I don’t know what it is, but something about Steve Martin’s latest movie smacks of desperation. From the trailers, it looks like Martin was in it for the payday. Damn shame, ’cause I’m a big fan.

I can’t understand why any rational person would pay good money to see Bringing Down the House in the theater. This looks like a movie we’ve seen a thousand times before. And I’m not kidding when it looks like the bastard spawn of Housesitter and Bulworth.

Just like in Housesitter, Martin is saddled with an unruly woman who commandeers his home and stodgy, white bread world. Bulworth has this element, too, but with a political spin — i.e. White man becomes enlightened of black struggles by hanging out in clubs with them, smokin’ blunts and downing a 40 ounce.

I about passed out when I watched the previews for this film with Martin decked out in hip hop regalia talkin’ smack to the brothers in the hood. I’m sorry, but there is something gross and UNFUNNY about a 50 year old white man using Ebonics (which is another load, by the way) for comedic purposes.

It’s like when they put Gwenneth Paltrow in that fat suit for Shallow Hal. The jokes weren’t originating from the character, they WERE the character. It’s all supposed to be an inside joke where everyone says “Okay, we all know Gwenneth is thin an attractive, but let’s make her fat and ugly! That’s it! That’s the joke!”

Pass.

I think most people will agree that Martin is at his best when he is being subtle and intelligent. Why stoop to this? It’s Sgt. Bilko all over again. Steve, Steve, Steve…

Anyway, today is my last strip before going on vacation to New York. I’m excited to go and I miss Cami a lot. It will be good to see her again. Three days is a long time.

While I’m away, keep coming back to the site for an ultra dose of guest strip mayhem! I already have 4 in the bin, and I’m expecting at least two more. That’s 6 strips people. You’re getting a better deal here than if you had me doing the work!

And don’t forget to check us out on the 17th when I get back, because we’re going to premier the Theater Hopper Documentary. It’s going to be a blast!

Before I take off, I want to give a general shout out to everyone who is helping to keep the site running while I’m away. The individual artists providing their guest strips will get their due on the day their strip is posted, so don’t worry about that.

But I really want to thank Jared for uploading all of this new content. I’m preparing all of the guest strip pages in advance while Jared does the dirty work of getting them posted. With his help, he’s allowed me to take a something that would otherwise result in plummeting readership and turn it into a genuine opportunity. Thanks.

To the rest of you, take care! I’ll be back in this spot on the 17th!

↓ Transcript
Meanwhile, at the Hall of Executives...

Steve Martin is hosting The Oscars in March. We need to slap together a movie quick;y in order to capitalize on the exposure.

How about we combine the predictable "fish out of water" plot of Martin's own Housesitter...

...with the pure comedic gold of watching white people act like black people in Bulworth!

INSULTIME MOVIE PREMISE... ACTIVATE!!!

YES! Fly! Fly, my pretty! Spread your mediocrity across the land!