Today is the day of the big California recall election. If you’ve been watching the news, maybe you’ve heard about it.
I don’t know how much I can add to the cacophony of opinions on the matter, but I will say this: Only in California could a candidate like Arnold Schwarzenegger run for governor and be taken seriously. If he tried to pull something like that in, oh, Nebraska, they’d laugh him right back to Austria.
It’s a scary thought that Kindergarten Cop could be in charge of the 5th largest economy in the world. The decisions he makes in office could potentially affect us all.
I think Ah-nold has a pretty good shot at winning this thing. They say name-recognition is the largest deciding factor at the polls come Election Day. Whose name is more recognizable than Schwarzenegger? Well, if you can spell it, that is.
So what if the man has some skeletons in his closet. I think all of us can agree that a man who (as an actor) has performed scenes disposing enemies in some of the most gruesome ways captured on film might have a misogynist streak in him.
And don’t forget this is California we’re talking about. The state that insists on giving Robert Downey Jr. work no matter how many times he turns up stoned and passed out in the backyards of complete strangers. Arnold’s misadventures in groping look like me parking in a handicapped spot by comparison.
I’ll be monitoring the election tonight. You should too. It’ll be a fascinating and wholly terrifying examination of the democratic process.
In the meantime, I’ll leave you with this fun fact that I found on the Internet Movie Database:
Did you know that the Mattel Toy Company started to make some Conan the Barbarian action figures, but after viewing the film, the executives realized that they couldn’t afford to be associated with a film with such graphic sex and violence. They gave their doll blonde hair, called him “He-man”, and thus created He-Man and the Masters of the Universe.
Who ended up with the better deal? The world may never know.
But I though you said you'd never vote for a Republican.
Yeah, but think of the possibilities! If some house representative got all up in his grill, he could lay the smack down...
CONAN STYLE!
Consider dis a line item vee-toh!
Your fantasies are becoming disturbing more violent.