I’m kind of conflicted about putting Final Destination 2I’ve spoken before about how an R rating is treated like the kiss of death (no pun). I say good for Final Destination 2 for not pulling any punches.
I guess I’m curious to see the film partly because of the Rube-Goldbergian methods of destruction the writers foist upon unsuspecting teenyboppers, But mostly, I wouldn’t mind poking my head inside the theater because I am a fan of the original. Anything written by two former X-Files scribes usually gets a pass in my book.
The first Final Destination was a good movie because it avoided all of the cliches of “new horror” while they were in the thick of the trend. Ever since Scream, it’s been hip to be self-referential or flippant about the truly horrible events surrounding the characters.
The first Final Destination spun that on its head by making the killer not a campsite recluse or dream-stalking bogeyman, but Death itself. There was no physical form to defeat or run away from, but you could still detect the machinations set into play by and unseen force with wholly unforeseen results. They could have made the film with adult actors and gotten away with it. The script was that good.
And that’s why I shudder at the idea of a sequel. They should have left it alone. I feel strongly that the first Final Destination could have gone on to be one of the great cult classics of horror/suspense. You could stand it up the the genre-redefining Scream or Halloween and I wouldn’t take issue with it. To peddle out a sequel makes me concerned that some of the power behind the original will diminish. The fact that they’re releasing a horror film in the beginning of February doesn’t bode well, either.
But then, what I am talking about? Both Scream and Halloween released several inferior follow-ups and it hasn’t taken the tarnish off of the originals. An amazing feat when you consider the 20 plus years Halloween has been with us. I guess I forget about the loyalty fans of this genre exhibit.
We’ll have to wait for the weekend box office tallies before we have the final say.
The punchline to this comic probably isn’t going to make a lot of sense if you aren’t a long-time reader of Theater Hopper. It actually references these comics from back in the day.
The Geek Truama Center was always a concept I wanted to explore further. It seems people are always doing stupid things to injure themselves. It stood to reason that geeks – being more devoted – would go to further and more bizarre lengths to do so. Plus, the character of "Mad-Eye" Moody from Harry Potter and The Goblet of Fire is already so visually striking, it would seem a shame to cover the movie and not mention him. Plus, I thought it sounded really funny to have Tom try to extract his eye with a toilet plunger.
Incidentally, the hospital staff at the Geek Trauma Center is VERY happy that Tom is up to his old monkey shines…
I don’t have a lot to say about the fourth movie in the Harry Potter cannon. I haven’t read any of the books, so I don’t know what to expect. Cami has read them all and says this one is her favorite.
I guess I’ve been doing SOME digging around on-line and it sounds like there were a lot of sub-plots they had to let go. For example, Hermione’s efforts to liberate the indentured house elves was totally cut. I don’t know if that kind of political strike – if you can call it that – would have fit that well into a holiday blockbuster anyway. Oh, well…
A funny thing happened in regard to my esteem for this franchise. The first couple of movies I kind of begrudgingly liked. I say "begrudgingly" because it was erstwhile Home Alone director Chris Columbus who lensed the first two installments. His predeliction is to make movies with kids sacchrine-sweet, but I felt he did an okay job reigning that instinct in.
Relenquishing the directors seat to Alfonso Curon for Harry Potter and The Prisioner of Azkaban, I was very impressed by the overall shift of the mood into darker territory as the children entered their tumultuous teenage years. Hearing that director Mike Newell plans to continue in that direction with Goblet of Fire gives me hope that the franchise will mature alongside the audiences expectations.
Piecing it all together now, I can more clearly see the tonal arc of the films and I’ve actually come to appreciate the first two more.
So, yeah. I’m excited to see this on Friday. There will be more Harry Potter goodness in the coming week here on the site.
Two links to mention:
Don’t forget to sign up for the Theater Hopper map. Don’t worry, we’re not collecting information to spam you with. All it does is plot your position based on your zip code. You don’t have to give your real name and you don’t have to give your address. But feel free to add a fun message or picture.
