Archive for November, 2004
21 items.
This blog was lost when Theater Hopper moved to WordPress in January 2009
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I don’t think I’m saying anything shocking when I complain that Hollywood’s standard of beauty is warped beyond measure. Nevermind the damage it does to everyday people who try to follow the examples of their idols.
I find Renee Zellweger’s “daring transformation” particularly egregious. The woman is essentially being rewarded for being rail thin, then being heralded as brave by putting on pounds to portray a regular-sized woman in the Bridget Jones movies. This in face of the fact that Zellweger was actually paid A BONUS for each pound she put on to achieve the appropriate look in the Bridget Jones sequel.
Weight gain for the first movie probably wasn’t a big deal for the first Bridget Jones when she was languishing in movies like One True Thing and Me, Myself and Irene. But after Chicago and Cold Mountain and becoming a certifiable “A-lister” made packing on the pound a more risky proposition.
So, instead of approaching the issue from an artistic perspective – that the Bridget Jones character is, yes, a little overweight and it would seem odd to play the part as a skeletal figure (as she appeared at the ’03 Oscars) – she would let money grease the wheels. Bribe her in to looking normal.
Excuse me if I find the whole thing offensive.
You’ll have to excuse me for going light on the backgrounds of today’s comic, but I have a good reason. Cami and I spent most of the afternoon putting the Spoiler t-shirts into envelopes and preparing them to mail today. In fact, there were so many shirts, one could say it was a little overwhelming!
That’s not all of the packages, obviously. Just enough to give you the idea it was a lot. Here’s a picture of all the envelopes in a tidy box, ready to be taken to the fine folks at the Unites States Postal Service…
I’m really excited to get these shirts off to everyone who placed an order. Mostly because I know if you’re anything like me, you hate to wait! But rest assured that they’re on their way to you now and I appreciate your support!
I know I said once I could get this first shipment sent out, I would open up the pre-order process again for anyone who didn’t get an opportunity to place an order. I still plan on doing that… just, not yet.
I want to set aside some time to go over the details of the first mailing and tighten up the process by which I receive orders first. Plus, I plan on unveiling a new t-shirt at the same time I offer pre-ordering for the Spoiler shirt. And it’ll happen this time! I swear!
In the meantime, I hope everyone is enjoying their Monday because I have nothing else to add!
Later!
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Nov17
You thought I was going to let it go, didn’t you? Nope. I’m as tenacious as a pit bull and this Renee Zellweger/Bridget Jones malarkey has me growlin’ mad!
Not really. I just had another zinger in my head left over from Monday and wanted to try it in another comic. Hey, any opportunity you get to zing Chris Tucker, you should take! Am I right?
Well, kids. All the hoodies, t-shirts and baby doll shirts have been sent out. I dropped them in the mail early this week and they should be making their way to you soon. I know it’s taken a long time to get them to you. For some of you, a little more than a month, so I appreciate your patience.
I was very pleased with the outpouring of interest in this shirt. But the one thing that disappointed me was not being to get them to you faster! Being a one-man operation and not having the money to buy a bunch of shirts up front means I didn’t have shirts at my house, ready to mail when the orders came in. Not like I have the space to store all the items, but I think you get the sense of things.
I felt by offering the variety of colors and styles that I did, that would offset the long wait. I wouldn’t have been able to offer an extra large eggplant t-shirt to that one guy out west if I had purchased 100 black tees ahead of time. Many thanks to Brunetto Shirts for being extra flexible and exceptionally cool. I appreciate your hard work, guys!
That said, I’ll probably scale back some of the variety for the second printing. Truth be told, there were some colors that didn’t sell and some that sold barely any. So there are going to be some of you out there who are the proud owners of a LIMITED EDITION Spoiler shirt! It’ll never be seen in that color again.
All the ladies who ordered baby dolls should feel equally as lucky, because I don’t think I’ll offer the design for that style again, either. Don’t worry, though. I have a replacement for all the baby doll fans. A design exclusive to that style of shirt. Won’t the boys be jealous?!
Expect some big changes to the site over the weekend. Yeah, yeah. I know I’ve made those promises before. But this time I’m actually setting aside some time to really make things fly. I’m taking a personal day off from work on Friday, but getting up at the butt-crack of dawn and acting like I’m on the clock anyway. Except this time, instead of working for “The Man”, I’ll be working for you! Updating the store to offer new tees, getting the posters page back online as well as adding a NEW page offering original commissioned artwork to all the boys and girls (who have the scratch to pay for it!) It’s going to be great.
