Archive for June, 2005
30 items.
I tried to draw a picture of Tom Cruise in a business suit holding up a samurai sword based off a still I found from The Last Samurai. It didn’t turn out very well. So if you don’t feel like voting for Theater Hopper at Webcomics List today, I won’t hold it against you. After all, we ∗are∗ at the number one spot right now, so we can rest on our laurels a little bit!
Everyone seems to have an opinion about the romance he seems to have sparked with erstwhile resident of Dawson’s Creek – Katie Holmes. However, it seems that conventional wisdom dictates that the relationship is a sham. A shameless publicity stunt to help cook up interest in both Thespians upcoming June releases – War of the Worlds and Batman Begins, respectively.
Although I am largely a cynic, my greatest weakness is the notion of romantic love. So I find myself playing Devil’s Advocate and imagining reasons why the union of TomKat ∗isn’t∗ manically devised and orchestrated to be intentional ttabloid fodder.
Also, I hate siding with conventional wisdom.
For me, it’s all about motive. I can certainly understand why Holmes would want to hitch her wagon to Cruise. It’s what’s typically known in the industry as “dating up.” She has nothing to lose by being seen with him and it certainly raises her profile in relation to the other actors starring in Batman Begins.
Among the principal cast, you have Christian Bale, Michael Caine, Morgan Freeman, Liam Neeson and Gary Oldman. Maybe co-star Cillian Murphy’s (as The Scarecrow) stock is among the same caliber and audiences certainly aren’t as familiar with Ken Wantanabe (as Ra’s Al Ghul). But ultimately, when people hear there’s a new Batman movie coming out, they aren’t saying “Hey, isn’t that the new Katie Holmes movie?” Now we’re thinking twice…
Now on the other side of the isle, what does Tom Cruise get out of this? Certainly publicity for War of the Worlds isn’t an issue. If Cruise’s name on the marquee doesn’t attract ticket buyers, than certainly Steven Spielberg as director will. It doesn’t hurt that the material they’re covering is a sci-fi classic.
So what possible benefit could there be for an A-list celebrity to date a B-list, or possible C-list celebrity nearly 16 years his junior? Why go on the Oprah Winfery show, act like a loon and have people start questioning your sanity?
Then again, the better question might be “Why would you ever leave Nicole Kidman in the first place?” But I digress.
Accessing the conspiracy theory corner of my brain, I imagine a situation where Tom and Katie met each other at some kind of ritzy Hollywood shin-dig, got to talking and realized how hilarious it would be if the two of them got together.
Realizing that the press and the majority of American’s would view their relationship as a stunt, they would play it up to the hilt. Lavish attention on each other at movie premieres, act bizarre with members of the press when questioned about it and even lob about rumors of marriage to really bring things to a boil.
Then after both War of the Worlda and Batman Begins premier in theaters, they would issue a joint press conference and admit to the world that – yes – their time together WAS a publicity stunt. It was all part of an elaborate scheme to expose the folly of “entertainment journalism” and the country fell for it hook, line and sinker.
But stepping away from that theory, I realize that the public backlash against being hoodwinked to such a degree would be enormous and the careers of both actors would probably be squashed immediately.
As such, I have to resign myself to the possibility that the TomKat relationship is not a stunt. Just another slight of hand by Cruise’s team of image manipulators to further convince the country that their client isn’t gay.
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Today’s Webcomics List incentive sketch is a little bit of an inside joke. It’s a playful jab at the the well-publicized musical tastes of my fellow Dayfree Press brethren Mitch Clem and Jeph Jacques.
And by the way – If you vote for Theater Hopper, view the sketch and take it seriously, then you might want to check your sarcasm dip stick. Because you might be a quart low…
I’ll be back later with another diatribe – this time with my sights set square on the complete sham Madison Avenue wraps up in a glittery bow and calls The MTV Movie Awards.
Easy pickings, I know. But it’s a Friday, so cut me some slack.
Stay tuned.
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Jun10
Taking MTV to task for no longer playing music is a bit like shooting fish in a barrel. Added to that, it’s not very original.
But for better or worse, The MTV Movie Awards was a big-ticket news item in the world of movies this week and it’s what I decided to spoof.
I suppose I could have taken shots at Mr. and Mrs. Smith, coming out today. But would anyone be interested in another commentary about celebrity hook-ups immediately following the shot I fired across the bow of TomKat in Wednesday’s strip?
I am 27 years old. I’ll be 28 in December. The closer I get to 30, the further I fall outside of MTV’s target audience. On the surface, I’m fine with this. Call it “The Circle of Life.” But underneath, there is a little resentment. Growing up as part of the “MTV Generation,” what does it feel like when Mommy and Daddy don’t love you anymore?
