Archive for January, 2003
18 items.
As I type this, Cami is downstairs watching the last of the Golden Globes. She always gets excited during award season. Personally, I could care less about some of them. And of all the wolves in sheep’s clothing, I think the Golden Globes are the worst offenders.
Everyone talks about how the Golden Globes are a precursor to who will win the Oscar. My feeling is that Oscar voters are just lazy and will mark down on the ballot whichever name rings a bell first. The media fills in all the gaps between now and March.
You only need look at the nominees for Best Actress in a Comedy or Musical to realize that the opinions of the Hollywood Foreign Press Association mean exactly nothing. Goldie Hawn for The Banger Sisters? C’mon!
I didn’t get a chance to see any movies this weekend because I was doing it up Minneapolis-Style with my good friend Nick when Cami, Jared, Jared’s wife Patti and I all went to visit him and his wife Erin over the weekend.
I had an awesome time catching up with them and they took us to a really cool Thai restaurant whose entrees did not result in me clutching my throat while steam poured out my ears. It was really good.
Visiting places like Minneapolis makes me realize how boring Des Moines could be. We went out to the Uptown district and were cruising by all of these shops. There were more people walking around on a Saturday night then you’re likely to find in a whole month in Des Moines. Never mind the temperature was, like negative 5. There were still people milling about.
If anything, going North for the weekend has taught me that I am not as equipped to handle the cold as I once thought. I’m wearing a turtleneck and a heavy wool coat, freezing my ass off and I’m seeing locals wandering about with no jackets, wearing only t-shirts. Sick.
I was a little disappointed that I didn’t get an opportunity to get some face time with my fellow web-comic authors Mitch from Nothing Nice to Say or Zach from No Pants Tuesday. But our time was brief. Still, it would have been cool. I guess these links to their sites will have to do…
You may have noticed that we’re starting to flesh out the reviews section. Today, I’ve added some words about the new Jason Lee/Julia Stiles flick A Guy Thing. How appropriate that it was written by our good friend Nick! You should go read it right now and learn why Nick has the BA in English and I don’t. That kid writes scary-good.
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I think for a lot of you, panel two will be worth the price of admission alone. But let’s keep our eye on the ball here, people! Kangaroo Jack was the number one movie in the country last weekend! WHAT HAPPENED?!
I swear, you go away to Minneapolis for ONE weekend…
Honestly, I about dropped a stone when I read how this dung heap stole the top spot in box office. $17.7 million dollars in three days. That’s pretty good by anyone’s rule book. Just think of all the quality films that will never see that in an entire theatrical run. The Pianist, for example. Right now, Jerry O’Connell is somewhere laughing at all of us.
I’d like to think people paid good money for this dreck because there was some sort of national amnesia that prevented consumers from remembering other celluloid turkey’s from “Down Under”. The faint recollection of any Paul Hogan movie should have jolted any sensible movie-goer into screaming out of the theater.
Maybe ol’ George Dubya is spiking the water supply in preparation for war with Iraq. This weekend was just a test run to see how well the masses follow orders. Just now I can picture television sets across the nation broadcasting hidden subliminal messages behind an episode of Friends.
“You will see Kangaroo Jack. You will enjoy this fine piece of cinema.”
At this point, all I can muster is a sick shudder.
In other news…
I decided to update the poll there in the upper right hand corner of the blog. In our previous poll, I asked “What Do You Like Most About Theater Hopper?” Of the 153 of you that replied, a whopping 73% like the strip the most. 8% like the blog, 7% like the consistency, other 7% liked the writing, 3% enjoy “other” (care to elaborate?) and about 1% like the art – which is kind of redundant if you like the strip.
The remaining options – the reviews, bonus material and about page – all raked in a fraction of a percent. Meanwhile, the lonely links section scored a big goose egg.
I wasn’t really expecting anyone to say that the links section was their favorite part of the site. So maybe it would have been more scientific to inquire what you like LEAST about the site. It would also seem to make sense that I would run that poll today so I’d know where to trim the fat off of the site. But I’m not doing that, because that would be predictable.