I’m also going to bring all of the Bonus Material pages up to speed and redesign them in CSS so they match the rest of the site. Reviews, guest strips, fan art – they’ll all get a new coat of paint. Who knows. I might even add a LIVE CAM along with the static web cam archive so you guys can watch me work on the strip Sunday, Tuesday and Thursday nights!
Oh, by the way. If you have a web cam of your own and are interested in joining the Theater Hopper web cam portal, all you have to do is sign up for an account in the THorum and fill in the field in your profile with a link to your cam image. It’s deceptively simple and really fun.
Anyway, enough jibber-jabber. I guess I’m just really excited for all of the changes. Hopefully we’re entering the next era of Theater Hopper’s evolution and I can continue to make the site a content-rich experience for everyone.
I appreciate your support! Thanks, guys!
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Oh, before I forget. Extra cool guy and Dayfree Press alum Jim Burgess is celebrating a milestone with his comic Able and Baker – 200 strips! Be sure to visit the site and join the celebration!
Also a big shout out to JDizzle Comics, our latest sponsor. JDizzle was off the scene for a while this summer, but is back and better than ever with a brand new web site. Check it out!
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For those of you wondering if I’ve replaced Tom and Jared with two new guys, don’t worry. They’re just another set of characters I like to dust off every once in a while. Let’s call them “The Slacker Screenwriters”. They’ve actually appeared in a couple of comics before.
National Treasure comes out today and every fiber of my being is telling me it’s gonna be an early Thanksgiving turkey. First, it’s a Jerry Bruckheimer production, so you have to go into it knowing it’ll contain high levels of Hollywood cheese.
Second, the director – Jon Turteltaub – directed While You Were Sleeping, Cool Runnings AND 3 Ninjas. Not a confidence boosting resume.
Third, his screenwriters don’t fare much better. Jim Kouf wrote Operation Dumbo Drop. Partners Cormac and Marianne Wibberley had a hand in Bad Boys II, Charlie’s Angles: Full Throttle and I Spy. None of these films prose inspires confidence.
Basically, it’s the homogenized effort of a handful of filmmakers with questionable box office history. I mean, the whole thing smacks of this lazy attitude like, “We couldn’t get the rights to The DaVinci Code, but let’s make a movie just like it and just sub out Renaissance painters with American history.”
Don’t even get me started about Nic Cage’s very obvious and very bad wig or his character’s laughable name of Benjamin Franklin Gates. I mean, why not just go full tilt with it and call him “Dash Charming” or friggin’ “Dudley Do-Right”, or something? My eyes are rolling out of my head over here.
But yet how can a film that co-stars Harvey Kietel, Sean Bean, Jon Voight and Christopher Plummer be ALL bad? All of these actors I respect and admire, so surely they’re bringing something of worth to the table.
That’s probably why, despite the film’s outlandish plot, I still plan on seeing it tonight. I don’t know. I’m just really in the mood for a dumb action/adventure movie right about now. I know I’ll be dumber for it later, but it’ll be a good time at the movies and I can just turn my brain off for a while.
I’ll make up for it later when Mike Nichols’ Closer comes out the week after Thanksgiving.
Switching gears for a moment, I wanted to address some business relating to the site. Theater Hopper is hosted by a very nice fellow (and THorum Moderator) Brian Arnold. Brian is in a bit of a pinch right now and asked me to share with you a message regarding his ability to service this site. It is as follows:
Currently, the server we have is pretty rock solid. The problems we’ve had have been minimal, but the company has been less and less reliable in certain areas, and so it’s time to move. Moving will also be an upgrade, including more disk space on the server, as well as literally a processor that is twice as fast, and a connection that is 10 times faster, meaning you’ll get more funny at ever greater speeds! However, moving isn’t exactly cheap.
If every single visitor to TH gave one penny, we’d have the money to move. Seriously, we don’t need tons of money. Technically, we don’t need any money. If you don’t give anything, the site will still be here for your enjoyment. Donating helps us to make the move to the better server. Any amount of money over and above the needed initial cost will go into future hosting costs.
That said, giving just a penny through Paypal, while thoughtful, doesn’t really work. Paypal takes 30 cents no matter what, so when you donate, please give at least 32 cents, so that a penny does reach us
You don’t have to give money, but every dollar is appreciated. To donate, click here. Thanks! – Brian
So basically this isn’t a “have to” situation. If you guys aren’t able to donate to help Brian’s cause, it’s not a big deal. But Brian offers excellent service and I wanted to return the favor. If you’re interested in the long term viability of Theater Hopper – faster performance, more reliable connections – then feel free to donate. Or maybe you’re just feeling generous and want to help a fellow tech guy in need. We’re not asking for much. A dollar will do. Heck, even fifty cents will do. Whatever sounds fair. We appreciate the opportunity to bring this to your attention.