I could have cared less about The MTV Movie Awards last night. I didn’t even know they were on until I stumbled past them on the dial. However, there was a time when the MTV Movie Awards were very important to me. I remembered the skits they did and how the whole affair seemed like a grand zinger fired in the face of conventional award shows – and specifically, the stodgy Oscar telecasts. With bright, flashy graphics and set designs that looked like they threatened to tumble into the audience and crush Adam Sandler, it was aimed straight toward the visceral sensibilities of a 14 year-old boy.
And it worked.
Watching it now, I can see through all the glitz (or do they call it “bling” now-a-days?) In fact, the proceedings show its hand so transparently, it’s like playing poker with a moron who will lean over and ask you “Are these four aces any good?”
The show used to be live. That’s out the window. Now it’s taped in advance and all the news outlets report the winners. No reason to watch now!
Even if you did watch, you can tell that all of the winners have been notified in advance that they’re taking home “The Golden Popcorn,” so they’d better be in attendance. You’ll notice that there’s never a shot of the multiple nominees glaring expectantly at the podium when the winner is announced. The people who win couldn’t look more unsurprised. What reason does that give me to be invested in their achievement?
At least in years past the skits between awards were good for a laugh. I will still never get over The Brady Bunch re-enacting the interrogation scene from Basic Instinct. Classic. This year? Nary a titter. My funny bony remains unmoved.
Analyzing the show as if it had any merit is frustrating to an alarming degree. I’ve been hip to this scam for a while, but looking back on how much B.S. I was willing to ignore for the sake of being entertained tells me what a dumb teenager I really was. It’s embarrassing.
Thinking about the kids who are growing up with this kind of low-grade – Nay! – almost narcoleptic marketing makes me think that they won’t have a chance at all when it comes to maturing into independent thinkers.
I guess that explains how someone like Britney Spears could become popular…
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By the by, kids. We have a new advertiser – Wacky Comics. A great web comic you should check out. It has a monkey! What more do you want?!
If there rest of you are interested in advertising with Theater Hopper, we have many spaces available!
Click here to reserve your advertising spot for the future!
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Did Angelina Jolie end up getting that ChapStick she requested? I bet if you vote for Theater Hopper at Webcomics List, you’ll find out!
I’m writing today’s blog a lot earlier than usual. Tonight, I’m penning my missives at 7:00 o’clock in the evening rather than 1:00 in the morning. The reason for this is because in about an hour I will be seeing Ted Leo and The Pharmacists. (Yes, you should envy me.) So if today’s blog is still littered with the same grammatical and spelling errors you’ve come to know and love, then you will know that instead of hiding behind the excuse of exhaustion that I am terrible writer instead.
Not to continue too far down the path of non-related movie topics, but tonight will be the first time I’ve seen Ted Leo perform in 10 years. The first time I saw him was when he was in the band Chisel and opened for Fugazi in 1995.
This is not important to any of you, but it’s a thrill for me and I haven’t been able to stop talking about it. Cami’s ready for me to get out of the house and get the concert over with.
Anyway, movies!
I didn’t see Mr. and Mrs. Smith this weekend, but despite some scathing reviews, it seemed to do quite well – raking in $51 million dollars. Not bad. Usually the controversy of an (alleged) on-set romance keeps people away. Well, the people who aren’t interesting at gawking at the pair to see for themselves if the duo generates the kind of heat the tabloids accuse them of. I predict a big drop-off in the second week.
I have to admit that I’m curious to see what catches fire on screen. And despite stern warning to the contrary, Doug Liman’s films have always been enjoyable romps in my book. I’m eager to see what he conjures up here.
Ironically, I could care less about Jolie – although I admire the niche she’s carved out for herself in Hollywood. If you’re looking for dangerous femme fatales with a screw loose, I think Angelina is the first to call. She summons an intensity that most other actresses tuck away.
I’m particularly interested in seeing what Brad Pitt does in the movie. I don’t know why, but I’ve found him more and more interesting as time goes on. Like most men my age, I thought his turn in Fight Club was astonishing, but I don’t think it was until he made Ocean’s Eleven that I really started to enjoy watching him as a performer.
I think everything before that was Brad trying to be taken as a “serious actor.” Which is commendable, but he simply isn’t another working stiff. After Ocean’s Eleven, you can kind of tell that he decided to let the chips fall where they may and make his living “playing Brad Pitt.” Pretty much every role there on out could have been filled by anyone else, but Brad is in it because they need a movie star. Someone whose best character is themselves.
At least he’s being more honest with his audience
At any rate, I’m off to see Ted Leo, but I have a couple of things to mention.