I stole the idea from DJ over at Yirmumah! and Joe from Joe Love Crappy Movies took off with his own version. I gotta stay competitive with these guys! If you used our map to judge the readership, you’d be led to believe there are only 80 of you who come back every Monday, Wednesday and Friday. I know for a fact things are a little more robust than that. Raise your voice! Let me know you’re out there!
Secondly, Threadless is having a $10 on a large variety of their designs. You might remember that I designed a shirt for sale there called "Ask Me How I Became A Pirate." It’s out of stock at the moment – or at least at the time I wrote this message. But there are several other designs to choose from and ten bucks is a steal for some of these original tees.
If you plan on buying any, just be sure to use this link when you do:
http://www.threadless.com/?streetteam=Tom%20Brazelton
I get referral points for everyone one of you I send over there who buys a shirt. I wouldn’t mind stocking up on a few items myself this time around!
Talk to you all soon!
If you’ve been following me at all on Twitter or Facebook the last couple of days, you’ll know that I was in an accident that required a trip to the emergency room and 11 stitches on the top of my left hand. My right hand is my drawing hand and I can still hold a pencil. But there will be no new comic today because I don’t want to push my luck. I want to take this time to heal.
Instead of a comic, I decided to tell the story of how I nearly lost a thumb. Please excuse any spelling errors you might come across. Since I’m down one hand, it’s taking me twice as long to write this blog post.
Since I’ve been off work, the need for little projects to keep me busy is at an all-time high. A few months ago, I bought a book about woodworking and building simple shelves. In it, there was a project detailing how one might build custom shelves for your garage or storage room. I thought it was the perfect opportunity to give it a try.
Basically, the shelves were two sets of 2 x 4s facing each other with grooves cut into them. Inside the grooves, you insert a sheet of plywood cut to fit and use that as the shelf.
To cut the grooves into the 2 x 4s required the purchase of a hand-held router, which I did on Tuesday. Since there wasn’t room in my car, I didn’t buy the materials needed to build the shelves. I decided I would go back the next day to get them.
Before leaving on Wednesday to buy the materials, I decided to give the router a spin (so to speak) so I had an idea of how it worked before I started the project in full.
I took the tool out of the box and read the directions. I inserted the 3/4″ bit required for the grooves and plugged in the tool. I took a scrap 2 x 4 from another project and set it on a pair of saw horses to use as my test material.
Here is where I made two key mistakes. First, I didn’t secure the scrap material to the saw horses. I didn’t lock it down. It was loose. Second, I didn’t insert the 3/4″ bit far enough into the router.
Because the bit was not inserted far enough into the router, it wasn’t cutting the wood. The stem of the bit was rubbing up against the wood causing resistance.
I took my left hand off the router and placed it on the scrap 2 x 4. I pulled the router away from the wood with my right hand at the same time I was releasing the trigger to stop the bit from spinning. As the bit nearly cleared the wood, it caught the edge of it. *BIP-BIP-BIP!* It skipped down the length of the board pulling my right arm with it.
In the blink of an eye, the router went over the top of my left hand.
At first I thought I had nicked myself, it happened so fast. I put the tool down and looked over at my left hand. Blood. Oh, wait. Dripping blood. Oh, my! That’s a lot of blood!
I clamped my right hand over my left and ran into the house. My first thought was to rinse out the cut. I put my hand in the sink and turned on the water. I looked down at my hand as the water ran over it. Blood gushed out of it like a bathtub spilling over. I remember shrieking “OH, GOD!!” and immediately grabbing a dishrag to wrap up my hand.
What I thought was a simple cut was quite clearly a deep wound. The picture of my bandaged hand above does not communicate the severity of my injury. Instead, look at this illustration:
The wound was about 5 to 6″ long, about 1.5″ wide, very jagged and very deep. It scared me enough to call 911.
Within seconds I was on the phone with dispatch. They asked me to describe the wound, if it was deep, how much blood I lost and instructed me to put pressure on the wound. He put me on hold as he notified emergency responders.
Meanwhile, Truman, oblivious to the trauma I had caused myself, goes to the back door. *TAP, TAP* He wants to be let out. In my mind I’m thinking “How am I going to get him back into the house?” I tell him “No, Truman.”
*TAP, TAP* Insistently, he scratches at the back door again. “I can’t deal with this,” I think and let him out anyway.