With that out of the way, I hope everyone has a great weekend. I know I will. I’m typing this from home right now. I’m taking a personal day off from work today and I have a WHOLE LIST of improvements I’m going to make to the site on my day off. Really bring things up to speed. If you visit the site over the weekend, you’ll probably see them start popping up here and there. But expect a full breakdown of site additions and revisions on Monday.
Oh, and if you feel up to it, sign up in The THorum and participate in our little weekly ritual – The Friday Five. We ask you five questions, you answer them. Couldn’t be easier! If you were looking for a window of opportunity to join the community, it’s a great way to introduce yourself and learn more about the other people online! Check it out!
Later!
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I regard to Brian’s message which I posted in today’s blog, a new topic has been created in the THorum. It fleshes out the information a little bit more for those of you who had questions.
If you need a little extra incentive to donate, would it bolster your spirit to know that Theater Hopper shares a server with the awesomeness that is Joe and Monkey? So by donating, you’re not only helping TH, but another excellent web comic as well.
By the way, Zack is kicking around t-shirt ideas for his site. He came up with a great design based off his Kleptobot character. You can view it here.
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Cami and I were able to catch an early matinee of National Treasure this weekend. An enjoyable ride, but very much a by-the-book action adventure film. Rouge hero? Check. A villain who betrays his confidence? Check. Mousy techno-geek who interjects glib one-liners for comedic effect? Check. Hot girl who tags along mid-way through the action? Check.
There isn’t anything in National Treasure that you haven’t seen a million times before. The “clues imbedded in American history” approach was an interesting device, but they’re so transparently lifting their inspiration from The Da Vinci Code, you keep thinking the film version of THAT script would be so much better to watch.
Something else that was very transparent to me was the several awkward product placements crammed into this movie. A lot of them appear after the film’s main set piece – The abduction of The Declaration of Independence.
While on the run, Nicholas Cage’s character stops to see his father Jon Voight. With the FBI hot on their tail, they tie up Voight to make it look like there were there to steal something from him and protect him from any guilt-by-association. As the Feds are questioning him, they inform him that his car has been stolen. Voight laments “My Cadillac STS!” Cut to the next scene and a big close up of the Cadillac emblem on the hood of the car. “You’re Dad has a sweet ride,” says the mousy techno-geek.
Dressed in formal wear – gowns and tuxes – Cage’s character suggests they go buy some less conspicuous clothes. Cut to an external shot of an Urban Outfitters! Ooo! Look at all those cool clothes they’re trying on! Don’t forget to pay with your Visa card (which gets another prominent close-up.)
Later in the movie when Cage is caught by the authorities, he’s called by the villainous treasure hunter Sean Bean to arrange a transfer of a valuable artifact. Of course he attempts to reach him on his Motorola cell phone. Before handing it to him, make sure the logo is PLAINLY VISIBLE!
I don’t know if I’m off my rocker and I’m the only person who notices this, but these kinds of product placements were screamingly obvious to me at several points in the movie. It distracted me from what little story there was.
I’m not saying anything that hasn’t been addressed by more competent essayists, but the amount of advertising we’re subjected to at the movies is becoming increasingly alarming. If there aren’t commercials in front of the trailers before the movie, they’re on the packaging of the popcorn and soda we buy. Now they’re inserting sponsorship into the plots of the VERY FILM you’re watching! This kind of cross-promotion is what advertising executives call “penetration”. This is ironic since I get the distinct impression that someone on Madison Avenue is trying to bend me over and have their way with me.
Hey, I understand it must be difficult being an advertising executive. Audiences are savvier to your techniques now than they have ever been in history. You have to CONSTANTLY find new and interesting ways to get your message out there and cut through the clutter. Heck, if you could tattoo the inside of our eyelids while we were sleeping, I’m sure you’d give it a shot.
But to paraphrase the late comedian Bill Hicks… “If you’re in advertising, do me a favor. Just… kill yourself. Get it over with right now. Kill yourself.” Because I don’t think I can tolerate any more commercials when I’m paying to be entertained and to be transported to a realm where these kinds of daily annoyances shouldn’t exist.
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Yeah, I know it’s kind of lame to keep taking pot-shots at Gigli in our post-Bennifer world climate, but Ishtar and Waterworld jokes are even staler. Bear with me.
Lame jokes aside, I hope everyone has a great Thanksgiving. If you’re traveling, I hope you make it to and from your destinations safely.