First, advertisements. I know it’s a slow time of year, but really think about advertising with Theater Hopper. We can still pull in some good traffic for you.
Second, shirts. I have them in my possession, I’m just waiting for the online warehouse I buy my envelopes from to make their delivery. That should be sometime this week, so that means I should be mailing things out today or Tuesday. More detailed information about that here.
Third, if anyone knows how to make phpBB Fetch All work, drop me a line. I’m trying to bring aspects of the THorum out onto the front page of the site.
Fourth, my Audioscrobbler profile. If you have an account, add me to your friends list. We’ve formed a group for people who belong to the THorum. You should consider joining it!
Fifth, Bye, bye!
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Be sure to come back later this morning for a detailed blog discussing Batman Begins – released today! – as well as some original art I’ve placed up for auction on eBay.
No linky for you just yet! But if you were a member of our mailing list, you would have known about it already! Now might be a good time to sign up so you have the inside track on these things!
Sign up using the form to the right of the blog if you’re interested on receiving direction communication from me in the future!
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After drawing today’s comic, I sat and wondered just how effective Donald Trump would be as a super hero? My guess? Not very.
First thing’s first. I want to let everyone know about the art auction I currently have running over at eBay. Click here to see the auction listing. Here’s an image of the artwork.
It is a rendering of Tom cast as Anakin Skywalker as he appeared through all three Star Wars prequels. From his days as a snot-nosed brat on Tatooine, through his pouty teenage-years, into his mulleted twenties and onto the grim visage of evil – Darth Vader.
The art is a one-of-a-kind original, done in pencil and finished in ink on a sheet of 11″ x 14″ Bristol board. The winning bidder will have the art shipped to their residence in a re-enforced cardboard shipping tube to prevent creases, bends or folds.
This artwork was something I originally intended on auctioning off last month to coincide with the release of Star Wars: Episode III – Revenge of the Sith. But those plans got sidetracked and I’m auctioning it off now. Better late than never, right?
I plan on following up this auction very soon with a piece inspired by Batman Begins. So if you don’t win this auction, look for the next one to come down the pike in the next week or so.
As previously mentioned above, people who have signed up for the Theater Hopper mailing list were tipped off early to the auction last night. In fact, I let them know as soon as I posted it to eBay and there has already been a handful of bids. You don’t want to be left out of the loop for next time, do you? Sign up for the mailing list today and be the first to know about auctions, new merchandise and possibly be given the opportunity to cash in on discounts for advertising and stuff in the store! It takes literally seconds and you’ll only be getting e-mails from me. We do not sell your information to anyone else!
Regarding the comic, I really wanted to do something closer in the spirit of the new Batman movie opening today, but when I sat down to conjure something up, the idea of the wealthy transforming their lives to become super heroes just stuck in my brain. Paris Hilton as “Tanorexia,” specifically. The only way to get it out was to put pen to paper.
Incidentally, this isn’t the first time Uncle Moneybags has appeared in the comic. Enjoy him in his utter 1920’s carpet bagging glory in these two strips from the archive.
When you stop to think about it, Bruce Wayne did a pretty amazing thing taking his family’s fortune and using it to avenge his parents murder. Whenever I think of a spoiled rich kid from the East Coast, I’m thinking of some coked-out yuppie yachting with his blue-blood girlfriend Mitzy. Most people don’t have the drive or determination to use their resources to become better than what they are.
I suppose that’s why Batman resonates so well with people. He represents the potential we could reach if we had deep, psychological issues, unlimited supplies of money and a flying rodent fetish. (Young wards optional.)
I have high hopes for the new Batman film. It’s been getting positive reviews out the wazoo. But it doesn’t look like I’ll be able to go to the theater any time soon. Cami is getting her Master’s degree and started her summer semester this week. She’s taking an accelerated course, so she’s in class tonight and almost every day this week. Even Saturday!
Of course Sunday is Father’s Day, but(unfortunately) my Dad isn’t into these kind of geek-fest cinema offerings. Oh, man! When I have kids, they’re gonna pay on Father’s Day.
“But Dad! We want to take you golfing!”
“Screw that! We’re going to see Batman 15: Bat Attack! starring Haley Joel Osment!”
Dumb kids…
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Guys, I am passing along a note from my good friend, THorum moderator and hosting provider Brian asking for your help to bring the server that Theater Hopper (and several other well known comics like Nothing Nice To Say, Rob and Elliot, Beaver and Steve, Joe and Monkey and many more) resides on.
Brian has been notified by the company that owns the server that we are FAR beyond the allowed rate of transfer – around 20Mbps at points when we should be around 1Mbit, or so.