Dispatch came back on and immediately I thought that I should call Cami. I expressed as much to the dispatch operator, but he insisted that he stay on the line with me until help arrived because he didn’t know how much blood I had lost.
In the distance, I could hear ambulance sirens. “I can hear them,” I said. “They’re close.” I went to the front door to check.
As I approached the door, there was a pounding behind me. *BAM! BAM! BAM!* “POLICE!” A police officer entered the house through our garage. He was on patrol in the neighborhood when he got the call. It had been about a minute since I first called 911.
He started asking me a dozen questions. Mostly he wanted me to gather up my ID, my keys and my phone. He wanted to know what he could do to help me lock up the house.
At this point, I was kind of in denial. “Lock up the house,” I thought. “I’m not going anywhere!”
But I obliged the officer as he helped bring Truman back into the house and led him into his crate. By the time I retrieved my wallet, keys and phone, the ambulance was outside. I walked into the driveway to meet them.
They had me climb into the back of the ambulance to take a look. They removed the blood-soaked rag around my hand. Again, the gaping wound stared back at me. The put a gauze pad on top of it, wrapped up my hand and we were off to the hospital.
At this point I was glad to be in the hands of professionals, but I was still kind of in denial over the severity of my injury. I thought I would sit on one of the little benches in the back on our way to the hospital. I was fine! No need to strap me to a gurney!
They strapped me to a gurney.
Good thing, too. Because as they started driving, I became very light-headed. I started sweating and felt like I was going to throw up. They put me on oxygen and took my blood pressure repeatedly. My hands went numb. I was getting very sleepy. I was probably *this* close to passing out.
Fortunately, before all of this drama took place, I managed to call Cami at work to let her know I was on my way to the hospital. She was in a meeting, so I left her a message. By the time we arrived in the ER, she had returned my call and was on her way.
As I waited, they unwrapped my hand to take a look. It was at this point that I really started to fear that I had done permanent damage to myself. As we waited for the attending physician to come by with her opinion, they kept my hand sterile by submerging it into a pan of soapy water. It felt like someone lit my hand on fire.
Eventually the attending physician came by to offer her diagnosis. She asked me to move my fingers. She asked me to bring my thumb closer to my palm. Cheerfully, she said that the wound was superficial, that I hadn’t done any permanent damage to myself, but that I would probably need stitches. Now all I had to do was wait for someone to come in and stitch me up.
By this time, Cami was in the ER room with me and there was nothing I could do but sit there and look stupid. I felt so embarrassed. I had become another at-home accident statistic. I felt bad for dragging Cami out of work, for wasting her time, for being stuck with such an idiot husband. But at the same time, I was so glad she was there to see me through it. I would have been very scared without her.
Here’s my thing: I hate needles. I can’t stress that enough. I *HATE* needles. I freak out whenever I have to get blood drawn. I’m not even very good about getting a flu shot. So the idea of someone sticking needles in my hand to numb it up, then stabbing my hand repeatedly to run stitches through it filled me with great anxiety.
I’ve managed to live 31 years without ever having a trip to the ER to get stitches, mend a broken arm or anything of the kind. You can imagine that all of this was a little overwhelming for me.
Finally a resident came in to stitch me up. He numbed my hand and went to work snipping away some of the jagged pieces of flesh that would have prevented the stitches from being flush. I refused to look as he sewed up my hand, but I could feel him tugging at my arm. I could hear the sound of the stitch as it was being pulled though my hand, like someone lacing a shoe. It took everything I had not to jerk my arm away and run home in horror.
As the resident worked, Cami looked on. She’s much better about this kind of thing than I am. She’ll channel surf past Discovery Heath and watch someone having kneecap survey no problem. Meanwhile, I have to leave the house, drive to the woods and cry.
Later, Cami told me that my hand “looked like hamburger,” that the wound bled considerably and that the resident used “a lot of gauze” to soak it all up. Thanks, honey.
Half-way through the procedure, the resident asked me if I’d like to take a look. I told him if there was more work to be done, I didn’t want to see it. For me, it’s all psychological. I can’t know what you’re doing. I prefer to think it’s not even my hand that you’re working on.
