First things first, I have to apologize for the lateness of this comic.

I started working on it Sunday night and was distracted by world events. I’m sure you know of which I speak. I tried picking up the pencil again on Monday night and was wrestling with the damn thing for so long, finishing it became impossible.

I’ll say this – trying to figure out how to draw someone about to swing a hammer with two fists is not something my brain is wired for. It’s like drawing feet for me, or something.

Of course I figured out entirely too late that looking at reference photos of baseball players would have been perfect. But I managed to finish the comic Tuesday night. And here we are! I’m actually kind of pleased with how it turned out. The art, I mean. I don’t know exactly what’s going on with the script. Just another comic where I mess around with wordplay for no real reason.

Not to belabor the point, but it’s not acceptable for me to be late with these comics and it makes me feel sick that it went down this way. I’m doing one comic a week. ONE! I used to do three comics a week, sometimes five – many of them much funnier than this one.

Sure, my life is much different now than it was 8.5 years ago when I started this thing. I didn’t have kids. I was still in my 20’s. I could stay up until 2:00 in the morning and bounce back, ready for work the next day on 4 hours of sleep. Not anymore, man. That’s for sure.

But still, there’s no reason that I can’t use the week prior to a comic to develop an idea, sketch it out in stages and finish at a more leisurely pace. If anything, the wider berth between comics should result in IMPROVED quality.

Basically it comes down to poor time management. I need to do a better job of looking forward and setting aside time to draw during the week so I don’t get caught in a situation where I’m scrambling to put something together 2 hours before it’s “due.” That’s a bad habit I developed from back in the days when I was producing 3 or 5 comics a week. Running and gunning it because I had to, but also because I could.

I wish I could relate to you the low-level of depression I experienced Monday night when I knew I wasn’t going to be able to finish the comic. I’ve been doing this for so long, blowing deadlines is more than just letting you guys down. I let myself down and it sucks. Producing this stuff should have gotten easier over time, not harder.

I think what makes it particularly pathetic is that on Monday, I renewed the TheaterHopper.com domain name for another 2 years. I posted as much on Facebook. Casually, in fact. I posted that otherwise meaningless bit of information because I literally had nothing else to talk about.

32 people “liked” that update. 3 people commented their enthusiasm. It made me feel good, but undeserving.

I’ll confess something to you. I don’t know how long I can continue to do Theater Hopper. Originally I thought 5 years would be a nice, round number. Then I thought I would stop after I had kids. By August of next year, I will have been doing this for almost 10 years. Maybe that would be a good time to stop?

If I had my druthers, I’d do Theater Hopper every day. I have fun doing it. But life gets in the way more than it used to and I still feel chained down by “rules” I established for myself when I first started this thing nearly a decade ago.

Yeah, the comic moves and breathes and changes along with my ability and circumstances. But it doesn’t mean I still don’t get bummed out when I can live up to the promises I’ve made to myself and to you. I look at these failings (which have been happening more and more lately) and I wonder if I deserve to be in the game.

But at the same time, I think to myself “If I can just hang on a little longer. The kids will be older, maybe a little more independent and there will be more time for these things.” I don’t know if that’s wishful thinking or not.

Part of me wonders if Theater Hopper is the right venue for me to express myself anymore. I don’t see very many movies these days. Commenting on them makes me feel inauthentic. For years I’ve toyed with the idea of doing a journal comic. I think it would be freeing to write comics about my life, unencumbered by scheduled updates. But my Midwestern upbringing makes me feel like a journal comic would be narcissistic and shallow.

I’ll tell you this much… not only did I renew Theater Hopper’s domain on Monday, but I renewed the domain of the journal comic I’ve been dreaming about for the last few years. I don’t know if I’ll ever do anything with it. I guess it’s just nice to know I have it. Like insurance, or something.

I’m sorry about this. I don’t know what I’m doing here. I feel like I’m dumping my problems in your lap. But if feels good to write this, to get it off of my mind. Writing it down will go a long way to help me from continuing to beat myself up about it. I guess it doesn’t leave a lot of room to talk about Thor, but I’m not too upset about it. Are you?

Thanks for hearing me out. I’ll try to do better going forward. Thanks for sticking with me.