For the record, neither one of my grandmothers has an opinion about Barack Obama as President. They’re both dead.
I don’t mean to disparage their memory by being so blunt about it. But I wanted to clarify that I don’t actually have a racist grandmother. Sometimes the comic weaves in and out of autobiographical elements and this is one of those cases where it’s just a joke.
Incidentally, if either of them were alive, I don’t think they would upset about an African American President.
I’m kind of getting into a bad habit where I’m referencing videos in the blog post to help sell the jokes in the comic. But for your own edification, you need to see the red band trailer for the Paul Bettany angels-gone-rogue action film Legion.
WARNING: The language is a little salty and not safe for work.
Watching this trailer reminds me of cheesy action movies from the 80s. I don’t know if it’s the remote desert diner location, but I was immediately reminded of Maximum Overdrive when I first saw this. Also, the music is vaguely reminiscent of the first Terminator to me.
Am I the only one seeing this?
Maybe it’s the abundance of guns. Dennis Quaid’s character actually calls Paul Bettany’s character “Rambo” at one point. But, yeah… The end of the world? God’s army of angels? What does this movie need?… I know! GUNS AND EXPLOSIONS!!
Even though the stringy albino frame of Paul Bettany would be the last one I would run to for protection in the Apocalypse, I believe his detached British charm and dry delivery are the only things lending credibility to this film. It’s almost if he’s communicating “Look, I know this movie is crap, but I’m going to take it seriously.” You have to respect his conviction. Never in my life did I think I would write “Paul Bettany” and “action star” anywhere in the same paragraph.
What do you guys think of Legion? Cheesy fun or bloated action cliches with a Biblical theme? Is Paul Bettany credible as an action star? Also, does anyone have a racist grandmother they want to talk about?
KIDDING! JUST KIDDING ON THAT LAST ONE!
But seriously, leave your comments about Legion below.
Which one?
The one with the crazy grandma in the diner!
Oh, THAT'S not scary!
You're telling me a foul-mouthed grandma climbing the walls and biting people in the neck doesn't terrify you?
Dude, if you want to see a terrifying old lady...
...come over to my house and ask my grandma what she thinks about having and African American President!
I watched the trailer you linked to when you mentioned the music, thinking they’d done it again. When UNIVERSAL SOLDIER was being promoted back in 1992, they actually used music cues from THE TERMINATOR on the soundtrack; part of me wondered if they’d done it again…
(You can even hear bits of the score in the first half of the trailer up on IMDB at http://www.imdb.com/video/screenplay/vi3638559001/)
As for LEGION, after I heard the following piece of music to the obvious tune, I had problems taking it seriously:
Angels we have heard on high,
Screaming “Now it’s time to die!”
After that, it was all downhill…
This movie’s gonna be bad. The acting looks cheesy, the dialog is cliche, and the concept is over done. My friends, of course, will love it. But that’s only because they love any movie with cool effects and explosions. I prefer some plot with my action.
Every once in a while Paul Bettany does these obviously bad movies (Wimbleton, anyone?); I guess he must needs a break from his more high-brow performances every once in a while. But he does look incredibly sexy in the trailer, so I think I’m going to have to see the movie anyway!
I am actually interested in seeing this one because I am a sucker for the God smites man genre.
Saw Imaginarium of Dr Parnassus last night. It was very good. Gilliam’s choice to use Johnny Depp, Colin Farrell & Jude Law was seamless & Tom Waits as the devil was brilliant. In the end, it was a bit hard to watch knowing it was Heath Ledger’s last performance .
If there was a God, He was all powerful and he wanted to kill the world, why send a whole truckload of angels with guns? And how can 1 fallen angel (note he cut off his wings) and a bunch of Humans (who can be taken over at will) win this fight? Why is it that people who make movies about religion always seem to limit the power of the Supreme Being the protagonists are fighting against?
If this were even slightly realistic, this would be the movie:
Opening credits…
Darkness covers the Earth, pregnant woman covers her stomach with her hands. She opens her mouth to scream…
The Earth dies as God extinguishes all life.
Roll closing credits…
I’m with you Edrondol. If God wanted to extinguish all life on Earth, I fail to see the logic in sending an army of angels to do battle in some kind of ground war.
That is, unless God is as petty and vindictive as I’ve imagined and just wants some cheap entertainment.
Angels with guns? It looks terrible, yet for some strange reason I’m interested to see it.