What I was most surprised by was how much writing and consistency was valued. To say you like “the strip” sort of implies that you like the whole package. But to say you appreciate the writing or the consistency says “These are specific aspects of the strip that I value. I want more of this!” So that’s something I’m going to stick to over the long haul.
In regard to the new poll, I’m beginning to explore revenue-earning options. The site is at the stage now where I feel we have a pretty strong following. I’ve exhausted just about every available resource in terms of making the site known to the public (trading links, crossovers, making my presence felt on message boards) and am thinking about producing some extra material for the fans.
How this will shape up, I don’t know. I can say that I like the way Penny Arcade does things with their Club PA promotion. Donate what you think is fair, and we’ll send you something extra. At this point, I’m just asking if you could donate, what would you like in return. Click the link beneath the poll for more information.
Thanks again for making this all worthwhile.
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So I’m continuing to pound the living tar out of Kangaroo Jack. As far as I’m concerned, there isn’t enough satire in the universe to compensate for the evil this film has cast over the Earth. I guess I’m just trying to do my part – however small.
Some of you may or may not be familiar with Jerry Bruckheimer, the target of today’s strip. He’s basically your typical big-shot movie producer, cramming his vision down the throats of an American movie-going public. Here’s a picture of the guy so we all have a point of reference:
Man, what an ugly mug. That’s the kind of face only a highly paid call girl could love.
To his credit, he’s been the money behind several of our culture’s largest film iconography. Top Gun and Flashdance come to mind. But to his detriment, he’s also made a string of lousy blow ’em up pictures like Con Air and Gone in 60 Seconds.
The idea for today’s strip came from an old high school friend who wrote me a prophetic e-mail in response to last Friday’s strip. This, mind you, was before Kangaroo Jack went on to do boffo box office over the weekend.
“Personally, I subscribe to the theory that the only reason this film [Kanagroo Jack] was made was for Jerry Bruckheimer to test his “midas touch” theory. You know, how it seems that a disproportionate amount of the crappy movies he makes end up with big grosses… So he does this: finds a crappy script, puts Jerry O’Connell in a starring role, sticks his name on it as producer and laughs at all the rubes who pay to see it. We’ll have to see how it does.”
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I kind of ignored his message at the time, but realized how incredibly profound it was after the weekend tally.
“What did I tell ya?” he wrote the following Wednesday “Bruckheimer made some sort of Faustian bargain and it is only a matter of time before he is able to buy the world with his ill gotten gains. Then we’ll all be sorry.”
From there, the strip was basically standing inches from my face screaming at incredible volume. So thanks, Eric for the fodder!
In other new relating to the apocalypse, I received an e-mail from a “certain Carmike employee” (who wished to remain nameless) informing me that Kangaroo sold out at the theater he worked at not once… but twice.
This is seriously bumming me out.
On a brighter note, is anyone appreciating the awesome work going on at No Pants Tuesday and Jayhoo & Jawhoo lately? Both Zach and Mark are putting out some excellent art lately. If you’re not down with it, you’re missing out on some quality stuff. Zach’s color and shading make my strip look like it’s been fleshed out with a Lite Brite. Mark’s composition and visual story telling make me wish I wasn’t such a slave to my four panel rule. Great stuff. Check it out.
And lastly, it’s been very interesting to monitor the results of the poll we have going now. There’s been a pretty strong response since posting it on Wednesday. Almost 100 visitors have taken a nanosecond and made their selection.
I guess I wasn’t surprised that the majority of you want to help, but have no money (or, more likely don’t have a credit card to make a PayPal transaction possible). But I was kind of take aback to learn that in second place, you would want t-shirts. I figured stickers would come way before that, and here they are at the bottom of the list.
You’ve put me in a tough spot, people. A sticker would have been easy. Slap a logo on some adhesive paper, laminate it and off you go. But a t-shirt? That means I have to come up with a concept. And I don’t even know where to start.
