I’m sure to most of you, today’s comic is an ugly swipe at the American Pie movies. But I can attest that everything said in the 3rd panel rings very true to my ears. This is my honest-to-God interpretation of these movies, and I’m sticking by it.

I won’t deny that the original American Pie had something going for it. The amount of teenage sex they threw up onto the screen wasn’t anything audiences had seen since the hey-days of Porky’s.

But I still can’t hide my resentment.

I’m not a prude and I’m not uptight, but watching these movies makes me feel like I missed something in high school. And, high school being a touchy subject for me, I don’t like being asked to drudge up those memories for the sake of “entertainment”.

For me, and like a lot of you, high school was a daily battle and a boring chore all rolled into one. I had my share of friends and many varied interests. I wasn’t a shut in, picked on or angry at anyone.

But after four years, I was sick of navigating the sea of morons that surrounded me and found the experience without challenge, and worse, a total waste of time.

I don’t miss any of the people I went to high school with. The ones I still want to see, I make a point to see on a regular basis. The rest of them can go back to their lousy waitress jobs at Applebee’s. You won’t see me at any reunion.

I suppose in it’s own way, it’s sad that my high school experience still takes up this kind of real estate in my brain. At 25, I should probably be past it. But, well… here we are.

To that end, the makers of American Pie can rightly jump off the nearst cliff. I have no interest in seeing the third installment – American Wedding – when it comes out on Friday. I think it’s a cheap grab at more money by forcing these “BIG LIFE EVENTS” into the plot. I have more to say about it, but I’m saving it for Friday. I have another American Pie diss on deck.

Never the less, I’m sure Cami will drag me to see it. She’ll claim it’s curiosity, but why lie? Her high school experience was much more enlightened and satisfying than mine.

I can’t complain too much about high school. After all, it is where I met Cami. But so much of high school was just mental debris. I wish I could brush away the bad stuff and focus on the good, but I’m much more effective at that in the present.

Some parts of your past should remain ignored.