For those of you wondering if I’ve replaced Tom and Jared with two new guys, don’t worry. They’re just another set of characters I like to dust off every once in a while. Let’s call them “The Slacker Screenwriters”. They’ve actually appeared in a couple of comics before.

National Treasure comes out today and every fiber of my being is telling me it’s gonna be an early Thanksgiving turkey. First, it’s a Jerry Bruckheimer production, so you have to go into it knowing it’ll contain high levels of Hollywood cheese.

Second, the director – Jon Turteltaub – directed While You Were Sleeping, Cool Runnings AND 3 Ninjas. Not a confidence boosting resume.

Third, his screenwriters don’t fare much better. Jim Kouf wrote Operation Dumbo Drop. Partners Cormac and Marianne Wibberley had a hand in Bad Boys II, Charlie’s Angles: Full Throttle and I Spy. None of these films prose inspires confidence.

Basically, it’s the homogenized effort of a handful of filmmakers with questionable box office history. I mean, the whole thing smacks of this lazy attitude like, “We couldn’t get the rights to The DaVinci Code, but let’s make a movie just like it and just sub out Renaissance painters with American history.”

Don’t even get me started about Nic Cage’s very obvious and very bad wig or his character’s laughable name of Benjamin Franklin Gates. I mean, why not just go full tilt with it and call him “Dash Charming” or friggin’ “Dudley Do-Right”, or something? My eyes are rolling out of my head over here.

But yet how can a film that co-stars Harvey Kietel, Sean Bean, Jon Voight and Christopher Plummer be ALL bad? All of these actors I respect and admire, so surely they’re bringing something of worth to the table.

That’s probably why, despite the film’s outlandish plot, I still plan on seeing it tonight. I don’t know. I’m just really in the mood for a dumb action/adventure movie right about now. I know I’ll be dumber for it later, but it’ll be a good time at the movies and I can just turn my brain off for a while.

I’ll make up for it later when Mike Nichols’ Closer comes out the week after Thanksgiving.

Switching gears for a moment, I wanted to address some business relating to the site. Theater Hopper is hosted by a very nice fellow (and THorum Moderator) Brian Arnold. Brian is in a bit of a pinch right now and asked me to share with you a message regarding his ability to service this site. It is as follows:

Currently, the server we have is pretty rock solid. The problems we’ve had have been minimal, but the company has been less and less reliable in certain areas, and so it’s time to move. Moving will also be an upgrade, including more disk space on the server, as well as literally a processor that is twice as fast, and a connection that is 10 times faster, meaning you’ll get more funny at ever greater speeds! However, moving isn’t exactly cheap.

If every single visitor to TH gave one penny, we’d have the money to move. Seriously, we don’t need tons of money. Technically, we don’t need any money. If you don’t give anything, the site will still be here for your enjoyment. Donating helps us to make the move to the better server. Any amount of money over and above the needed initial cost will go into future hosting costs.

That said, giving just a penny through Paypal, while thoughtful, doesn’t really work. Paypal takes 30 cents no matter what, so when you donate, please give at least 32 cents, so that a penny does reach us

You don’t have to give money, but every dollar is appreciated. To donate, click here. Thanks! – Brian

So basically this isn’t a “have to” situation. If you guys aren’t able to donate to help Brian’s cause, it’s not a big deal. But Brian offers excellent service and I wanted to return the favor. If you’re interested in the long term viability of Theater Hopper – faster performance, more reliable connections – then feel free to donate. Or maybe you’re just feeling generous and want to help a fellow tech guy in need. We’re not asking for much. A dollar will do. Heck, even fifty cents will do. Whatever sounds fair. We appreciate the opportunity to bring this to your attention.

With that out of the way, I hope everyone has a great weekend. I know I will. I’m typing this from home right now. I’m taking a personal day off from work today and I have a WHOLE LIST of improvements I’m going to make to the site on my day off. Really bring things up to speed. If you visit the site over the weekend, you’ll probably see them start popping up here and there. But expect a full breakdown of site additions and revisions on Monday.

Oh, and if you feel up to it, sign up in The THorum and participate in our little weekly ritual – The Friday Five. We ask you five questions, you answer them. Couldn’t be easier! If you were looking for a window of opportunity to join the community, it’s a great way to introduce yourself and learn more about the other people online! Check it out!

Later!