As the resident continued to work, nurses and doctors came in and out to observe. “That looks really good,” they said. “Great job!” A man in a white overcoat joked “Not bad for his first stitch job, huh, sir?”
“Doooon’t… do that to me,” I said, desperately trying to cling to my sense of humor.
When it was all said and done, they put 11 stitches in my hand. Again, the resident asked me to look at his work and I sensed a need for approval. “It looks very straight,” I said. And it did, which was amazing considering how jagged the wound was.
The resident patted my leg, said “Take care” and exited the room. I told him “Thank you! I appreciate it! as he walked out, but was left with the impression that he was annoyed that I did not give him more praise for his effort. I felt bad.
Cami and I left the hospital to pick up Henry from day care. He was very good natured about the whole thing and, of course, asked lots of questions. We explained to him that Daddy had an accident and took a ride in an ambulance. “Wee-ooo-wee-ooo,” he questioned, as he mimicked the sound of ambulance sirens.
“Do you feel better, Daddy” he asked. “I feel better,” I said. “You feel better and the owie goes away from you,” he said. This kid gets it.
We cleaned the blood out off the kitchen floor and out of the kitchen sink. But where I cut my hand in the garage still looks like a murder scene. There was a lot more blood in there than I thought there was. Drops all over the floor. A light splatter draped across my work bench – enough blood to drip and pool below.
I pretty much spent the rest of Wednesday night and all day Thursday with my hand on ice and elevated above my head. I didn’t do much of anything else. I ended up watching The Boondock Saints and part of Man On Fire before I fell asleep. I spent the rest of my time feeling the pulse of my heartbeat in the palm of my hand.
I changed the dressing on my hand for the first time last night. I almost barfed. I get my stitches out next week. I’m not looking forward to it.
When it’s all said and done, it could have been much worse. I could have mangled my thumb. I could have twisted up the tendons in my hand like spaghetti noodles around a fork. I could have ended up with a dead hand.
People suffer worse injuries all the time and some don’t see it through the other side. But like I said before, this was all a first for me, so it felt like a big deal.
2009 has been a tough year so far. I’ve watch friends lose jobs, go through divorce, suffer miscarriages and some lose their lives. I lost my job and nearly lost my hand. Sometimes I wonder how much bad stuff has to happen before something good comes along.
But I realize that I have a lot of good in my life that I experience every day. I have a wonderful family, good friends and people who care about me. The hand thing is a minor setback, but this too shall pass. And you’d better believe that no matter how bad you think you have it, someone always has it much, much worse.
If nothing else, this accident could be the universe telling me to slow down a little and appreciate what I have more – something I think all of us are guilty of from time to time.
Meanwhile, the best thing for me now is to take a little time, rest and recover. I want to say thanks to the people that have shown support and hopefully I will be back up to speed making comics again soon!
Best wishes and take care!
GUEST STRIP – BRANDON J. CARR
December 14th, 2009 | by Tom- Comics »
- Comics »
- Guest Strip
(16 votes, average: 7.56 out of 10)
When I started this who guest strip bru-ha-ha, Brandon J. Carr (formerly of The Kenmore and Weird Adventures of Unemployment) told me that inspiration had struck and he had an idea for a three-comic arc that parodied Avatar. He asked if that was okay. How could I say no? I have a diapers to change! A baby to burp! I haven’t slept in…! -SNNNNRRRZZKKKK! – Huh? What?! I’m awake!!
Yeah, man. Three comics. Sounds great.
So, anyway, buckle up, guys. Brandon is bringing the funny three times this week and it’s going to be infused with Avatar-goodness. Big thanks to Brandon for majorly stepping up to the plate. I don’t know about you, but I’m really excited to see what he comes up with!
I’ll probably talk more about Avatar later in the week. But for right now… HOLY LEGS!
Despite having a baby a little more than a week and a half ago, Cami and I actually were able to see a movie on Saturday. My in-laws watched Pearl for the afternoon as we took Henry see The Princess and The Frog.
We’ve been on quite the roll lately since we took Henry to his first movie – The Polar Express – about a month ago. At this point, we might end up seeing Alvin and The Chipmunks: The Squeakquel!
