his throat out. A move so pimp, I’m pretty sure the developers of Mortal Kombat stole it from him as one of their finishing moves.
For your enjoyment (?) I’ve embedded a clip of this great scene. Aside from the violence of seeing a man rip out another man’s esophagus, the language is a little salty as well. So it’s probably safe to say this is NSFW and the little one’s should abstain from viewing.
You remember Patrick Swayze however you like. This is how I prefer to remember and how I will always remember him.
R.I.P. Patrick Swayze.
What’s your favorite Swayze memory? Leave your comments below!
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So as you may have heard, Shia LaBeouf got in a bar fight over the weekend. I read the headline in my Twitter feed on Sunday and immediately said “Well, there’s my comic for Monday!”
Yeah, yeah. I know it’s Tuesday. Sorry about that. I had the comic drawn and inked Sunady night, but my eyes were giving me trouble. They wouldn’t stop watering, so I had to call it early. Better late than never, right?
At any rate, LaBeouf got in a bar fight with a guy that was laughing at him and called him a gay slur. He got in the guy’s face, tried to take a swing at him and got popped in the lip. Cops showed up, cuffed both combatants but let them go when neither of them wanted to press charges.
I don’t particularly care to rake LaBeouf over the coals for the altercation. But it does stand as evidence toward every negative impression I have of the guy. The level of insecurity on this guy must be pretty high if he immediately feels the need to get in a fight because some random dude insults his masculinity. Also, I doubt LaBeouf would have been so tough if he weren’t being backup with with the dozen or so friends he brought with him that night.
I guess what I find most befuddling is why LaBeouf is hanging out in bars when he’s an admitted alcoholic?
Then again, that never stopped Charlie Sheen.
Oh, well. Just another night on the town in Young Hollywood, I suppose. He has his fun and I have mind.
Tell you what, Shia, just to make it up to you, how about I share the Transformers 3: Dark of the Moon Super Bowl spot with everyone. Looks like another signature Michael Bay explode-o-thon to me. I caught the commercial during the game on Sunday and really couldn’t make heads or tails of it. It doesn’t tease anything. It doesn’t tell you much at all. It basically tells you, “Hey, this movie exists.” Oh, and “BOOOOOOOM!”
But you can make your own decisions…
So, what did you think? Why not leave your comments below? Oh, and don’t forget to keep your eye on the Bonus Materials blog for more reactions to some of the Super Bowl trailers that came out this weekend. It should be a good time.
Not a fun as a bar fight, but still a good time.
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