I’m not exactly sure what point I’m trying to make with today’s comic. Certainly The Last Kiss has a lot more to contend with than Zach Braff’s eco-friendly policies.

I don’t know what it was about that damn car that set me off. But it morphed into a symbol – a metaphor for everyone who self-aggrandizes their actions without ever earning the right to do so. I don’t mean to make this a rant about the benefits of hybrid technology. But since Garden State, Braff’s persona has become neatly entwined with that of "Mr. Sensitive Everyman" and I just started to look at that Prius and wished he was driving a Ford.

I had high hopes for The Last Kiss and was left woefully dissapointed. Maybe. I don’t know yet. It’s been three days and I’m still mulling over it in my head. So maybe it got to me. And that’s a good thing. Good movies should stick with you.

Yet, at the same time, it’s difficult to enjoy the movie because all of the characters – and I mean ALL of them – are walking around with their head’s totally screwed on backwards. The men make irrational decisions based loosely on this notion that they’re loosing their freedom – whatever that means. And the woman are all hysterical over-reacting harpies who didn’t find a situation they couldn’t solve through excessive screaming or crying. It’s like the genders have been reduced to their most basic sterotypes and have positioned themselves for our entertainment set to the most heartfelt indie songs imaginable!

If you don’t know the plot of The Last Kiss, at it’s core it seems to be about trust. Zach Braff has a girlfriend who is three months pregnant. The marriage issue is at arm’s length. Then one day, he decides to have an affair with a college-aged raccoon. Oh, my mistake. That’s Rachel Bilson wearing too much eye make-up.

I’m sorry. But if you’re going to cheat on your girlfriend, why would you pick Rachel Bilson? Maybe it’s a personal preference, but every time she showed up on screen, I cringed. Terrible, terrible actress.

At any rate, the motivation behind Braff’s actions are totally 5th grade. "I was scared. I freaked out." The kind of nebulous "I don’t know" answer your little brother gives you when he melts down all your army men with a magnifying glass. Please. These are people who are not meant to be in serious relationships. Even when he confronts himself and questions what he’s doing, he can’t explain it. Maybe this is supposed to be ambiguous in order to demonstrate that people aren’t always rational – and I get that. But there still has to be something that motivates him to cheat on his girlfriend. I mean, at least the wife of Casey Affleck’s character seemed to abuse him and treat him like a total idiot the whole time. At least he had a reason to leave his wife – however tenuous.

I guess I ended up taking the movie personally because I have very little patience for those who treat the emotions of others so carelessly without provication. If Braff’s character was so petrified that his life had become predictable, the least rational solution is to take the most drastic action and trample all over the trust of a good woman. Take up guitar lessons. Hey, here’s a thought! SHARE your concerns with your partner! I understand there are people like this in the world and things are never black and white. But there are about a million steps between fidelity and betrayal that could have been explored before Braff’s character embarked on a totally selfish act.

Seeing The Last Kiss upset me a lot and it puts me in a weird position. I would rather have a reaction than not. I wasn’t bothered that the characters were unlikeable or that the movie didn’t tie up all the loose ends in a bright, happy bow. Frankly, there aren’t ENOUGH movies like this right now. But the execution was half-baked. Give better reasons why the characters are so unpleasant and if you’re going to go the unresolved route, leave Braff on that doorstep wondering with the rest of us if his relationship will ever be repaired. The crack of light the ending leaves open totally undoes the 15 minutes that proceeded it.

If you’re going to put the audience through the wringer, teach me something valuable. The movie doesn’t teach me anything because these are lessons I already know. Trust your partner. Share your feelings. Don’t screw around. It’s basic human decency.