If I had my own clone, in all likelihood I would be overly critical. What a lousy father I would make.

Today’s comic is short on the lengthy exposition. Partially due to time constraints in my personal life, I set out to see if I could write an economical punchline.

Theater Hopper – Now with 20% less fat!

Personally, I think Tom’s complaint in the last panel holds water. There have been an unusual number of remakes this summer even without counting the quasi-meta Bewitched. Don’t forget the sequels, either. Batman Begins and Star Wars – Episode III: Revenge of the Sith could be considered guilty parties since they’re also peddling the same characters and stories we seen before.

Does anyone in Hollywood remember how to write an original screenplay anymore? The Oscars only give out 5 nominations in this category every year. Not because five is some kind of pre-determined cap. But because there were literally only five movies last year that had an original idea. Concepts that weren’t mined from a book, television show, or previous film.

To be fair, Hollywood has been strip mining other mediums since the invention of celluloid. If it wasn’t Gone With The Wind they were adapting, it was some Broadway musical or Vaudeville act.

But all of these recent remakes are really turning me off. There have been all these reports that box office numbers are down from last year (as has been the trend since about 2001) and analysts can’t figure it out. Even with rising ticket costs, overall sales are down.

I suggest the industry put itself under the microscope and realize that people by-in-large aren’t willing to spend $10 to see The Dukes of Hazzard when it hits big screens in August because they already had enough of the television show 20 years ago!

Of course, true cinemaphiles like myself will go out of plan curiosity. But the Mother with 3 kids and no time to spare? The cash-strapped college student? The casual movie-goers? It’s no wonder they’re saving their money when Hollywood keeps trying to pass off old as new. It’s insulting!

Something else that is insulting is not thanking all of the guest comic artists who helped me out last week like I said I would on Wednesday. So it’s time to amend that mistake right now.

Big thanks to Beefy, Vic Taplin and Ding, The Bros. Porter, Phil Khan, Ali Graham, Dan Beeston, Krishna Sadasivam and Dave Buist for their contributions. Without them, things would have been pretty dire around here while I was moving to my new house and totally without internet access for the week. Be sure to show them your appreciation by visiting their web sites and sending them many hugs and kisses.

Something else I don’t want you guys to forget is that I will be attending Wizard World Chicago on August 4-7 with a bunch of really cool people.

In fact, my table is smack in the middle of an awesome sandwich as I am sitting in between my friends Joe and the Digital Pimp Online crew, Zach Miller from Joe and Monkey and Mitch Clem from Nothing Nice to Say.

What? I like an extra slice of bread on one end of my sandwich!

All of us will be on Artist’s Alley, so you should certainly plan on visiting us if you’re in the area. It will be a good time.

Sidebar: I keep forgetting to post what my table number will be. Gotta remember to put that up in the near future. I want as many of you to visit as possible.

Sidebar #2: I’m planning on taking every t-shirt I have in stock to the convention, so if you’re on the fence about wanting to buy one from the store right now, I would get off the fence and make your purchase if I were you. I can’t promise that when I come back from Chicago that I won’t be totally sold out of merchandise. Just a little head’s up.

Also, if you’re in town for the convention, I’m informally trying to set up a little excursion to one of the local theaters on Friday or Saturday night. It’s been the tradition of Zach, Mitch and myself to see a movie whenever we get together for a convention. I think it would be a real trip if we tried to pull together as many of our fans as possible so we can all go as one giant web comic mass of nerd! So when people see us strolling through the lobby, they’ll ask “Who are they?” And we can respond, “We read web comics!”

Oh, yeah. So nerdy.

Anyway, swing by our booths the day of the con for the details. Like I said, we’ll probably play it by ear.

Everyone have a good weekend!