Brian needs a monetary influx to upgrade the server to the point that we can avoid the server company imposing a transfer rate cap. A cap would greatly slow down the performance of the server and all the sites on it and we wish to avoid that.
Once we get past this growing pain, Brian is planning to launch his own hosting company, the proceeds from which should hopefully make donation requests like these a thing of the past as his company becomes self-sustaining and wildly successful.
Please donate anything you can spare, even if it’s just a dollar. I’ve already sent money onto Brian to help him pursue his dream of forming his own business and as a “Thank You” for the continued service he provides this site. He more than deserves our support for the time he has invested into the success of Theater Hopper.
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Jun17
A PERFECTIONIST WITH ACCESS TO THE NECRONOMICON
June 17th, 2005 |
(7 votes, average: 8.71 out of 10)
When people go to see Batman Begins this weekend, there will be rave reviews of how the undead Laurence Olivier knocked it out of the park with his cameo appearance. Mark my words.
Quick note: Be sure to place your bids on the auction I’m having for an original piece of artwork over on eBay. There are only 2 days left, so be sure you don’t miss out on the action. I was really pleased with how this piece turned out and hopefully it will make one of you very happy to own it.
Now, onto the comic!
Is it relatively clear that the angry director in today’s strip is Christopher Nolan? I’m always a little paranoid when it comes to my celebrity caricatures. Especially when it comes to celebrities people aren’t very familiar with. EVEN MORE ESPECIALLY when it’s a director with only 3 films under his belt.
That’s why I’ve included this handy picture for reference. That, kids… is Christopher Nolan, director of Batman Begins. See? We learn something new every day!
It’s insane the level of talent Nolan has attracted to his relaunch of the Batman franchise. Who cares if Morgan Freeman admitted to taking the role strictly for the money? This film has Oscar winners and nominees littered all over the place like used bubble gum.
I suppose Nolan’s pedigree directing and writing the extremely intelligent Memento and his confident handling of the remake of Insomnia would inspire some confidence. But wouldn’t David S. Goyer’s name on the script raise a few eyebrows of suspicion? Let’s face it – Blade: Trinity was not Bridge of the River Kwai.
Of course Goyer brought us good films like Dark City, but I would say that was more a success for director Alex Proyas, whose amazing visuals sold that film to me lock, stock and barrel. Meanwhile, Goyer’s credits are more bad than good. After all, this was the man who penned the Nick Fury: Agent of S.H.I.E.L.D. TV movie starring… wait for it… David Hasselhoff. So Goyer has some sins to answer for.
Still, from the sound of things, his Batman Begins script is very strong. All the feedback I’ve been hearing since it opened to $15 million on Wednesday has been positive. MORE than positive, actually. “Enthusiastic” would be more like it.
This has been pure torture for me, though. Because I am trying to stay away from spoilers. I accidentally read a preview that gave away the ending shot between Gary Oldman’s Detective Gordon and Christian Bale’s Batman – naturally setting the stage for the sequel. But even with that nugget of information, I’m far more interested in the unfolding of the mythology – just to see if they get it right.
The reason I haven’t seen the movie yet is because Cami is pursuing her MBA and started her summer semester this week. She’s taking a condensed course that will rocket her through her workload in something like 7 classes. The bad news is, she’s been out of the house most of this week. An evening class on Monday, Wednesday and Friday from 5PM until 10PM, plus an ALL DAY class from 8AM to 5PM tomorrow, then back to the evening class routine next week and she’ll be done.
In the meantime, she’s too exhausted to go out and see movies. Understandably so! So I am left patiently waiting from her to come down from her education O.D.
She’s told me to go ahead and see the movie without her. And even though I will probably see Batman Begins multiple times, I don’t roll like that. I’ll wait. For me this isn’t a movie that it would be nice for her to see. I think it’s a movie she SHOULD see. If it’s as good as everyone says it is, maybe it’ll open the door a little wider for her to understand my adolescent admiration of these characters.
And a little understanding between husband and wife never hurts, right? ;D
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In light of the revelation that Tom Cruise and Katie Holmes are now engaged, I feel as though my comic from last Wednesday is somewhat prophetic.
It certainly doesn’t seem strange that Cruise would propose the week Holmes’ movie opens and the week before War of the Worlds hits theaters, does it?
Please note heavy sarcasm.
If you’d like a little insight (or conjecture, based on where you stand) about how thoroughly creepy the whole TomKat affair has become, Jeffery Wells’ Hollywood Elsewhere column from this Wednesday is an interesting read.
And while we’re taking trips in the Way-back Machine, I thought you guys might get a kick out of revisiting this comic from September 15, 2003. It was a strip commenting on the announcement of Christian Bale being cast as the new Batman.
This is one of my personal favorite strips. Look how far we’ve come!
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