I realize that the punchline of today’s comic is kind of specific. So if you don’t know what I’m referencing, let me introduce to Rage Guy.
What is learned cannot be unlearned.
When Fast and Furious came out in 2009, I thought it was pretty lazy marketing to simply strip the word “The” from the original title and try to convince audiences, “Hey! Brand new movie!” I didn’t really think they could get less imaginative than that.
Boy, was I wrong.
Fast Five? Seriously?
I guess at this point they’re not even attempting to attract anyone that isn’t already familiar with the franchise. Fair enough. If you weren’t already a fan of the first four movies, there’s nothing about the new one that would probably attract you to it.
I’m just trying to establish context. Free from any other references, if I saw a movie called Fast Five on the marquee, I’m not sure I would be able to reconcile what that title has to do with anything from the movie I paid good money to see.
I feel it’s not beyond reason to presume that they could end up calling the next movie “Fix” or – perhaps more likely – something equally stupid like “F-Six” or “FF6.”
I probably shouldn’t be so hard on these films. As a fan of action movies from the 80’s, the Fast and Furious films are really about as close as we get to that these days.
Keep making cars explode randomly, Vin Diesel! And Godspeed!
Any thoughts about Fast Five, Vin Diesel or internet memes? Leave your comments below!
This one they're calling Fast Five.
At this rate, the next one will be called "Fix" and the one after that will be called....
FFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFF
Whoa. First things first, there was an ad for some service technician that popped up and started talking to me LOUDLY. (just an FYI)
I’m just impressed that they’re still accepting Tokyo Drift as number 3. You’d think they’d just ignore it altogether.
The last one wasn’t really all that awful. It’s a movie to turn your brain off for. I did, and I enjoyed it just enough.
I was really hoping that with this one they’d go nuts with the title and try for, “3 Fast, 2 Furious” or some sort of combination just to add some mixture, but, I guess they figured their largest demographic wouldn’t get it. 😛
PS. It’s Bryant Heating and Cooling. Thems the a-holes with the crappy ad that comes up after your comment loads too. Bottom-left of the screen.
Thanks, bman. I’ve yet to stumble across the ad. But now that I have a name, it’ll make it easier to target across my networks.
This thing is getting really annoying. It even popped up a second time when I began replying to this thread.
http://oi52.tinypic.com/oar71f.jpg
I’m trying to locate it, but I can’t find the ad network it’s on!
I haven’t run into it personally. But I dont’ want it on the site any more than you do!
down here in australia, they’ve just called it “Fast & Furious 5”
To be honest, i’m surprised they didn’t call it “Faster & Furiouser”
I think the next should be called F’n Enough!
I’m gonna go out on a limb and say most people are hoping there won’t be a “next one”. Because if there is, there will be someone who will drag them to it, regardless of the kicking and the screaming. I see a lot of movies that way. “Come on, don’t be a killjoy!” Note to self: grow backbone.
Great recreation of Rage Guy. If that were on a shirt I’d wear it to all the bad movies I get dragged to.
I’d love to see Tom be Forever Alone because Cami won’t go see a movie with him, though I guess that would be pushing the meme thing.
I saw the preview and I think a lot of people are going to be interested in watching Vin Diesel & Dwayne “The Rock” Johnson go head-to-head. It’ll be a meathead-on-meathead bonanza!
If I saw this movie at all, it would be to see The Rock in action. He was on the cusp of being the next great action star and then he went the safe and boring route with the kid flicks.
Diesel is guilty of the same thing.
If Universal were smart, they would have positioned these two against each other almost 10 years ago when Diesel was coming off xXx and The Rock was coming off The Rundown.
You know, this franchise is cash money?
http://boxofficemojo.com/franchises/chart/?id=fastandthefurious.htm
I’m just glad Justin Lin has made it. Hopefully with the money he has from all this films he can start a production company and help out more Asian American actors.
Oh, totally! And not just domestically, but around the world. Action movies always perform better overseas.
Bah, I gave up on these movies before they even came out. Paul Walker couldn’t act his way out of a milk carton with all the props in the world at his disposal.
How DARE you besmirch the star of Into the Blue!
Am I really the first person to submit this to Reddit? I guess so! Hell, that’s where *I* learned about the rage faces!
In that case, I thank you!
Now let’s see if the Redditors rip it to shreds… 😉
I was sure you were gonna make some comments about “The Rock” coming into the franquise… I personally don’t have anything against him, it just boders me the SO obviously desperate atempt to atract more people just by including him…
a bit late in my opinion…
I’m waiting for them to come out with a senior sequel and have them racing in wheelchairs and walkers. Call it Slow & Stubborn.
“FIX” would be good for the nineth film since “IX” is the Roman numeral for nine.
I was thinking the exact same thing. And if we’re lucky, this franchise will get to that many installments! Yes, I said lucky, I happen to like these movies. Not everything needs to have Oscar-caliber writing, directing or acting… I like movies with good ol’ action, sue me!
Nothing wrong with a straight up action movie from time to time. You’re talking to, like, the ONLY guy that liked Crank 2.
I just think they could be a little more clever with the title, that’s all. 😉
Sure, but is there anything LESS original for a movie title than simply slapping a number at the end? I mean, come on… How is Crank 2 any more of an original title than Fast Five?
Except they didn’t call it Crank 2. The called it Crank: High Voltage.
I see your point, though. Slapping a number on it would have been *less* original. Frankly, I take greater offense with the fourth movie – removing “The” from “The Fast and The Furious” and trying to sell it like it was something new and different.
@Liam — Years ago I referred to “Deep Space Nine” as Deep SIX because of the IX Roman numeral. Great minds, same gutter, and all that.
I just got it- they’re SO fast, that they just don’t have time for the full title- all they can get out is “Fast Five!” And then they’ve driven off, never to be seen again.
Have you seen the interview with the writer of the franchise? He’s five years old. At The Onion, of course.. http://tinyurl.com/3gb78vu
Here in the UK, it’s also just Fast and Furious 5. None of this “Fast Five” silliness. Maybe it’s another “It’s a new movie guys!” strategy? Though movies with numbers in tend to confuse people. I figure there’ll be a few people who’ll think they have missed three previous movies when going to watch “I Am Number Four”.
I’m starting to think that Universal is trying to cater to American’s notoriously short attention sp… Oh, look! Some tinsel!
If I’m gonna watch this one, it’ll just be to see Rocky German Suplex Vin Diesel through a glass window and through a table. That’s about all this flick has going for it IMO.
Universal is definitely hyped on these movies though. They have included an entire section on the tram tour featuring a couple of the cars with some fire stunts.