I’m kinda wishing I didn’t include that “I have money, but refuse to donate” option in there. Or at least worded it differently. Oh well.
I hope everyone enjoys their weekend!
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Jan27
For the record, I am painted green in today’s strip because I want to be more like The Hulk.
And yes, I am wearing pants.
I didn’t get an opportunity to watch this, the first-ever all-pirate Super Bowl mostly because I have been spending the weekend installing laminate flooring in my kitchen. Most of my spare time has been spent recuperating.
But consider yourself lucky that you got a strip today. I could have very easily sawed off a thumb. I was dealing with circular saws, compound miter saws, even tiny handsaws for three days straight.
This basically makes Cami’s one-liner in the last panel perfectly moot in the real world. I operated power tools, dammit! POWER TOOOOOOOLS!
All things the same, I did get to see the trailers in question… just not during the Super Bowl. All of them I caught on line long before Sunday.
I saw the first few Hulk teaser trailers a while ago and think they’re very well done. The don’t show much of ol’ Jade Jaws, and that’s good. The people involved in this movie know half of the draw is seeing how they put a 8 foot tall green behemoth on the screen.
I’m still pretty amazed that Ang Lee is directing this thing. I mean, this is the same guy who directed Sense and Sensibility. It doesn’t add up.
The latest Daredevil trailer makes the movie look really good, but I’m still afraid Ben Affleck is gonna screw it up. He wouldn’t have been my first choice to play The Man Without Fear. Hell, Matt Damon would be better! But, like I sucker, I go see it.
Terminator 3 looks lamest of the bunch. For some reason, this seems like Ah-nold’s last hurrah as an action hero. I don’t seem him making any more pictures like this.
The plot of Rise of the Machines looks predictably lame. To up the ante, there is an even MORE advanced Terminator coming after John Conner – the T-X. And, of course, it’s a woman. So what do they send back in time to protect him? Another T-800 which, by this point, must be shockingly behind the curve-technology wise. And why are the outsides of these things getting more wrinkled and leathery? Hmmm…
Anyway, that’s it for current stuff. Here’s some gristle to chew on…
Last Friday’s strip got a very strong response. Apparently a lot of you feel just as strongly about Jerry Bruckheimer as I do. But I’m beginning to think it’s less and less the fault of producers like him, but instead, the sweeping gullibility of the American public. Did anyone else see that Darkness Falls was #1 at the box office this weekend? Expect some commentary on that this Wednesday.
Secondly, last Friday I made mention of an e-mail I received from “a certain Carmike Cinema employee” who told me how Kangaroo Jack sold out two showings in his theater. I was mistaken when I thought he wished to remain nameless. That was not the case.
So, credit where credit is due, Adam Douglas is the one who provided me with that heart-stopping statistic. Sorry, Adam.
I guess you could say I’m just trying to put right what once went wrong. Kind of like Dr. Sam Beckett in Quantum Leap…
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I don’t really know what to say about today’s strip. I wish I had a big rant ready for you, but my batteries are kind of low.
All I know is, when I heard Darkness Falls was the number one movie last weekend, I was very, very disappointed.
I mean, this is different than Kangaroo Jack taking the top spot. KJ had some serious advertising muscle behind it. Meanwhile the makers of Darkness Falls send three commercials to MTV, and it’s number one. I’ve come to the conclusion that Americans are not the pawns of agressive advertising, but rather, the victims of their own poor choices. You have no one to blame but yourself, people!
I don’t think I can count on one hand the number of people excited to see this movie, much less know what it’s even about. There are no name actors. No well-known director or screenwriters attached. It’s only pedigree is that Stan Winston (and Academy Award winner for Jurassic Park, Terminator 2 and Aliens) did the special effects. What’s the fuss about?
I guess the stat that really floored me is that this movie only cost $11 million to make. That’s steal by Hollywood standards. How much did it rake in it’s first weekend? $12 million. By all intents and purposes, this movie should have been released DIRECTLY to the bargain bin at Blockbuster. Go figure.