Thanksgiving kind of gets a bad rap because of the whole “My Crazy Family!” syndrome. But I find that the older you get, the less you interpret your family’s quirks as annoying. Somewhere in your 20’s they start to become endearing. I know some people who dread Thanksgiving because they don’t want to be around their families. But even if it’s a bad experience, you know these gatherings spawn the events you’ll be talking about for the rest of the year.
Anyway, happy Turkey Day, all.
Something I neglected to mention in Monday’s blog was actually pretty big news. After taking last Friday off from work, I labored tirelessly at home to bring the store up to speed. If you were to check it out now, you’d notice that the posters page is up and running. You’d also be aware that there are only 14 copies of the original Theater Hopper poster left! If you remember, only 100 were produced, all signed and numbered by yours truly. So they’re a real unique piece of web comic history and a pretty exclusive club to belong to!
The apparel section of the site has been updated as well. For starters, the “Spoiler” tee shirt and hoodie are back up for sale. If you missed it the first time around, now is the chance to place your order. I’m getting feedback and pictures from people who have received their shirts and they love them!
If you visit the shirt and hoodie pages, you’ll also notice that I added a NEW item called “Professional Movie Goer”. The inspiration for this design came from this strip when Jimmy flashed one of Tom’s “Professional Movie Goer” business cards back at him. Now you can let everyone at the multiplex know that you are the only one in attendance QUALIFIED enough to be called a professional!
I think the shirt that I’m most proud of is our new baby doll exclusive – “Truman in a Purse”. Taken directly from this comic where Cami celebrates Legally Blonde 2, now all the ladies can have Truman for their very own! We’re offering this in a TON of colors. 11, to be exact. So everyone should find something that fits their style!
I am currently taking pre-orders for all clothing items through December 10th, so place your order now to reserve your shirt! Due to the time it will take to get these back from the printer, I’m afraid I will NOT be able to meet any orders for holiday delivery. It’s a rough estimate at the moment, but I envision these shirts shipping sometime before the end of the year.
That’s pretty much all I have for the moment. Thanks again for everyone’s support. Best wishes and happy holidays!
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Nov26
I know there probably won’t be as many people visiting the site today since it’s the day after a holiday. But if you managed to make it to the site today for a dose of funny, I applaud your for your vigilance.
For those of you who are part of our international audience, it occurred to me that you might not be familiar with what “Black Friday” is. Essentially it’s the start of the Christmas buying season in America. It’s the day where retailers have insane sales on all their merchandise and open their stores at five in the morning to try and get a jump on their competitors. Suburban housewives become deal-seeking warriors who claw and scratch for savings. That’s why the comic is funny for me. Heading out into a shopping center on Black Friday kind of *IS* like preparing for war.
Incidentally there are a bunch of movies already with the title Black Friday. But the only one on the IMDB that I thought was worth mentioning was this one starring Boris Karloff and Bela Lugosi from 1940. It’s pretty much a horror story about bad science gone wrong when Karloff implants part of a dead gangster’s brain into a friend who is dying. The result are Jeckll and Hyde mood swings and the half million dollars the gangster has squirreled away. I haven’t seen this movie, but now I’m thinking maybe I should!
Don’t forget that shirts are back on sale. The new “Professional Movie Goer” shirt and hoodie, the “Truman in a Purse” baby doll and – in what looks to be a classic – the “Spoiler” shirt and hoodie which are being offered for a second time.
I know you also don’t want to forget our weekly community event we call The Friday Five that’s being hosted in The THorum. Participating is easy! Just sign up for a THorum account. We ask you five questions, you answer them! It’s a great way to introduce yourself to the community and learn something about the people that are already there! Check it out!
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Nov29
IT’S A WONDERFUL THING TO LORD OVER EVERYONE ELSE
November 29th, 2004 |
(5 votes, average: 8.60 out of 10)
Sitting down to watch It’s A Wonderful Life to kick off the holiday season is probably a tradition most families share. That was certainly the case in Cami’s household. They treat is as the pinnacle of holiday entertainment. Cami even has several books about the movie and its history.
And while I’m a big Jimmy Stewart fan, watching It’s A Wonderful Life at my house just wasn’t as big a deal. So, since being married to Cami almost 5 years ago, she has included me into her tradition. While I enjoy it, the film still raises questions for me.
Like most Frank Capra films, there are too many convenient twists in favor of the protagonist. Things end a little too neatly. What happens to these characters afterwards? There is no resolution…
* THE REST OF THIS BLOG POST WAS LOST WHEN THEATER HOPPER WAS MOVED TO WORDPRESS IN JANUARY 2009 *
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