I’m just kidding. That will NEVER happen. We’re trying to cultivate a child with taste, people!
We probably started talking up The Princess and The Frog to Henry about two months ago. Cami had it in her mind that this should be Henry’s first movie because A.) It’s Disney and B.) It was their return to hand-drawn animation for the first time since… man, I can’t remember their last hand-drawn movie? Was it Home on the Range?
Anyway, it was hard to argue with her.
Our only problem is that we thought the movie was coming out much sooner than it actually was. When we realized it was coming out the weekend after the date we scheduled for Cami’s C-section, we improvised and went with The Polar Express, instead.
Things worked out fine on that front. Henry enjoyed The Polar Express a great deal and we felt like super parents. But as the release date for The Princess and The Frog drew closer, Henry would see commercials for it on TV and say “We’re going to go see that!”
How could we NOT take him now?
Long story short, Pearl arrived a week early, Cami was feeling better and we had willing baby sitters. So we decided to take Henry to the movie.
Of course, 30 minutes before we were about to load up the car and take him to the theater, Henry asked his grandma “Is it going to be dark in the theater?” To which she naturally replied, “Yes” and, at this point, Henry decided he didn’t want to see the movie anymore. After weeks of anticipation and him talking about the movie, we basically had to cajole him into seeing the film before we tossed him in his car seat and say “YOU’RE GOING!”
Things were fine once we got to the theater. Even though he got a little bit antsy near the end of the movie, he actually does a pretty good job sitting still and paying attention for a certain length of time. The fact that the theater was dark didn’t even enter his mind once we were seated.
As for the movie itself, the whole family loved it. Cami loved the songs penned by Randy Newman and gave high praise to Tiana – Disney’s first African American Princess. “She has the best singing voice of any of the princesses,” she said. “And she’s the best-looking!”
Well, okay. It’s a cartoon, dear. But I see what you’re saying.
Henry and I both loved Ray the lightning bug. Based off the trailers, I thought Ray looked like a crude stereotype of a redneck, or something. But the character is much, much more.
I also really enjoyed the villain, Dr. Facilier – who I thought had the most style and the best musical number in the movie. I’m sorry – but Disney villains are infinitely more interesting to me than the protagonists.
I don’t know if anyone here is on the fence about The Princess and The Frog or not, but I strongly encourage you to check it out. After years of making cookie-cutter animated films that felt like they were designed to sell toys first and tell a story second, Disney is in grand form with this one. To me, the whole film just felt right. It didn’t hit one sour note.
Maybe I’m in a haze just because I’m glad to see Disney do what it does best with the hand-drawn stuff. Maybe I’m overlooking something. But if I am, I kind of don’t care. Bottom line, they could have hit us with another Atlantis: The Lost Empire or Treasure Planet. But, instead, they did the right thing and gave us a movie with both heart and soul.
Did anyone else see The Princess and The Frog this weekend? If so, what did you think? Who was your favorite character? What was your favorite song? Are any of you thinking about passing on this film? If so, why?
Leave your comments below!
Well, here it is. Friday’s exceptionally late comic. Again, I feel terrible about the delay and I appreciate everyone’s patience and understanding. If you could help spread the word about the new comic being online, I’d greatly appreciate it.
As you know from my last post, things have been stressful the last week. But I think things are leveling off. Pearl turned one month old a few days ago and I keep telling myself that it will only be a matter of time before she starts sleeping through the night.
I remember that Henry started sleeping through the night when he was 8 weeks old. At the time, it felt like an eternity. This time, I know what I’m in for a little bit more.
Of course, every child is different. So, who knows? Pearl might be completely upside-down on her days and nights! Let’s hope not, though.
Nothing movie related to talk about in this blog post. But I want to remind everyone to check out the last live recording of The Triple Feature this Monday, January 11 at 9:00 PM CST. It will be our Best of ’09 show and also our last show ever. It would be a real treat if as many of you as possible could call in live during the show and help send us off in style. It’s been a fun ride these last 3 years and we want to go out with a bang.
In the meantime, thanks again for your patience and enjoy the rest of your weekend. A new comic will be here Monday morning! I promise!