Archive for June 21st, 2006
2 items.
Does everyone know what I’m referring to when I talk about the "Not Gay" seat? It’s that little buffer zone between two paranoid heterosexual men that says "I’m seeing a movie with this guy, but I’m not WITH this guy. We’re not gay!"… Get it? The "Not Gay" seat.
Personally, I think is has to be one of the most ignorant things that some men do and I fail to understand it every time I see it. I’ve even been on the receiving end of the phenomenon, believe it or not!
When I was in college, sometimes a bunch of the guys from our dorm would pile into a car and see whatever blow-em-up action movie was dumbing down America at the time. We’d all buy our tickets and file into the theater. Sitting down next to each other, I was the second to last guy in the aisle. The last guy coming in behind me made a specific point not to sit directly next to me, but one seat away.
"I’m sorry," I said. "Does my breath offend you, or something? Or do you just need your space today?"
The guy was from a small farming community and didn’t have a mean bone in his body. He wasn’t some loner jerk putting on a front, either. But he was cooly pragmatic when revealing his homophobia. "I don’t want people to think we’re gay."
"Dude! You’re in a group of 7 guys! We all just had dinner in the dining hall together and you sat right next to me! What is it about this theater and sitting next to me now that is going to give anyone the impression that we’re gay? Dear Lord! Get over it!"
So I basically shamed him into sitting next to me. And then, in a typical display of college-aged maturity and sensitivity, I would occassionally rub his knee during the movie just to mess with his mind. He was good people, though!
Seriously, though. If you’re a guy and you feel a compulsion to employ the "Not Gay" seat, get over yourself. Because you’re not asserting your heterosexuality. Your displaying your ignorance and weakness to everyone. In fact, you’re probably drawing more attention to yourself by NOT sitting next to the guy you came to the movie with than you would if you sat right next to him.
Honestly, if you’re not going to sit nex to the guy, why allude to the fact that you arrived at the theater together at all. Why don’t you sit in the back row and he can sit in the front row? Then NO ONE will be able to put two and two together! I mean, so long as we’re forging totally skewed social behaviors…
At any rate, the "Not Gay" seat was a comic that I wanted to do for a really long time and the desire to do so was refueled when I saw a couple of high school guys pull this stunt when we went to see Cars a few weeks ago. The problem with doing the comic was that I really didn’t have an ending for it. My commentary was more of a rant than anything humorous. Thank goodness for Brandon J Carr for providing me with the finest twist of a character’s motivation that I could ever hoped for. I’ve been milking the gag for a while now. But really, does it ever get old?
I’ll have some site stuff I’ll want to talk about later in the day, so be sure to visit us again this afternoon for an update!
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It’s been interesting to read some of the e-mails and reactions to today’s comic. I must say, I don’t think there’s anything I’ve ever done that’s generated as much response as the "Not Gay" seat.
I’m not complaining, mind you. The fact that people are talking about it and e-mailing me shows that you care!
A lot of people have written in to tell me that I am only exposing one side of the story. "There is another reason men aren’t sitting next to each other!" they say. Over the course of the day, these arguments have formed into what I like to call "The Double Armrest Theory."
Some people say that if they go to a movie with their buddies and the theater is packed, they have no problem pulling up a chair next to them. But if there is room to spread out, why not take advantage of it? You get two armrests and you’re not squished together.
I can understand this line of logic. I certainly wouldn’t begrudge anyone their personal space. But, like everything in life, it’s all about context. Through m y particular filter – and based partially off the experience I shared earlier – if one was to go to the effort of going to a movie with a friend and then sitting away from that person during said activity… Well, it just seems kind of rude to me. Sort of like going to lunch with somone, but sitting at another table. In the "Not Gay" movie theater example, I think the fact that it’s only one chair that separates people who clearly arrived together only further emphasises the situation. If you REALLY valued your personal space, you’d sit two or three rows back. Or, more resourcefully, not arrived with anyone at all.
Some of the feedback I’ve gotten has been somewhat defensive. I should probably mention that all of it has come from guys. Look, fellas. I didn’t mean to put any of you on the spot. I certainly didn’t mean to suggest that because you appreciate a little elbow room that you might be a homophobe. So if it makes you feel any better, look at my explaination as a critique on manners and not on the paranoia of sexual orientation. Tossing in the whole "Not Gay" moniker was just a clever spin on what seems to be an otherwise everyday occurance in movie theaters around the globe. Maybe if you framed it within the context of Dave Barry’s essay about the Every Other Urinal Rule will the concept come into clearer focus.
Whatever your opinion, it’s clear that I’ve touched a nerve with today’s comic and of that I’m proud. If I can find universal themes within the context of the movie-going experience for you guys to enjoy, then I feel I’ve really done my job. Thanks for your letters and keep sending them in!
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