It looks pretty ridiculous and I’ll skip it, maybe watch it for a lark when it comes out on Showtime or whatever. Something that bothers me about it is that they’re clearly using the same effects for the evil angels as I Am Legend used for the infected humans. It wasn’t scary then and won’t be again.
Alexander,
You’re talking about the gaunt look and the unhinged jaw? Yeah, I agree with you. It’s looks so fake. Like taking a 100 x 100 image and stretching it to 150 x 400. The digital distortion is *very* clear.
j00ky,
Thanks for the kudos! Glad you liked the comic!
I think Legion itself looks terrible however I did find the joke in this comic quite funny and it is one of my favourites. Not sure what that says about me as a person but whatever 🙂
@ Tom and Edrondol
I guess if you believe in the Old Testament God then it makes sense. But that guy has tried everything to cleanse the world – Floods, locusts, plagues, etc. – the only thing left is angels.
I’ve got some passes to the flick so I’ll be there opening night.
I’m just grateful that they threw some bucks in to use some old school special effects and just didn’t go with the spliced in CGI all the way.
My ex-step-grandmother is racist…..stupid woman.
But, um, funny comic. I haven’t watched any of the trailers because of my dial up, but even so. I wanna see the movie because of the plot and lead actor.
Oh good, I wasn’t the only one getting a Maximum Overdrive feeling.
As fun as the trailer is, I’m going to pass on it. It just seems a bit *too* cheesy and stupid to spend mondey on. I’ll probably just catch it on a movie channel someday.
Yeah, I agree that if the movie was meant to have any logic, God will just fart and everything will end- He does’t need to send his legion to kill us… but… since (for me) movies are done to be unrealistic, then I’m definitely on to watch it!
I like Dennis Quaid movies (well, all of them but Vantage Point… ugh!!!) so I surely will go to the theater and watch big explosions and unrealistic angel soldiers!
There’s all these “God-smites-the-earth” movies, but none of them make any sense. The plot is beyond ridiculous in this one. The villain is God, and the woman is pregnant with the Christ child? One, Christ isn’t supposed to come back that way. Two, God and Christ are one and the same. The only thing that makes any sense is that Micheal, in Jewish tradition, was so notorious for interceding for the Jews that some even prayed to him instead of God, which, in turn, made God smite them. So it stands to reason that he would come to earth to save us, I guess.
If they want a good plot for an apocalyptic movie, just use the book of Revelation. There’s some insane stuff in there: plagues, famine, wars, demons coming out of holes in the earth, the heavens tearing open, blood as high as a horse’s bridle. Or why not a movie about Ragnarok? Just remove the Christian aspect altogether and go pagan. Ragnarok is just as insane. A giant wolf whose jaw is so massive, he swallows the sun? Yeah, I’d pay to see that.
Ever since i saw the first trailer for Legion I wanted to see it. Not because of it looks good, or scary… i want to see it because i couldn’t stopped laughing at it. It all seems to rediculous to actually take seriously, and the acting looks HORRIBLE, haha.
I’m probably going to catch it on friday or saturday with some friends. Laugh at it a little, and forget about it seconds after the credits roll.
I have no idea why Sony is behind this movie. I haven’t herd one person actually interested in it… 😛
But thats just me. 😀
Who cares about the story line. It looks like it has lots of great dark violent action scenes where all sorts of stuff gets killed and blown up. Sure it isn’t Oscar material, but it is entertaining and sometimes that is the point of a movie.
I don’t think I’m getting hung up on the story line. I just think the whole thing looks completely cheesy and the story line is the easiest thing to point to.
But yeah, everything from the effects to the performances in the clips I’ve seen look cringe-worthy to me. I don’t care if they blow up a fireworks factory, no amount of controlled demolition is going to save this thing.
The old lady should of been Betty White. When I first saw trailers I though “Hm could be interesting.” After seeing the redband trailer I kinda want to see it now. It doesn’t look like a “good” movie but look like it could be fun. (Keep in mind my Dad and I will hang out watching really bad movies together.) I’m not expecting much, but there are worse ways to blow an afternoon and 8 bucks.
Well, it could make some sense. I mean…why would God have a legion of angels if he could just do everything himself in an instant without any effort? It did take him “7 days” or whatever to create the world. So logically, the conclusion is that he isn’t actually omnipotent, but has made an effort to seem that way. Thus he may need to do something like send a bunch of angels to do something instead of just waving his hand and getting it done.
Still, emphasis on the “could”.
Makes me think of both Prophecy and Demon Knight, both cheesy and both great.