Taking MTV to task for no longer playing music is a bit like shooting fish in a barrel. Added to that, it’s not very original.

But for better or worse, The MTV Movie Awards was a big-ticket news item in the world of movies this week and it’s what I decided to spoof.

I suppose I could have taken shots at Mr. and Mrs. Smith, coming out today. But would anyone be interested in another commentary about celebrity hook-ups immediately following the shot I fired across the bow of TomKat in Wednesday’s strip?

I am 27 years old. I’ll be 28 in December. The closer I get to 30, the further I fall outside of MTV’s target audience. On the surface, I’m fine with this. Call it “The Circle of Life.” But underneath, there is a little resentment. Growing up as part of the “MTV Generation,” what does it feel like when Mommy and Daddy don’t love you anymore?

I could have cared less about The MTV Movie Awards last night. I didn’t even know they were on until I stumbled past them on the dial. However, there was a time when the MTV Movie Awards were very important to me. I remembered the skits they did and how the whole affair seemed like a grand zinger fired in the face of conventional award shows – and specifically, the stodgy Oscar telecasts. With bright, flashy graphics and set designs that looked like they threatened to tumble into the audience and crush Adam Sandler, it was aimed straight toward the visceral sensibilities of a 14 year-old boy.

And it worked.

Watching it now, I can see through all the glitz (or do they call it “bling” now-a-days?) In fact, the proceedings show its hand so transparently, it’s like playing poker with a moron who will lean over and ask you “Are these four aces any good?”

The show used to be live. That’s out the window. Now it’s taped in advance and all the news outlets report the winners. No reason to watch now!

Even if you did watch, you can tell that all of the winners have been notified in advance that they’re taking home “The Golden Popcorn,” so they’d better be in attendance. You’ll notice that there’s never a shot of the multiple nominees glaring expectantly at the podium when the winner is announced. The people who win couldn’t look more unsurprised. What reason does that give me to be invested in their achievement?

At least in years past the skits between awards were good for a laugh. I will still never get over The Brady Bunch re-enacting the interrogation scene from Basic Instinct. Classic. This year? Nary a titter. My funny bony remains unmoved.

Analyzing the show as if it had any merit is frustrating to an alarming degree. I’ve been hip to this scam for a while, but looking back on how much B.S. I was willing to ignore for the sake of being entertained tells me what a dumb teenager I really was. It’s embarrassing.

Thinking about the kids who are growing up with this kind of low-grade – Nay! – almost narcoleptic marketing makes me think that they won’t have a chance at all when it comes to maturing into independent thinkers.

I guess that explains how someone like Britney Spears could become popular…