Industry annalists said the strong turn-out may have been due to the film’s PG-13 rating which in turn admitted more teenagers. They say the disposable cash teens bring to the box office make tracking results unpredictable on weekends when there are no movies worth seeing. Basically the theory is they will watch anything.
It’s my strong feeling that parents are not doing enough to keep their kids away from poor film making. Drugs and gangs, sure. But where are the child safety locks on something like Just Married?
Why can’t people give some of the better films a second pass? Sure, the buzz has faded on films like Adaptation or About Schmidt since they got their big push for Oscar contention in December. But a lot of these films are just now releasing wide across the country! Go see one of those! God, ANYTHING but Darkness Falls. What does that say about our culture?!
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I’ve been WAY to lazy lately in regard to hooking up sites with link exchanges. I’ve had some e-mails I’ve been sitting on since December and I feel bad because normally I get right on that kind of stuff.
So, in an effort to calm the waters, I wanted to draw everyone’s attention to the following comics: It’s All Been Done, Kule Incorporated, Pathetisad and Destined For Nothing. They’re all really cool and need your support. Check them out right now.
In other web comic news, it looks like Zeek v2.0 has closed it’s doors. The announcement was pretty abrupt. Most people didn’t know it was coming.
From the looks of things, there won’t be any access to the archives, which is a shame. Issac made a damn fine comic. I’ll miss it.
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I’m kind of conflicted about putting Final Destination 2I’ve spoken before about how an R rating is treated like the kiss of death (no pun). I say good for Final Destination 2 for not pulling any punches.
I guess I’m curious to see the film partly because of the Rube-Goldbergian methods of destruction the writers foist upon unsuspecting teenyboppers, But mostly, I wouldn’t mind poking my head inside the theater because I am a fan of the original. Anything written by two former X-Files scribes usually gets a pass in my book.
The first Final Destination was a good movie because it avoided all of the cliches of “new horror” while they were in the thick of the trend. Ever since Scream, it’s been hip to be self-referential or flippant about the truly horrible events surrounding the characters.
The first Final Destination spun that on its head by making the killer not a campsite recluse or dream-stalking bogeyman, but Death itself. There was no physical form to defeat or run away from, but you could still detect the machinations set into play by and unseen force with wholly unforeseen results. They could have made the film with adult actors and gotten away with it. The script was that good.
And that’s why I shudder at the idea of a sequel. They should have left it alone. I feel strongly that the first Final Destination could have gone on to be one of the great cult classics of horror/suspense. You could stand it up the the genre-redefining Scream or Halloween and I wouldn’t take issue with it. To peddle out a sequel makes me concerned that some of the power behind the original will diminish. The fact that they’re releasing a horror film in the beginning of February doesn’t bode well, either.
But then, what I am talking about? Both Scream and Halloween released several inferior follow-ups and it hasn’t taken the tarnish off of the originals. An amazing feat when you consider the 20 plus years Halloween has been with us. I guess I forget about the loyalty fans of this genre exhibit.
We’ll have to wait for the weekend box office tallies before we have the final say.
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I need to get this out of the way before I forget about it for the weekend and look like a total ass.
Dave over at Snafu Comics was nice enough to stick one of my characters in a cameo in Friday’s strip. It’s pretty funny and accurately reflects some opinions I had about Final Fantasy X. I remember vividly thinking “Okay, now when is the game going to start?” after, oh, about 2 hours into the game. All things equal, I still think it’s pretty fun. It goes even faster the second time through.
At some point, I need to make some space on the Bonus Materials page for strips where my characters have made cameos. It’s really a pretty awesome compliment that another artist would think highly enough of your work to sit down and tryin their hand at a rendition of your characters. Gotta get on that…
While we’re speaking of jaw-dropping compliments, I totally forgot to give a shout-out to Aric over at Fish Strips for making it to the big five-oh – 50 strips. Aric included some very nice messages to artists in the community to commemorate the event. Our humble operation was one he gave the nod to.
You can check out his comments, here and here. Thanks, Aric! And keep rockin’ the booty smooth!
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